This Is Who I Am

by Harper Bliss

Love doesn't always follow the recipe...

Cass Little has built a life defined by two food and control. As head chef she’s used to perfection—except when it comes to her own body. Menopause has taken its toll, leaving Cass struggling to accept a body she barely recognizes. She’s convinced that love, like her libido, has long left the building.

Estelle Raymond is back in Clearwater Bay to grieve her father—and escape a lifetime of expectations. A brilliant mathematician, she’s comfortable being asexual, but wary of the way love so often demands she be someone she’s not.

But something about Cass—a woman who loves fiercely but fears she’s not enough—awakens a desire for connection Estelle thought she’d buried. And something about Estelle—a woman who refuses to compromise her truth—makes Cass question everything she thought she knew about passion.

When old wounds and new desires collide, Cass and Estelle must learn that love isn’t always about reciprocity—it’s about trust, acceptance, and finding comfort in the unexpected.

Set in the small coastal town of Clearwater Bay, This Is Who I Am is a heartwarming sapphic romance about queer identity, self-acceptance, and the messy, beautiful ways we learn to love again.

Grab your copy now and fall in love with Cass and Estelle’s unforgettable journey.

Genres: Audiobook, Queer, Lesbian Fiction, Lesbian, Contemporary, Romance, LGBT

277 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 16, 2025

About the author

Harper Bliss is a best-selling lesbian romance author. Among her most-loved books are the highly dramatic French Kissing and the often thought-provoking Pink Bean series. She is the co-founder of My LesFic, a weekly newsletter offering discount deals on lesbian fiction.

Harper lived in Hong Kong for 7 years, travelled the world for a bit, and has now settled in Brussels (Belgium) with her wife and photogenic cat, Dolly Purrton.

Together with her wife, she hosts a weekly podcast called Harper Bliss & Her Mrs.

Reviews

[Elske · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this romance, not only because it was well written but also because it was a little different from a lot of other romances. That was because menopause played a big role. As it does in the lives of a lot of women that are a bit older. I also liked the way the book handled the difficulties an ace woman can encounter in her life. And I of course I loved the romance.
Recommend.

[Sam]

I used to read all the books Bliss released. I’ve let a few pass me by because they weren’t hitting the right spot for me anymore. I decided to pick this one up because it seemed much different from any other book out there and that’s a win.

I must say I started very promising. Good friendships, fun careers, representation of many rainbow people, perimenopausal women - all good. But then… The story. I just can’t, maybe it’s because I don’t understand anything of the menopause (not yet anyway), maybe it’s because I found the writing to be incredibly repetitive and lacking depth. My guess it’s the latter.
There’s so much potential there, but the repetitive nature of this story isn’t hitting any emotional spots for me, other than annoyance.
Other than that I’d say it’s a typical Bliss book. It’s fine, just not hitting the spot for me.

[Sue Plant · Rating 4 out of 5]

my first book by this author though i have several on my kindle but this one needed to be read first and it doesnt disappoint

i did need to look up a few things on the internet to get my head around some things as understanding the pronouns and what they mean... but i recognised myself in the menopausal character of cass....so much that when it came to Estelle character i knew it had to very accurate description of how she had led her life and what she had been through

what a pair they are and the mix up that happen.... though i found the first half needed me to look up because my knowledge is very lacking on certain subjects when it got down the nitty gritty i was 100% behind both characters and was hoping for a great outcome for them both

the whole book is full of amazing characters though and i fell in love with them all, just wish where they live is available for us to go and stay it sounds amazing and i also want to take up surfing... it might help with my menopausal moments

all in all though its a great book and one i very quickly drawn into and held fascinated by everyone

roll on the next book by this author

[Angel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This literary gem was definitely written for me because I’m currently on the perimenopausal hot mess express! It was so refreshing to read a romance novel that steps completely away from the norm of young women who are in their 20’s or 30’s with high paying careers and well-toned, athletic bodies. I’m a huge fan of devouring books that step outside the norm and this delightful story ticked all the right boxes for me because we have two lovely women who are in their 50’s and they are dealing with so many personal and professional upheavals in their lives yet they are still drawn to each other. Who would have thought that an asexual math professor who is struggling with burnout and a menopausal lesbian chef/restaurant owner could fall deeply in love with each other? I don’t know about anyone else but this is the kind of romance that I need in my life right now because I’m the queen of hot flashes and food cravings so if Cass can find love with a gorgeous woman like Estelle then there’s still some hope for me! By the way, did I mention how much I love Cass’s friends? I felt as though I knew Sadie, Devon, Hunter and Bobby personally and I was really sad when the story ended because I had to say goodbye to all the wonderful characters in this delightful novel.

[Adrienne Oliveri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ending was horrific

[Misha · Rating 4 out of 5]

(rounded down from 4.25)

I always enjoy Harper Bliss' books, and this one was no exception. I appreciate that a lot of sapphic romance authors periodically focus on older protagonists. This one, in particular, is about a group of friends who are all around the same age and going through things like menopause together (and dealing with it in various ways).

Cass is a bit of a frustrating character. She's dealing with some pretty heavy menopause symptoms, but refuses to take any hormonal treatments to help because she promised her deceased mother she wouldn't. She's facing some big changes in her life with her lowered sex drive, and therefore, meeting a very attractive woman her age who is asexual sounds like an ideal recipe for romance, until it isn't.

I do particularly hate Cass' constant negative self-talk and deprecating comments about her own body. I get that it's a part of menopause, and she feels badly about herself, but not enough people called her on it, which was disappointing.

Estelle is dealing with grief, a weird math problem, and (about thirty mentions of the exact phrase "scars on my heart") romance issues because all her past partnerships have started off great but ended up wanting more than she is willing to give because she is asexual. The math problem and her being black don't really play into much in the plot, so I'll say again that I'm annoyed with POCs being added to books when you could swap them out for non-POC characters and nothing about them or the plot would change. That said, the old third act break-up did indeed get me in the feels, which doesn't happen that often, so I'll over look any of the issues above and say that this was an enjoyable look at what, on paper, should be an ideal romance betwene two people who are struggling with a very low sex drive, but ends up being a bit more interesting than that.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about 2 menopausal women. Yet Harper Bliss manages to put some sexiness to the mix. Even though one of the women is asexual and the other one is expierencing a severe dry spell due to her loss of libido, there is chemistry and connection. Kudos to Harper for making such a lovely story about such a complex topic.

It was nice to read about these women discovering intimacy together in their own unique ways. It also made me think about what being asexual truly means and what it can be like to have an asexual partner. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be unable to give your partner sexual pleasure and to keep yourself at bay in the heat of the moment. It must also be hard to be asexual in this sexually charged world.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great book from Harper bliss! Estelle and Cass form a connection when Estelle moves back to town following the death of her father. They are both drawn to each other straight away and start to date. This book explores what romance looks like when the people involve have different preferences, as one of the woman is going through the menopause and the other is Asexual. For me this author can do no wrong

[3DKing]

The complete third act made me angry. 2/3 of the book are fantastic. Ace Rep MC and a 0/low libido menopause MC, who struggles with her self. The romance was hesistant, nice, full of fumbles and great communication. Like teenagers with adult communication skills.

And then the third act took a giant steaming dump on all that. It's not even THAT unreasonable for their relationship to have struggles, but the way it plays out really didn't sit well with me.

No rating to be fair, since I'm a minority with my grievances.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love books! I love everything the author brings to me, but even more, I love how each reader, specifically how I, interact(s) with the book to create a unique experience. Each reader's history shapes how they see the book and what they take in from the book.
This is a book with a great story about two women who are very different. They are both older (50ish). Cass is a chef with a great group of friends. Estelle, a math professor, has come "home" to bury and grieve her father. At first conversation, they think they are compatible. They definitely feel a connection. But all is not simple when two people have a lifetime of experiences that say they are lacking; that say they are not enough.
At its heart, I think this is a book about acceptance, about accepting what someone tells you about themself. A relationship is doomed if one partner hopes or wants to change the other. And this relationship nearly meets that fate. As Estelle says: "The idea of love has always been easier in theory than in practice. In theory, I believe in soulmates. In deep, long-lasting connection. In the certainty of knowing someone sees you—really sees you—and chooses you anyway."
The particulars about these characters serve to drive home that when someone tells you who they are, believe them. Cass is menopausal and has some body issues (ok, who in this beauty and youth obsessed culture does not?) Estelle is asexual. The question for them becomes is love enough? Again in Estelle's words: "There were so many obstacles and sometimes love isn't enough, you know?"
I've always found Bliss' books to not shy away from deeper, hard topics. This one certainly doesn't.
Read it for the story, or read it to learn about people older than you, or read it to learn about people who are different from you. This book has plenty for you to connect with!
Thanks to the author for the gifted copy. All opinions are my own.

[Jacqueline Halle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This Is Who I Am is a wonderful new addition to the Blissverse universe of stories.

While this can be read as a standalone, I would 110% recommend reading "And Then She Kissed Me" immediately before it. You'll first meet Sadie, Devon, Sam, Hunter and Bobby (and Finn!) and get an introduction to the town of Clearwater Bay reading "And Then She Kissed Me".

Both of our FMCs are 49 (Estelle) and 53 (Cass), and this book addresses parental death, aging and older bodies, menopause, an ACE FMC and one of the secondary characters as aromantic. Chapters are set up as dual POVs, which I always love as we get to see the thoughts of both characters and their individual experiences. The book tackles the subjects with grace except the third act bit with Bijou. Literally my only complaint. You'll still want to read this!

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[aspeccharactersoftheday]

Estelle Raymond from This Is Who I Am is asexual!

https://www.tumblr.com/aspeccharacter...

[Guerunche · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I appreciate Bliss branching out and trying something new, the asexual rep made me uncomfortable. I kept wondering how Ace readers would feel about it.

The premise was good, but the execution didn’t feel like it was taken seriously enough. I couldn’t feel good about the conclusion.

Abby Craden did a great job narrating it, but it’s not a book I’d want to read again.

[Fran Sappharc · Rating 3 out of 5]

Certainly older, and hit it over your head older, mains than many novels. (Thankfully they do exist!). To be honest I’m not sure how I feel about that, (the hit you over the head, not the older!) I’m of the age, passed menopause, so perhaps I don’t remember, or it wasn’t as all encompassing or maybe in my novels I don’t want it to be as all encompassing as this is. I’m only 20% in, so we will see if I or it settles.
30% and I am no more settled. I guess you could say I am like the mains, unsure what is happening and therefor unsettled. However I may be judging the book unfairly because Bliss normally has me hooked from the beginning, but a third of the way in, I am not hooked…. In fact I would say barely attached. 38% and I still feel the same. I think I am distracted by the fact one character is Ace. If things develop, will it feel like a betrayal? The whole intimacy but not below waist seems odd (to me with no personal or indeed real life knowledge to compare this to.) Anyway I trust the author so keeping going. Which is worth doing from the living in someone's shoes p.o.v.!
Although I found the p.o.v. chapters not as clear voiced as usual. I would sometimes forget which p.o.v. I was reading.
I even found a secondary character, supposedly "cute convo", with one main a bit…. Boasty….. but I don’t think that is the writer’s intention….. but I am not sure what the point of the scene was…… I’m really beginning to think it’s me…. not the book ‘cos Bliss does not misfire to this extent!
I kept trying different days to see if I felt more in tune with this book. For some reason I am not gelling. Possibly because I think Bliss is setting out telling rather than showing with these characters, possibly because neither is that common in most wlw romances but it is still just missing for me. I am persevering because Bliss normally does the whole emotional truths bits so I am still hopeful.
I am pleased both mains stay true to their challenges, menopausal and asexual with partners that aren’t, but this one didn’t speak to me in the way others have. Naturally there were great Bliss bits, the first intimate scene, it pretty much got the emotion and the heat wasn’t from a hot flush! A 3 from me.
Perhaps, my issue is that getting older just...... was! It wasn’t everything….. Although I do remember conversations, mainly about the inconvenience and practicalities, especially those of us that wore spectacles, or inconvenient emotions at work….. also aka a lower tolerance for accepting stupidity from bosses and colleagues! There was also more humour among my chums.... tho perhaps that is rose tinted glasses rather than flush foggy glasses!

[Marley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I want to like this book so much more than I did. I loved the older . characters, always one of the best things about the BlissVerse. Characters I can relate to and really connect. The book was going so well, getting to know Cass and Estelle, Seeing Devon, Sadie, Hunter, Bobby, Susie and Finn again. But then we got to the third act ICK 🤮! Cass and Estelle were already struggling, and after everything we experienced with them and learned about them to add the ICK complication in their story really messed up the momentum of the story for me. I Went from being invested to not particularly liking them or wanting to see how it ended. I did finish, but sadly couldn't find A warm or happy feeling in the final chapters. I do think this is specifically my reaction to an event. Things like what happened always take me out of the story. Harper Bliss has so many great books, this one just doesn't sit well.

[Meredith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Loved the rep but what was that plot 😭
i felt like it had no substance and that a lot of things mentioned (except ofc the main points like sexuality and menopause) were touched upon lightly. It was stagnating and just going on and on about the same thing. Also, the Bijou part was a bit iffy and i hated the way it all played out.
I was excited to read rep like this, but it couldn't have been carried out in a more boring way.

[zb · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favourite Harper Bliss novel yet! 4.5/5 stars, rounded up!

In her promotional materials, Harper Bliss posed the following query with regards to the ‘recipe’ of this latest ‘BlissVerse’ novel, This Is Who I Am:

Asexual Woman + Menopausal Woman = ???

I’d like to posit that the answer is, simply: Roaring success.

The leads: Cass, head chef and restauranteur, is someone used to being in control—except menopause has hit her like a freight train, her changing body has her convinced that love, like her libido, is a thing of the past. Estelle, an extremely talented mathematician, is burnt out and grieving the loss of her father—contentedly asexual, she’s no longer interested in changing herself to fit anyone else's idea of love: she’s been hurt too many times, now wary of the way love so often has demanded she be someone she isn’t. Both have built extremely thick walls. They shouldn't work… or so they think at first…

Cass—a woman who loves intently but fears she’s not enough—awakens a desire for connection Estelle thought she’d buried.
Estelle—a woman who refuses to compromise herself, who she is—makes Cass question everything she thought she knew about passion.

They work, in their own way, on their own terms.

In preparation for reading This Is Who I Am, I read And Then She Kissed Me immediately before it. That was a very wise move on my part (if I do say so myself) as it significantly enhanced my enjoyment of this novel. This one can be read as a stand-alone novel but you’ll get so much more out of it when you are (intimately) familiar with the previously-introduced characters of Clearwater Bay — their dynamics, loves and history.

This is one of the freshest sapphic romance novels I’ve read in a long time. I loved it. It’s a beautifully touching, messy story of two women with deep scars finding love and acceptance for who they are, as they are: finding that (and so much more) in the most unexpected of circumstances as their worlds—hurts, anxieties, fears, pains, wants, boundaries, expectations, preconceived notions, and passions—repeatedly collide.

My one quibble with This Is Who I Am:
I’ll be honest, the third-act-breakup Bijou rebound-drunk-sex plot beat irked me - I don’t think it was particularly well sold, with the characters as depicted (weakest aspect of the story, which compromised the inevitable reconciliation later): there’s no way Cass was in a fit state to consent to anything (as shown on page, she was extremely drunk and Bijou most certainly wasn’t); I don’t believe for a second that Sadie (nor any of the rest of them) would have tolerated Bijou’s predatory actions. That nobody commented on this (Estelle included!!) was more than a bit iffy, to me — it didn’t sit right (regardless of how Cass felt about it in the morning and weeks after — she was, after all, devastated over losing Estelle).

That blemish aside, this is EASILY my favourite Harper Bliss novel; its underlying themes of trust, compassion, acceptance and compromise—that you don’t get/need everything you want (respecting boundaries and having yours respected) in a relationship—that love comes in many forms, that love isn’t always about reciprocity—it’s about trust, acceptance, and finding comfort in the unexpected.

I really hope we get to return to Clearwater Bay in the future (book 3, pretty please?) - these characters are all amazing and I have no doubt it’ll be another knock-out!!!

Note: I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Nikki · Rating 2 out of 5]

2⭐

I’ll be honest: the concept of this book is beautiful. A woman going through menopause and struggling with body changes falling for someone who is asexual is not something you see often in romance, and it genuinely intrigued me. Sadly, the execution didn’t fully work for me.

Cass is a top chef in a small coastal town, dealing with menopause and the way it has changed her relationship with her body and intimacy. Estelle has just lost her father and temporarily moves into his house to sort through his belongings, where she meets Cass. Cass’s previous relationship ended because of her loss of sexual desire, while Estelle carries her own wounds from repeatedly feeling like she was “not enough” for partners in the past.

There is real emotional weight in this setup, and that’s the main reason this isn’t a one-star read. The conflict is strong: both characters have individual struggles, and their relationship also comes with its own challenges. That part was genuinely well done and had a lot of potential.

The problem is that I never truly connected with either character. I wanted to care, I really did, but they both felt oddly distant. Beyond their one defining struggle each, they didn’t feel fully formed to me. I don’t feel like I actually know Cass or Estelle, and that made it hard to become emotionally invested in their relationship.

That said, Estelle’s asexuality felt thoughtfully handled. I appreciated how open and clear she was about her boundaries and what she could and couldn’t offer in a relationship. The honesty, the fear, and the vulnerability around that part of her identity were some of the strongest elements in the book.

Another issue for me was the writing at the beginning. It honestly didn’t feel like a Harper Bliss book at all. The first few chapters were a struggle to get through and felt awkwardly written. It does improve later and eventually settles into a more familiar voice, but the rough start definitely affected my overall experience.

I also struggled with the plot itself. Cass is a chef, yet we see very little of her actually living that life. Her restaurant, her passion for cooking, her professional world—it all feels oddly absent. The same goes for Estelle’s storyline. Her grief and her father’s unfinished mathematical problem are introduced but never meaningfully developed. Instead, the story stays almost entirely focused on their emotional issues without giving either character much of a wider life. As a result, everything began to feel repetitive and, honestly, a bit boring.

I don’t think this is a bad book. I do think it just wasn’t for me. The representation of menopause and asexuality is important, thoughtful, and handled with care, and for that alone I think it’s worth picking up. I just wish I had been able to connect more deeply with the characters and the story.

[Kas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book tackles several complex subjects which are experienced very differently by many people. Grief, in Estelle’s case, manifests as disorientation and a sense of disconnection from her previous life, while Cass’s journey through menopause is marked by frustration, vulnerability and a constant renegotiation of her sense of self. The nuanced portrayal of their individual hardships invites readers to appreciate the deeply personal nature of loss and transformation, offering a compassionate lens through which to view the resilience required to move forward. Bliss’s sensitive handling ensures that each woman’s struggle feels authentic, neither diminished nor sensationalised, and ultimately resonates as a testament to the diversity of human experience.

What truly sets this novel apart is its exploration of sexual identity and desire in later life. Estelle’s asexuality is treated with grace—her feelings are not presented as absence or deficiency, but rather as a distinctive and valid expression of intimacy. Through Estelle, the narrative gently upends preconceived notions about connection, reminding us that deep companionship and love can flourish without sexual attraction.

Counterpointed with Estelle’s experience is Cass’s trajectory from menopause-induced loss of libido, a source of shame and frustration, to the surprising reawakening she finds in Estelle’s presence. Cass’s renewed sense of desire is not simply physical; it is the outcome of trust, vulnerability, and emotional attunement. Bliss charts Cass’s rediscovery with honesty, showing that sexuality is dynamic and can evolve in unexpected, beautiful ways.
By interweaving Estelle’s asexuality and Cass’s journey to rekindled desire, the story deftly illustrates the myriad forms that intimacy may take. Their relationship becomes a tapestry woven from honesty, acceptance, and new beginnings—proof that love’s possibilities are as boundless and individual as those who seek it.

I truly hope that we get to read much more about these two women (a sequel perhaps?) as I would love to see how their relationship grows and evolves over time!

This is an honest Advance Reader Copy review.

[Fiona Sawyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Who I Am is the latest installment from Harper Bliss' Blissverse and tells a beautiful story of two women working towards overcoming their fears, learning self-acceptance and coming to terms with queer identity. Harper Bliss is the queen of writing mature characters and reading about Cass Little and her battle with her menopause symptoms brought this story very close to home for me. I could totally relate to her character.

Cass Little is the head chef in her restaurant in Clearwater Bay and absolutely loves her job and her friends. However her battle with menopause hit her hard with the hot flushes and weight gain leaving her struggling to accept her body while her libido has disappeared altogether. Meanwhile Estelle Raymond has returned to Clearwater Bay following the death of her father and to escape her life of expectations, including her job as a mathematics professor. Estelle is completely comfortable with her asexuality but, after many failed relationships, is wary of how any future partner would react. Both women have decided that relationships are no longer on the table. However, when the two women meet there is a definite connection drawing them further into each others orbits.However, there are a lot of fears and old wounds which will get stirred up and there is a long road to travel to find the trust and acceptance that will be required if they are to succeed.

I loved both of the characters and their messy, complicated lives as well as the other characters who supported them and encouraged them both in good times and their struggles. It was also lovely to return to other characters from the BlissVerse universe.

I always look forward to new books coming from Harper and this one definitely didn't disappoint. If you're looking for a heartwarming romance involving two mature women on a journey to self-acceptance then you are going to love this book.

I am grateful to Harper Bliss for providing me with an ARC copy of This si Who I Am and am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Emma Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Arc review)
An easy ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ rating!

Before diving into ‘This Is Who I Am’ I revisited ‘And Then She Kissed Me’ and I’m so glad I did. It gave me a deeper appreciation for the beautiful setting of Clearwater Bay and introduced me to many of the key side characters in this book, including the Ireland siblings.

This book blew my mind in lots of ways! 🤯 On one hand it was a riveting love story about two beautifully flawed women who each have their own talents, passions, challenges and insecurities. Their instant connection, curiosity and companionship makes for a wonderful read. ♥️

On the other hand, this book also made me feel ignorant at times. Ignorant to the difficulties Ace people face when coming out and also some ignorance to the level of confusion that it can cause those who are romantically pursuing them. I loved that this book faces into the raw emotions, the confusion, and the insecurities that come along with feeling inadequate or less than. This story will do great things to bring awareness to asexuality and the spectrum that sits under such a broad umbrella. 🙌🏼

It was also incredibly refreshing to see menopausal women represented in a much deeper way than simply needing to keep a bottle of lube in the bedside table! 👏🏼 It goes beyond the hot flashes and night sweats (although they are present in all their grim glory!) and gives readers a glimpse of the moods, insecurities and complete loss of control that sometimes accompanies women at this point in their lives.

But more than anything, this book is truly about acceptance. ♥️ Accepting ourselves and our partners for who we truly are. The good, the bad and the sometimes ugly.

To wrap up, this book IS different to Harper’s other books and yet it’s also quintessentially Harper 🤷🏻‍♀️ - pushing boundaries and raising awareness. 🙌🏼

On a lesser but equally important note, this book seriously needs to come with a hunger trigger warning! I was hungry by chapter 2 and I’m really craving a Black Forest soufflé now… 🤤

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This Is Who I Am definitely feels like a Harper Bliss novel but it had some surprising characters and tropes that hooked me in a different way. First we get to see a group of ladies going through menopause which is not something you usually see in a romance novel, because there’s nothing romantic about hot flashes and night sweats! Not only is our main love interest chef Cass Little menopausal but so are many of her friends. Her best friend Suzy Ireland is a menopause life coach. Yes, the Irelands feature as prominent side characters so we get to see more of Sadie Ireland and her partner Devon from And Then She Kissed Me. They are a couple of my favorite characters from the Blissverse so I was thrilled to see them.

Our other main love interest is Estelle Raymond who has returned to town to deal with her late father’s estate. Estelle is asexual, which for her means she doesn’t feel sexual desire and doesn’t want to be touched in a sexual way, but she has no problem being a giver in the bedroom and pleasuring her partner. I liked seeing this insight into the asexual spectrum. Estelle has had her heart broken too many times to count because her partners always end up wanting what she can’t give them and she feels like she is never enough.

This was a fun quick read for me but it also had just the right amount of emotional conflict. The only thing I didn’t care for was the way the third act breakup resulted in an encounter I wasn’t expecting for Cass to have. Even though it wasn’t for me, it probably helped the happily ever after seem more real.

One of the highlights for me was all the delicious food descriptions. Cass is a successful chef and restaurant owner and I really wanted to visit her restaurant Savor. Estelle commented that food is her sex and even the way she ate food was sensual.

I definitely recommend This Is Who I Am. Harper continues to impress and surprise me with the characters she chooses to write about. This was another enjoyable read in the Blissverse.

[Nadine Stamminger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Im madly in love with this book. I feel so seen! I (with 37) might not be exactly the age of our 2 main protagonists in this book but its so refreshing to read about characters that go through struggles. Struggles about finding the right “box” for their sexuality, about learning that your kind of don’t need to put yourself in a box and just live the live you want to live. About body struggles because of how many books did I read where a character is not perfect, I can’t remember but it hasn’t been many!
We met Cass Little a woman in her 50s who started over as restaurant owner in Clearwater Bay and Estelle Raymond who just returned to Clearwater Bay after the death of her father. Along the book we see these to ladys catching feelings for each other, while struggling everyday problems like menopause, weight gain, libido lost and failed relationships in the past.
My favorite part about the book is to see how they go trough all their struggles together, how they support the other and show the other what an amazing person they see in each other
Harper Bliss is also the Queen of revisiting beloved characters in this book we meet again with the Ireland siblings. Mainly Sadie Ireland and her wife Devon from “And Then She Kissed Me”.
As always with a Harper Bliss book I barely couldn’t put the book down and by the end of the book I already craved more (pun intended because this book involves a lot of foooooddd!)
I absolutely love the writer style of Harper Bliss and realized how much I want to read more books with “regular” people, who are far from perfect, who are messy and have problems and not the picture perfect live style.

[JP Munroe · Rating 5 out of 5]

“This is Who I Am” is truly original yet thoroughly Harper Bliss and a gorgeous addition to her Blissverse. I was delighted by the appearance of multiple characters from other novels, but this book stands alone and is a brave departure from Bliss’s usual romances. As a result it really is something quite special.

Characters going through menopause have become quite fashionable in sapphic romance. Older MC’s often appear to breeze through menopause “hotter” (pardon the pun) and hornier than ever with the odd hot flush and aching joint after a marathon sex session with their new usually younger lover! Not Cass and the other ‘meno-bitches’ in “This is Who I Am”! Bliss rips off the rose tinted reading glasses to give her readers a realistic, honest (and frankly) refreshing representation of this often devastating and confusing transition period. Yet Bliss still creates a heartwarming and fulfilling romance.

Add to this the gorgeous Estelle, through whom Bliss renders truly sensitive and thoughtful Asexual representation. This romance avoids sensationalising or fetishising people on the ACE spectrum. There is no ‘healing’, sudden epiphany or self-discovery - just the réalisation of the need for acceptance, compassion and compromise over things we cannot (and should not) be expected to change about ourselves

“This is Who I Am” is one of Bliss’s best novel to date. It’s funny, heartwarming and brutally honest with wonderful characters who will stay with you long after the final page has been turned.

[B, · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like her previous sapphic romances, Harper Bliss’s latest release, This Is Who I Am, is an engaging, well-crafted story. Bliss has an all-star reputation for presenting dynamic, multidimensional characters in compelling scenes l, thoughtfully constructed, for a worthwhile reading experience.

Here, the characters are older, each dealing with grief and loneliness from failed relationships and lost loved ones.

I easily identified with Cass’s concerns — menopause and the consequential loss of libido, and, ultimately, of her relationship. Despite her continuing love for Sarah, Cass has to acknowledge their interests are no longer aligned, so she’s especially sad when she knows Sarah must move on.

But This Is Who I Am stands apart from the dozens of other Harper Bliss books that I’ve read. Bliss’s treatment of Estelle’s asexuality is what makes this novel exceptional. Estelle’s forthright, assertive, and unapologetic discussions with Cass about being ace are — even in sapphic literature — well, novel.

At least to me they were.

I’m grateful to Bliss for pushing me to admit my heretofore attitudes about asexuality — perceptions and opinions of aces as simply celibate, sexually traumatized, or woefully unaware of what they’re missing; attitudes I’m extremely embarrassed about.

As is typical, Harper Bliss commendably delivered me a few hours of satisfying reading. Gratefully, though, it offered so much more: I sincerely can credit Bliss for expanding my world and elevating who I am.

[Mandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

So as an asexual lesbian who has also gone through (early) menopause I was so excited to read the blurb of Harper’s latest book & even more excited to get an ARC (voluntary review in exchange).
It’s so great to see Ace rep in books and I especially like seeing this in Sapphic books - but I don’t think this quite hit the mark.

It’s a romance between Estelle, late 40’s, asexual & Cass 50, going through menopause.

I really did like the book, I love all of Harper’s books, I’m sure she cannot write a bad book, however in my opinion this book was not written for Asexuals to read. For a book with an Ace character there was a lot of emphasis on their sexual relationship.

Cass appears to be a very sexual person, Estelle is very clear that she is very happy to give but not receive, however some elements here really made me cringe. Some of how Cass treated Estelle made me feel uncomfortable.

The couple clearly had different sexual needs, but then the third act break up happened (don’t even ask me about Bijou!) and when they got back together the issue around sex was not really addressed.

Finding a matching partner as an asexual person is difficult and there was a lot of red flags which I feel were swept aside, it was like the book ran out of space to explain how Cass & Estelle overcame their differences.

I’m very interested to know how many Ace people read the book in the editing process.

[Nia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a little different from her other books.
Not because it's bad or anything; Harper Bliss can't write bad books.
I found Estelle particularly interesting as a character, but also difficult. She starts out sweet and interesting and a great character with a lot of complexity, but her stubborn attitude and negative expectations made it a bit difficult to identify with her. Even though she has every reason to!
With Cass, it's the opposite; she's warm-hearted, an excellent cook, and is struggling terribly with menopause. But I would love to spend time with her and cook.
They're both great at first, but then the challenges begin.
You think they're made for each other, but people are complicated, and it's certainly harder for asexual people to find a partner.
That's how it's presented here, and it seems completely believable to me.
I have no experience with asexuality and found it very interesting to read about it again in a romance novel, especially when the other person is sexually active. I think it's very realistic with these themes. Not a typical love story, but still with some drama and heartbreak. The struggle of women with menopause and the associated changes was beautifully portrayed and is such an important topic! Once again, something completely unexpected, but very good!
Thanks so much for the ARC!

[Jeimy · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a perimenopausal lesbian on the asexual spectrum, I was initially excited by the premise of This Is Who I Am. The representation held promise—mature sapphic characters navigating menopause, asexuality, grief, and self-acceptance. Unfortunately, while the intent was admirable, the execution left me underwhelmed.

Both Cass and Estelle are written with relatable and resonant identities, but their emotional wounds are revisited so frequently that the narrative feels stagnant. The plot moves in circles—Cass fixates on her perceived undesirability post-menopause and body changes, while Estelle grapples with being misunderstood and unseen in her asexuality. These are deeply valid struggles, but the repetition became more tedious than illuminating.

What could have been a nuanced exploration of queer identity and intimacy instead leans heavily on exposition. The novel tells us over and over what the characters are feeling rather than showing us through layered interactions or evolving dynamics. The result is a story that feels emotionally one-note, even when touching on rich and complex themes.

I truly appreciated what Bliss was trying to do with this book, but I was left wishing for a subtler hand and a more varied emotional palette.

[Debbie Fahlman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harper Bliss has written a book that we older women can relate to. On top of that fact, she incorporated 2 factors that can be confusing to some.
Harper managed the topic of asexual and aromantic genre very well with the explanation from the characters’ words.

The primary main characters, Cass, a woman who owns her own restaurant, and Estelle who has resigned from teaching at Berkeley university, and returned to the place she grew up, Clearwater Bay.

Added to the mix are the secondary characters, Sadie, Suzy, Hunter, Devon, and Bobby. Each of them adds to the plot and add humor with a little bit of seriousness to every situation.

This book covered many topics from the characters having low self esteem to body image problems & insecurities.

Ms. Bliss has written a book that you’re going to want to read to see how it all works out. The book is beautifully written and keeps you turning the pages to see how all of this works out!

I received an ARC from the author.

[Dyanna Rendeiro · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a different book from Harper Bliss, but no less well-written. Harper Bliss has written on a wide range of topics and certainly doesn't shy away from tackling controversial and unexplored topics, about that, this book is no different, and i admire her for that.
Cassie is fifty-three and menopausal, and Estelle is forty-nine and asexual. Estelle always eats at Cassie's restaurant, and sparks fly. I love that the book is set in Clearwater Bay, the BlissVerse is a must read for me and and i love to see more of Sadie and Devon! This book has a strong representation of middle-aged women in menopause and ace people, and navigates the challenges of menopause and a relationship between an ace person and a sexual person. They certainly face challenges, but as we read on, we'll find out if they'll have the happy ending they've always dreamed of. Enjoy!
I receveid a ARC for a honest review.