The Power of Curiosity: How to Have Real Conversations That Create Collaboration, Innovation and Understanding

by Kathy Taberner, Kirsten Siggins

Use the power of curiosity to transform challenging conversations into productive, meaningful, relationship-building experiences at work, home, or school.   As leaders, parents, or teachers, navigating difficult conversations is part of the job. How do we keep calm and achieve a productive outcome, all while keeping our relationships intact?   The secret is curiosity.   Curiosity is the innovation-driving, emotion-calming skill that comes so naturally to us as children, but gets so easily buried beneath our busy, multitasking lifestyles. The good news is that we simply have to relearn what we already know! In The Power of Curiosity, mother-daughter executive coaching team Kathy Taberner and Kirsten Taberner-Siggins walk you through the Curiosity Skills and introduce a step-by-step process to use anytime—but especially when challenging conversations arise. In The Power of Curiosity you’ll How to be fully present in every conversation, even when distractions aboundThe five listening choices you always have available at home, work, or schoolSpecific calming strategies to access when negative emotions run high A step-by-step process to transform potential conflict into relationship-building opportunities.

Genres: Leadership, Nonfiction, Psychology, Communication

180 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2015

Reviews

[Tammy Collet · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an invaluable resource for anyone who wants to deepen their relationships. I will be coming back to this one again and again, fine tuning my "power of curiosity". I received this as a good reads first reads giveaway and I am so glad that I entered....this is my new go to book when I need to truly communicate with my family and co-workers.

[Vironika Tugaleva · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book, Kathy and Kristen cover some of the essential practices that can help us connect deeper with ourselves and others, such as embracing other people's perspectives, listening with the intention to understand, swapping judgment for acceptance, and questioning our assumptions.

This book is written for a corporate/business environment, which is distant from my own work and experience. However, I deeply relate to the authors' passion for spreading open-mindedness and curiosity around the world. Since this is how I imagine most similar books are structured, I think "The Power of Curiosity" can serve help many individuals in that industry to improve their listening and conflict resolution skills.

As they say in the book, "We can change the world, by our own example, one curious conversation at a time."

I received this book from one of the authors directly in exchange for an honest review. The missing star is on account of me not being part of the book's target market.

[Miranda Yeoh]

I learned many things from this book. I was from a family where the elders were always right, and my role was to listen. Questions are not always welcome except at times by my Dad. Would I be propagating the same? I shouldn't because this is now a collaborative society. My students share their tech knowledge with me.

I love this portion: "There is no greater distance between two people than a misunderstanding. Understanding others is the sweet spot where we learn, connect, inspire, innovate, and collaborate. Our relationships strengthen, and anything becomes possible. We all hold the power of understanding, and it begins with curiosity. Mahatma Gandhi asked us to be the change we want to see in the world." I believe we can change the world - by not judging hastily but through listening and connecting through one curious conversation at a time.

[Xia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful! Draws the link on why curiosity leads to understanding and thus connections.
helps with identifying on boundaries and why we need them. Some good advice and tips as an introduction to self-help and breaking out of the apathetic/indifference bubble.

[Kari · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book about communication, couching your active listening experience in terms of being curious about what the other person is saying, their perspective, and honoring what you both want from the conversation.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad but made me think I need to write a book on this topic.

[Allison]

Read for school.
I thought this book was actually really interesting and had a lot of good tips. I will definitely be taking some of these tips into account in my life.

[Elianne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Prima lezen voor werk

[Eva Williams · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is suburban, white collar, corporate, hollow, american schlock. Disgusting book. Wish I could give it a zero.

[Nathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thin and fast read. Basic thesis is that conversations aren't effective when people are emotionally triggered, judging, or generally not listening. Puts forward the value of curiosity ... genuinely seeking to understand, rather than presuming and rushing to judgement.

1. Be present so you're able to actively listen; 2. Choose how to listen so you're ready to learn about self and others; 3. Ask curious open questions so you're seeking to understand others.

To be present: [A]ttention, [B]ody language and tone of voice, [S]top and focus, [O]pen to understanding not judging, [R]epeat through paraphrase, [B]ecalm the gremlins. All are pretty straightforward: the "gremlins" refers to internal self-talk that can be distracting or damaging to focus.

When we listen, we make choices about how to do so. We can: (1) Ignore the speaker; (2) Focus on Me, ie compare the speaker to us, judge the speaker with our context; (3) Focus on You, ie jump to solutions and judging the speaker's situation without regard to what the speaker wants us to do; (4) Focus on Understanding, listening and exploring, but taking no responsibility for the outcome of the conversation; (5) Focus on Us, which is 4 but remaining invested in the outcome of the conversation. Each has their uses, but obviously 4 and 5 are likely to be more successful for most collaborative situations.

The authors also talk about being curious about ourselves. Basically: know what we value, know our boundaries, and watch for how our emotions spike when those values or boundaries are violated. Most people haven't thought about values and boundaries, so find themselves put upon and put out without being able to clearly put their finger on why. Once you know what you value, and you can put boundaries around it ("nope, I can't watch your children after school because that'd mean backing out of something I'd agreed to with my children").

Nothing terribly new. I took away the difference between being invested in the outcome, vs simply understanding. Both are powerful, now I can choose which type of conversation I'm in.

[Frédéric Byé · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the fact that The Power Of Curiosity talks about the paradigm shift that we're in; from institutional to informational. That part of the book resonated with me in a deep way. The book taught me to become a better listener, and most importantly, keep developing that skill as best as I can. So often, because we're busy or in a hurry, we judge others or interpret what others say in the wrong way. I for sure have been guilty of this. Kudos to Kathy and Kirsten for writing such an inspiring guide to becoming better listeners and, therefore, better citizens, parents, workers, and leader.

[Chara · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is a little off… this was really a book about relationships.