Becoming Human

by Jean Vanier

Jean Vanier shares his vision for creating a common good that radically changes our communities, and ourselves.

Genres: Nonfiction, Philosophy, Spirituality, Psychology, Theology, Religion, Christianity

176 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 1998

About the author

Jean Vanier was educated in England and Canada, entered the Royal Naval College, Dartmouth, England in 1942. He went to sea in 1945 in the Royal Navy and in 1947 transferred to the Royal Canadian Navy. He resigned from the Royal Canadian Navy in 1950 while serving H.M.C.S. Magnificent. He then went to France to work in a students' community outside of Paris. He studied philosophy and theology and obtained a Doctorate from the Catholic Institute in Paris.

At various times in his life, Vanier has been a(n)
author-
traveler-
founder-
humanitarian-
peacemaker-

Reviews

[Sylvester (Taking a break in 2023) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jean Vanier, a man I thoroughly respect, the founder of L'Arch, a community for the intellectually disabled. Such a thought-provoking book. I could not possibly say enough about it.
Some quotes to give you a feel for Vanier's perspective on humanity:

"I also believe that those we most often exclude from the normal life of society, people with disabilities, have profound lessons to teach us. When we do include them, they add richly to our lives and add immensely to our world."

" We are all frightened by the ugly, the dirty. We all want to turn away from anything that reveals the failure, pain, sickness, and death beneath the brightly painted surface of our ordered lives. Civilization is, at least in part, about pretending that things are better than they are. We all want to be in a happy place, where everyone is nice and good and can fend for themselves. We shun our own weakness and the weakness in others. We refuse to listen to the cry of the needy. How easy it is to fall into the illusion of a beautiful world when we have lost trust in our capacity to make our broken world a place that can become more beautiful."

Love this book. Love how Vanier champions the beauty and value of every human being.

[malou · Rating 1 out of 5]

Was enrolled in a class which had this book on as mandatory reading. Dropped the class but heard several people say good things about it (including "it changed my life!") so wanted to give it a read.

Then I found out halfway through that the guy sexually abused a bunch of women. Preaching about the importance of love and communion while using your status as a spiritual leader to abuse women casts a big fucking shadow over the whole thing (to say the least). Sentences like: "... I have in some small way learned to inhabit my body and to see it not just as a channel for therapy but as a way of revealing my heart and of being in communion with others" really don't read the same.

On top of that a lot of the text is about all the things we can learn from people with intellectual disabilities but there's something strangely dehumanising in his language? It's like he puts them on a pedestal but still manages to let the way in which he does somehow find them lesser seep through by saying things like "even though he was weak and fragile he was truly a man of joy".

If that wasnt enough, he also paints a picture of Africa as consisting solely of little villages and explicitly claims that people who didn't receive love can't give love. Ugh.

Having said all that, there's nonetheless a few decent bits. Near the end his rhetoric becomes sort of transformative justice-y which I can easily get behind. Still, the same ideas have also been written elsewhere and better. If you wanna read a book about love and being human do yourself a favour and pick up bell hooks instead.

[Gary Patton]

You will enjoy this heart-warming book as much as did I. It's authored by one of our greatest, Canadian humanitarian, Jean Vanier. He is a scion of an equally famous Canadian family.

Jean Vanier is the founder of the world-famous L'Arche.

L'Arche provides residences for the emotionally, mentally, and physically disabled ...men and women who have been put aside, looked down upon, laughed at and, too often shunned... plus their caregivers ...those who wish to have a sometimes lasting relationship with the principle residents.

I was amazed to discover that Mr. Vanier started the first L'Arche in his home north of Paris in 1964. That was the year when I was in my third year of a four year History program at the University of Toronto.

While I was still focusing on myself, and getting a good teaching job when I finished my MA, Mr. Vanier was launching a movement that today, about 50 years later, has spawned 134 L'Arche communities in thirty-five different countries.

The book is filled with encouraging, engaging stories, shared by a Godly man, that teach stupendous life lessons!

GaryFPatton
(2014-02 © gfp '42™)

[Sharif Khan · Rating 4 out of 5]

More than a thought-provoking read, it is a heart-provoking read which challenges society's definition of "success" by offering a different paradigm: belonging in brokenness in communion with others through mutual vulnerability and openness, sharing our weaknesses and calling forth what is beautiful in us and others, and putting justice, truth, and service to others above our own personal gain.

Instead of the traditional pyramid scheme, the author poignantly asks: "Can we hope for a society whose metaphor is not a pyramid but a body, and where each of us is a vital part in the harmony and function of the whole?"

The author believes so, and this book provides a powerful answer to this vital question.

[Alex Strohschein · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I told one of my classmates (who had worked at L'Arche) a few years back that I wanted to read "Becoming Human," he told me that this book could awaken spirituality in the non-Christian but seem a bit shallow for the Christian who expects their faith to be put forward more explicitly. This is an apt observation after reading this book; Vanier's desire is to appeal to a universal human sensibility. The 3/5 is not to say this is bad, but that it doesn't particularly impact me since what is presented is not too groundbreaking, especially if you frequent Christian circles. It very much reminds me of Henri Nouwen's writings. Also a little disappointing to read after reports have been released about Vanier's sexual abuse (in this book, Vanier also praises Father Thomas Philippe, who also engaged in sexual abuse).

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful explanation of the worldview that has motivated Vanier's remarkably generous and giving life. He is a Christian, and his faith encapsulates all the most lovely and wonderful aspects. It is a beautiful, connected way to go through life, and Vanier is a convincing messenger.

UPDATE: Ok, this is a problem and very upsetting. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-51596516 People can have lovely ideas, and do lovely things, and also be really terrible and messed up at the same time. Man, people are messy. I don't have an easy answer about how to reconcile enlightened, beautiful ideas coming from a man behaving in repulsive ways in private.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! Highly recommend! I will be rereading this!

"Everything that is human needs nourishment: the body, the mind, the memory, the imagination, and, particularly, the heart. They must be nourished by encounters with other hearts they can lead us into other gardens of life, into a new and deeper vulnerability, and into a new understanding of the universe, of God, of history, and of the beauty and depth of each and every human being." p68

"Aristotle talks of our passions as being like a horse which has a life of its own. We are riders who have to take into account the life if the horse on order to guide it where we want it to go. We are not called to suppress our passions or compulsions, nor to confront them head on, nor to be governed by them, but to orientate them in the direction we want to go."
--Pg115

"Perhaps we all have to embrace the strong beliefs of adolescence before we can become mature adults with the wisdom to modify our certitudes and listen respectfully to those who bring us different views." --p136
Continued: "It took time for me to see and accept the brokenness of the history and life of my own church, and to discover the beauty, truth, and good in other churches and religions. Just as it took time for me to discover all that was broken in myself: my prejudices, my fears, my mixed motivations, my weaknesses, my need to succeed, and my fear of failure."

"One of the most important factors for inner liberation is how we are accompanied. We must ask ourselves: Who is walking with me?" p128
"Because I was well accompanied, I was able to open up my heart. I did not keep things hidden within, where they could rot and decay. I was able to name my weaknesses and fears." p129

"Forgiveness of ourselves, then, implies an acceptance of our true value. The loss of a false self-image, if it is an image of superiority, or the need to hide our brokenness can bring anguish and inner pain. We can only accept this pain if we discover our true self beneath all the masks and realize that if we are broken, we are also more beautiful than we ever dared to suspect."
--p158

[Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Venier argues that human hearts are liberated from loneliness by acting on our innate sense of belonging by embracing the weakness of others. Loneliness drives towards closer union with God or towards fear, depression, apathy and a loss of trust. The passage of life suggests that the tension between recurring order and chaos creates insecurity and loneliness. In order itself are the seeds of change, something we can choose to help evolve by seeking truth and meaning or resist in our rigidity. Making sense of a changing world underscores the necessity for community or an innate need in our hearts to belong to a group to find truth together and to be part of something much bigger. In such a context fear closes down, and love opens up. Love transforms, opens our hearts and set us on a path of healing that sees the gifts in all people, thereby discovering our common humanity. The fear of maintaining our own order against different people or the fear of our own failures starts to dissipate. We realize that the weak and downtrodden have gifts to offer as well, but opening our hearts in communion to them means to be vulnerable. It remains a choice to treat people as people, stemming from a heart matured in love and trusting in God. To be able to maintain this we need to be free from our compulsive needs for success, to be powerful, to be approved of and also free from past hurts that cut us of from others. Emerging from self-centeredness is a painful process, often accompanied by symptoms of grief and feelings of inner-emptiness. It is the death of our false selves, pushed forward by the liberating force of God’s love. Finding freedom from inner hurts is a process of forgiveness by which we start to accept and love those who have hurt us. The inner power of the Spirit can transform our hearts of stone, give us courage to forgive and be forgiven. In this sense we transcend our humanity and become truly human – created in the image of God.

[Alexander · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is challenging to know what to say about this book today.

My girlfriend and I read it together over the course of a few months, and shortly after we finished reading it, the report on Vanier's past misdeeds was published. It's hard to know how much that should affect how his works should be viewed. Obviously, many have found solace in Vanier's writing and in his examination of basic human needs for proper development. At the same time, this work cannot be completely separated from his personal life and past actions.

To be honest, it's hard to recall parts of this book and think that the person writing it could also be manipulative and abusive, especially in the context of spiritual direction. The author seems to have a deep understanding of and a willingness to explore the human condition and the feelings of loneliness, rejection, belonging, and love. Did he come to these insights after years of reflection about his past sins and what motivated them? Did he simply try to reject that part of himself outright and sweep it under the rug? I have no idea, but reading this book is certainly more complicated now than it was a year ago.

Is it worth keeping the book, or should we abandon Vanier because of the reports about him? Though I understand the latter sentiment, I hesitate to jettison authors and their ideas simply because of a personal flaw of theirs. On a different but related note, though, I found the book thoughtful, but not necessarily memorable as a spiritual read. That said, the book itself is a copy of Vanier's Massey Lecture, so it lends itself better to a deep read over a short time period. If you are looking to read it, I would suggest taking that approach. The way that I took it in over a long span of time made it hard to differentiate some of the concepts between and within chapters.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of those books that makes you think ! The concept of loneliness, in this day an age, isn't a foreign one. We are more connected then ever via media, but strongly lacking in real life connection. We are starving for real connection. How much more can individual with disability, can suffer the pain of loneliness? How often they are overlooked because, we, don't know how to deal with our own discomfort?

Vanier, help is to understand ourselves so we can see those around us who are too often overlooked.

[Luke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Becoming Human is one of the rarest things in the world; a book that effectively describes the greatest mysteries of Life's goodness. Thank you Jean and thanks be to God for your life

[Sebastien · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a powerful book. Jean Vanier pushes you to become the best human you can be. This means forgiving your enemies (and even loving them), and agreeing to change your entire world view in order to make the world a better place.

Imagine someone knocks on your door and asks you for food. Naturally, most good samaritans would give this person some food. But what if the person came back the next day, and every day after that? What if this person came back with his or her friends? Would you still give food? Would you reject this person? Jean Vanier believes that most people would, but that they shouldn't. Becoming friends with a homeless person isn't scary because the person is homeless, he argues, but rather because we know it would change our lives.

Vanier is basically the nicest, most positive forward-thinking person ever. He truly believes that communion and friendship and love will overpower evil in humanity. He certainly gives a good example to follow. What's tough to digest about this book is that you will grapple with what it means to be human for yourself, and whether your life would be better off if you sacrificed and helped others or if you attempted to accrue as many material goods as possible.

It will at least get you thinking.

[Robbie Claravall · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's an elegy, really. An ode of what had come, what has come, and of what is to come. To become human is to recognize our faults and our uncertainties, and to lament during a time of drought is not a sign of weakness, but rather, a sign of growth. A harbinger of what is to come. A warm embrace in spite of the suffering that we simultaneously concur and incur. I can't help but be reminded of a quote by Geiko Müller-Fahrenholz, a German theologian: "There can be no forgiveness where perpetrators, whether individuals or collective, lack the courage to disarm themselves in front of the victims. This is a painful and demanding act." People often say loneliness is a taste of death, but I look at it in the opposite direction: it is a celebration of life—the fact that our tears flow is a proof that we are alive and breathing, whether we are the perpetrator or the perpetrated. We are all, in a sense, fundamentally the same, no matter how big or small our acts of kindness and crimes are. We all belong to a shared, broken humanity—and to open our hearts is to open our inner beauty. We are wounded, we are vulnerable, we are human beings.

We may be different in race, culture, religion, demographics, sexualities, and capacities, but we are all the same inside out. We have value. We have worth. We have to lose our feelings of both superiority and inferiority to recognize that we have hurt and have been hurt. Humanism doesn't come from internal centrism, but from the liberation of the ego to yearn for the unity and growth of the species as a whole. It's ultimately a process of love and forgiveness, a shedding of our needs, a sharing of our souls, our vulnerabilities, and through this, we discover that even though we may be broken in some way, we are still more beautiful than we ever dared to suspect.

It's okay to weep. It's okay to cry. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to start over. It's okay to become human.

[Marlies · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jean Vanier's book about what it means to be human is full of wisdom and challenges. True freedom comes when we learn to forgive, love, and accept others. His ideas are radical: success in capitalism leads us further away from the heart and soul. An inspiring read.

[Don Watkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book. I loved it from beginning to end. Jean Vanier possesses great insights on living, acceptance and forgiveness. Because of this book I not only see myself differently but I also see other differently especially those who are disabled in any way.

[Brannon Shortt · Rating 4 out of 5]

“So the sense of belonging that is necessary for the opening of our hearts is born when we walk together, needing each other, and accompanying one another whether we are weak or strong, capable or not.”

[Michael Wayne Hampton · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could have every person on the planet read one book it would be this one, and Earth would be a better place for it.

[Liz Kent · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t normally write reviews ever, but here we are. I stopped reading this book about 75% way thought mostly because I was becoming more and more weary of Vaniers portrayal and perception of individuals with disabilities. As i began the book, i was excited to finally be reading something about the profession i have been working in for some time as i rarely i get the opportunity to discuss it with anyone around me. There were some really good points about how our society views the disabled as weak as Vanier talks about how our society puts them at the very bottom wrung considering them almost inhuman as they are unable to “be strong” like the rest of us. In a way i can see what he is arguing, in that the society we live in is essentially meant to eradicate and keep those who are not the status quo “down”, but to keep asserting that individuals with disabilities- all of them are weak and happy and are unbothered by a lot of the things we are bothered by was a sentiment that was pushed too hard. In my opinion, this book does a decent job in asking how individuals with disabilities fit into our society, however, it falters in actually describing individuals living in with disabilities in a way that i found a bit reductive. Anyway, I also found out that after all of what was preached in this book, Vanier was accused on multiple occasions of sexual assault against women, so....we’re definitely not all perfect, but finding that out near the end of the book definitely kind of sealed the deal for me. Maybe I’ll pick it up again. Again not a bad blood, definitely valuable for those who dont know a lot about individuals with disabilities, but can equally be harmful due to the simplified depiction of individuals living with disabilities which lend to old stereotypes and discriminative ideals.

[Brett Gorney · Rating 5 out of 5]

It only took me 4.5 months to get through this book. Lol!! Not that it’s difficult. It’s profoundly deep and it was a vessel for God to open up my heart, mind and soul to recognized some personal demons that I’ve been battling when it comes to “Loneliness” and forgiving myself for a part of my past.

Extremely well written and extremely deep on so many levels. It reveals the ugliness and sin we all walk with when in comes to seeing everybody as equals... as human beings just like ourselves.

We’re all a work in process. There’s a lot to glean from this book and I’m sure I’ll read it many times more.

[Jonathan Schut · Rating 3 out of 5]

Vanier's reputation is tainted by what we now know of his behaviour and character during his lifetime. That aside, this was a good book with a number of novel ideas presented in new, articulate, and easily understood ways. However, like many authors I have encountered, Vanier has a tendency to place the onus on the oppressed to bring about their own liberation without much consideration of the barriers set in place by those who oppress them.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Loneliness is the fundamental force that urges mystics to a deeper union with God. For such people, loneliness has become intolerable but, instead of slipping into apathy or anger, they use the energy of loneliness to seek God. It pushes them towards the absolute. An experience of God quenches this thirst for the absolute but at the same time, paradoxically, whets it, because this is an experience that can never be total; by necessity, the knowledge of God is always partial. So loneliness opens up mystics to a desire to love each and every human being as God loves them.”

Compelling and clear.

[Leonardo]

In February 2020, an internal report by L'Arche concluded that Vanier sexually abused six women in Trosly-Breuil, France, between 1970 and 2005.

[Ann Yeong · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book, as well as Richard Rohr's "Immortal Diamond: The Search for our True Self", within the same week. Rohr and Vanier are very different persons and writers but in both these books, they seek to convey a singular truth - to be fully human is to let go of and move beyond our compulsions, addictions and the relentless demands of our ego (false self) and to become fully alive. Being fully human also entails desiring the same freedom and joy for others too - including those whom we dislike, or hate, those whom we fear... those who are different from us.

I first heard of Jean Vanier through Henri Nouwen's books and had wondered at who this man might be who had so inspired Nouwen's own inspiring books on spirituality. Having read "Becoming Human," I am struck by the fullness of Jean Vanier's own humanity which comes across in his writing. Here was a philosopher and theologian whose greatest wisdom - which is so generously shared in this book - came from his interior journey, a journey that has been facilitated by his relationships with the mentally handicapped whom he sees and loves in their full personhood. Here is a person who has come to deep awareness and knowledge of his own sins and limitations and who have come to love and be loved beyond creed, religion, and institution even as his own particular journey takes its nourishment from the Catholic Church.

I feel that "Becoming Human" isn't a book that can be enjoyed if it is read from the head, as the language it speaks is one of the heart - it speaks the universal language of love and a common humanity that excludes no one. I found its message affirming and challenging. In particular, when I read the last chapter on Forgiveness, I found myself recognising how much forgiveness still lies ahead of me if I desire to continue this journey of becoming fully human and fully alive.

[Christina Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much to think on and grow in my own reality as a human. So many words of insight to highlight and ponder and put in my personal thought life towards others living life around me.

"So to become human implies two realities. It means to be someone, to have cultivated our gifts, and also to be open to others, to look at them not with a feeling of superiority but with eyes of respect. It means to become men and women with the wisdom of love. For this, we often need help. For many, as for myself, religion can be a gentle source of strength and love, as can a mentor or wise friend."

Jean's life experiences and mentors created such great opportunities for him to learn hands on and see humans in different situations, especially those most often misunderstood. I appreciated how he shared when his perspective changed and grew and loved more freely. So many great points and learnings from reading this book for me.

[Steve Murdock · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned of Jean Vanier and L’Arche from reading “Road to Daybreak,” by Henri Nouwen (also highly recommended), and was intrigued to learn more about the man who founded L’Arche. This book takes you inside heart of Jean Vanier, who finds that those persons with special needs have so much to teach the rest of us. They do not seek out wealth, power and status as is the goal for the majority of the first world society. They find joy in acceptance, care for one another and just to love and be loved - in other words to simply be human. Vanier is a remarkable man and a role model for all of us. The book gets a bit long in the tooth in spots (thus the four v five star review), but it is more than worth reading.

http://a.co/5dDQ3XA

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great inspirational read written by one of the kindest souls I know of. A bit repetitive but maybe that’s what we need in order to finally get the fact that there is infinite room for unconditional kindness.

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the classic work of Vanier. He teaches us how to become. His work with disabled people has changed the way we think about them and about ourselves. The leader becomes the servant and the servant becomes the leader. A must read for those who serve.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes it is repetitive. But this book has some fundamental ways of looking at the world and ourselves that lead our path to a humble, loving, and ultimately joy filled life. A call to action. Beautiful important message.

[Kamakana · Rating 5 out of 5]

??? 2000s: beautiful, concise, empathic rendering of human potential too often not met...

[A. · Rating 2 out of 5]

A nice message, but a bit repetitive.