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Hats & Eyeglasses: A Family Love Affair with Gambling
A memoir by a compulsive gambler recounts her coming-of-age in a family of hard-core gamblers, bookies, and drug dealers; her unexpected addiction to online poker in her forties; and the severe impact of her problem on her finances. 20,000 first printing.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published February 14, 2008
2 people are currently reading
235 people want to read
About the author
Martha Frankel
9 books61 followersHats & Eyeglasses: A Memoir is the story of my hilarious and totally cockamamie family, and how the gambling gene that I thought was dormant came out to bite me on the ass just at the moment I believed I had (finally) become an adult.
Hats & Eyeglasses has garnered some amazing reviews, including being called "Intimate and exuberant"-O, The Oprah Magazine, "Sparse and honest"- Associated Press, "[This] honest, funny betting memoir rises to the top" —USA Today, "Fast-paced and amazingly funny" —New Orleans Times-Picayune, "Hats & Eyeglasses is at once funny, disturbing and likely familiar to many who have lived in the grip of obsession"--- The Washington Post
BRAZILIAN SEXY: Secrets to Living a Gorgeous and Confident Life (co-written with Janea Padhila from the J Sisters Salon) is available now too
Everything you ever wanted to know about me, and more, is on my website
http://www.marthafrankel.com
Hats & Eyeglasses has garnered some amazing reviews, including being called "Intimate and exuberant"-O, The Oprah Magazine, "Sparse and honest"- Associated Press, "[This] honest, funny betting memoir rises to the top" —USA Today, "Fast-paced and amazingly funny" —New Orleans Times-Picayune, "Hats & Eyeglasses is at once funny, disturbing and likely familiar to many who have lived in the grip of obsession"--- The Washington Post
BRAZILIAN SEXY: Secrets to Living a Gorgeous and Confident Life (co-written with Janea Padhila from the J Sisters Salon) is available now too
Everything you ever wanted to know about me, and more, is on my website
http://www.marthafrankel.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
July 14, 2008
(Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com:]. I am the original author of this essay, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted here illegally.)
Of all the different types of literature I now read and review on a regular basis, easily none of them are more difficult to pull off than the personal memoir, for a variety of reasons I'll be going into later today; and that has me constantly reading on a regular basis a whole series of only so-so memoirs here at CCLaP, ones not necessarily badly-written but nonetheless containing a whole plethora of problems, and for which I never quite know what to say. Now add to this that so many memoirs are written not by full-time authors but rather people trying their hand at a full-length book for the first time, simply because they have a compelling story from their real life that they believe worthy of being told; that now compounds the problems facing me as the reviewer as well, and keeps me on my toes as far as what I have to say about it. As I've said here before, I don't like deliberately being mean in my reviews, but also feel that my main responsibility lies with the site's readers, and in letting them honestly know what I thought of a particular book; and this is complicated enough on its own, without adding something like the memoir genre, full of complicated factors for success that most authors mostly miss, no matter how good of writers they are.
And thus do we come to today's book under review, this year's Hats & Eyeglasses by former Details columnist and entertainment journalist Martha Frankel; as you've probably guessed by now, it is a personal memoir, supposedly detailing an intergenerational streak of gambling addiction that runs throughout her family. Or, at least that's the impression the publishing company wants you to have, judging from the various obvious clues they plant all over the cover -- it features a giant quote from Jim Berendt, after all, that starts with, "A bluntly honest memoir of gambling addiction," plus mentions on the inside dust-flap that it is "a tale of passion [and:] addiction," plus even features as cover-art the image of a card-player drowned in an endless dreary green sea, the body no longer even seen, just a sad floating hat and a perky Ace of Spades. But see, here's the thing -- it's not really about gambling addiction. In fact, given that the addiction part of the story isn't even referenced for the first time until three-quarters of the way through, you could argue that what the majority of this book is about is how freakin' great gambling is, and especially all the endless macho codification behind the card-game poker -- the endless made-up terms, the endless imported cigars, the endless black outfits and indoor sunglasses -- which needless to say will come as a bit of a shock to former and borderline gambling addicts, who were thinking they were picking up an inspirational tale about one particular addict bottoming out.
And this of course gets us into one of the first major problems with writing a personal memoir in the first place, which is -- what's the subject of your personal memoir? Contrary to what logic might tell us, it's actually much easier to put together, hone and perfect the storyline of a completely fictional project, because it comes with the natural limits we need to shape it into a great story; we think of the compelling thing first, then build just enough of the story around it to explore that compelling thing, with the story neatly over when we feel we're done exploring of that compelling thing. When you base a story on real life, though, you're suddenly referencing a compelling storyline that has been going on 30, 40, 50 years or more; and suddenly it becomes a lot more difficult to determine what exactly in that massive storyline should stay in your eventual book, what should go, what ties in to the central point you want to get across by writing the book in the first place, and what would simply not interest a general audience of complete strangers. If your story is about alcoholism, is it appropriate to mention that sip of beer you'd get from your uncle every Christmas when you were a kid? Is that a pointless detail to bring up, or key to understanding your entire experience? And what is the main point, anyway? Is it that your own adult choices led you to this place, or that your childhood influences guaranteed that you'd end up there no matter what you did?
In a fictional project, you can answer all these big questions first, then hang a plot around these big answers that nicely ties the entire thing together; with a memoir, however, you're having to go into a giant, messy, much bigger storyline, the storyline of a person's entire real life up to that moment, and carefully pluck out this narrative thread and underlying motivations that fuel all good literature. And this is part of why I say that memoirs are one of the trickiest types of books you can attempt to write, and why I'm always astounded that so many beginning writers choose this exact genre as their first projects. Because when all is said and done, Frankel's real life does not exactly fit the naturally compelling three-act structure that publishing companies are desperately seeking when signing books like this -- her story is more the one of someone who can generally handle gambling all right, who in fact enjoyed it in an in-control way for decades as long as it was restricted to physical get-togethers, who only developed addictive behavior when it moved to the online realm, who quickly recognized her addictive behavior and removed herself from it all before hitting the proverbial rock-bottom. And I can just picture a whole room of marketing experts over at Penguin sorta sighing when they heard this story, and saying, "Why, that's not James Frey Oprah Freaking Book Club material at all! Quick, get me John Berendt on the phone! Johnny baby, we need a quote about gambling addiction, asap! Hey you, Chip Kidd, get me a picture of a sad-looking ocean for the front cover, pronto! And Photoshop a playing card into it, damnit!"
And what makes this particular book doubly frustrating is that the real answer to it all is laying right there in front of all of them, and that no one involved with this book picked up on it; that the really compelling story is of why she loves physical poker get-togethers so much in the first place, of the way it psychologically frees Frankel for the first time in her life to act "like one of the guys," i.e. aggressive and creative and spontaneous and intelligent, or at least in her mind is how she's always pictured "male behavior." This is a naturally fascinating observation, I think -- that as long as the poker was mostly about the actual events, the opportunity to revel in the very traits she had always felt the need to repress as a female, the actual gambling itself was always very much under her control, with it never becoming an issue until discovering the world of 24-hour-a-day poker with virtual anonymous strangers from the comfort of her own couch while laying around in a bathrobe. At this point, Frankel admits, the poker unto itself became a very different thing in her mind, a falsely hyped pure competition done just for the sake of competition, even against anonymous strangers you'll never meet, a subconscious compulsion aided by overwhelming encouragement from an etheral "Other" (society, advertisements, peer pressure, etc) to just do so and not make waves. Or in other words, the exact behavior she was raised to believe that "proper women" exhibit in public.
That's a fascinating way to look at the issue, I think, a highly original concept that you could easily hang a whole book on; if I had been the editor of Hats & Eyeglasses, for example, I would've laid out the book in two halves, her physical-poker years and her online-poker ones, stressing more the emotional differences between the two activities and how they curiously and subconsciously fit perfectly the traditional gender roles the middle-aged Frankel has always felt in her life, not so much try to make it a traditional "gambling addict bottoms out" tale like the real publishing team at Penguin did here. And this of course gets to the heart of what I've been saying about memoirs being such a tricky genre to tackle; because when all is said and done, this story is certainly not badly-written in any way at all, contains an inherently interesting twist, and in general has all the other things a professor might check off on a list during a beginning writing course, as far as what a story should contain in order to be successful. It's just so tricky to get all those parts to line up when it's a personal memoir, and in so many cases precisely because it's a true story, and the author is so close to the events and cannot see them dispassionately. And that of course is another big reason why fiction is ironically much easier to actually write than personal memoirs, because we feel much more comfortable throwing away large chunks of stories when they're fictional, changing other large chunks. With true stories, many people get afraid or protective of the entire unedited narrative plotline; it's hard for them to remove big chunks without crying out, "But that's how it actually happened!" I've said it before and I'll say it again -- true stories do not necessarily make for good literature, which makes it even more baffling why so many beginning writers precisely choose them as their first full-length book projects.
Hats & Eyeglasses is a noble try, but unfortunately still kind of a mess, with a kernel of a unique story in there but a manuscript that sorta zig-zags sloppily back and forth across it. This is not necessarily...
Of all the different types of literature I now read and review on a regular basis, easily none of them are more difficult to pull off than the personal memoir, for a variety of reasons I'll be going into later today; and that has me constantly reading on a regular basis a whole series of only so-so memoirs here at CCLaP, ones not necessarily badly-written but nonetheless containing a whole plethora of problems, and for which I never quite know what to say. Now add to this that so many memoirs are written not by full-time authors but rather people trying their hand at a full-length book for the first time, simply because they have a compelling story from their real life that they believe worthy of being told; that now compounds the problems facing me as the reviewer as well, and keeps me on my toes as far as what I have to say about it. As I've said here before, I don't like deliberately being mean in my reviews, but also feel that my main responsibility lies with the site's readers, and in letting them honestly know what I thought of a particular book; and this is complicated enough on its own, without adding something like the memoir genre, full of complicated factors for success that most authors mostly miss, no matter how good of writers they are.
And thus do we come to today's book under review, this year's Hats & Eyeglasses by former Details columnist and entertainment journalist Martha Frankel; as you've probably guessed by now, it is a personal memoir, supposedly detailing an intergenerational streak of gambling addiction that runs throughout her family. Or, at least that's the impression the publishing company wants you to have, judging from the various obvious clues they plant all over the cover -- it features a giant quote from Jim Berendt, after all, that starts with, "A bluntly honest memoir of gambling addiction," plus mentions on the inside dust-flap that it is "a tale of passion [and:] addiction," plus even features as cover-art the image of a card-player drowned in an endless dreary green sea, the body no longer even seen, just a sad floating hat and a perky Ace of Spades. But see, here's the thing -- it's not really about gambling addiction. In fact, given that the addiction part of the story isn't even referenced for the first time until three-quarters of the way through, you could argue that what the majority of this book is about is how freakin' great gambling is, and especially all the endless macho codification behind the card-game poker -- the endless made-up terms, the endless imported cigars, the endless black outfits and indoor sunglasses -- which needless to say will come as a bit of a shock to former and borderline gambling addicts, who were thinking they were picking up an inspirational tale about one particular addict bottoming out.
And this of course gets us into one of the first major problems with writing a personal memoir in the first place, which is -- what's the subject of your personal memoir? Contrary to what logic might tell us, it's actually much easier to put together, hone and perfect the storyline of a completely fictional project, because it comes with the natural limits we need to shape it into a great story; we think of the compelling thing first, then build just enough of the story around it to explore that compelling thing, with the story neatly over when we feel we're done exploring of that compelling thing. When you base a story on real life, though, you're suddenly referencing a compelling storyline that has been going on 30, 40, 50 years or more; and suddenly it becomes a lot more difficult to determine what exactly in that massive storyline should stay in your eventual book, what should go, what ties in to the central point you want to get across by writing the book in the first place, and what would simply not interest a general audience of complete strangers. If your story is about alcoholism, is it appropriate to mention that sip of beer you'd get from your uncle every Christmas when you were a kid? Is that a pointless detail to bring up, or key to understanding your entire experience? And what is the main point, anyway? Is it that your own adult choices led you to this place, or that your childhood influences guaranteed that you'd end up there no matter what you did?
In a fictional project, you can answer all these big questions first, then hang a plot around these big answers that nicely ties the entire thing together; with a memoir, however, you're having to go into a giant, messy, much bigger storyline, the storyline of a person's entire real life up to that moment, and carefully pluck out this narrative thread and underlying motivations that fuel all good literature. And this is part of why I say that memoirs are one of the trickiest types of books you can attempt to write, and why I'm always astounded that so many beginning writers choose this exact genre as their first projects. Because when all is said and done, Frankel's real life does not exactly fit the naturally compelling three-act structure that publishing companies are desperately seeking when signing books like this -- her story is more the one of someone who can generally handle gambling all right, who in fact enjoyed it in an in-control way for decades as long as it was restricted to physical get-togethers, who only developed addictive behavior when it moved to the online realm, who quickly recognized her addictive behavior and removed herself from it all before hitting the proverbial rock-bottom. And I can just picture a whole room of marketing experts over at Penguin sorta sighing when they heard this story, and saying, "Why, that's not James Frey Oprah Freaking Book Club material at all! Quick, get me John Berendt on the phone! Johnny baby, we need a quote about gambling addiction, asap! Hey you, Chip Kidd, get me a picture of a sad-looking ocean for the front cover, pronto! And Photoshop a playing card into it, damnit!"
And what makes this particular book doubly frustrating is that the real answer to it all is laying right there in front of all of them, and that no one involved with this book picked up on it; that the really compelling story is of why she loves physical poker get-togethers so much in the first place, of the way it psychologically frees Frankel for the first time in her life to act "like one of the guys," i.e. aggressive and creative and spontaneous and intelligent, or at least in her mind is how she's always pictured "male behavior." This is a naturally fascinating observation, I think -- that as long as the poker was mostly about the actual events, the opportunity to revel in the very traits she had always felt the need to repress as a female, the actual gambling itself was always very much under her control, with it never becoming an issue until discovering the world of 24-hour-a-day poker with virtual anonymous strangers from the comfort of her own couch while laying around in a bathrobe. At this point, Frankel admits, the poker unto itself became a very different thing in her mind, a falsely hyped pure competition done just for the sake of competition, even against anonymous strangers you'll never meet, a subconscious compulsion aided by overwhelming encouragement from an etheral "Other" (society, advertisements, peer pressure, etc) to just do so and not make waves. Or in other words, the exact behavior she was raised to believe that "proper women" exhibit in public.
That's a fascinating way to look at the issue, I think, a highly original concept that you could easily hang a whole book on; if I had been the editor of Hats & Eyeglasses, for example, I would've laid out the book in two halves, her physical-poker years and her online-poker ones, stressing more the emotional differences between the two activities and how they curiously and subconsciously fit perfectly the traditional gender roles the middle-aged Frankel has always felt in her life, not so much try to make it a traditional "gambling addict bottoms out" tale like the real publishing team at Penguin did here. And this of course gets to the heart of what I've been saying about memoirs being such a tricky genre to tackle; because when all is said and done, this story is certainly not badly-written in any way at all, contains an inherently interesting twist, and in general has all the other things a professor might check off on a list during a beginning writing course, as far as what a story should contain in order to be successful. It's just so tricky to get all those parts to line up when it's a personal memoir, and in so many cases precisely because it's a true story, and the author is so close to the events and cannot see them dispassionately. And that of course is another big reason why fiction is ironically much easier to actually write than personal memoirs, because we feel much more comfortable throwing away large chunks of stories when they're fictional, changing other large chunks. With true stories, many people get afraid or protective of the entire unedited narrative plotline; it's hard for them to remove big chunks without crying out, "But that's how it actually happened!" I've said it before and I'll say it again -- true stories do not necessarily make for good literature, which makes it even more baffling why so many beginning writers precisely choose them as their first full-length book projects.
Hats & Eyeglasses is a noble try, but unfortunately still kind of a mess, with a kernel of a unique story in there but a manuscript that sorta zig-zags sloppily back and forth across it. This is not necessarily...
March 18, 2009
Martha Frankel has written an absorbing memoir which deals, among other things, with the problem of online gambling addiction which she faced. Martha is addicted to playing poker and is very very good but when she plays online she finds she is facing a new phenomenon - she loses! Not once, not twice but many times, and she can't stop herself trying to win back her money. This spiral of obsessive behaviour, lies and loss continues and is explored in great detail in her memoir. I found it a compulsive read and definitely a page-turner. But this book is not only about gambling, although Martha's family are lovers of the art of gambling; the book is also about a truly remarkable individual who overcomes many adversities and remains a good and loyal friend to the people she knows.
November 20, 2017
Martha learned about playing cards and gambling at the knees of her parents. Not surprisingly, she grew up to have a gambling addiction, but her biggest problem was on-line poker. I have often wondered about on-line gambling but never had the nerve to do it and after reading her memoir, I'm glad I never did it. She did it when on-line gambling was fairly new. It raises the question if these gambling sites are on the up and up because she actually did quite well at casinos but could never win on-line and as she lost more and more she became more desperate to win it back. This was an interesting memoir and a bit different, as we don't usually think of people starting their gambling careers as children, so there is some coming of age stuff here. A quick read, it moves along quickly
June 10, 2011
It's unusual for me to finish reading a book that isn't very good. After the first few chapters, I put it in the Goodwill pile and move on to something else. I stuck with this book for two reasons. It is very short (217 pages with large font) and the author is really really likable. She has led a very interesting life and this book partially scratches the surface of that, however, it is not deep enough to leave an impact. Though I am not in the slightest bit interested in poker or gambling in general I do enjoy reading about subcultures and there were a few insights here into the mind of a gambler who was born and raised in a family of gamblers. I didn't care for Frankel's style of writing. Sometimes I would have to turn a page back to make sure I didn't skip something. She seems to leave ideas unfinished, to jump around from subject to subject. For example there was one part where she described a large black man with a gun who was playing poker at a table with her. She wondered about whether he was dangerous and struck up a conversation with him. He started coming on to her. Then...she just moves on to another topic. Why even bring it up if nothing happened? She never did find out if he was dangerous...they didn't strike up a friendship. She just left the casino and her story continued elsewhere and totally disconnected from that man. Any way, although I would love to have a drink with Frankel and discuss all of the drugs she has tried, her sexual escapades, and all of her experiences interviewing celebrities I don't think I am interested in reading another book by her.
December 5, 2008
Hats and Eyeglasses is my favorite kind of memoir. It reads like a story, feels like fiction, but is rich with the choices, relationships, and obstacles that face us all in our own ways.
Frankel writes with sincerity. As she falls deeper and deeper into her other life she maintains an honest voice. She never blames her situation on anyone but herself, nor does she berate herself for it. She's a person whose vice is what it is and she deals with it and moves on.
I will recommend this memoir to everyone I know. Though I don't gamble, nor does anyone I know, Frankel's story is still a reminder we can all dig out of whatever hole we've made.
Frankel writes with sincerity. As she falls deeper and deeper into her other life she maintains an honest voice. She never blames her situation on anyone but herself, nor does she berate herself for it. She's a person whose vice is what it is and she deals with it and moves on.
I will recommend this memoir to everyone I know. Though I don't gamble, nor does anyone I know, Frankel's story is still a reminder we can all dig out of whatever hole we've made.
June 29, 2008
Hats & Eyeglasses is a wonderfully entertaining memoir, with a fabulous mix of colorfull characters. Martha Frankel is open and honest allowing us, as readers, an insight into many highly personal happenings in her life.
Beautifully written, by a sincere woman that excells in our craft of writing totally compelling, and moving stories.
Thank you Martha for writing a truly magnificent memoir.
Kind Regard's
Stuart - Beyond my Control
Beautifully written, by a sincere woman that excells in our craft of writing totally compelling, and moving stories.
Thank you Martha for writing a truly magnificent memoir.
Kind Regard's
Stuart - Beyond my Control
December 6, 2008
One thing I loved about this memoir is that it is so spare in one sense--Martha tells her story in a way that I would not be able to, meaning she doesn't throw in every detail about everyone she knows and everything she thought about along the way--but also very full. You still get a real sense of her life and her experiences. I also like how Martha is so honest. And so funny.
I'm the fourth person in my family to read this book, and the fourth person to love it!
I'm the fourth person in my family to read this book, and the fourth person to love it!
June 13, 2022
Fabulous book on addiction!
March 12, 2009
Hats and Eyeglasses is a memoir by Martha Frankel. Ms. Frankel shares her story about growing up with a family of obsessed gamblers. They played everything from her mother’s favorite mah-jongg to her father’s love of poker. Already at the young age of four, Martha was familiar with pretty much any game you could think of where gambling was involved. Her parents would throw big parties. Everyone would come over to eat and play games. To Martha the feel of the cards or the sound of poker chips hitting the table top was normal for her.
Have you ever heard the saying “All I got is Hats and Eyeglasses”? Well don’t worry, neither have I till now. Well one of the men that Martha’s father would play cards with Broadway explained that it means…”It’s what happens when a ship goes down and sinks, what floats to the top is hats and eyeglasses”. In other words it means you don’t have a prayer, you are that bad off. So remember this saying the next time you are playing cards with friends.
As Martha grew up she didn’t play much with cards. It wasn’t till she was conducting some research for a screenplay she was writing with a friend that she got bit by the gambling bug hard. Some friends of Martha’s, Ken and Barbie invited Martha to go with them on a cruise ship. They were dealers. Martha soon was up all hours of the day and into the night playing poker. Martha’s habit got worse when she discovered online poker. That was many years ago and Martha has since then learned to play in moderation.
I didn’t realize you could enjoy reading someone’s memoir so much till I read Hats and Eyeglasses. What a fun, light read. Martha is so down to earth. She invites you into her life with open arms and a warm heart. No wonder so many celebrities like hanging out with Ms. Frankel. I would be glad to call her my friend too. In a rapidly growing sea of memoirs, Hats and Eyeglasses is a must read. You will not be sorry you picked up this book. In fact you will be doing yourself a favor by reading this novel. I am recommending Hats and Eyeglasses to all my friends.
Have you ever heard the saying “All I got is Hats and Eyeglasses”? Well don’t worry, neither have I till now. Well one of the men that Martha’s father would play cards with Broadway explained that it means…”It’s what happens when a ship goes down and sinks, what floats to the top is hats and eyeglasses”. In other words it means you don’t have a prayer, you are that bad off. So remember this saying the next time you are playing cards with friends.
As Martha grew up she didn’t play much with cards. It wasn’t till she was conducting some research for a screenplay she was writing with a friend that she got bit by the gambling bug hard. Some friends of Martha’s, Ken and Barbie invited Martha to go with them on a cruise ship. They were dealers. Martha soon was up all hours of the day and into the night playing poker. Martha’s habit got worse when she discovered online poker. That was many years ago and Martha has since then learned to play in moderation.
I didn’t realize you could enjoy reading someone’s memoir so much till I read Hats and Eyeglasses. What a fun, light read. Martha is so down to earth. She invites you into her life with open arms and a warm heart. No wonder so many celebrities like hanging out with Ms. Frankel. I would be glad to call her my friend too. In a rapidly growing sea of memoirs, Hats and Eyeglasses is a must read. You will not be sorry you picked up this book. In fact you will be doing yourself a favor by reading this novel. I am recommending Hats and Eyeglasses to all my friends.
February 6, 2011
My interest in this book stemmed from the title, the cover, and the synopsison the inside dust cover. The subject matter of the book is gambling and the addiction to gambling.The title, "Hats and Eyeglasses" is a term t describe those times when you are losing so bad your ship is sinking, until all thats left on the surface are your hat and eyeglasses.
Martha Frankel tells how gambling was something her entire family did and thought little of it. Everyone gambled, and they gambled on anything from cards, horse racing, baseball games, football games, etc,. She tells how she, just being a bystander and watching what everyone was doing, she became very good at gambling, especially poker.
She started playing poker in a friendly Wednesday night game where she really learned the ins and outs of the game. She became so good that she started playing poker on her business trips, looking for a poker game anywhere she could find one. She the started playing Las Vegas and seemed to have everything under control. She was able to keep both her winnings and losses within an acceptable level.
Her trouble started when she found "on-line poker" and thought she could beat the system. She became so addicted that she was losing thousands of dollars on a monthly basis, and hiding this from her husband and family. She became so addicted that she told her friends not call her because, at that time, the call would knock her off her computer.
She tells of what it took for her to get her addiction under control and the tremendous increase in poker addiction over the last several years, with the increase of on-line games and the hype of high stakes poker games kon TV.
This book should be read by those who think they can win at on-line poker, or for that matter, and gaime of chance.
Martha Frankel tells how gambling was something her entire family did and thought little of it. Everyone gambled, and they gambled on anything from cards, horse racing, baseball games, football games, etc,. She tells how she, just being a bystander and watching what everyone was doing, she became very good at gambling, especially poker.
She started playing poker in a friendly Wednesday night game where she really learned the ins and outs of the game. She became so good that she started playing poker on her business trips, looking for a poker game anywhere she could find one. She the started playing Las Vegas and seemed to have everything under control. She was able to keep both her winnings and losses within an acceptable level.
Her trouble started when she found "on-line poker" and thought she could beat the system. She became so addicted that she was losing thousands of dollars on a monthly basis, and hiding this from her husband and family. She became so addicted that she told her friends not call her because, at that time, the call would knock her off her computer.
She tells of what it took for her to get her addiction under control and the tremendous increase in poker addiction over the last several years, with the increase of on-line games and the hype of high stakes poker games kon TV.
This book should be read by those who think they can win at on-line poker, or for that matter, and gaime of chance.
September 24, 2013
Martha Frankel’s novel about the joys of family and the perils and pleasures of gambling is brimming with abundant doses of wry humor, familial warmth and what it means to play card games with the boys. Ms. Frankel never lets us forget that she’s a woman with a woman’s sense of humor, sensuality, style and what it means to use a poker face or flirting to win at the gaming table. Her slide into gambling addiction is penned so gradually that it’s a little hard to pinpoint where it all goes badly wrong, although the astute reader can see it coming a mile away.
Her descent into near poverty and mania becomes increasingly harder to read. But she never lets it get too grim. Far more startling are her mentions of casual sex, rampant drug use and heavy drinking. To today’s abstemious generation (just say no), such revelations are a tad shocking. However, even here, the case that it’s all consensual, good clean fun robs these parts of her memoir of any sense of degradation. There was, indeed, a time when you could party all day, drink all night and come out none the worse for it—especially when you had your family along to cheer up and cheer on and join in the fun.
Her descent into near poverty and mania becomes increasingly harder to read. But she never lets it get too grim. Far more startling are her mentions of casual sex, rampant drug use and heavy drinking. To today’s abstemious generation (just say no), such revelations are a tad shocking. However, even here, the case that it’s all consensual, good clean fun robs these parts of her memoir of any sense of degradation. There was, indeed, a time when you could party all day, drink all night and come out none the worse for it—especially when you had your family along to cheer up and cheer on and join in the fun.
March 19, 2008
This book was not only totally moving, heartfelt, and funny, it was also written by a longtime family friend of mine, Martha Frankel, who I first met when I was about three or four years old. Martha is the coolest. I remember her coming to California for a visit during my mom awkward stage of adolescence and being so impressive to all my friends. She's hip, hilarious and knows tons of celebrities, and tells great stories about them.
Even though this book's subject matter is terrifying (imagine losing tens of thousands of dollars internet gambling in secret) I found this book so comforting because Martha's voice is as familiar and happy to me on the pages of the book as it is over email or in real life (on those rare chances I actually get to see her). I read it feeling like I was on a long road trip with Martha and she was telling me a long and fascinating story about her life.
I highly recommend this book!
Martha will also be at Joe's Pub this Sunday if you'd like to come out and meet her.
Even though this book's subject matter is terrifying (imagine losing tens of thousands of dollars internet gambling in secret) I found this book so comforting because Martha's voice is as familiar and happy to me on the pages of the book as it is over email or in real life (on those rare chances I actually get to see her). I read it feeling like I was on a long road trip with Martha and she was telling me a long and fascinating story about her life.
I highly recommend this book!
Martha will also be at Joe's Pub this Sunday if you'd like to come out and meet her.
Read
January 7, 2009Read the STOP SMILING interview with Hats & Eyeglasses author Martha Frankel:
(This interview originally appeared in the STOP SMILING Gambling Issue)
Martha Frankel knew, when interviewing a very young Leonardo DiCaprio, that the way to get him to open up would be to challenge him to a spitting contest. Frankel won — and got a great interview — because she has game.
She was raised on the laps of gamblers, chin-high to her mother’s smoky mahjongg board and her father’s wisecracking poker table. They ate “the usual” (bagel with a schmear), read the Yiddish papers and played. Her father, good with numbers, was “The Pencil,” and his idea of a bedtime lullaby was to have his little girl count backward by sevens. Frankel learned to read with the Daily Racing Forum, and her first kiss was at the Belmont Racetrack.
Read the interview...
(This interview originally appeared in the STOP SMILING Gambling Issue)
Martha Frankel knew, when interviewing a very young Leonardo DiCaprio, that the way to get him to open up would be to challenge him to a spitting contest. Frankel won — and got a great interview — because she has game.
She was raised on the laps of gamblers, chin-high to her mother’s smoky mahjongg board and her father’s wisecracking poker table. They ate “the usual” (bagel with a schmear), read the Yiddish papers and played. Her father, good with numbers, was “The Pencil,” and his idea of a bedtime lullaby was to have his little girl count backward by sevens. Frankel learned to read with the Daily Racing Forum, and her first kiss was at the Belmont Racetrack.
Read the interview...
August 10, 2016
I was shocked when I realized the age of this writer. The book reads as though written by someone very young, lacking wisdom of any kind. And the name dropping (OH, the name dropping!) is so gratuitous that it remains a major turnoff throughout (I could only make it to the halfway point.) You will never read a self-deprecating phrase - she is IN LOVE with herself. And that's great for her. But what makes a good memoir is honesty and grit. This lacks both.
Another thing: I LOVE writers like Mary Gaitskill and I look for REAL life in the books I read and I never shy away from harshness. There are some seriously vulgar moments in here that took me out of the story and, like the name-dropping, served little purpose other than shock value.
As much as I dislike this book I'm sure I'd like its author in person. She has a good sense of humor and spunk. I just think there was a better way to tell this story.
Another thing: I LOVE writers like Mary Gaitskill and I look for REAL life in the books I read and I never shy away from harshness. There are some seriously vulgar moments in here that took me out of the story and, like the name-dropping, served little purpose other than shock value.
As much as I dislike this book I'm sure I'd like its author in person. She has a good sense of humor and spunk. I just think there was a better way to tell this story.
July 5, 2008
This autobiography is about Ms. Frankel’s growing up in a family of gamblers, and then how she grows up and starts gambling too. Only it was odd because she wasn’t that into it until she was researching for a screenplay. She tries to learn all she can about poker so she can write about it for a character.
It was fascinating because once she really learned the game she did very well at the table. It was only when she started playing it online that her gambling became a problem.
The book was written very well. She can really tell a story, and you can picture it perfectly in your head as well as you wish you had been there too. It was funny, entertaining, and sometimes sad, but never was she, “oh poor pitiful ol’ me. You should feel sorry for me.” She’s her own worst critic and that was kind of refreshing.
It was fascinating because once she really learned the game she did very well at the table. It was only when she started playing it online that her gambling became a problem.
The book was written very well. She can really tell a story, and you can picture it perfectly in your head as well as you wish you had been there too. It was funny, entertaining, and sometimes sad, but never was she, “oh poor pitiful ol’ me. You should feel sorry for me.” She’s her own worst critic and that was kind of refreshing.
November 23, 2013
Martha Frankel grew up in a home where the moms played Mahjongg in the kitchen and the dads played poker at the dining room table. Her dad took her to the track. Mom was a bookkeeper, but Frankel got confused and pegged her a bookie. Gambling was part of weave and fabric of her family.
A professional writer, she started researching a screenplay by learning to play a social game of poker. Poker cruises, casinos and card rooms followed. And she was good! Until she discovered an early version of online gaming, and a sour and frightening addiction.
The book is filled with good humor, including several opportunities to laugh with glee and nod in recognition. Hey! Her family is like my family is like your family. But they have a gambling way. It's a quick read that offers light insight and a satisfying conclusion.
A professional writer, she started researching a screenplay by learning to play a social game of poker. Poker cruises, casinos and card rooms followed. And she was good! Until she discovered an early version of online gaming, and a sour and frightening addiction.
The book is filled with good humor, including several opportunities to laugh with glee and nod in recognition. Hey! Her family is like my family is like your family. But they have a gambling way. It's a quick read that offers light insight and a satisfying conclusion.
September 9, 2012
Picked the book up Saturday morning and put it down Saturday afternoon -- a very quick read. The author talks about how gambling was a constant in her life, from childhood on. She obessed with poker and still plays a weekly game. But she does not think that obession was/is addiction. Rather her gambling addiction was to online poker. She was a habitual winner at the poker table where she could see the other players but when online, in the early years of online poker, she lost big time and kept trying to make it back. For about two years she could not stop, but finally managed it.
This seems an atypical addiction story. To me, the difference between her obsession with poker and addiction with I-poker is small, but it may be real.
This seems an atypical addiction story. To me, the difference between her obsession with poker and addiction with I-poker is small, but it may be real.
July 16, 2010
Is reads like the first half of a gamblers anonymous lead. All about where she was and how she got there. It's got some celebrity name dropping which kind of makes it send the message "I couldn't have been addicted to online gambli ng. I know celebrities.". And then she's better. Little discussion of what that process felt like- I was a annoyed that I spent money on this. On one good note I enjoyed her writing style and it was a quick read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 3, 2009
Read this memoir! I loved it immediately, and couldn't put it down. Martha speaks from her heart, and gets straight into ours. She welcomes us into her world, and we feel like we are laughing, crying, and anteing up right along side her. Her family is as mesmerizing as her story, and I was captivated equally by both..
June 10, 2009
I've been on a memoir kick lately and this is one of the better ones I've read. Frankel's candor and wit lend an authentic feel to the book in a way that makes her story compelling. She engages the reader with a mix of humor, honesty, warmth and nostalgia.
This was a quick and fun read for me. If you're looking for a light read for the summer that isn't fluff, this is the book for you.
This was a quick and fun read for me. If you're looking for a light read for the summer that isn't fluff, this is the book for you.
June 19, 2009
Who knew that a nice, middle class woman who played a little poker could become an online gambling addict? This is a powerful memoir about addiction, trust and honesty. It's also funny, moving and informative.....another great summer book by a friend!
January 7, 2009
I thouroughly loved reading the stories of the author's travels "down the rabbit hole" of her gambling addiction. We should all have so much fun on our difficult trips in life, or at least see it as that much fun along the way. Good job.
March 4, 2009
This book was one of my favorites. It was a very enticing and actually easy to read aloud. (On road trips, I read aloud as my husband drives!)It was very funny and although contained more language that I prefer it was altogether excellent!
June 12, 2012
This is a great read, very intimate and easy to access, as if the author is sitting across from you in the living room talking about her life while sharing a bottle of wine or a pot of tea. I heard her on npr and went right out to get the book. You should too.
July 16, 2009
I only have about 50 pages left and just picked it up yesterday afternoon. this book is fantastic - compelling, funny, touching, well written -- it's got it all. A perfect summer pool side read - preferably poolside in vegas!
June 28, 2010
Martha Frankel is a celebrity writer and could no doubt write a better book about her career. Instead, this is a book about poker and her addiction to it. It was a good read, not great. Once again, I'd give this book 3.5 stars if the application allowed.
May 12, 2011
Entertaining read about a woman who grows up in a gambling family and then finds herself drawn into the world of poker, eventually leading her to online poker. I liked Ms. Frankel's witty and honest style of writing and the book was a fast read.
January 20, 2008
not impressed
May 21, 2008
Laughed a lot and generally loved this book, not just because the author is my friend! Whether you know anything about gambling/cards or not, you will enjoy this quick read.
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April 29, 2009The thing I didn't get was why she didn't go back to normal poker and continue winning money. I guess internet poker was another thing to master.
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