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384 pages, Paperback
Published May 22, 2025
'Shouldn't I just choose the writers I like?'
'What?'
'For my essay, Writers I like. Writers I think are good.'
'Oh Edward. Pfister shorted. 'Whether they're any good doesn't come into it. Evaluative criticism is over. Themes - that's what you want. Ideas. Frameworks. Critical lenses. Between you and me...it's almost better if the text is a little ropey. Then you can upset one of the old guard. Coax one of them into a rebuttal.' He made a mysterious, waggling gesture with his fingers. 'Controversy. Citations.' ... 'Do you have any protests you can put on your CV?'
'Do you see an 'individual' (looking at me)? Or do you see just another black woman? Be honest.'
'You know maybe people are reluctant to view you as an individual because you go on about being a black woman literally all the time.'
Not if I choose to do it. It's Jews I want to speak to anyway, as much as anyone else. Honestly, Edward, you have no idea what it's been like this week. It turns out there are actually some Jewish people-Americans, mainly-here who are a pretty bit weird about me going out with you.
They do know I'm not actually a Muslim, right? You can tell them. I really don't care.'
It doesn't make any difference, Edward. People aren't really interested in seeing someone like you as "not a Muslim." Not since what happened. In fact it's as if some of them have been waiting patiently all their lives for an excuse to see you as nothing but one.'
'But you want to try to convince them anyway? That doesn't make much sense either.'
'Maybe it doesn't. Anyway, I feel like I really can't win because I make the small point that, for example, and allowing for a fact that I don't have some stupid MA in international relations, I suspect killing everyone in the occupied territories might not be an excellent long-term strategy for Jews in Israel or abroad—I make this point and then I'm an outcast, an apologist, self-hating, not a real Jew, et cetera. Fine. Whatever. But then I go to the other side and say, for example, that there may be some people in Israel who are not bloodthirsty warlords and might be permitted to remain where they are-my ninety-year-old grand-mother, for example, who was a Tolstoyan anarchist and uses a breathing tube, or my cousin, who is four—I am an apologist, a racist, a coloniser. I just feel like everyone has gone mad. It makes me want to go home. But where even is home, now?' I'm sorry. But I just think you're expecting too much from these people. I mean why do you talk to them? It'll blow over.
We've been so happy this week, Rachel?
I've been happy with you. But you can't just be happy with one person, it's not enough?