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The Octopus Marooned
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About the author
O. Henry
2,919 books1,891 followersSuch volumes as
Cabbages and Kings
(1904) and
The Four Million
(1906) collect short stories, noted for their often surprising endings, of American writer William Sydney Porter, who used the pen name O. Henry.
His biography shows where he found inspiration for his characters. His era produced their voices and his language.
Mother of three-year-old Porter died from tuberculosis. He left school at fifteen years of age and worked for five years in drugstore of his uncle and then for two years at a Texas sheep ranch.
In 1884, he went to Austin, where he worked in a real estate office and a church choir and spent four years as a draftsman in the general land office. His wife and firstborn died, but daughter Margaret survived him.
He failed to establish a small humorous weekly and afterward worked in poorly-run bank. When its accounts balanced not, people blamed and fired him.
In Houston, he worked for a few years until, ordered to stand trial for embezzlement, he fled to New Orleans and thence Honduras.
Two years later, he returned on account of illness of his wife. Apprehended, Porter served a few months more than three years in a penitentiary in Columbus, Ohio. During his incarceration, he composed ten short stories, including A Blackjack Bargainer , The Enchanted Kiss , and The Duplicity of Hargraves .
In 1899, McClure's published Whistling Dick's Christmas Story and Georgia's Ruling .
In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he sent manuscripts to New York editors. In the spring of 1902, Ainslee's Magazine offered him a regular income if he moved to New York.
In less than eight years, he became a bestselling author of collections of short stories. Cabbages and Kings came first in 1904 The Four Million, and The Trimmed Lamp and Heart of the West followed in 1907, and The Voice of the City in 1908, Roads of Destiny and Options in 1909, Strictly Business and Whirligigs in 1910 followed.
Posthumously published collections include The Gentle Grafter about the swindler, Jeff Peters; Rolling Stones , Waifs and Strays , and in 1936, unsigned stories, followed.
People rewarded other persons financially more. A Retrieved Reformation about the safe-cracker Jimmy Valentine got $250; six years later, $500 for dramatic rights, which gave over $100,000 royalties for playwright Paul Armstrong. Many stories have been made into films.
His biography shows where he found inspiration for his characters. His era produced their voices and his language.
Mother of three-year-old Porter died from tuberculosis. He left school at fifteen years of age and worked for five years in drugstore of his uncle and then for two years at a Texas sheep ranch.
In 1884, he went to Austin, where he worked in a real estate office and a church choir and spent four years as a draftsman in the general land office. His wife and firstborn died, but daughter Margaret survived him.
He failed to establish a small humorous weekly and afterward worked in poorly-run bank. When its accounts balanced not, people blamed and fired him.
In Houston, he worked for a few years until, ordered to stand trial for embezzlement, he fled to New Orleans and thence Honduras.
Two years later, he returned on account of illness of his wife. Apprehended, Porter served a few months more than three years in a penitentiary in Columbus, Ohio. During his incarceration, he composed ten short stories, including A Blackjack Bargainer , The Enchanted Kiss , and The Duplicity of Hargraves .
In 1899, McClure's published Whistling Dick's Christmas Story and Georgia's Ruling .
In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, he sent manuscripts to New York editors. In the spring of 1902, Ainslee's Magazine offered him a regular income if he moved to New York.
In less than eight years, he became a bestselling author of collections of short stories. Cabbages and Kings came first in 1904 The Four Million, and The Trimmed Lamp and Heart of the West followed in 1907, and The Voice of the City in 1908, Roads of Destiny and Options in 1909, Strictly Business and Whirligigs in 1910 followed.
Posthumously published collections include The Gentle Grafter about the swindler, Jeff Peters; Rolling Stones , Waifs and Strays , and in 1936, unsigned stories, followed.
People rewarded other persons financially more. A Retrieved Reformation about the safe-cracker Jimmy Valentine got $250; six years later, $500 for dramatic rights, which gave over $100,000 royalties for playwright Paul Armstrong. Many stories have been made into films.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 28, 2025
The Octopus Marooned by O’Henry
Hilarious- 10 out of 10
The author O’Henry is extremely funny.
And this is obvious as soon as you start reading one of his stories.
The humor may be dry at times, or dark but I find it fantastic-
Take this Octopus and the first lines:
- "A trust is its weakest point," said Jeff Peters.
"That," said I, "sounds like one of those unintelligible remarks such
as, 'Why is a policeman?'"
"It is not," said Jeff. "There are no relations between a trust and a
policeman.”
And the continuation is much along the same lines
- Trust is like an egg, and it is not like an egg”
At times, the humor is accidental and due to the way things change with the passing of time, which creates some absurd humor.
When O’Henry writes about a republican as candidate for the position of governor of Texas made me smile.
There can be no Democrat governor of Texas today and in fact Rick Perry, the former governor of the state is running for president
Again.
George Bush junior, before winning the highest political office available in the world has been governor of the same state.
And a Republican.
Though negative, a character can make you laugh
„Whenever he saw a dollar in another man's hands he took it as a
personal grudge, if he couldn't take it any other way.”
The main personages of this short story – Jeff and Andy travel to a little town in the Lone Star State, called Bird City.
As an irony, the small town suffers from flooding, which is what happens in Texas right now and is an unusual occurrence.
Andy has the idea of a swindle, whereby they bought all three saloons in the place where
„There was about 1,500 grown-up adults in Bird City that had arrived
at years of indiscretion; and the majority of 'em required from three
to twenty drinks a day to make life endurable”
And since every drink was one dollar- a huge sum at that moment- this was a fortune waiting to be taken.
'Jeff,' says he, 'I don't suppose that anywhere in the world you
could find three cormorants with brighter ideas about down-treading
the proletariat than the firm of Peters, Satan and Tucker,
incorporated. We have sure handed the small consumer a giant blow in
the sole apoplectic region. No?'
But then something happens that derails somewhat the initial project for
„There are two times when
you never can tell what is going to happen. One is when a man takes
his first drink; and the other is when a woman takes her latest.”
In an extraordinary twist of the plot, Andy has to talk when he is drunk and keeps a speech in front of a large audience.
All the people of Bird City go to listen to Andy, instead of buying one dollar drinks in the afternoon that has a totally unexpected and hilarious ending.
You can read this online at
http://www.literaturecollection.com/a...
Hilarious- 10 out of 10
The author O’Henry is extremely funny.
And this is obvious as soon as you start reading one of his stories.
The humor may be dry at times, or dark but I find it fantastic-
Take this Octopus and the first lines:
- "A trust is its weakest point," said Jeff Peters.
"That," said I, "sounds like one of those unintelligible remarks such
as, 'Why is a policeman?'"
"It is not," said Jeff. "There are no relations between a trust and a
policeman.”
And the continuation is much along the same lines
- Trust is like an egg, and it is not like an egg”
At times, the humor is accidental and due to the way things change with the passing of time, which creates some absurd humor.
When O’Henry writes about a republican as candidate for the position of governor of Texas made me smile.
There can be no Democrat governor of Texas today and in fact Rick Perry, the former governor of the state is running for president
Again.
George Bush junior, before winning the highest political office available in the world has been governor of the same state.
And a Republican.
Though negative, a character can make you laugh
„Whenever he saw a dollar in another man's hands he took it as a
personal grudge, if he couldn't take it any other way.”
The main personages of this short story – Jeff and Andy travel to a little town in the Lone Star State, called Bird City.
As an irony, the small town suffers from flooding, which is what happens in Texas right now and is an unusual occurrence.
Andy has the idea of a swindle, whereby they bought all three saloons in the place where
„There was about 1,500 grown-up adults in Bird City that had arrived
at years of indiscretion; and the majority of 'em required from three
to twenty drinks a day to make life endurable”
And since every drink was one dollar- a huge sum at that moment- this was a fortune waiting to be taken.
'Jeff,' says he, 'I don't suppose that anywhere in the world you
could find three cormorants with brighter ideas about down-treading
the proletariat than the firm of Peters, Satan and Tucker,
incorporated. We have sure handed the small consumer a giant blow in
the sole apoplectic region. No?'
But then something happens that derails somewhat the initial project for
„There are two times when
you never can tell what is going to happen. One is when a man takes
his first drink; and the other is when a woman takes her latest.”
In an extraordinary twist of the plot, Andy has to talk when he is drunk and keeps a speech in front of a large audience.
All the people of Bird City go to listen to Andy, instead of buying one dollar drinks in the afternoon that has a totally unexpected and hilarious ending.
You can read this online at
http://www.literaturecollection.com/a...
December 21, 2025
O. Henry’s “The Gentler Grafter” series starts with the short story “The Octopus Marooned” is about Jeff Peters and his friend Andy Tucker who had done business together but this time they found out they out did themselves with cornering the saloon business in Bird City.
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌spoiler alert
Andy in wanting to gather up the townsmen for a speech which ends up drying up the bar because his on temperance.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2281
“You remember I told you that me and Andy Tucker was partners for some years. That man was the
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2281
most talented conniver at stratagems I ever saw. Whenever he saw a dollar in another man’s hands he
took it as a personal grudge, if he couldn’t take it any other way. Andy was educated, too, besides having
a lot of useful information. He had acquired a big amount of experience out of books, and could talk for
hours on any subject connected with ideas and discourse.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2281
“Now, there were three saloons in Bird City, though neither Andy nor me drank. But we could see the
townspeople making a triangular procession from one to another all day and half the night. Everybody
seemed to know what to do with as much money as they had. “The third day of the rain it slacked up
awhile in the afternoon,
Page 2282
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2282
so me and Andy walked out to the edge of town to view the mudscape. Bird City was built between the
Rio Grande and a deep wide arroyo that used to be the old bed of the river. The bank between the stream
and its old bed was cracking and giving away, when we saw it, on account of the high water caused by
the rain. Andy looks at it a long time. That man’s intellects was never idle. And then he unfolds to me a
instantaneous idea that has occurred to him. Right there was organized a trust;
1
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2282
and we walked back into town and put it on the market. “First we went to the main saloon in Bird City,
called the Blue Snake, and bought it. It cost us $1,200. And then we dropped in, casual, at Mexican Joe’s
place, referred to the rain, and bought him out for $500. The other one came easy at $400. “The next
morning Bird City woke up and found itself an island. The river had busted through its old channel, and
the town was surrounded by roaring torrents. The rain was still raining, and there was
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2282
heavy clouds in the northwest that presaged about six more mean annual rainfalls during the next two
weeks. But the worst was yet to come.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2282
“Behind one end of the bar sits Jefferson Peters, octopus, with a sixshooter on each side of him, ready to
make change or corpses as the case may be. There are three bartenders; and on the wall is a ten foot sign
reading: ‘All Drinks One Dollar.’ Andy sits on the safe in his neat blue suit and gold-banded cigar, on the
lookout for emergencies. The town marshal is there with two deputies to keep order, having been
promised free drinks by the trust. “Well, sir, it took Bird City just ten minutes to realize that it was in a
Page 2283
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2283
cage. We expected trouble; but there wasn’t any. The citizens saw that we had ’em. The nearest railroad
was thirty miles away; and it would be two weeks at least before the river would be fordable. So they
began to cuss, amiable, and throw down dollars on the bar till it sounded like a selection on the
xylophone. “There was about 1,500 grown-up adults in Bird City that had arrived at years of
indiscretion; and the majority of ’em required from three to twenty drinks a day to make life endurable.
The Blue Snake was
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2283
the only place where they could get ’em till the flood subsided. It was beautiful and simple as all truly
great swindles are. “About ten o’clock the silver dollars dropping on the bar slowed down to playing two-
steps and marches instead of jigs. But I looked out the window and saw a hundred or two of our
customers standing in line at Bird City Savings and Loan Co., and I knew they were borrowing more
money to be sucked in by the clammy tendrils of the octopus.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2283
“At the fashionable hour of noon everybody went home to dinner. We told the bartenders to take
advantage of the lull, and do the same. Then me and Andy counted the receipts. We had taken in $1,300.
We calculated that if Bird City would only remain an island for two weeks the trust would be able to
endow the Chicago University with a new dormitory of padded cells for the faculty, and present every
worthy poor man in Texas with a farm, provided he furnished the site for it.
2
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2283
“Andy was especial inroaded by self-esteem at our success, the rudiments of the scheme having
originated in his own surmises and premonitions. He got off the safe and lit the biggest cigar in the
house.
Page 2285
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2285
“Andy pours himself out four fingers of our best rye and does with it as was so intended. It was the first
drink I had ever known him to take. “‘By way of liberation,’ says he, ‘to the gods.’ “And then after thus
doing umbrage to the heathen diabetes he drinks another to our success. And then he begins to toast the
trade, beginning with Raisuli and the Northern Pacific, and on down the line to the little ones like the
school
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2285
book combine and the oleomargarine outrages and the Lehigh Valley and Great Scott Coal Federation.
“‘It’s all right, Andy,’ says I, ‘to drink the health of our brother monopolists, but don’t overdo the
wassail. You know our most eminent and loathed multi-corruptionists live on weak tea and dog
biscuits.’ “Andy went in the back room awhile and came out dressed in his best clothes. There was a kind
of murderous and soulful look of gentle riotousness in his eye that I
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2285
didn’t like. I watched him to see what turn the whiskey was going to take in him. There are two times
when you never can tell what is going to happen. One is when a man takes his first drink; and the other
is when a woman takes her latest.
Page 2287
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2287
Well, Andy,’ says I, ‘if you are bound to get rid of this accumulation of vernacular suppose you go out in
town and work it on some indulgent citizen. Me and the boys will
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2287
take care of the business. Everybody will be through dinner pretty soon, and salt pork and beans makes
a man pretty thirsty. We ought to take in $1,500 more by midnight.’ “So Andy goes out of the Blue
Snake, and I see him stopping men on the street and talking to ’em. By and by he has half a dozen in a
bunch listening to him; and pretty soon I see him waving his arms and elocuting at a good-sized crowd
on a corner. When he walks away they string out after him, talking all the time; and he leads ’em down
the
3
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2287
main street of Bird City with more men joining the procession as they go. It reminded me of the old
legerdemain that I’d read in books about the Pied Piper of Heidsieck charming the children away from
the town.
Page 2288
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2288
“One o’clock came; and then two; and three got under the wire for place; and not a Bird citizen came in
for a drink. The streets were deserted except for some ducks and ladies going to the stores. There was
only a light drizzle falling then. “A lonesome man came along and stopped in front of the Blue Snake to
scrape the mud off his boots. “‘Pardner,’ says I, ‘what has happened? This morning there was hectic
gaiety afoot; and now it seems
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2288
more like one of them ruined cities of Tyre and Siphon where the lone lizard crawls on the walls of the
main port-cullis.’ “‘The whole town,’ says the muddy man, ‘is up in Sperry’s wool warehouse listening to
your side-kicker make a speech. He is some gravy on delivering himself of audible sounds relating to
matters and conclusions,’ says the man. “‘Well, I hope he’ll adjourn, sine qua non, pretty soon,’ says I,
‘for trade languishes.’
Page 2289
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2289
“Not a customer did we have that afternoon. At six o’clock two Mexicans brought Andy to the saloon
lying across the back of a burro. We put him in bed while he still muttered and gesticulated with his
hands and feet. “Then I locked up the cash and went out to see what had happened. I met a man who told
me all about it. Andy had made the finest two hour speech that had ever been heard in Texas, he said, or
anywhere else in the world. “‘What was it about?’ I asked.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2289
“‘Temperance,’ says he. ‘And when he got through, every man in Bird City signed the pledge for a year.’”
❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌spoiler alert
Andy in wanting to gather up the townsmen for a speech which ends up drying up the bar because his on temperance.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2281
“You remember I told you that me and Andy Tucker was partners for some years. That man was the
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2281
most talented conniver at stratagems I ever saw. Whenever he saw a dollar in another man’s hands he
took it as a personal grudge, if he couldn’t take it any other way. Andy was educated, too, besides having
a lot of useful information. He had acquired a big amount of experience out of books, and could talk for
hours on any subject connected with ideas and discourse.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2281
“Now, there were three saloons in Bird City, though neither Andy nor me drank. But we could see the
townspeople making a triangular procession from one to another all day and half the night. Everybody
seemed to know what to do with as much money as they had. “The third day of the rain it slacked up
awhile in the afternoon,
Page 2282
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2282
so me and Andy walked out to the edge of town to view the mudscape. Bird City was built between the
Rio Grande and a deep wide arroyo that used to be the old bed of the river. The bank between the stream
and its old bed was cracking and giving away, when we saw it, on account of the high water caused by
the rain. Andy looks at it a long time. That man’s intellects was never idle. And then he unfolds to me a
instantaneous idea that has occurred to him. Right there was organized a trust;
1
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2282
and we walked back into town and put it on the market. “First we went to the main saloon in Bird City,
called the Blue Snake, and bought it. It cost us $1,200. And then we dropped in, casual, at Mexican Joe’s
place, referred to the rain, and bought him out for $500. The other one came easy at $400. “The next
morning Bird City woke up and found itself an island. The river had busted through its old channel, and
the town was surrounded by roaring torrents. The rain was still raining, and there was
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2282
heavy clouds in the northwest that presaged about six more mean annual rainfalls during the next two
weeks. But the worst was yet to come.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2282
“Behind one end of the bar sits Jefferson Peters, octopus, with a sixshooter on each side of him, ready to
make change or corpses as the case may be. There are three bartenders; and on the wall is a ten foot sign
reading: ‘All Drinks One Dollar.’ Andy sits on the safe in his neat blue suit and gold-banded cigar, on the
lookout for emergencies. The town marshal is there with two deputies to keep order, having been
promised free drinks by the trust. “Well, sir, it took Bird City just ten minutes to realize that it was in a
Page 2283
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2283
cage. We expected trouble; but there wasn’t any. The citizens saw that we had ’em. The nearest railroad
was thirty miles away; and it would be two weeks at least before the river would be fordable. So they
began to cuss, amiable, and throw down dollars on the bar till it sounded like a selection on the
xylophone. “There was about 1,500 grown-up adults in Bird City that had arrived at years of
indiscretion; and the majority of ’em required from three to twenty drinks a day to make life endurable.
The Blue Snake was
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2283
the only place where they could get ’em till the flood subsided. It was beautiful and simple as all truly
great swindles are. “About ten o’clock the silver dollars dropping on the bar slowed down to playing two-
steps and marches instead of jigs. But I looked out the window and saw a hundred or two of our
customers standing in line at Bird City Savings and Loan Co., and I knew they were borrowing more
money to be sucked in by the clammy tendrils of the octopus.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2283
“At the fashionable hour of noon everybody went home to dinner. We told the bartenders to take
advantage of the lull, and do the same. Then me and Andy counted the receipts. We had taken in $1,300.
We calculated that if Bird City would only remain an island for two weeks the trust would be able to
endow the Chicago University with a new dormitory of padded cells for the faculty, and present every
worthy poor man in Texas with a farm, provided he furnished the site for it.
2
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2283
“Andy was especial inroaded by self-esteem at our success, the rudiments of the scheme having
originated in his own surmises and premonitions. He got off the safe and lit the biggest cigar in the
house.
Page 2285
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2285
“Andy pours himself out four fingers of our best rye and does with it as was so intended. It was the first
drink I had ever known him to take. “‘By way of liberation,’ says he, ‘to the gods.’ “And then after thus
doing umbrage to the heathen diabetes he drinks another to our success. And then he begins to toast the
trade, beginning with Raisuli and the Northern Pacific, and on down the line to the little ones like the
school
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2285
book combine and the oleomargarine outrages and the Lehigh Valley and Great Scott Coal Federation.
“‘It’s all right, Andy,’ says I, ‘to drink the health of our brother monopolists, but don’t overdo the
wassail. You know our most eminent and loathed multi-corruptionists live on weak tea and dog
biscuits.’ “Andy went in the back room awhile and came out dressed in his best clothes. There was a kind
of murderous and soulful look of gentle riotousness in his eye that I
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2285
didn’t like. I watched him to see what turn the whiskey was going to take in him. There are two times
when you never can tell what is going to happen. One is when a man takes his first drink; and the other
is when a woman takes her latest.
Page 2287
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2287
Well, Andy,’ says I, ‘if you are bound to get rid of this accumulation of vernacular suppose you go out in
town and work it on some indulgent citizen. Me and the boys will
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2287
take care of the business. Everybody will be through dinner pretty soon, and salt pork and beans makes
a man pretty thirsty. We ought to take in $1,500 more by midnight.’ “So Andy goes out of the Blue
Snake, and I see him stopping men on the street and talking to ’em. By and by he has half a dozen in a
bunch listening to him; and pretty soon I see him waving his arms and elocuting at a good-sized crowd
on a corner. When he walks away they string out after him, talking all the time; and he leads ’em down
the
3
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2287
main street of Bird City with more men joining the procession as they go. It reminded me of the old
legerdemain that I’d read in books about the Pied Piper of Heidsieck charming the children away from
the town.
Page 2288
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2288
“One o’clock came; and then two; and three got under the wire for place; and not a Bird citizen came in
for a drink. The streets were deserted except for some ducks and ladies going to the stores. There was
only a light drizzle falling then. “A lonesome man came along and stopped in front of the Blue Snake to
scrape the mud off his boots. “‘Pardner,’ says I, ‘what has happened? This morning there was hectic
gaiety afoot; and now it seems
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2288
more like one of them ruined cities of Tyre and Siphon where the lone lizard crawls on the walls of the
main port-cullis.’ “‘The whole town,’ says the muddy man, ‘is up in Sperry’s wool warehouse listening to
your side-kicker make a speech. He is some gravy on delivering himself of audible sounds relating to
matters and conclusions,’ says the man. “‘Well, I hope he’ll adjourn, sine qua non, pretty soon,’ says I,
‘for trade languishes.’
Page 2289
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2289
“Not a customer did we have that afternoon. At six o’clock two Mexicans brought Andy to the saloon
lying across the back of a burro. We put him in bed while he still muttered and gesticulated with his
hands and feet. “Then I locked up the cash and went out to see what had happened. I met a man who told
me all about it. Andy had made the finest two hour speech that had ever been heard in Texas, he said, or
anywhere else in the world. “‘What was it about?’ I asked.
Highlight (Yellow) | Page 2289
“‘Temperance,’ says he. ‘And when he got through, every man in Bird City signed the pledge for a year.’”
June 1, 2024
Another tale featuring the hijinks of Jeff Peters and Andy Tucker. I'm really liking O. Henry's pair of n'er-do-wells. Here, the two decide to stop in a small town during a rainstorm. Andy notices something and the two decide to take their advantage in a clever scheme. Of course that scheme gets derailed- but not in a way I saw coming! Absolutely hilarious!
April 2, 2021
2 1/2 stars. Not my favorite O. Henry's story, some of the dialogue seemed stilted but it has a nice twist at the end.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews