Planes, Canes, and Automobiles: Connecting with Your Aging Parents through Travel

by Valerie M. Grubb

If the thought of vacationing with your parents makes you cringe, fear no more! Help is here!

Planes, Canes, and Automobiles: Connecting with Your Aging Parents through Travel is a gold mine of practical advice, funny anecdotes, and tales of triumphs and travails from Val Grubb, who has traveled more than 300,000 miles (and counting!) with her 84-year old mother over the past twenty years.

When planning a recent trip overseas, however, Grubb realized that her mom’s physical and mental capabilities had suddenly changed. Her mom now needed a wheelchair, for example, and was afraid to travel alone (even on short flights to meet her daughter for a long trip together). Grubb set out to find suggestions for handling these changes and after much research was struck by the lack of resources to help people plan vacations with an aging friend or family member. She couldn’t find any comprehensive information that shed light on the nuances of globetrotting with aging parents.

Planes, Canes, and Automobiles is the go-to guide for adult children: it combines her wisdom from years of traveling with her own aging mother with sensible tips, checklists, and sample itineraries to help readers plan - and enjoy - a vacation with their parents!

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Collections

248 pages, Paperback

First published October 4, 2015

About the author

My father was a pilot, so I was born with travel in my blood. I took my first solo trip at the age of four (when I wandered out of eyesight of my house one day). Since then I’ve continued to make exploring the world a priority while pursuing careers in both operations management and executive coaching.

Mom and I took our first overseas vacation together when she was sixty-four, and in the more 20+ years since then, we’ve logged over 300,000 miles (and counting!).

In response to the lack of available resources on the subject of seniors traveling with their adult children, I began publishing Travel with Aging Parents in 2013, a blog that chronicles the triumphs (and challenges) of intergenerational travel with a “you can do this” flair. I love to hear about other people's travel adventures and can be reached at travelwithagingparents@gmail.com.

Reviews

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

First I want to say this is an Advanced Reader's copy from a giveaway on Goodreads.

I liked everything about this book. Loved the cover! Wonderful tips, advice, resources for traveling with your aging parents. The author is an experienced traveler who has logged thousands of miles with her mother, as well as traveling by herself.

The book is dedicated to specific topics such as, picking a destination, selecting hotels, medicines, dealing with a parent who may have dementia, money exchanges, etc. I actually think I could use this book for my own travel planning (minus a parent). The check lists, credit card advice, tips on safety, are valuable for all travelers. More than anything this book is about how to to travel with your aging parents. The bond one can enjoy if a trip is well planned, makes it all worth it. Understanding there will be meltdowns, fatigue and getting on each other's nerves, Val has some tried and true advice from her own experience as well as other families who have travelled. It is very possible that if you follow the guidelines in this book you can forge a different relationship with your parent as an adult child, through travel. Easily broken down and so readable. A great resource book. I have recommended it to a friend who is hoping to travel with her mother next year.

[Brooke Smarsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this while on a trip with my mom. Great information, just wish I had read it before the trip - I would have gotten a direct flight home and avoided an issue.

Valerie clearly loves the topic and imparts her wisdom with a lot of enthusiasm. Definitely recommend this book - you'll either want to take your parents on a trip, or get the most of of one already planned, by the time you're finished.

[Veda Lacouture · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great read. I got this book free from goodreads giveaway. The author covers every question I could think to ask. I think it not only tells u how to get along with your aging parents while traveling but any time. Unfortunately, it is too late for me to travel with my parents anymore but I am passing this book along to my daughter and son so wish me happy traveling with them.

[Tima · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author began her journey of travel as a young child. But the story really began when her father passed away without taking a trip he'd always talked about. So she decided that this wouldn't happen with her mother. Thus begins her experiences with traveling with her elderly mother. There is advice on everything from packing, staying healthy, easing back into regular life, and how to keep the relationship great while spending so much time together. There are three appendix that include resources, packing lists, and itineraries.

While not a memoir or story, the book is filled with little stories and thoughts from the author that make it fun and entertaining to read. The writing was easy to read and often funny. But despite the humor, the author did a great job of covering everything I could think of and more about traveling with an elderly family member. Since my parents are senors this really hit home for me and was so informative. I would definitely recommend this book if you love to travel and want to spend time with your aging parents.

I received a copy of this book from Goodreads. All thoughts expressed are my own.

[Christine Zibas · Rating 4 out of 5]

"And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind." -- Dave Barry.


All kidding aside (or not), traveling with family can be wonderful, even if it is a challenge. This book takes on the not-often-covered topic of traveling with older adults, whose needs may be very different than those of younger children, who are far more often the target of articles and books about traveling with family.

As the Baby Boomers come into retirement (or extended work years) in record numbers, more and more will need more help making their travel easier and less burdensome. There's no getting around TSA checkpoints, flight delays, and long corridors at the airport -- and that's just the start of the journey. Even driving has its peccadillos.

Author Valerie Grubb has been traveling with her mother for more than 20 years (beginning when her mom turned 64), and she writes with experience from lessons learned on the road. She supplements this with extensive coverage of special challenges, such as traveling with parents who need oxygen or even those with early dementia. Yes, it's still possible.

Grubb lays out the rules (and resources) to deal with most challenges you can think of in regard to traveling with anyone who may need a little extra help, as well as trying to help readers sort out sticky issues like money, traveling with children and parents, and emotional baggage, among others.

This is a book that more and more of us are likely to need. If not for traveling with our parents, then traveling with our spouses, partners, friends, and other aging family members -- maybe even ourselves in the not-too-distant future.

She handles it all with aplomb, helping readers see the best side of traveling with those who may need a little more time and planning to make travel a success. She gives practical advice, offers endless web-oriented resources, offers checklists and sample itineraries, all in an effort to make your next vacation even better than you might have imagined.


Thanks to Good Reads and Greenleaf Book Group Press for allowing me to enjoy this book.

[Alice Bissett · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a delightful read for anyone traveling with aging adults. Even though I am not able to travel with my own parents, I learned some very useful tips that will help me when traveling with my family.

The author's great sense of humor when describing her travels with her mother made the book more of a story than a how to. She will have no regrets about wishing she would have taken more time with her mom. She has taken the time to make every traveling event special and in doing so has created some very happy memories.

[Stephen Yoder · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is a book about deepening and sustaining relationships with one's parents disguised as a book about the logistics of traveling with them. I enjoyed this book for its candor, its steady suggestions, and for its relationship discussions. Anyone entertaining the notion of enriching their relationships with their aging parents, who might also want to travel with them, would be well-served to read this book. I recieved an ARC but i do feel that my opinions about it would be the same as if I had purchased the book outright.

[Jennifer FitzPatrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Valerie Grubb has thought of everything to make travel with your older loved one as painless as possible. This book can help those who want to include an older loved one on a family vacation or holiday trip. Also, this book's tips can be applied to caregivers helping their older loved ones more efficiently and safely travel for medical appointments.

While adult children and other caregiving family members will find this book invaluable, older persons who want to save time, energy and money while traveling will also find lots of helpful ideas in this book.

[Tessabarth1214 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won an advance copy of Planes, canes, and automobiles
I now know what I have done wrong in the past

I learned a great number of good tips when traveling.
When traveling overseas is my health insurance going to work. Need to check before leaving home
Use credit cards not debt card
Their are so many great tips. It is a must read if traveling with a parent. The best tip. After you travel with your parent take one after for your self.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like this book! Even though it's too late to travel with my own parents, I learned some useful tips for my own future travel. My wife and I don't find it as simple as it once was, so some of the tips made good sense to us. Grubb's practical good sense, flexibility, and good humor make her a great travel companion. Her mom is very lucky.

[David Hamme · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book... packed with great little nuggets of advice.

[Ishita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am sure we all have the same cringing expression on our face when we make travel plans with the family. We all wonder if the fun factor of visiting a new place can truly be experienced if our parents are there. the numerous planning that you have to do have to consider your parents, and this gets exhausting. However, the author has provided the readers with practical advices that can be followed when you are stuck in such a situation. Having traveled 300,000 miles with her 84-year old mother is not only a unique approach of traveling, but the experience has unearthed a gem of advice and tips that can be followed by anyone.

This book is well-researched and contains practical hacks that are reality-based. Each chapter reveals a new set of wisdom that is not only logical and sensible, but also something that you probably have never heard or thought of while traveling. To make it understandable, the author has provided numerous personal instances to validate her words which has made this book more personal and approachable. The language has definitely added a notch to that experience. Being a blogger, the author knows how to write and connect with her readers. I believe this is one of the most enjoyable factor of reading a book of this kind.

My opinion: I don’t know how much I will be following this book, but since a family trip is coming up in December, all help is counted when it comes to my patience. A definite read for all traveling souls like me.

My rating: 4.8 out of 5

Favorite quote: “Somewhere in the back corners of our minds, we’re all vaguely aware that ‘things change as we age/’ But most of us haven’t fully embraced that understanding, especially regarding our parents. Is it perhaps because admitting that our parents are aging means admitting that we’re getting older too? (Honestly, that’s not something I like to dwell on myself..) Or could it be that we’ve always thought of our parents as our caregivers and can’t imagine that relationship ever changing? Or do we have trouble accepting any changes because of the inherent tension between parents and their children – the push-pull that never really goes away?”

[Noelle Walsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good book with plenty of tips for traveling with your elderly relatives. It would be a good idea to read this before traveling with them, just so you can have an idea or two of how to get out of certain situations (or give yourself a hand in dealing with certain situations) and reduce potential stress that would otherwise put a damper on a good trip.


*won as a GoodReads Giveaway*

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Valerie Grubb, author of Planes, Canes and Automobiles, takes us through all of the intricate preparation, in-flight, on-the-road and follow-up details to take the guesswork and minefields out of traveling with older parents. These helpful tips and lists pave the way for travelers to experience laughter and love as adults learning from new cultures and through each other. Beyond all of the lists, Grubb shows how It can open new doors, in transit and at home, to conversations and memories which can give us an opportunity to grow and learn new things about our parents as individuals and ourselves. The book is a tribute to Grubbs relationship with her mom. She sees her mom as an individual and accommodates her needs without sacrificing her own. She took the time to be with her mom and sees her as she is, not what she wants her to be. What greater gift can any one of us give to our parents but to become a caring young friend and daughter or son traveling or not. The reader, who heeds her advice, can be the beneficiary of more than a vacation but an improved parental relationship. I highly recommend this book as a travel resource and a way to build a better relationship with your parents.

[Babs · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to win a copy of this book via a Goodreads Giveaway.

First of all I need to say thank you to the author, Valerie, for sending me a lovely card with this book as well as a personalised inscription on the front cover. I thought that was a really lovely touch.

This book is a wealth of information on travelling, not just with an elderly parent, but with anyone who may have additional medical or physical needs that need to be considered when booking a trip. There is lots of practical information, as well as useful packing lists and check lists, and a list of resources too. It really is very well thought through.

There's also a secondary, underlying message, about connecting with your parents as an adult. Undoubtedly the parent/child relationship changes as you both age, and there is a lot of good information on how to handle these changing roles.

I would say the book is very well suited to US readers in particular. Especially with regards information on medication and insurance. This isn't as useful for me as a Brit. But there was still plenty I could take away from this book, not just about travel, but on wider relationship issues as well.

[SALLY WHITE · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Goodreads for sending me this book. This is an interesting and informative book, which can be read & enjoyed from a number of different aspects. Practical advice on just about everything you need to consider when planning a holiday. There is a wealth of practical information, guidance and tips, checklists and where to access further information. So comprehensive is this book, that I guess if you were to use this book as a guide to plan such a trip, you can rest assured that there is probably nothing you will have missed in planning it. If it is not in this book, then it’s probably not worth worrying about! Even if you will not use the book as a reference for similar travel, the book can be read as an informative guide to the planning and risks involved in taking anyone on holiday who may be elderly, disabled, or needs extra help. You gain an understanding on facts about airline & airports companies planning for wheelchair users, portable oxygen etc. A great book to be used as a first point of reference for travellers.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book through a Goodreads give-away for free. I really liked this book. Ms. Grubb does an excellent job using her experiences of traveling with her aged mother to help prepare those that might be headed for the same experience. She covers everything you can think of from medical, emotional, and physical aspects of travel that one may not think. Having all the resources in the back, along with the checklists, is awesome. One may also get some ideas using the book when traveling with children with special needs also.

[Kristal Stidham · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author takes what could be an overwhelming subject and breaks it down so that even novice travelers will feel comfortable tackling a trip with a senior parent. Every angle and eventuality is covered in an honest and upbeat manner. You'll find timelines for planning, checklists for packing, and the best tips from users of Grubb's website (www.travelwithagingparents.com). The advice is not just logistical, but psychological as well. I learned a lot and will be passing it to my mother and sister.

** I received a copy in a First Reads giveaway on Goodreads.com. **

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great. It is definitely a help if your traveling with a parent or parents. The author gives you ideas on what to do before, during and after the vacation. She has lists for everything to do to get ready and even for while your on vacation. She gives you resources to contact, what arrangements you should make for anything that could or might come up. This is a book for any traveler and I am keeping it in my library for future reference.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book very quickly. I wanted to get as many details about traveling with my aging parents as I could. This book has awesome ideas on how to travel with tips, checklists and other ideas. Author really gave a first hand account on how to travel with aging parents and has lots of funny anecdotes and stories. If you are thinking of traveling with older parents then this book is for you.

I won this book through Goodreads.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Planes, Canes, and Automobiles: Connecting with Your Aging Parents through Travel is a great read. There is so much great information packed inside this book. All I can say is that the title says it all and that "Chris", "Sydney", "Sharron" and all the other GoodRead FIVE Star Reviews hit it on the nail! I won this book n GoodReads and normally I pay it forward but I need to get my children to read tis one. Thanks Valerie!

[Mona Harrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful, thoughtful resource for those traveling with aging parents! I received an early copy shortly after my first trip overseas with my husband, daughter, son-in-law and grandson, and we saw many of our successes and failures in this book. I was especially touched by the obvious love and respect shown between the author and her mother.

[Barb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't quite finished the book yet since it isn't the sort of book you read in seversl sittings. I read some then think about how I can incorporate the information into my current situation. I wanted the information to use while traveling, as well as daily living, with my handicapped husband. I found the book to be an easy read with lots of useful information. Good job!

[Eileen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book as a goodreads first read. This book has a wealth of information on traveling not only with aging parents, but for yourself. I will be keeping this book as a reference for traveling in the future and will share information with my friends and family as needed.

[M.L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provides practical, real-world information in a well-written and easy-to-read, interesting format. There is a growing need for people to read this book as the population of older citizens grows.

[Steven Schaedel]

very enjoyable

[Ingrid Laub · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for anyone contemplating travel with an older parent. Chock full of common-sense advice to make your trip as stress-free and memorable as it can be.

[Melisa Shafer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great common and not-so-common sense with helpful resources.