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Hide or Seek: When Men Get Real with God about Sex
Are you stuck in a never-ending cycle of defeat that fills you with shame, prevents you from leading your family well, getting involved in the church, and spending your time and money on the things that really matter? You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by ending this cycle.
You are not powerless in the fight against pornography and lust. Hide or Seek won’t ask you to jump through a series of hoops; it will simply suggest one clear step forward. One step to reorient your heart toward God’s love for you. One step to take the energy out of the vicious cycle that keeps you from being the man God has called you to be, the man you want to be.
Discover how the gospel speaks in practical terms to the most private areas of your life and how God offers the freedom you desire. Hide or Seek is easy-to-read, full of real-life stories, and points you to the hope for change that many men have given up on finding. Don’t settle for the cycle.
You are not powerless in the fight against pornography and lust. Hide or Seek won’t ask you to jump through a series of hoops; it will simply suggest one clear step forward. One step to reorient your heart toward God’s love for you. One step to take the energy out of the vicious cycle that keeps you from being the man God has called you to be, the man you want to be.
Discover how the gospel speaks in practical terms to the most private areas of your life and how God offers the freedom you desire. Hide or Seek is easy-to-read, full of real-life stories, and points you to the hope for change that many men have given up on finding. Don’t settle for the cycle.
162 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 30, 2014
28 people are currently reading
92 people want to read
About the author
John Freeman
4 booksLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
John Freeman, MDiv is president of Harvest USA and has been a guest lecturer at Westminster Seminary, Reformed Seminary, and Cairn University. He also has contributed to Harvest News, Tabletalk, and the faith page of The Philadelphia Daily News, for which he earned a 2008 Amy Award. A graduate of the University of Tennessee and Westminster Theological Seminary, John and his wife, Penny, have been married for more than thirty years and have three grown children.
John Freeman, MDiv is president of Harvest USA and has been a guest lecturer at Westminster Seminary, Reformed Seminary, and Cairn University. He also has contributed to Harvest News, Tabletalk, and the faith page of The Philadelphia Daily News, for which he earned a 2008 Amy Award. A graduate of the University of Tennessee and Westminster Theological Seminary, John and his wife, Penny, have been married for more than thirty years and have three grown children.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
February 6, 2015
We live in a day and age where the allure of sex is literally at our very fingertips. Smart phones allow men to access a vast array of pornographic material often free of charge in short bursts that wire and work their way into the mind and behavioral patterns of far too many. God has a proper design for sex that is outlined in Scripture, one that places sexual activity strictly within the bond of a covenant marriage relationship. So how can men today deal with the pervasive influence of sex in society, ensuring they maintain a proper view of godly sexual relationships? John Freeman, in his outstanding book Hide or Seek: When Men Get Real with God about Sex, addresses this vital issue.
John Freeman speaks to the issue of sex and sexual healing from years of experience ministering to men who have fallen prey to the world’s false view of sex. Freeman speaks to this issue with great clarity, passion, and a focus on providing the reader with sound biblical wisdom. The statistics he provides on the numbers of men even within the church that are addicted to pornography were quite staggering and sobering. It is quite evident we live in a pornified culture, bent on twisting and manipulating what God created for enjoyment between a husband and wife.
This truly is a heart issue and Freeman does an excellent job of noting that fact. He rightly notes “Sexual distortion and sexual addiction do not exist because sex itself is bad but because we have put it in a place that God never intended it to be.” Many men allow the world’s perversion of sex to master them, which of course then results in the addiction to that master. The good news is there is hope for those who have fallen prey to Satan’s lies in this area of their life.
It is evident Freeman has a passion for helping men find victory through Christ and the truth of God’s Word. No amount of self-gumption can break the bonds of sexual addiction. Only the power of the blood of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit can effect this needed change of heart. Freeman aptly states, “Without Christ, on any given day you’re a God-hater, an idol-maker, and a game-player too. It’s the temperament of every sinful heart. That’s why I need Jesus, not just to clean me up or improve me. I need him to do radical heart surgery on me…every day!” Such a statement demonstrates that fighting against the urge of sexual sin is a minute by minute, day by day battle that can be won only through the Holy Spirit renewing our hearts and minds.
In order to do battle, men must get real and must make an honest assessment of themselves. Many men who are trapped in the web of sexual promiscuity or who are addicted to pornography feel as if they simply cannot stop so why even try. There is a definite sense of hopelessness that must be addressed. Freeman saliently notes the need for confession of sin, stating “Confession is always the beginning of repentance and change. In other words, you can’t have repentance and change without genuine confession.”
Freeman also reminds the reader this is an ongoing battle that must be fought. Temptation will come because the enemy is hell-bent (no pun intended) on twisting God’s perfect design, especially in matters related to sex. I truly appreciated Freeman’s focus on the need for community, believer’s gathering together to help one another stay on the straight and narrow, the essential need for accountability, especially when it comes to finding victory in this particular area. Freeman avers “we need a community to help us process our soul’s discouraging elements and learn how to live a life of faith and repentance.”
There is hope for those addicted to sexual perversion. That hope is found in Jesus Christ and the body of Christ needs to reach out to those struggling in this area, providing a listening ear, a sense of accountability, and a focus on community. Hide or Seek is truly an excellent book and one I highly recommend, especially to those struggling in this area and also to all believers so they can be better prepared to reach out to those in need to help men addicted to sexual perversion to stop hiding and to seek the healing found in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I received this book for free from New Growth Press for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
John Freeman speaks to the issue of sex and sexual healing from years of experience ministering to men who have fallen prey to the world’s false view of sex. Freeman speaks to this issue with great clarity, passion, and a focus on providing the reader with sound biblical wisdom. The statistics he provides on the numbers of men even within the church that are addicted to pornography were quite staggering and sobering. It is quite evident we live in a pornified culture, bent on twisting and manipulating what God created for enjoyment between a husband and wife.
This truly is a heart issue and Freeman does an excellent job of noting that fact. He rightly notes “Sexual distortion and sexual addiction do not exist because sex itself is bad but because we have put it in a place that God never intended it to be.” Many men allow the world’s perversion of sex to master them, which of course then results in the addiction to that master. The good news is there is hope for those who have fallen prey to Satan’s lies in this area of their life.
It is evident Freeman has a passion for helping men find victory through Christ and the truth of God’s Word. No amount of self-gumption can break the bonds of sexual addiction. Only the power of the blood of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit can effect this needed change of heart. Freeman aptly states, “Without Christ, on any given day you’re a God-hater, an idol-maker, and a game-player too. It’s the temperament of every sinful heart. That’s why I need Jesus, not just to clean me up or improve me. I need him to do radical heart surgery on me…every day!” Such a statement demonstrates that fighting against the urge of sexual sin is a minute by minute, day by day battle that can be won only through the Holy Spirit renewing our hearts and minds.
In order to do battle, men must get real and must make an honest assessment of themselves. Many men who are trapped in the web of sexual promiscuity or who are addicted to pornography feel as if they simply cannot stop so why even try. There is a definite sense of hopelessness that must be addressed. Freeman saliently notes the need for confession of sin, stating “Confession is always the beginning of repentance and change. In other words, you can’t have repentance and change without genuine confession.”
Freeman also reminds the reader this is an ongoing battle that must be fought. Temptation will come because the enemy is hell-bent (no pun intended) on twisting God’s perfect design, especially in matters related to sex. I truly appreciated Freeman’s focus on the need for community, believer’s gathering together to help one another stay on the straight and narrow, the essential need for accountability, especially when it comes to finding victory in this particular area. Freeman avers “we need a community to help us process our soul’s discouraging elements and learn how to live a life of faith and repentance.”
There is hope for those addicted to sexual perversion. That hope is found in Jesus Christ and the body of Christ needs to reach out to those struggling in this area, providing a listening ear, a sense of accountability, and a focus on community. Hide or Seek is truly an excellent book and one I highly recommend, especially to those struggling in this area and also to all believers so they can be better prepared to reach out to those in need to help men addicted to sexual perversion to stop hiding and to seek the healing found in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I received this book for free from New Growth Press for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
August 1, 2025
Great book!! This book covers a topic that I fear is all too often not talked about much amongst men. The author was clear in his exhortation for men to examine themselves, And he went into great detail of the affects, and reasons one may seek out sexual sin. And the final chapter offered great practical steps of how to seek out accountable in one's life.
Also I think this book would be great for women to read as well, but it is a book geared more towards men, so keep that in mind.
Also I think this book would be great for women to read as well, but it is a book geared more towards men, so keep that in mind.
March 1, 2016
This is a good book generally and a great book of you are starting down a path of sexual recovery/sobriety.
He is right on in his target of the human heart. This is the issue to be dealt with in regards to sexual sin. He avoids the 'felt needs' oriented approach so often accompanying the types of books. He cuts to the case with the chapters Life As A God-hater, Life As A Idol-maker, & Life As A Game-player. You are not a victim in this struggle, you are alienated from God. This is refreshing. The gospel is central to the deliverance from these sins (as from all others) and he beats the drum over and over in each chapter.
This undoubtedly comes from his depth of Reformed authors and speakers. Lloyd-Jones, Luther, Calvin, Thomas Watson, Paul Tripp, & Timothy Keller are referenced in different ways throughout. It's great material and very applicable the way he uses the quotes.
He also is quite realistic in the depth of the sin for most men. You will have to learn to understand the darkness of the sin to find your way out. But as said before, it is always couched in the gospel.
The only real draw back is some of the writing. It can come off a little bit unpolished or disjointed. An example: ''G. K. Chesterton is said to have one remarked, 'Every man [insert knocking on the door of a brothel quote here]...' I don't know if he really said that or not, but these words make the point really well!'' I get what he is trying to do, but if Chesterton didn't say it, don't bring him up. There are a few points where the book his this type of rhythm.
Good book for all, great book for those getting started out of sexual sin.
He is right on in his target of the human heart. This is the issue to be dealt with in regards to sexual sin. He avoids the 'felt needs' oriented approach so often accompanying the types of books. He cuts to the case with the chapters Life As A God-hater, Life As A Idol-maker, & Life As A Game-player. You are not a victim in this struggle, you are alienated from God. This is refreshing. The gospel is central to the deliverance from these sins (as from all others) and he beats the drum over and over in each chapter.
This undoubtedly comes from his depth of Reformed authors and speakers. Lloyd-Jones, Luther, Calvin, Thomas Watson, Paul Tripp, & Timothy Keller are referenced in different ways throughout. It's great material and very applicable the way he uses the quotes.
He also is quite realistic in the depth of the sin for most men. You will have to learn to understand the darkness of the sin to find your way out. But as said before, it is always couched in the gospel.
The only real draw back is some of the writing. It can come off a little bit unpolished or disjointed. An example: ''G. K. Chesterton is said to have one remarked, 'Every man [insert knocking on the door of a brothel quote here]...' I don't know if he really said that or not, but these words make the point really well!'' I get what he is trying to do, but if Chesterton didn't say it, don't bring him up. There are a few points where the book his this type of rhythm.
Good book for all, great book for those getting started out of sexual sin.
September 15, 2024
I really appreciated reading an honest and gospel-based response to the large problem of our lack of acknowledgement of sexual problems in the church.
Freeman speaks freely and refreshingly of the fact that Pastors and congregants alike struggle with sexual sin in our pornography and sex-saturated culture. He offers helpful stories of redemption (and some sadder ones with lack of repentance) that guide the readers to more carefully examine their hearts and stances as it relates to their sexual sin.
In our twenty-first century, American, Christian context, we so desperately wish that the problem of sexual sin could be swept under the rug and not acknowledged, but without greater acknowledgement of the problem and difficult conversations every day, how can we make progress?
Freeman rightly calls on the readers to dedicate more of their time and attention to this issue and allow God to work through our lives.
Freeman speaks freely and refreshingly of the fact that Pastors and congregants alike struggle with sexual sin in our pornography and sex-saturated culture. He offers helpful stories of redemption (and some sadder ones with lack of repentance) that guide the readers to more carefully examine their hearts and stances as it relates to their sexual sin.
In our twenty-first century, American, Christian context, we so desperately wish that the problem of sexual sin could be swept under the rug and not acknowledged, but without greater acknowledgement of the problem and difficult conversations every day, how can we make progress?
Freeman rightly calls on the readers to dedicate more of their time and attention to this issue and allow God to work through our lives.
July 3, 2018
Many books on this topic are all about managing passions, but those passions stem from the worship center of the person (the heart). Freeman’s book gets to the heart of gospel change for men struggling with sexual sin. I loved the way he deals with difficult topics and at the same time redirects the reader to Jesus. If you struggle with sexual addiction, get this book. May this book be an instrument in the Redeemer’s hand toward your gospel-powered change on your journey of bringing those things that fester in darkness into the light of transforming grace.
August 12, 2020
This book will be frustrating for many men in a good way! It is light on steps and practical applications, and very heavy on gospel centered transformation. Freeman shows how it takes a deep understanding of the love of the Father for us in Christ To take the first steps towards healing from sexual addiction. I really appreciated his wealth of stories, and his connection between sexual struggles and anger in the lives of so many men. A great starting place for men getting serious about holiness in this area!
May 27, 2018
A valuable perspective
I value the insights of this book because it is so clear on hitting the reasons behind behaviors. No matter the specific struggle, the reality is that we typically medicate a deeper pain or longing. Free man's approach highlights this and treats it thoroughly with theology (the why behind the what).
I value the insights of this book because it is so clear on hitting the reasons behind behaviors. No matter the specific struggle, the reality is that we typically medicate a deeper pain or longing. Free man's approach highlights this and treats it thoroughly with theology (the why behind the what).
December 2, 2019
Effective book in exploring the problem of sin and sexuality. I liked the author's focus on the power of grace and how poor theology can hinder recovery. Some of the chapters were repetitive and I wish the last chapter was further elaborated. A great resource to share with men's accountability groups in the church.
March 11, 2020
A solid book on dealing with sexual addition that focuses on its effects on the soul and the theology needed to counteract it rather than diving straight into "stop it."
April 20, 2024
I finally undertood the concept of imputed righteousness and it really made closer to Jesus.
May 15, 2024
Powerful book that gets to heart issues of topics that we don’t talk about enough. A challenging but encouraging read.
January 16, 2019
Excellent book. Highly recommend. Gospel based and centered.
June 12, 2020
Excellent. Chapter 7-10 were phenomenal. I will be rereading and recomending it.
February 8, 2016
Great resource. This is not a difficult read. It is a good first step for someone who is struggling. There are great stories of men overcoming sexual, porn addiction. It is very solid theologically, but not difficult to read and not high on judgment. I think in the process someone would need something more substantial later on, but this is a great first step.
January 27, 2015
Great book about this subject!
This is the book I have been looking for. A great resource! Very biblically based. I believe this is a much neglected in our day.
This is the book I have been looking for. A great resource! Very biblically based. I believe this is a much neglected in our day.
February 28, 2015
Excellent.
June 22, 2015
Excellent book engaging sexual sin. Highlight recomend it.
December 19, 2015
A good treatment on the importance of the gospel in overcoming besetting sin.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews