A Widow's Guide to Healing: Support and Strategies for Widows Navigating Grief

by Kristin Meekhof L.M.S.W., James Windell M.A.

When Kristin Meekhof lost her husband to cancer, she discovered what all widows learn: the moment you experience the death of a spouse, you must make crucial decisions that will impact the rest of your life. But where do you begin when your world is suddenly turned upside down? This inspiring book on widowhood shows grieving widows what to expect in those difficult first five years, and how to deal with the challenges of expectantly losing a life partner, including: With Meekhof's firsthand experience and gentle understanding, this healing after loss book goes beyond shining a comforting candle in the darkness of loss. It encourages those left behind to tackle the tumultuous and painful first five years and move to a more hopeful future. "A very valuable and practical guide for any woman who has lost her husband due to an untimely death. Kristin Meekhof's journey is both inspiring and courageous and something we can all learn from." —Dr. Deepak Chopra "I'm proud of Kristin Meekhof, who has written this inspiring and insightful book to help guide widows through their grief. This book is by an Architect of Change, for all of us who must deal with grief." — Maria Shriver

Genres: Nonfiction, Grief, Self Help

256 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2015

Reviews

[Katherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book not because I am a widow or have an interest in the subject, but because I know the author and enjoy her Huffington blog posts. I never would have guessed I’d take so much away from my reading. Meekhof gently guides her audience through issues I hadn’t even considered. Topics include advice for coping with the emotional and psychological effects of losing a partner, of course, but also about when to remove your partner’s name from your bank account (there are legal and financial consequences to doing this too soon or waiting too long), what to do about their social media accounts, and what to expect from your partner’s family in the years after his or her passing. This advice comes from Meekhof, a social worker (MSW) and widow herself, but also from widows from all over the country and from all walks of life. The diversity of widows interviewed should mean that readers find something that they recognize from their own experience—there are widows mourning the loss of their one true love and others coming to grips with the realization that their marriage was unhealthy, widows who had to search for usernames and passwords to access financial accounts their partner always handled and others whose primary focus had to be day-to-day scraping by in order to survive financially, just to name a few examples. The writing style is conversational, and I feel like this would be a huge benefit for readers grappling with loss and perhaps not in a place where they can concentrate on heavy reading. If I found myself a new widow, I hope that someone would share this book with me. Meekhof performed a great service by making this available.

[Angelique · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a widow for 19 months, I found this book very helpful. I wish I knew about it earlier. Adding it to my resources for sharing with others.

[Hilary · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent resource for anyone who has lost a spouse. It is inspiring, compassionate and offers helpful suggestions about the grieving process. The authors feature practical guidance regarding navigating funeral plans, wills, probate, social security and financial issues. It is essential knowledge when one is most vulnerable. I highly recommend this valuable book.

[Marilyn Upright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had this book when my husband passed away four years ago. It has so many helpful hints especially taking care of yourself and not worrying how long your grief lasts. Some of the things did not apply to me. But many did. My husband was sick for many years.
Everytime I had to take him to the emergency room, the doctors would tell me, He is not going to live much longer. That went on for two years. So it was no suprise to me when he died. I had plenty of time to prepare myself.

[MM · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good resource for new widows.

Helpful to widows dealing with different types of personal situations. This book covers a variety of topics from family, funerals, grieving, careers, financial and so on. It is easy to skip along to read what applies to you personally and seems like a good resource to circle back to as needed. As a new young widow I am thankful to have stumbled upon this title.

[karen katz · Rating 5 out of 5]

the best book !

This is the best book I read when I lost my husband off 38 years. It is a complete roadmap of how to handle everything that you need to do. I was and still am so grief stricken I didn’t know what to do first. This book was my support. Get this book if you have lost your spouse.

[Lydia Gates · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a widow now for 9 months. Sure wish I had been given this right after my husband died. I cried in the first chapter. Good advice, easy read. Recommend highly. The 3 stars is because unless you get this book right away, much of it a widow has already done. :0

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought I had all the support and information I needed to get through these first months, years without my husband, but I decided to do some reading anyway, and I'm glad I did. The Friends and Family chapter helped me feel less along in my particularities.

[Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, practical advice, but the lack of diversity was jarring to me. “Husbands” were almost exclusively referred to throughout the book, with no effort made to include gay/lesbian couples, or any non-married couples.

[Cathy Senecal-Rice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent realistic advice. No touchy-feeley stuff like other widow self-help books I’ve read. Just practical, down-to-earth unfortunately necessary tips. Very much appreciated

[Katrina Harms · Rating 2 out of 5]

Living proof that I need to write a compelling book about young widowhood in the 21st century.

[Linda Abbott · Rating 5 out of 5]

After my father died, I went to Barnes & Noble to buy a book for my mom with the hopes of it being a comfort to her. I looked at many books but rejected them all. That’s not to say they weren’t of some value, they just didn’t resonate with me, and it was important to find the right book.

Six years later I found the book that I would not hesitate to give my mom or anyone who has lost their spouse. The authors of A Widows Guide To Healing have done a fantastic job on so many levels – the book is beautifully written, well organized, and offers great insights and a wealth of resources.

The voices of more than 100 widows interviewed are candid, powerful and compelling. Having known several widows in recent years, I believe the experiences of Kristin Meekhof and the women interviewed shared in these pages will be a great support and comfort to readers. There is sadness in these pages, but also light and empowerment.

I learned so much reading this book. We’ve all heard about the stages of grief, but fascinating to learn that Elizabeth Kubler Ross was writing about people confronting their own death, not the death of a loved one. The authors didn’t find much connection to those stages with what most widows experience. What has evolved over the years is a consensus that grief is a highly individualized process, has no specific timetable, and that over time “many people find that their lives are better after going through grief, due to something referred to as post-stress growth.“

The book also offers helpful information about finances, legal issues, employment and parenting.

I highly recommend this book and think it would be a wonderful gift for a friend or loved one who has lost a spouse. Not only is it a great book for widows, but it also gives everyone a better understanding of their journey so they can offer comfort, support and friendship during a critical time.

[Lily · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice little book. I read it fifteen years later than the target audience. The information in it is sensible, well laid out (so can select relevant parts if prefer), and includes both anecdotes and suggestions that can be helpful to a widow. It is not as profound as the work of Therese A. Rando, but potentially useful none-the-less. Maybe more so because can be read more lightly even in an emotionally trying time. Also includes some workshop planning like pages that can be put to good use. An online source can be found at Kristen Meekhof.com or http://www.kristinmeekhof.com/wp-cont...

[Salsabrarian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Women aren't likely to think to pick this up when they need it most so here's a friendly recommendation for those who might someday find themselves widows. It's a practical and reassuring guide that covers what to do in the immediate weeks, months and years after a husband's death, and discusses the changing dynamics she can may experience with friends, family and work colleagues. There is also a chapter on parenting during loss (I skipped that one). There is a comforting refrain throughout that there is no timeline on grief; every journey is individual. This is also handy information for friends of widows who want to help but aren't sure what to do. Game plan checklists and resources are included.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought that this was an excellent book that was easy to read and practical. So many things I'm reading are too quick to say that everyone is different. This book looks more specifically at they types of different things women go through and gives actual suggestions for working through them.

I can see myself re-reading this book sometime within the next year or so. I highly recommend this book.

[gina osborne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The must have book for young and old widows! I so wish I had known of this excellent book three years ago, as I was being audited, almost loosing my house and parenting while in my seventies. The book is so full of how to !

This book supports and acknowledges the grief , shock and the must know to survive your spouse’s death!
Will keep it for my children to use after my death

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I would give to a friend, but I hope I'll never have the occasion to.