I'm no stranger to cheesy and downright bad writing, but this was really making my eyes roll. My eyes were aching, they were rolled so much.
There are so many typos and grammar mistakes and confusing sentences that I would have had a hard time rating this well even if I did happen to like the story. "He mouthed my cerotic artery and neck. His sharp teeth only a short signal to his nerves and I'd be a goner."
Pretty sure he meant 'Carotid Artery', but enough about the mistakes...let's get to the story.
Oh, boy.
The Shifter Prince is having problems because not only is he feral most of the time, but he's unable to hold his human form for long. His father is dying, the kingdom is threatened and he needs to beget some heirs to show everyone he's cool to rule. Problem: He's gay. Problem 2: This inhuman form he's slowly morphing into isn't his inner wolf, it's a beast. A beast that will completely take him over very soon if he doesn't mate and make a baby. So, double the pressure to knock up a lady.
Enter the human who's down on his luck but through the tough times finds he's just the guy who is fated to help the prince fight the beast within. As a Fashion and Personal Styling consultant he believes his help will come in the form of a makeover and some magical abilities to read ancient texts to figure out the best way.
Problem 3: Prince and human have feelings for each other and are both male...so no magical babies by next new moon.
Sounds pretty good so far.
But, I've found my Hard Limit.
Gay Shifter sex? Yes! Bring it on, I won't bat a lash. Monster-Human sex. I'm just too squicked out. "I re-sang the song in English. 'Kiss his tree and make it grow, that's how you cure the Hansebeast.'... I knew what I needed to do. I needed to give this monster head." I do not want to hear about deep throating a giant, hairy, un-cut monster dick. Nor do I particularly want to read about the salivating, snarling, raging beast getting close to the delicate human's jewels. "Terrified, I watched helplessly as his powerful jaws opened wide inches away from my fully erect cock.
"No, don't," I begged. I closed my eyes and fought back tears. The end of my cock's life was near."
Now, I read this because on Amazon it is specifically listed as an MPreg, which I have never read and was very curious. Because it's listed as such, I don't think it's spoiling anything for anyone to mention that the human male gives birth and solves all the prince's troubles.
But, I was a little disappointed because the birth description was just a pain and a pop and the babies were born. DUDE! I read all of this because I wanted to know how that...went.
So, I felt a little cheated by the lack of description of the birth, a little grossed out by the monster porn and a little annoyed by the lack of proper editing. But I did laugh. I was pretty amused by the whole thing in spite of my pissy hang-ups and sort of enjoyed it.
This story has enough heartache and true love in it to make your heart feel like it will explode. Victor wants Mikey but Mikey job is to help Victor get a woman pregnant and get married to her to keep him from becoming a monster, Mikey was not planning on falling in love along the way. with a Witch tricking Victor, and Mikey making sure everyone finds out . Mikey and Victor will get their Happily Ever After.
This book is a great blend of the supernatural, intrigue, passion, romance, and the triumph of true love, and fortunately that cocktail makes for an entertaining read. There is just something about Artemis Wolfee's writing that has drawn me in and made me a fan of a subgenre which I scarcely knew existed prior to being introduced to his work. Now, I can't seem to put his books down.
With most reviews, even negative ones, I try my best to write something positive. Project Shifter made it very, very difficult to do that. There are just so many things wrong with this story and so few things right.
The convoluted plot centers around Prince Victor, a shifter, who is due to ascend the throne because his father is near death. He must marry soon and there are no suitable women in his country, never mind that he secretly prefers the unfairer sex. So Victor goes to America to find his queen and the plot is put into jeopardy when he is unable to control his shifting. Turns out he is a hansebeast and he must not marry and impregnate his wife before some weird and confusing time table.
Mikey Sean Sean, yes that’s his name, is a personal stylist dealing with his younger lover taking off with all this money. He’s in a bind and is thrilled when a friend calls him to help with Prince Victor.
First of all I believe wholeheartedly that this was originally written as an m/f story then re-written, badly, as an m/m. The first clue was when a grown man pouted and
burst into tears and threw myself onto the bed, and buried my face in one of my pillows.
I don’t see any adult, man or woman, doing such a thing, but it is the type of thing that women have traditionally done in het romances.
The other clue I had that this was first written as het came toward the end of the story when Mikey relays the story of what just happened to him to a cabbie, and the cabbie says
“Jeezus lady, that’s some story.”
And Mikey doesn’t correct him or even seem to notice it.
Mikey also makes certain utterances like:
“Fuck me with my Ferragamos and Feed me to the Dragon Queen.”
Some of the terms and facts in the story are just…bad. There are witches involved in the story and they mention things like a ‘batwitchma’ and they actually ride brooms!
The paranormal and magical elements of the story tend to be confusing. In the beginning Prince Victor’s sister has died but his father is too ill to attend so they call on a witch to help. She makes Victor appear like his father so the public thinks the king has attended the funeral. I guess no one cared the prince wasn’t there. And to make it worse the funeral isn’t even shown, nor is the magical transformation. It’s pure telling, not showing.
Two hours later, I walked out of my father’s chambers as the king. I attended the funeral and accepted condolences, and thanks to the power of the magic, not once did my inner feral wolf rear its dangerous head.
As night fell on that sad day, I returned once again to the king’s chambers. Gwendolyn gave us each a new potion to drink, and soon I was back in my own skin.
I wondered what the purpose of the whole thing was, mentioning a funeral but not showing it anyway. In fact I wondered why the deceased sister even existed. In the story she had been set to lead, but her death forced Victor to step up. Plotwise, there were other ways to make it necessary that Victor became king, such as…his father dying, which we deal with anyway.
Regarding the sex scene there were several moments I shook my head in dismay and rolled my eyes. At one point they use hair conditioner as lube which is just wrong. No, it doesn’t work. I wish every single author knew this, and I would never, ever have to see it again. Conditioner as lube is not wise. Major itchiness, people, as well as possible infections.
The verbiage in sex scenes tended to be repetitive:
He pressed against me, jostling his butt to help my cock find his back door. Still holding my cock in place I pressed into his ass, teasing him with the tip of my cock.
And there’s this bit of exposition in an ancient book of spells. The spells, by the way, usually rhyme, though this one doesn’t.
“Kiss his tree and make it grow, that’s how you cure the Hansebeast.”
The term ‘kiss his tree’ leads to a bit of monster porn where Mikey has to suck off Victor who has basically gone feral and can only get control with Mikey’s help. I suppose the scene was supposed to be sexy but I found it more stomach churning than erotic.
At his side, but still out of range from his deadly jaws I bent down from my waist and stretched both hands out until I found purchase on his cock. The Hansebeast let out a howl of what I hoped was pleasure, as I held onto and became familiar with his thick throbbing cock. In the dim light of the van it appeared almost blood red and purple.
And
Before I could scream, he mounted me, his twice the original size cock pushing into my ass.
Yes, Victor’s dick, already well-sized, became twice it’s original size and still managed to fit into a human’s orifice.
Okay, now I need to mention the worst part. That’s right, I haven’t gotten to the worst of it yet.
Victor needs to appear human so he can meet and seduce women and only having sex with Mikey can get that done. Mikey, having fallen in love with Victor, is reluctant to help him marry someone else, so he refuses. Victor, however, is so hell-bent on finding the right spouse that first he offers to pay Mikey to have sex with him, then threatens to rape him. Yes, rape, how very romantic. That’s true love, right there.
Mikey eventually comes around and agrees to sleep with Victor, for the right price. Again, how romantic is that?
Once Victor is fit as a fiddle and sexy as ever, he sets out to find the woman he is supposed to marry. How does he do that? By sleeping with several ladies. Whichever woman gets pregnant immediately will become the prince’s spouse.
To recap, Victor loves Mikey, Mikey loves Victor, but Victor is so dead set on not being stuck as a creature for the rest of his life that he will do whatever it takes to get that done; rape, sex with multiple partners, impregnating a woman and marrying her. Not my idea of true love. Rather disgusting actually, if you ask me.
Not even the HEA gave me any satisfaction. Victor doesn’t get married but it’s not because he comes to his senses, no, it’s something much more external.
This book even had problems with technical issues. There are frequent shifts in tenses. Most of the book is written in past tense, then certain passages such as this one appear.
As I watch helplessly, the gaggle of witches gather and the candles of the circle are lit one by one. My Aunt Sasha takes the lead and calls the four quarters.
Let’s not forget misused words (then vs. than) and misspelled words (Porta Pottis.)
And the blurb on Goodreads and Amazon? It doesn’t tell readers anything about the story. Maybe that’s the point because readers might see there’s nothing there.
This was an entertaining read. I don’t like cheating, so the having to mate 4 women thing didn’t sit well with me at all but I did enjoy the story. Mikey Sean Sean is a cute character and I was rooting for him to get his HEA. The story could have used better editing though. There were some errors that jumped out at me.
There sure was a lot of things going on in this story. I'm not a fan of witches, but this was interesting and unlike anything I've read before. I was VERY upset about the mating of the 4 women and poor Mikey having to sit there and listen to it, how very sad. Of course the story ends with a happy ending.
...was off but the story was good. There were a couple of loose ends that could have been tied up but I liked it. Mikey Sean Sean, a friend for life! I'd like to drop in on him and Victor from time to time, see how they're doing, maybe play with the children. Sequel to tie up the loose ends **hint hint**.
Awesome, sweet and sexy read all the way! Couldn't put it down till I had read the last page! I love Mikey and Victor, they're adorable. And this story is indeed boxer melting! Now I want a Teddy were for myself.
I love how magic makes everything make sense. Mike is quite a character. I enjoyed reading his reactions to everything. This story got my heart pumping.