Finding Peace When a Child Chooses Another Path

by Robin Zenger Baker

Keep your family strong in spite of everything. This loving look at how to react when your children exercise their agency in the wrong way is perfect for parents and grandparents alike. Learn how to set boundaries, when to intervene, and what you can do to show love and make peace with their choices. Uplifiting and encouraging, this book will bring you the seemingly elusive peace and hope during your times of trial.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Lds

112 pages, Paperback

First published September 8, 2015

Reviews

[Katie (hiding in the pages) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish that this wasn't a book that applies to me personally, but it is. This is a fairly recent situation for my family to be in and it's very hard to know how to shed the guilt and to move forward with peace.

Ms. Baker found herself with a couple of children who had strayed from their religious beliefs and made it a personal quest to find others in a similar situation, share their stories of how to deal with it, and to compile the information in a way that can help and uplift the many, many, many of us who suffer, whether in silence or vocally.

I love the way the book is written. Personal stories are written and interspersed with scripture or church leader quotes and references. I know I feel a lot better about myself and my family after reading this. I love the messages of hope and acceptance that flow throughout the pages.

This is a great read for anyone who struggles with children going astray from parental religion/beliefs, but is mostly written for an LDS audience.

*I received a copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review*

[Tressa (Wishful Endings) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Peace When a Child Chooses Another Path was a book about helping parents who have had someone close to them, specifically a child or children, fall away from the church. Chapters included: "How Does It Feel When Children Leave?," "Is This a Trend?," "Seeds by the Wayside," "Where Is the Pain Coming From?," "Parents' Reactions," "What Works: Accepting the New Reality," "What Works: Take Action," "What Works: Hold onto Hope," and concludes with "Balancing Pain and Joy." The book is specific to the LDS religion or those belonging to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but also discusses the situation with other religions in mind. It's a situation that most religiously devout people everywhere has some experience with.

I have to admit that I was a little worried when I began reading this that I wouldn't like it or that it would be overly negative. I ended up being pleasantly surprised. Not only did the voice of the book read more realistically and positively than I expected, it also touched my heart as I have thought about someone close to me who is struggling. I liked that she points out all the various circumstances and influences that those who are struggling face in the world. She explained that at some point children do need to find their own faith and figure out what they believe.

There were a lot of examples, thoughts, testimonials of other families and parents that showed various situations with their children and their responses. Some of them were quite shocking and not of how I would think Christians should act, but also realistic for many. There are suggestions on what not to do and what to do. I liked that the author also balanced all the negative statistics and feelings with glimmers of hope.

She talks about the love and acceptance that parents can have, as well as a hope for a future where their family, each of their loved ones, are all together again. Then she talks about what works and what parents can do in these situations, situations where a child has decided to leave their parents' faith and that of their childhood. Some of the topics she explores and would be good to ponder (for any parent) were: "Love what is;" "Children's choices aren't about you;" "Let go of blame and guilt;" "Embrace your children's agency;" "See the value in doubts and questions;" "We all have different gifts;" and "Talk to departing family members in helpful ways." That last one I found especially helpful.

I felt like her purpose for writing the book came through in the pages in such a positive way. As the author states:
I have attempted to offer a wide range of ideas to help people think and act in ways that will bring them some solace and strength. It is my hope that something I have shared will help people move in positive, helpful directions.
(p. 32)

Finding Peace When a Child Chooses Another Path is definitely a book I would recommend to parents, husbands, and wives as we seek to be the best parents and companions to those who struggle in their faith and to those who do not to help our relationships be ones of love and learning. It was well worth the read and definitely a book I can see myself referring back to and sharing with others.

Source: I would like to thank Cedar Fort for my complimentary copy, which did not affect my review in any way.

[Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comforting and Hopeful

I read this book as a means of searching for solid ground after having our son tell us he doesn’t want to be a part of the church. It’s full of helpful advice and hopeful teachings. I highly recommend to anyone with loved ones experiencing a crisis of faith.

[Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful and hopeful book! Would recommend to anyone.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This slim volume seems so valuable for parents of LDS and other faiths whose children leave (at least temporarily) their parents' faith, for leaders who counsel those parents, and for everyone who may know such parents and children--in short, every leader and member of the LDS Church and other faiths, as well. The author explores the prevalence of the phenomenon, its causes, the feelings it creates in parents, and some of the things parents can do to live with the situation and find peace, always emphasizing the importance of loving one's children and not making their level of activity in the Church the foremost defining characteristic of parental thoughts, words, and actions with reference to them. Baker uses the slim available research, valuable thoughts of authors of other faiths who have written about the phenomenon, the words of the Latter-day Saint prophets and Apostles on the subject, and interviews with LDS parents whose children have "chosen other paths" to create a treasure of a book. Highly recommended.

[Kirsti Call · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Finding Peace When A Child Chooses Another Path, Robin Baker takes an honest look at how wayward children affect their churchgoing parents. Filled with personal experiences, this book is raw, compelling and relevant to every member of the LDS church. And most importantly, it illuminates a path towards peace.

[Suzette Kunz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really quick read and I loved it. She talks about the tendency of young adults to question their faith and choose other paths. She also adds some interesting insight about statistics for other religions where this happens. She shares experiences and insights from a variety of people. In her final chapters, she shares doctrinal insights which offer lots of hope. Definitely needed this.

[Kristy W · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book. In particular it's about when your children leave your faith, but I liked it for how it talked about managing your expectations with older teenagers and about loving them while they make decisions you don't agree with.

[Lindsay Bullock · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved all the stores that Robin shared in this book. It is such a comforting read if you're struggling with a family member choosing another path.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for parents who struggle with some of their children's choices. Filled with real-life experiences and stories and many great insights and quotes. It is really about loving your children unconditionally as they make their own life choices and how to find your own peace. Great, short read!