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Consequence #1
The Consequence of Loving Colton
My name is Milo Caro and I have a confession to make.
I’ve been in love with Colton Mathews since I was five. He should have known that sharing a cookie with a sugar obsessed little monster would do the trick–it sealed his fate. So really, the fact that he’s sporting a black eye, a limp, almost got ran over by a car, and was nearly responsible for another person’s death? Right. HIs fault. Not mine.
I made a pact with myself–this weekend would be different. I’d come home for my brothers wedding, smile, and Colton would naturally melt into my arms, we’d get married have five kids, live in a house by the river, and get a dog named scratch (clearly I’ve thought this through).
What really happened? I punched my brother in the face, Colton kissed me and apologized, I lied about having a boyfriend, oh and everyone wants to meet the mystery man.
They say laughter always comes before insanity–ha, ha. All I wanted was my brother’s best friend…instead I’m sitting in prison.
Let this be a lesson to you all…life rarely happens the way you want it to.
Damn cookie.
I’ve been in love with Colton Mathews since I was five. He should have known that sharing a cookie with a sugar obsessed little monster would do the trick–it sealed his fate. So really, the fact that he’s sporting a black eye, a limp, almost got ran over by a car, and was nearly responsible for another person’s death? Right. HIs fault. Not mine.
I made a pact with myself–this weekend would be different. I’d come home for my brothers wedding, smile, and Colton would naturally melt into my arms, we’d get married have five kids, live in a house by the river, and get a dog named scratch (clearly I’ve thought this through).
What really happened? I punched my brother in the face, Colton kissed me and apologized, I lied about having a boyfriend, oh and everyone wants to meet the mystery man.
They say laughter always comes before insanity–ha, ha. All I wanted was my brother’s best friend…instead I’m sitting in prison.
Let this be a lesson to you all…life rarely happens the way you want it to.
Damn cookie.
304 pages, ebook
First published April 21, 2015
750 people are currently reading
5617 people want to read
About the author
Rachel Van Dyken
169 books18.4k followersRachel Van Dyken is the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestselling author of regency and contemporary romances.
Hey guys I'm rarely on Goodreads, if you need to reach me feel free to email!
EMAIL ME: rachelvandykenauthor@gmail.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rachel-...
Hey guys I'm rarely on Goodreads, if you need to reach me feel free to email!
EMAIL ME: rachelvandykenauthor@gmail.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rachel-...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,337 reviews
March 31, 2015
3 “Be The Doughnut” Stars
This book was totally not what I expected and part of me wants to say not in a good way sadly. It’s a full blown OVER THE TOP slap stick romantic comedy.
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Milo is the heroine who returns home from college for her brother, Jason’s wedding weekend. Milo has been in love with her brother’s best friend, Colton her whole life.
”I was the little sister he’d never had- and secretly, I’d always wanted to be so much more.”
When the kiss she’s been waiting for her whole life goes bad, her hilarious best friend Max shows up pretending to be her boyfriend/fiancée.
”Jealousy is the easiest way to get someone to admit feelings. Believe me, by the end of this weekend he’s going to be begging for another kiss.”
To be honest, the jokes are never ending as are the extreme ott circumstances as Jason finds that his fiancée is a whore, Max takes one for the team, Reid is assaulted and immature Milo gets her fairy tale ending. A lot of scenes were funny but then just became exhausting.
Somewhere amongst the slap stick humor and immature heroine there is a love story here.
”You’re crazy as hell – but you’re my crazy.”
"Mine. Colt. You've always been mine."
This story is extremely immature and sadly I pushed myself to finish while the part of me was still enjoying it on some level. This is a standalone story with the next book in this series being about another character and dare I say it sounds kind of interesting. So who knows maybe I’ll try it!
Currently a read now:
https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/sho...
ARC provided via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
This book was totally not what I expected and part of me wants to say not in a good way sadly. It’s a full blown OVER THE TOP slap stick romantic comedy.
[image error]
Milo is the heroine who returns home from college for her brother, Jason’s wedding weekend. Milo has been in love with her brother’s best friend, Colton her whole life.
”I was the little sister he’d never had- and secretly, I’d always wanted to be so much more.”
When the kiss she’s been waiting for her whole life goes bad, her hilarious best friend Max shows up pretending to be her boyfriend/fiancée.
”Jealousy is the easiest way to get someone to admit feelings. Believe me, by the end of this weekend he’s going to be begging for another kiss.”
To be honest, the jokes are never ending as are the extreme ott circumstances as Jason finds that his fiancée is a whore, Max takes one for the team, Reid is assaulted and immature Milo gets her fairy tale ending. A lot of scenes were funny but then just became exhausting.
Somewhere amongst the slap stick humor and immature heroine there is a love story here.
”You’re crazy as hell – but you’re my crazy.”
"Mine. Colt. You've always been mine."
This story is extremely immature and sadly I pushed myself to finish while the part of me was still enjoying it on some level. This is a standalone story with the next book in this series being about another character and dare I say it sounds kind of interesting. So who knows maybe I’ll try it!
Currently a read now:
https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/sho...
ARC provided via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
October 30, 2016
Think of the clumsiest girl, sprinkle a little disaster, and add a little awkward and you've got Milo. She has been in love with her brother's bestie, Colton, forever and when she returns home is determined to get him to finally see her. But in her world, things definitely don't ever go as planned. The shenanigans that ensure are absolutely hilarious with quite a bit happening that can be categorized as over the top. You definitely wouldn't be enjoying this for its believability, but laugh out loud you will. I feel terrible for Jason, Milo's brother, because he seems to bear the brunt of her crazy mishaps. This story includes a randy grandmother, a reluctant groom, a stint in jail, black eyes, allergic reactions, a fake engagement and loads more fun. I enjoyed the crazy this family brought into my reading life. Safety: h does kiss a OM several times throughout the story. Not a big fan of this aspect at all. No OW for H though he pretends otherwise for a brief part. No rape or abuse.
June 4, 2015
3.5 Stars
This book is full of shenanigans. It's a bit silly and ridiculous, and while I enjoyed it for a while, it started to get on my nerves a bit...
Milo, our super clumsy, somewhat violent heroine, has spent years pining over her brother's best friend, Colton. He was her dragon slayer, and at 16 she tried kiss him, but he rejects her. Still crushing on him at 21, she's returning home for her brother's wedding, and decides it's finally time to try to move past her feelings. But she wants one thing first.
One kiss and I'd be able to bury my diary along with the rest of my desires for Colton. I just wanted one instance where he saw me as something other than his little sister.
Let the chaos begin. This story was all over the place, a lying fiance, fake relationships, a horny, gun toting grandma, some Star Wars references and a shit ton of accidental injuries. The journey to Milo's HEA was interesting...
This is definitely an over-the-top, silly, romantic comedy. It reminded me of one of those ABC family rom-coms. It was entertaining, and had me laughing a few times, but it was just a little to juvenile for me.
*ARC provided via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
February 8, 2017
WARNING: RANT ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT AHEAD.
The Consequence of Loving Colton was an absolute waste of my time. However, it’s good to know just how terrible it was because it led me to write this review.
Do you see that cover? Do you see it? It looks sweet and romantic, doesn’t it? Calm, nice, and nurturing . . .
Ha! It fooled me!
Let me inform you this book committed cover fraud. The book is a joke. Therefore, so should the cover.
The cover should have featured someone climbing a tree, someone falling off a tree, a red ant army, ping pong up somebody's ass, wedding cake in someone's face, and a pool full of beer and weed. Just something. Something ridiculous.
Girl in love with older brother’s best friend ☑
It’s more like an obsession than love.
Girl has a hot guy best friend who is a womanizer ☑
Oh, woooow, I didn’t see that coming.
A ridiculous story that can’t be called anything else but a parody ☑
That explains it. I should have known from the book blurb, but sometimes I don’t bother reading the whole thing when a friend had read said book.
Wildly entertaining ☑
Don’t get into your head that the book is hilarious to me. There are a few silent-Ha-Ha-in-my-head moments. Then WTF moments. Then this-is-not-funny-at-all-but-thanks-for-trying moments. I never laughed out loud once.
Sexual assault ☑
Lie: Only women are sexually assaulted.
Reality alert: Men are sexually assaulted too.
So this is what happened. It's about the main character Milo's best guy friend and it's supposed to be really funny and shit because the book is more like comedy than romance. Anyways, Max went a bachelorette party for a “mission.” The bride’s friends literally attacked him, tore off his clothes, and left scratches all over his arms before he could escape. When he came back to Colton, Jason, and Milo, he suffered a “humorous” breakdown because he was traumatized and upset about his “manhood.” Apparently, tea and biscuits can do that to you. It was supposed to be comedy for what those women did to him. Newsflash: It is sexual assault. And it’s disturbing as fuck that the audience is supposed to laugh at this. If you don’t think men can get sexually assaulted too, then you need to sit down and learn something.
Let me make this clearer for you: If it was the other way around and we replaced Max with a woman then replaced the women with men, the entire female sex would cry “rape” correct? Am I right? Don’t lie to me. If what had happened to Max happened to Milo, as a female, you would have felt violated. But noooo, since Max is a man and he’s scared of these “harmless” women ripping off his clothes and being women at a bachelorette party, it’s okay.
Here’s the direct paragraph from the book: His shirt was half ripped from his body, he had scratches up and down his arms, his eye looked slightly puffy, and lipstick stained his collar. To add insult to injury I could have sworn he was missing a substantial amount of hair on the right side of his head— and he had a limp.
Here’s my revision: Her shirt was half ripped from her body, she had scratches up and down her arms, her eye looked slightly puffy, and she reeked of cologne. To add insult to injury I could have sworn she was missing a substantial amount of hair on the right side of her head— and she had a limp.
Still don’t get the problem?
Original paragraph: “Then they . . .” Max rubbed his arms. “They touched me, ripped my shirt open, said that I was the only one who understood them, that I wasn’t like those other men and then . . .” His eyes found mine. “They kissed me, like seven of them, all bridesmaids. A few were married. I tried to pull away but they have claws masquerading as acrylics nails. They dug into my skin, and the crazy part, when I tried to run— they liked it.”
My revision: “Then they . . .” Mindy rubbed her arms. “They touched me, ripped my shirt open, said that I was the only one who understood them, that I wasn’t like those other women and then . . .” Her eyes found mine. “They kissed me, like seven of them. A few were married. I tried to pull away but they have claws. They dug into my skin, and the crazy part, when I tried to run— they liked it.”
And to make it even worse, there was this paragraph: I opened my mouth to talk but Colton put his hand over my lips and said softly, “Give him a minute. Victims of this type of assault usually need to be the first to speak. It gives them their power back.”
Victims of this type of assault? VICTIMS OF THIS TYPE OF ASSAULT!
Wow, thank you for fucking enlightening me. As someone who has been sexual harassed physically and verbally and knew people who were sexually assaulted, I really didn’t fucking know that.
If you still don’t understand why mocking sexual assault is insensitive and completely wrong to do, then have fun with your mindset. This is why even though time changes, society doesn’t.
Oh, and let's not forget Grandma in this book.
Because of Rachel's book, I made a new shelf. (Once again.) It's called "you made society hang itself" in consideration to an infamous saying that goes something like "hang society."
Because society, you're all fucked.
ARC given via Netgally in exchange for an honest review.
The Consequence of Loving Colton was an absolute waste of my time. However, it’s good to know just how terrible it was because it led me to write this review.
Do you see that cover? Do you see it? It looks sweet and romantic, doesn’t it? Calm, nice, and nurturing . . .
Ha! It fooled me!
Let me inform you this book committed cover fraud. The book is a joke. Therefore, so should the cover.
The cover should have featured someone climbing a tree, someone falling off a tree, a red ant army, ping pong up somebody's ass, wedding cake in someone's face, and a pool full of beer and weed. Just something. Something ridiculous.
Girl in love with older brother’s best friend ☑
It’s more like an obsession than love.
Girl has a hot guy best friend who is a womanizer ☑
Oh, woooow, I didn’t see that coming.
A ridiculous story that can’t be called anything else but a parody ☑
That explains it. I should have known from the book blurb, but sometimes I don’t bother reading the whole thing when a friend had read said book.
Wildly entertaining ☑
Don’t get into your head that the book is hilarious to me. There are a few silent-Ha-Ha-in-my-head moments. Then WTF moments. Then this-is-not-funny-at-all-but-thanks-for-trying moments. I never laughed out loud once.
Sexual assault ☑
Lie: Only women are sexually assaulted.
Reality alert: Men are sexually assaulted too.
So this is what happened. It's about the main character Milo's best guy friend and it's supposed to be really funny and shit because the book is more like comedy than romance. Anyways, Max went a bachelorette party for a “mission.” The bride’s friends literally attacked him, tore off his clothes, and left scratches all over his arms before he could escape. When he came back to Colton, Jason, and Milo, he suffered a “humorous” breakdown because he was traumatized and upset about his “manhood.” Apparently, tea and biscuits can do that to you. It was supposed to be comedy for what those women did to him. Newsflash: It is sexual assault. And it’s disturbing as fuck that the audience is supposed to laugh at this. If you don’t think men can get sexually assaulted too, then you need to sit down and learn something.
Let me make this clearer for you: If it was the other way around and we replaced Max with a woman then replaced the women with men, the entire female sex would cry “rape” correct? Am I right? Don’t lie to me. If what had happened to Max happened to Milo, as a female, you would have felt violated. But noooo, since Max is a man and he’s scared of these “harmless” women ripping off his clothes and being women at a bachelorette party, it’s okay.
Here’s the direct paragraph from the book: His shirt was half ripped from his body, he had scratches up and down his arms, his eye looked slightly puffy, and lipstick stained his collar. To add insult to injury I could have sworn he was missing a substantial amount of hair on the right side of his head— and he had a limp.
Here’s my revision: Her shirt was half ripped from her body, she had scratches up and down her arms, her eye looked slightly puffy, and she reeked of cologne. To add insult to injury I could have sworn she was missing a substantial amount of hair on the right side of her head— and she had a limp.
Still don’t get the problem?
Original paragraph: “Then they . . .” Max rubbed his arms. “They touched me, ripped my shirt open, said that I was the only one who understood them, that I wasn’t like those other men and then . . .” His eyes found mine. “They kissed me, like seven of them, all bridesmaids. A few were married. I tried to pull away but they have claws masquerading as acrylics nails. They dug into my skin, and the crazy part, when I tried to run— they liked it.”
My revision: “Then they . . .” Mindy rubbed her arms. “They touched me, ripped my shirt open, said that I was the only one who understood them, that I wasn’t like those other women and then . . .” Her eyes found mine. “They kissed me, like seven of them. A few were married. I tried to pull away but they have claws. They dug into my skin, and the crazy part, when I tried to run— they liked it.”
And to make it even worse, there was this paragraph: I opened my mouth to talk but Colton put his hand over my lips and said softly, “Give him a minute. Victims of this type of assault usually need to be the first to speak. It gives them their power back.”
Victims of this type of assault? VICTIMS OF THIS TYPE OF ASSAULT!
Wow, thank you for fucking enlightening me. As someone who has been sexual harassed physically and verbally and knew people who were sexually assaulted, I really didn’t fucking know that.
If you still don’t understand why mocking sexual assault is insensitive and completely wrong to do, then have fun with your mindset. This is why even though time changes, society doesn’t.
Oh, and let's not forget Grandma in this book.
Because of Rachel's book, I made a new shelf. (Once again.) It's called "you made society hang itself" in consideration to an infamous saying that goes something like "hang society."
Because society, you're all fucked.
ARC given via Netgally in exchange for an honest review.
dnf
July 1, 2015And I'm waving the white flag of surrender...
Because I got sick of hearing one of my inner personalities telling another inner personality, "This shit stupid sucks, homie."
DNF @ 27%
I tried, I really did.
I had never read Rachel Van Dyken before, but I had heard good things.
From where I heard those "good things" now eludes me, of course, but anyway...
Yeah, I'm going with "having heard good things at some point."
From somewhere...
This was "Read Now" on Netgalley so I thought, sure, why not?
Because IDIOT.
What.
A.
Shit.
Show.
I would say reading this was like watching the love child of a slap stick comedy and the crappiest of rom coms EVER, but that would be an insult to Paul Blart and Mall Cops everywhere.
*
*
*
*
*
Seriously though, the way people seemed to stumble into constant and ridiculous injury?
Was like watching a devious little Home Alone Kevin McAllister punk Marv and Harry.
I kid you not, at only 27%, not one...not two...not three...but FOUR ice packs were brought forth to treat all the various injuries these people were sustaining.
I was starting to have Icy/Hot collegiate sports flashbacks.
And don't even get me started on Milo.
Or Jayne.
Seriously though, I'm not gonna get started on those two idiots, because I have numerous other things I'd rather be doing besides finishing this book and talking further about these people.
Like clipping my toe nails.
Or picking up the dog shit in my backyard.
****An advance reading copy provided via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.****
Because I got sick of hearing one of my inner personalities telling another inner personality, "This shit stupid sucks, homie."
DNF @ 27%
I tried, I really did.
I had never read Rachel Van Dyken before, but I had heard good things.
From where I heard those "good things" now eludes me, of course, but anyway...
Yeah, I'm going with "having heard good things at some point."
From somewhere...
This was "Read Now" on Netgalley so I thought, sure, why not?
Because IDIOT.
What.
A.
Shit.
Show.
I would say reading this was like watching the love child of a slap stick comedy and the crappiest of rom coms EVER, but that would be an insult to Paul Blart and Mall Cops everywhere.
*
*
*
*
*
Seriously though, the way people seemed to stumble into constant and ridiculous injury?
Was like watching a devious little Home Alone Kevin McAllister punk Marv and Harry.
I kid you not, at only 27%, not one...not two...not three...but FOUR ice packs were brought forth to treat all the various injuries these people were sustaining.
I was starting to have Icy/Hot collegiate sports flashbacks.
And don't even get me started on Milo.
Or Jayne.
Seriously though, I'm not gonna get started on those two idiots, because I have numerous other things I'd rather be doing besides finishing this book and talking further about these people.
Like clipping my toe nails.
Or picking up the dog shit in my backyard.
****An advance reading copy provided via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.****
April 25, 2015
"Because the little boy who had slain all my dragons when I was little- had grown into a man. And I loved him."
Milo is invited to her brother's wedding and she's really anxious about it. Mostly because she's going to face Colton again. Colton is her brother's best friend and her childhood crush. She tried to get over him after an incident a couple of years ago, thinking that she should stop pinning over him, that he would never see her in another way other than 'Jason's little sister'.
Another embarassing scene takes over during that weekend and she decides to claim that she's dating Max, who is in fact her best friend back at college. Max agrees to save her ass and comes over to escort her at the wedding. Things get really complicated, trying to save the groom from the evil bride's claws or from his sister's clumsiness that has goal to eventually send him to the grave or at the very finest to a hospital.
"Be. The. Doughnut."
Ah, this is most likely the case of 'This is not you, this is me.' I can tell that people could really enjoy this book. It's meant to be funny with jokes and incidents that could probably cause someone to giggle or laugh. However, this was not the case with me. I thought that the author tried too hard, that it was a bad parody of events, with poor Jason getting hit repeatedly and men getting assaulted by a bunch of women or even worse the Grandma.. Was this really necessary? I cringed while reading those scenes. Poor poor guy.
I'm sorry but I thought that this book wasn't for me. Too immature and childish, I didn't feel the humour and I was repulsed by the sexual assault that was supposed to be funny. If it was written about women getting sexual assault it wouldn't be so funny, right? So, why when it's about men it's supposed to be? Honestly I don't get it, but maybe I just missed the mark. Oh well.
What I liked was the dragon slaying childhood memories, Max was also my favorite character by far and that's why I will probably be reading his book! The teasing last chapter has me intrigued.
ARC provided via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
April 3, 2015
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Due to my horrific addiction to NetGalley, I saw The Consequence of Loving Colton a week or so ago. My apologies for being so blunt, but I passed it up immediately because that is quite possibly the worst title/cover combo I’ve seen this year and I automatically assumed it would be awful . . . but then Brandi’s review said it was a light rom-com and that’s exactly what I needed so I gave it a shot. And guess what? It didn’t stink! But you know what does? These f-ing trees that are attempting to murder me via sinus drainage.
(Doubt me? Looky here to confirm that these mofos do indeed smell like sperm.)
What better thing to inspire a romance read, right? I figured Colton would be a story my nearly-overdosing-on-Claritin brain could comprehend, but also one I had a good chance of hating . . .
It sure didn’t. Holy crap, I LOVED THIS BOOK. I never “love” romance novels. Heck, I hardly even like ‘em most of the time. I don’t even know who I am anymore. This one just had everything going for it.
1. The “tired trope” plot device of choice was one of my favorites – Milo (obligatory stupid name for a leading character in a romance novel requirement fulfilled) has loved her brother’s bestie Colton for eternity, but she was always just the “little sister” and therefore off limits. Now everybody’s all groweds up and reuniting for the brother’s wedding where Milo plans to finally get over her first love . . . after she gets a kiss out of him.
2. The cavity causer – although this one wasn’t saccharine sweet, it had wonderful little heart melters like the following diary entry written by Milo about Colton when she was a little girl:
“Today we played dragon slayer. He rescued me and then said I was pretty. I hope he means it. Because one day I’m going to marry him. He’s going to be mine forever, and then we’ll play dragon slayer again and it’s going to be real – because everyone knows you’re playing pretend until you get true love’s kiss. And I’m going to get mine. In my castle.”
Awwwwwwww : )
3. Tired trope #2 is hands-down my absolute fave – things don’t go quite as planned so Milo enlists the help of her bestie Max in order to make Colton jealous. I’m such a cheap sell, I love fake love triangles.
4. Hilarity ensued. This book was soooooo over-the-top (which many will find 100% annoying and I get it). For me, it was right place/right time and I cracked up at the slapstick brand of humor and the injuries that everyone (mainly Milo’s poor brother) suffered due to her klutziness. Not to mention her inappropriate granny . . .
My sides still hurt from laughing. Oh, and here’s a confession . . .
TMI? Naaaaaaaah.
5. Fade-to-black sexytimes. A perfectly decent story gets ruined for me so often by squicky sex scenes. I loved that this one didn’t provide graphic details, but just implied the whozits and whatzits instead. Kinda like this guy is doing . . .
The only concern I had was that I was routing for the wrong boy for much of the book. I mean, the title flat out said it was about “Colton,” but Max was the boy I fell for. He was such a great friend, and gorgeous, and hilarious, and sexy, and well . . . .
I know, Pam. I’m disgusted with myself. In the end, though, Milo found her HEA . . .
but was kind enough to leave me with this gem:
“Had I not crushed on Colton all my life, I would probably love Max. But his story . . . I had a feeling it was just beginning.”
Courtnie, you were right! The Consequence of Loving Colton is indeed marked as #1 in the Consequence series and the teaser left for Max’s story has me doing something I never in a billion years imagined I would do. Rachel Van Dyken I loved this book so much I want to break all my own rules and get on my knees and beg you to spam me with a read/review request. You made me feel like a sparkly Tupacicorn and I loved every minute of it!!!!
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!
Due to my horrific addiction to NetGalley, I saw The Consequence of Loving Colton a week or so ago. My apologies for being so blunt, but I passed it up immediately because that is quite possibly the worst title/cover combo I’ve seen this year and I automatically assumed it would be awful . . . but then Brandi’s review said it was a light rom-com and that’s exactly what I needed so I gave it a shot. And guess what? It didn’t stink! But you know what does? These f-ing trees that are attempting to murder me via sinus drainage.
(Doubt me? Looky here to confirm that these mofos do indeed smell like sperm.)
What better thing to inspire a romance read, right? I figured Colton would be a story my nearly-overdosing-on-Claritin brain could comprehend, but also one I had a good chance of hating . . .
It sure didn’t. Holy crap, I LOVED THIS BOOK. I never “love” romance novels. Heck, I hardly even like ‘em most of the time. I don’t even know who I am anymore. This one just had everything going for it.
1. The “tired trope” plot device of choice was one of my favorites – Milo (obligatory stupid name for a leading character in a romance novel requirement fulfilled) has loved her brother’s bestie Colton for eternity, but she was always just the “little sister” and therefore off limits. Now everybody’s all groweds up and reuniting for the brother’s wedding where Milo plans to finally get over her first love . . . after she gets a kiss out of him.
2. The cavity causer – although this one wasn’t saccharine sweet, it had wonderful little heart melters like the following diary entry written by Milo about Colton when she was a little girl:
“Today we played dragon slayer. He rescued me and then said I was pretty. I hope he means it. Because one day I’m going to marry him. He’s going to be mine forever, and then we’ll play dragon slayer again and it’s going to be real – because everyone knows you’re playing pretend until you get true love’s kiss. And I’m going to get mine. In my castle.”
Awwwwwwww : )
3. Tired trope #2 is hands-down my absolute fave – things don’t go quite as planned so Milo enlists the help of her bestie Max in order to make Colton jealous. I’m such a cheap sell, I love fake love triangles.
4. Hilarity ensued. This book was soooooo over-the-top (which many will find 100% annoying and I get it). For me, it was right place/right time and I cracked up at the slapstick brand of humor and the injuries that everyone (mainly Milo’s poor brother) suffered due to her klutziness. Not to mention her inappropriate granny . . .
My sides still hurt from laughing. Oh, and here’s a confession . . .
TMI? Naaaaaaaah.
5. Fade-to-black sexytimes. A perfectly decent story gets ruined for me so often by squicky sex scenes. I loved that this one didn’t provide graphic details, but just implied the whozits and whatzits instead. Kinda like this guy is doing . . .
The only concern I had was that I was routing for the wrong boy for much of the book. I mean, the title flat out said it was about “Colton,” but Max was the boy I fell for. He was such a great friend, and gorgeous, and hilarious, and sexy, and well . . . .
I know, Pam. I’m disgusted with myself. In the end, though, Milo found her HEA . . .
but was kind enough to leave me with this gem:
“Had I not crushed on Colton all my life, I would probably love Max. But his story . . . I had a feeling it was just beginning.”
Courtnie, you were right! The Consequence of Loving Colton is indeed marked as #1 in the Consequence series and the teaser left for Max’s story has me doing something I never in a billion years imagined I would do. Rachel Van Dyken I loved this book so much I want to break all my own rules and get on my knees and beg you to spam me with a read/review request. You made me feel like a sparkly Tupacicorn and I loved every minute of it!!!!
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!
April 30, 2015
4 X's and O's stars
Milo has loved Colt ever since she was the little Princess he saved from the evil Dragons. But being the little sister of the Dragon Slayer's best friend put her off limits; and when she was rejected after their first kiss, he pretty much sealed the deal...she needed to move on, or at least try too. Back home for her brother, Jason's twisted shotgun marriage to the She-Devil, she has to play nice in more ways than one. Milo is a force to be reckoned with, causing destruction and bodily harm along the way ... imagine what the consequences would be when she isn't trying to behave. Backed into a corner, trying to save face, one little lie is all it takes to set off a series of events that make a entirely unforgettable-disastrous weekend.
Operation Get Kissed - Milo's accomplice her best friend Max
For twelve long gruesome hours Max and Milo's relationship has been forced down Colt's throat. One more kiss and Max is as good as dead, he already has his grave marked. He's been doing everything wrong when it comes to Milo lately, scared to man up and risk pushing Milo away for good. When he figures out that there is really no Max and Milo, all hell breaks loose, two can play this game...all he needs is the help of one man, Max.
Max is covering all the bases, playing both sides of Operation Colton and Milo and finding out a way to get Jason out of the evil clutches of the she Devil, he calls in for some reinforcement, his older brother Reid. Jason, Max and Reid deserve a medal for all the shit they had to deal with, after all they're gonna need some therapy to undo what this weekend has done to them. But all is fair in love and war, and the winners this time around are Colt and Milo, luckily for Colt hurricane Milo left him untouched too bad the same can't be said about the others...
The Consequences of Loving Colton was such a fun loving book, full of shenanigans and immature stupidity, and I enjoyed every bit of it. I love to laugh, always looking for reasons to laugh and just enjoy, so it isn't really a surprise that this book worked for me. It was an epic weekend, Colt + Milo gave me the butterflies in my tummy feels, Max was just pure awesomeness in his willingness to be the hero no matter the cost, Jason poor guy got the short end of the stick, tortured by his sister and his fiance and Reid with his out of body interactions with the Grandma were disturbingly hilarious. And while this book came to an end, we were given a peek as to what is coming next and I can't wait! Totally recommended for those who is looking for a good time and can find humor in the little things!
ARC kindly provided by Amazon Publishing, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
***Quotes above are taken from the ARC version of the book and may differ upon publication.
“You’re crazy as hell—but you’re my crazy."
Milo has loved Colt ever since she was the little Princess he saved from the evil Dragons. But being the little sister of the Dragon Slayer's best friend put her off limits; and when she was rejected after their first kiss, he pretty much sealed the deal...she needed to move on, or at least try too. Back home for her brother, Jason's twisted shotgun marriage to the She-Devil, she has to play nice in more ways than one. Milo is a force to be reckoned with, causing destruction and bodily harm along the way ... imagine what the consequences would be when she isn't trying to behave. Backed into a corner, trying to save face, one little lie is all it takes to set off a series of events that make a entirely unforgettable-disastrous weekend.
“Long story,” he grumbled. “But it starts with Milo and ends with her too.”
Operation Get Kissed - Milo's accomplice her best friend Max
“Man, that bus just keeps driving by and your whole family just keeps pushing me under it. Milo, you get that, right? Like I’m going to need psychological help after doing what I’m about to do.”
“Uh-oh, what are you about to do?”
“Save the day. I’ve always wanted to be a superhero.”
For twelve long gruesome hours Max and Milo's relationship has been forced down Colt's throat. One more kiss and Max is as good as dead, he already has his grave marked. He's been doing everything wrong when it comes to Milo lately, scared to man up and risk pushing Milo away for good. When he figures out that there is really no Max and Milo, all hell breaks loose, two can play this game...all he needs is the help of one man, Max.
"I’m not just going to save the damsel—I’m going to rescue her, then I’m going to kiss her, then I’m going to marry her, then I’m going to fight with her, then I’m going to love her again. I’m sure there will be more dragons ahead of us—but we’ve had lots of practice, so I think we’ll be safe.”
Max is covering all the bases, playing both sides of Operation Colton and Milo and finding out a way to get Jason out of the evil clutches of the she Devil, he calls in for some reinforcement, his older brother Reid. Jason, Max and Reid deserve a medal for all the shit they had to deal with, after all they're gonna need some therapy to undo what this weekend has done to them. But all is fair in love and war, and the winners this time around are Colt and Milo, luckily for Colt hurricane Milo left him untouched too bad the same can't be said about the others...
The Consequences of Loving Colton was such a fun loving book, full of shenanigans and immature stupidity, and I enjoyed every bit of it. I love to laugh, always looking for reasons to laugh and just enjoy, so it isn't really a surprise that this book worked for me. It was an epic weekend, Colt + Milo gave me the butterflies in my tummy feels, Max was just pure awesomeness in his willingness to be the hero no matter the cost, Jason poor guy got the short end of the stick, tortured by his sister and his fiance and Reid with his out of body interactions with the Grandma were disturbingly hilarious. And while this book came to an end, we were given a peek as to what is coming next and I can't wait! Totally recommended for those who is looking for a good time and can find humor in the little things!
ARC kindly provided by Amazon Publishing, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.
***Quotes above are taken from the ARC version of the book and may differ upon publication.
September 13, 2015
If I could describe this book in one word it would be...
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!
I haven't laughed so much during a book in a while and when the tears came (still from laughing) I knew I was in trouble :P
This isn't your normal love story because there is no insta love, steamy glances or hot sex. What we have is a big and crazy family and even crazier friends that end up in the same house for the weekend and they each have their on agenda.
Milo wants Colton to see her for something more than his best friends little sister and if she can get a kiss from him even better...but getting that kiss only starts more trouble...
Colton wants to stay away from Milo because she's his best friends little sister and thinks that nobody would approve...but that's proving more difficult then he thought.
Jason (Milo's brother) wants to get out of the marriage he has to go through this weekend because he doesn't love her and only marries her because she told him she was pregnant.
Max (Milo's best friend) poses as her boyfriend in order to make Colton jealous and get him to confess his feelings...but after arriving he realizes that the future bride is a former girlfriend that cheated on him with his brother...Yeah...that's not going to cause more shit :P
Reid is Max's brother and he's brought to help with the evil plan of canceling the weeding.
Mr and Mrs. Caro are Milo's parents and don't let the whole parents act fool you...they are part of the crazy bunch.
Milo's Grandma is also in the picture and lets just say she has an appetite for younger guys :P That is one tough cookie :P
And all this is sprinkle with a lot a jokes and awkward situations :P
Are you keeping up?
Then get your hands on this book and start reading it :P
I know that this type of humor isn't for everybody but what can I say?
Reading this book was like watching a romantic comedy sitcom and I loved every part of it. Rachel Van Dyken did not let me down. Well done!!! :D
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!
I haven't laughed so much during a book in a while and when the tears came (still from laughing) I knew I was in trouble :P
This isn't your normal love story because there is no insta love, steamy glances or hot sex. What we have is a big and crazy family and even crazier friends that end up in the same house for the weekend and they each have their on agenda.
Milo wants Colton to see her for something more than his best friends little sister and if she can get a kiss from him even better...but getting that kiss only starts more trouble...
Colton wants to stay away from Milo because she's his best friends little sister and thinks that nobody would approve...but that's proving more difficult then he thought.
Jason (Milo's brother) wants to get out of the marriage he has to go through this weekend because he doesn't love her and only marries her because she told him she was pregnant.
Max (Milo's best friend) poses as her boyfriend in order to make Colton jealous and get him to confess his feelings...but after arriving he realizes that the future bride is a former girlfriend that cheated on him with his brother...Yeah...that's not going to cause more shit :P
Reid is Max's brother and he's brought to help with the evil plan of canceling the weeding.
Mr and Mrs. Caro are Milo's parents and don't let the whole parents act fool you...they are part of the crazy bunch.
Milo's Grandma is also in the picture and lets just say she has an appetite for younger guys :P That is one tough cookie :P
And all this is sprinkle with a lot a jokes and awkward situations :P
Are you keeping up?
Then get your hands on this book and start reading it :P
I know that this type of humor isn't for everybody but what can I say?
Reading this book was like watching a romantic comedy sitcom and I loved every part of it. Rachel Van Dyken did not let me down. Well done!!! :D
May 20, 2015
4.5 Belly-Laugh-Out-Loud Stars
The Consequence of Loving Colton (TCOLC) is a standalone and is part of the Consequence series by Rachel Van Dyken.
TCOLC is perfect for The Bet series and Rachel Van Dyken fans. You will be laughing non-stop. You better have fresh panties ready because it’s pee-in-your-pants hilarious
I couldn’t get enough.
My abs aches because I laughed so much. Okay that’s a lie. I do not have abs, but I do ache from laughing so much.
Milo is madly in love with Colton. She has been ever since she could remember. Colton is her childhood friend, best friend and her older brother’s best friend. Milo and Colton shared one kiss and that was it.
From that day forward Milo knew Colton would never see her the way she sees him.
Isn’t unrequited love a you know what?
Four years later, Milo is back in town for her brother’s wedding. She has been away for college and hasn’t seen Colton that much, despite how close they use to be growing up.
I completely loved this plot. I loved the unrequited love. I love the brother’s best friend and childhood crush storyline. Oh my gah, it’s so good!
So many things are thrown in and so many things happen. Here’s a tiny recap.
- Gay? College best friend Max
- Slutty grandma < --- every book should have one of these
- Accident prone older brother <--- Totally love
- Crazy bride < --- like really, crazy crazy
You throw all of that into a book and you got a Rachel Van Dyken yummy goodness read. It’s delightful, entertaining and slap-my-face-funny.
I had SUPER good times reading this
Milo is in town for the weekend and she just wants to attend the wedding and go back to school, but when she sees Colton she becomes a mess. Her feelings are all over the place and she doesn’t know how she will survive the weekend.
Colton hasn’t seen Milo in four years and he doesn’t realize how much he missed her until she’s thrown in his face during the weekend, like really she’s thrown in to his face a few times. It’s funny I swear.
Like I said, if you are a fan of The Bet series or you just love Rachel Van Dyken like I do, then read this! You will be aching all over, but in a super good way.
An ARC was provided in exchange for an honest review
AMAZON $3.99 < ---- Totally worth it.
The Consequence of Loving Colton (TCOLC) is a standalone and is part of the Consequence series by Rachel Van Dyken.
TCOLC is perfect for The Bet series and Rachel Van Dyken fans. You will be laughing non-stop. You better have fresh panties ready because it’s pee-in-your-pants hilarious
I couldn’t get enough.
My abs aches because I laughed so much. Okay that’s a lie. I do not have abs, but I do ache from laughing so much.
Milo is madly in love with Colton. She has been ever since she could remember. Colton is her childhood friend, best friend and her older brother’s best friend. Milo and Colton shared one kiss and that was it.
From that day forward Milo knew Colton would never see her the way she sees him.
Isn’t unrequited love a you know what?
Four years later, Milo is back in town for her brother’s wedding. She has been away for college and hasn’t seen Colton that much, despite how close they use to be growing up.
I completely loved this plot. I loved the unrequited love. I love the brother’s best friend and childhood crush storyline. Oh my gah, it’s so good!
So many things are thrown in and so many things happen. Here’s a tiny recap.
- Gay? College best friend Max
- Slutty grandma < --- every book should have one of these
- Accident prone older brother <--- Totally love
- Crazy bride < --- like really, crazy crazy
You throw all of that into a book and you got a Rachel Van Dyken yummy goodness read. It’s delightful, entertaining and slap-my-face-funny.
I had SUPER good times reading this
Milo is in town for the weekend and she just wants to attend the wedding and go back to school, but when she sees Colton she becomes a mess. Her feelings are all over the place and she doesn’t know how she will survive the weekend.
Colton hasn’t seen Milo in four years and he doesn’t realize how much he missed her until she’s thrown in his face during the weekend, like really she’s thrown in to his face a few times. It’s funny I swear.
Like I said, if you are a fan of The Bet series or you just love Rachel Van Dyken like I do, then read this! You will be aching all over, but in a super good way.
An ARC was provided in exchange for an honest review
AMAZON $3.99 < ---- Totally worth it. 
October 14, 2017
THIS WAS WAY TOO FUNNY FOR A ROMANCE BOOK.
This was a lot like the movie My best friends wedding meets The wedding planner.
For me this was just a comedy.
This book was OTT funny!!!!
But it was a problem for me here.
We had no real transitions from scene to scene.
Characters came and went without any acknowledgement other than a conversation shift.
There was little descriptions of events, just tons of dialogue.
Yes, funny but the flow was hard to follow. It was almost impossible at the end when things happened so fast.
They are at one place, then in a room, then in a car, then a bar, then up a tree, then in another room and on and on. We have characters coming left and right without anyone entering a room. They all seemed to be just popping in and cracking a joke.
This was a big problem for the flow of the book.
One liners are great but when the story is just a stand up routine it's hard to read.
Side note: And I would have loved a Max. He stole the show here. "Give me a piece of that, cause he is one hot piece That I would love to have stuffed in my mouth" was really all I kept thinking.
THIS WOULD MAKE A GREAT MOVIE!
But as a book it was a fail for me.
It was just funny with very little romance and some sexual teasers.
Safe with OTT drama and jokes.
Thanks Ashleyjo for the recommendation here.
I had a lot of good laughs.
This was a lot like the movie My best friends wedding meets The wedding planner.
For me this was just a comedy.
This book was OTT funny!!!!
But it was a problem for me here.
We had no real transitions from scene to scene.
Characters came and went without any acknowledgement other than a conversation shift.
There was little descriptions of events, just tons of dialogue.
Yes, funny but the flow was hard to follow. It was almost impossible at the end when things happened so fast.
They are at one place, then in a room, then in a car, then a bar, then up a tree, then in another room and on and on. We have characters coming left and right without anyone entering a room. They all seemed to be just popping in and cracking a joke.
This was a big problem for the flow of the book.
One liners are great but when the story is just a stand up routine it's hard to read.
Side note: And I would have loved a Max. He stole the show here. "Give me a piece of that, cause he is one hot piece That I would love to have stuffed in my mouth" was really all I kept thinking.
THIS WOULD MAKE A GREAT MOVIE!
But as a book it was a fail for me.
It was just funny with very little romance and some sexual teasers.
Safe with OTT drama and jokes.
Thanks Ashleyjo for the recommendation here.
I had a lot of good laughs.
May 21, 2015
I laughed with these characters until my stomach ached and my husband was looking at me like I'd lost my f'ing mind. Hilarious... I'm talking SNL stupid, silly, unimaginable hilarious!
I see a lot of negative reviews about the book being too silly or unbelievable. These are reviewers that probably didn't find Wedding Crashers, Ace Ventura, & the akin funny. This isn't a serious book; it's intended to be absurd, crazy lol funny, okay?!
Note to author: I want my very own Max! Please hurry the hell up with book two, Max's story!!! Please!
I rarely give a 5 star rating, and when I say rarely, I mean like once every 100 or so books do I find writing, character, and plot worthy of 5 stars. That said, I'd give this book triple 5 stars!
There's no way to describe the madness (I mean that in the most loving way) that is this book. So...
Romance? Yep, a very sweet HEA that's constantly friendly interrupted;)
Humor? Yep, balls to the walls!
Kickass characters? Yep, umhum every one of them!
Stellar writing? Yep! Genius! Freaking lmao absurd genius!
Now just go read it. Just don't do it in public if you don't want people to think you're nutso!
I see a lot of negative reviews about the book being too silly or unbelievable. These are reviewers that probably didn't find Wedding Crashers, Ace Ventura, & the akin funny. This isn't a serious book; it's intended to be absurd, crazy lol funny, okay?!
Note to author: I want my very own Max! Please hurry the hell up with book two, Max's story!!! Please!
I rarely give a 5 star rating, and when I say rarely, I mean like once every 100 or so books do I find writing, character, and plot worthy of 5 stars. That said, I'd give this book triple 5 stars!
There's no way to describe the madness (I mean that in the most loving way) that is this book. So...
Romance? Yep, a very sweet HEA that's constantly friendly interrupted;)
Humor? Yep, balls to the walls!
Kickass characters? Yep, umhum every one of them!
Stellar writing? Yep! Genius! Freaking lmao absurd genius!
Now just go read it. Just don't do it in public if you don't want people to think you're nutso!
February 3, 2017
An outrageously funny slap stick romance I will no soon forget.
Milo Caro has been in love with Colton Mathews, her brother’s best friend, since she was five years old. The three of them have been friends, hanging out and getting into trouble since then. But Colton has only ever seen her as his friend’s little sister, one of the guys.
Milo isn’t giving up though. Back home from college for a weekend for her brother’s wedding, she plans on getting Colton to see her for the woman she’s become. When he finally kisses her but apologizes and regrets it, rather than have him think she’s crying because he hurt her, she makes up having a boyfriend.
Max being Milo’s true best friend, decides to take one for the team and heads over to the Cora house to help Milo save face and get into Colton’s pants. Thus starting a weekend of crazy, wacky antics everyone will remember forever.
Colton is having a difficult time sticking with the best friend code. He does not like having Max near Milo. Even though Max mostly acts like Milo’s brother most of the time. He can’t ignore all the PDA between them. Will Colton kiss Milo again and reveal his true feelings for her?
I don’t even know where to start with my review. I knew from the blurb and a few reviews that this book would be funny, and oh boy was it ever. The laughs kept on coming from start to finish. The story reminded me of the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding with a good dose of The Three Stooges slap-stick comedy.
I just adored Milo’s clumsy, quirky character who loves Star Wars and dreams about being a princess who’s carried away to her happily ever after by her own personal Prince Charming/Dragon slayer, A.K.A. Colton.
The romance between them was sweet and cute and completely swoon worthy. Because even in between all the crazy accidents and wild lies, and outrageous behavior these two were meant to be together.
The witty banter wasn’t just between the main characters. There were many secondary ones that had their own funny moments, but I really loved Max. From the start I really liked his unrepentant, almost unfiltered, inappropriate confident self. He’s a sexy oddball who I can’t wait to read more about.
The book is full of wackiness, with a fast pace and so easy to read through. There are so many highlights I would love to share that made me laugh, smile and sigh. I very much look forward to reading the next book in this series and more books from this incredibly funny and talented author.
The Consequence of Loving Colton is the first book in the Consequence series by Rachel Van Dyken. It can be read as a standalone. With no cliffhanger and a happy ending.
Amazon US -> http://amzn.to/1LK0kbW
Aunthor's pinterest board -> https://es.pinterest.com/becbibliophi...
* I was given an ARC of this book courtesy of the author via NetGalley. The excerpts are from that copy. *
More reviews * Stalk us on FaceBook * As well as Twitter * Pinterest Board for Book Teasers
Milo Caro has been in love with Colton Mathews, her brother’s best friend, since she was five years old. The three of them have been friends, hanging out and getting into trouble since then. But Colton has only ever seen her as his friend’s little sister, one of the guys.
“I shouldn’t have done that. You’re my best friend’s little sister..."
My mouth dropped open… No way was he pulling the sister card again! One day I was going to find that card, rip it to shreds, put a hex on it, and bury it.” ~ Colton & Milo
Milo isn’t giving up though. Back home from college for a weekend for her brother’s wedding, she plans on getting Colton to see her for the woman she’s become. When he finally kisses her but apologizes and regrets it, rather than have him think she’s crying because he hurt her, she makes up having a boyfriend.
Max being Milo’s true best friend, decides to take one for the team and heads over to the Cora house to help Milo save face and get into Colton’s pants. Thus starting a weekend of crazy, wacky antics everyone will remember forever.
“I’m the best friend… and I don’t care how much you love her… I’m still the best friend, you feel me?”~ Max
Colton is having a difficult time sticking with the best friend code. He does not like having Max near Milo. Even though Max mostly acts like Milo’s brother most of the time. He can’t ignore all the PDA between them. Will Colton kiss Milo again and reveal his true feelings for her?
“I’d rather fight with you, bicker with you, every damn day of my life than have nothing at all… I’d rather be on the receiving end of a black eye from you – than the receiving end of a kiss from another.”
I don’t even know where to start with my review. I knew from the blurb and a few reviews that this book would be funny, and oh boy was it ever. The laughs kept on coming from start to finish. The story reminded me of the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding with a good dose of The Three Stooges slap-stick comedy.
I just adored Milo’s clumsy, quirky character who loves Star Wars and dreams about being a princess who’s carried away to her happily ever after by her own personal Prince Charming/Dragon slayer, A.K.A. Colton.
The romance between them was sweet and cute and completely swoon worthy. Because even in between all the crazy accidents and wild lies, and outrageous behavior these two were meant to be together.
“I love you… I’d freaking go to a Star Wars convention for you… I’d name our first child Luke.”
The witty banter wasn’t just between the main characters. There were many secondary ones that had their own funny moments, but I really loved Max. From the start I really liked his unrepentant, almost unfiltered, inappropriate confident self. He’s a sexy oddball who I can’t wait to read more about.
"I named my penis once too...
Maximus. That was the name, then I realized I was putting undue pressure on my nether parts to perform and it wasn't emotionally fair to do that to my person...
Now it's just Max Jr... Or if you're picky, Big M."
The book is full of wackiness, with a fast pace and so easy to read through. There are so many highlights I would love to share that made me laugh, smile and sigh. I very much look forward to reading the next book in this series and more books from this incredibly funny and talented author.
The Consequence of Loving Colton is the first book in the Consequence series by Rachel Van Dyken. It can be read as a standalone. With no cliffhanger and a happy ending.
Amazon US -> http://amzn.to/1LK0kbW
Aunthor's pinterest board -> https://es.pinterest.com/becbibliophi...
* I was given an ARC of this book courtesy of the author via NetGalley. The excerpts are from that copy. *
More reviews * Stalk us on FaceBook * As well as Twitter * Pinterest Board for Book Teasers
August 5, 2016
| ARC kindly provided by Amazon Publishing via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you a lot! |
|2.5 stars|
Blurb: My name is Milo Caro and I have a confession to make.
I’ve been in love with Colton Mathews since I was five. He should have known that sharing a cookie with a sugar obsessed little monster would do the trick–it sealed his fate. So really, the fact that he’s sporting a black eye, a limp, almost got ran over by a car, and was nearly responsible for another person’s death? Right. HIs fault. Not mine.
I made a pact with myself–this weekend would be different. I’d come home for my brothers wedding, smile, and Colton would naturally melt into my arms, we’d get married have five kids, live in a house by the river, and get a dog named scratch (clearly I’ve thought this through).
What really happened? I punched my brother in the face, Colton kissed me and apologized, I lied about having a boyfriend, oh and everyone wants to meet the mystery man.
They say laughter always comes before insanity–ha, ha. All I wanted was my brother’s best friend…instead I’m sitting in prison.
Let this be a lesson to you all…life rarely happens the way you want it to.
Damn cookie.
I'm going to make this really quick because I'm sleepy as hell.
This book wasn't at all what I expected.
I was expecting some drama, some angst, sexy times and lots of cry.
What I got were hilarious moments that, fast, became annoying. Let's say that too many "funny" moments can make you want to stab yourself while laughing.
It just... the characters were all over the top! It was way too ridiculous.
Milo was such immature girl I just wanted to get in the book and slap some sense into her. Colton was a complete turn off. This man was so stupid I couldn't even handle it. Jason, Milo's brother was dumb beyond any help and Max. Oh, Max was terrific at the begining, the only person who was making it for me but then he just... The whole thing was arg!
The first half of the book I was laughing but I had to make myself go through the second half because it was too much. The situations they got themselves into were stupid and senseless. Who does that kind of things?
This was a one-time reading and I'm going to forget about it.
|2.5 stars|
Blurb: My name is Milo Caro and I have a confession to make.
I’ve been in love with Colton Mathews since I was five. He should have known that sharing a cookie with a sugar obsessed little monster would do the trick–it sealed his fate. So really, the fact that he’s sporting a black eye, a limp, almost got ran over by a car, and was nearly responsible for another person’s death? Right. HIs fault. Not mine.
I made a pact with myself–this weekend would be different. I’d come home for my brothers wedding, smile, and Colton would naturally melt into my arms, we’d get married have five kids, live in a house by the river, and get a dog named scratch (clearly I’ve thought this through).
What really happened? I punched my brother in the face, Colton kissed me and apologized, I lied about having a boyfriend, oh and everyone wants to meet the mystery man.
They say laughter always comes before insanity–ha, ha. All I wanted was my brother’s best friend…instead I’m sitting in prison.
Let this be a lesson to you all…life rarely happens the way you want it to.
Damn cookie.
I'm going to make this really quick because I'm sleepy as hell.
This book wasn't at all what I expected.
I was expecting some drama, some angst, sexy times and lots of cry.
What I got were hilarious moments that, fast, became annoying. Let's say that too many "funny" moments can make you want to stab yourself while laughing.
It just... the characters were all over the top! It was way too ridiculous.
Milo was such immature girl I just wanted to get in the book and slap some sense into her. Colton was a complete turn off. This man was so stupid I couldn't even handle it. Jason, Milo's brother was dumb beyond any help and Max. Oh, Max was terrific at the begining, the only person who was making it for me but then he just... The whole thing was arg!
The first half of the book I was laughing but I had to make myself go through the second half because it was too much. The situations they got themselves into were stupid and senseless. Who does that kind of things?
This was a one-time reading and I'm going to forget about it.
June 5, 2015
What happens when the boy you grew up with steals your heart but sees you as nothing but his friend’s little sister? Milo is about to return home for her brother’s wedding and face Colton after eighteen months of not seeing him. Wanting nothing more than him to kiss her and fall in love, Milo freaks out when Colton gives her the kiss she wanted but them immediately shuns her with a heart crumpling apology for doing it. What’s a girl to do? Well that’s an obvious one... make up a boyfriend and lie like hell as you dig yourself deeper and deeper into a hole. But a little jealousy might just be what Colton needs to get him to make his move.
So I am a RVD fan so I knew that when this book showed up on NG I was going to keep my fingers crossed that I’d get approved. I did. I then immediately started to read – not even looking at the blurb – just dove right in. The first say, 75%, of this book was absolute perfection. The back and forth between Milo and Colton, the accidental black eyes... the chemistry... the confusions and misunderstandings... I loved it all. Milo was awkward and it was so obvious that Colton was hiding a major crush on his best friend’s little sister. But I do have to say the last 25% got a bit out of hand. It was a tad bit over the top for me and where I was once laughing out loud, I was rolling my eyes just a little.
This was a fun read overall although I wanted a bit more of a less sarcastic and crazy ending. I really liked the antics of all of the characters, especially Max. But with each addition of an over the top moment, my interest waned just a bit. A potential for a solid four to a four and a half read did drop down to about a three and a half-ish stars just because of the way I struggled with keeping my attention focused on the last handful of chapters.
For those fans of RVD who loved the humor she mixes in with her stories (like the Bet Series), you’ll enjoy this read.
So I am a RVD fan so I knew that when this book showed up on NG I was going to keep my fingers crossed that I’d get approved. I did. I then immediately started to read – not even looking at the blurb – just dove right in. The first say, 75%, of this book was absolute perfection. The back and forth between Milo and Colton, the accidental black eyes... the chemistry... the confusions and misunderstandings... I loved it all. Milo was awkward and it was so obvious that Colton was hiding a major crush on his best friend’s little sister. But I do have to say the last 25% got a bit out of hand. It was a tad bit over the top for me and where I was once laughing out loud, I was rolling my eyes just a little.
This was a fun read overall although I wanted a bit more of a less sarcastic and crazy ending. I really liked the antics of all of the characters, especially Max. But with each addition of an over the top moment, my interest waned just a bit. A potential for a solid four to a four and a half read did drop down to about a three and a half-ish stars just because of the way I struggled with keeping my attention focused on the last handful of chapters.
For those fans of RVD who loved the humor she mixes in with her stories (like the Bet Series), you’ll enjoy this read.
May 4, 2015
2 stars!
Milo has always been in love with Colton, but he has always seen her as a little sister.
Now, she is away for college studies, but she is coming back home for a few days to attend her brother Jason's wedding.
Colton is Jason's bestfriend, so she knows that she's going to see him again once she gets home .
As soon as she lays her eyes on him, she realizes that the love for Colton hasn't lessen BUT that unfortunately, he hasn't changed his mind about their relationship.
That's why, during an awkward moment, she tells him that she has a boyfriend (who, in reality, is just her bestfriend Max).
When Max comes to the wedding, Colton has to deal with the raging jealousy he feels every time he catches the two of them together. How long will he be able to keep hiding his feelings??
I had many issues with this book and I couldn't even list them all now.
You know when you don't get along with someone, and everything they do annoy you, no matter what?? I think this was the case, I rolled my eyes so many times while reading it and I think that most of the time was just because I couldn't click with this book.
I know it was supposed to be funny, but unfortunately, it wasn't to me. The author tried to much and the result was all over the top.
I didn't connect with any of the characters and I found them really childish and immature. I'm not saying that I don't like this kind of reads, because I do sometimes, but this time it didn't work for me.
But the thing that bothered me the most, was the way they dealt with the sexual assaults of Max and Reid..it was a big NO to me. They all joked about it (except Max and Reid of course), but I didn't find it funny at all. Just because they are, it doesn't mean that they can't be sexually assaulted. This was my BIGGEST issue with this book.
This is the second book I read by this author. I liked the other book I read so I will give a try to another one of her books.
Unfortunately, when I don't receive good vibes from a book from the beginning, 99% of the time it has no chance to redeem itself.
It was hard to write this review and I hope it won't affect your choice to read this book. Unfortunately, this read started off on the wrong foot and I wasn't able to enjoy it more.
I hope you'll enjoy it more than I did in case you give it a go!
Arc kindly provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Milo has always been in love with Colton, but he has always seen her as a little sister.
Now, she is away for college studies, but she is coming back home for a few days to attend her brother Jason's wedding.
Colton is Jason's bestfriend, so she knows that she's going to see him again once she gets home .
As soon as she lays her eyes on him, she realizes that the love for Colton hasn't lessen BUT that unfortunately, he hasn't changed his mind about their relationship.
That's why, during an awkward moment, she tells him that she has a boyfriend (who, in reality, is just her bestfriend Max).
When Max comes to the wedding, Colton has to deal with the raging jealousy he feels every time he catches the two of them together. How long will he be able to keep hiding his feelings??
I had many issues with this book and I couldn't even list them all now.
You know when you don't get along with someone, and everything they do annoy you, no matter what?? I think this was the case, I rolled my eyes so many times while reading it and I think that most of the time was just because I couldn't click with this book.
I know it was supposed to be funny, but unfortunately, it wasn't to me. The author tried to much and the result was all over the top.
I didn't connect with any of the characters and I found them really childish and immature. I'm not saying that I don't like this kind of reads, because I do sometimes, but this time it didn't work for me.
But the thing that bothered me the most, was the way they dealt with the sexual assaults of Max and Reid..it was a big NO to me. They all joked about it (except Max and Reid of course), but I didn't find it funny at all. Just because they are, it doesn't mean that they can't be sexually assaulted. This was my BIGGEST issue with this book.
This is the second book I read by this author. I liked the other book I read so I will give a try to another one of her books.
Unfortunately, when I don't receive good vibes from a book from the beginning, 99% of the time it has no chance to redeem itself.
It was hard to write this review and I hope it won't affect your choice to read this book. Unfortunately, this read started off on the wrong foot and I wasn't able to enjoy it more.
I hope you'll enjoy it more than I did in case you give it a go!
Arc kindly provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
August 27, 2016
Absolutely hilarious.
This book has loads and loads of reviews so I'll keep mine brief.
I knew before I started reading that this was far-fetched, unbelievable and totally unrealistic but funny.
Turns out its hilarious, it really is I can't remember the last book that made me laugh so much. It has some fantastic characters, all of them really but especially Max, totally loved Max.
I don't give 5 stars often or easily but this book is an absolute delight and had me laughing like crazy.
July 21, 2015
3.5 Storm My Castle Stars
To me this book is like a Will Ferrell movie, in that sometimes the comedy and shenanigans were hilarious and working so well that at one point I was thinking ‘this is the best NA book I’ve read this year’ but then later it was so OVER THE TOP and the same gags just kept going on and on that I was thinking ‘I wish this book ended nearer to the 80% mark because now it is just driving me crazy.’
Don’t get me wrong for 80% of this book I was having an extraordinarily good time and it would have totally had a 5 star rating but that last 20% I’m sad to say crashed it to a 3 star overall. Still I love the premise of friends from childhood who can’t seem to figure out how to move it past that even though it is clear to everyone around them that they are made for each other.
Let’s talk about some of the things I totally loved in this story:
① - Milo is a hot mess, if it can go wrong it does and she is usually in the middle of it and someone always ends up with a slight injury. But she is pretty adorable and I was rooting for her from the beginning to find a way to get Colton. They have this easy repoire when just kidding around and teasing each other but once they get close together it all becomes a jumbled mess. After Colton kisses Milo and then apologizes for it she is crushed and accidentally starts a chain of events that become hilarious.
Her best friend is going to help her figure out how to get the man she wants so desperately even if that means he has to pretend to be her boyfriend for her brother’s wedding weekend. Which brings us to…
② - Max. I’m not sure if I want a best friend like Max or not. Actually I take that back I totally do. How many best friends would give you the low down on how to seduce a man and try to drive him crazy with you? He totally went above and beyond and probably gave Milo a few tips along the way. No worries no love triangle here but Max pushed Milo to a few limits. I might have liked him more than Milo and Colton.
I loved their friendship and how well they knew each other. Both accepted the other for who they were and they had an easy teasing banter about them that was so much fun.
③ - The slapstick comedy of some of it. Poor Jason (Milo’s brother) it is his wedding weekend and it seems that every time the poor guys turns around something else awful happens to him, usually because of Milo. He has bumps and bruises all over the place. Most of book it is super funny and I laughed pretty hard.
There are a lot of hilarious moments where someone walks in at just the right time. Milo is completely oblivious to the affect she seems to have on Colton and getting both PoVs makes that all the more fun. Also there is dealing with a slightly unhinged bride who might just not make it to the actual wedding without a huge meltdown.
④ - No extreme tragedy in their pasts. I hate this trope in NA. You don’t have to have a completely broken and traumatized MC to carry your story. I think most people in their early 20s have had good and bad things happen to them but not every NA story has to come from somewhere so bleak to be good. Everyone in this story had a pretty normal childhood and they were relatable characters.
Let’s talk about some of the things that didn’t work in the story:
I was totally on board with most of this story until the touchy feely grandma showed up. She was funny the first time she did something slightly scandalous and pervy. After that it became a little too weird and it was the gag that just would not stop. It actually started to make me feel uncomfortable and it wasn’t funny but totally creepy.
Most of the stuff going into the wedding seemed a bit over the top and then why can’t Milo and Colton get a freaking minute alone getting to some actual sexy time took forever.
Overall:
Most of the story is funny and compelling but the end needed a little work. However all’s well that ends well and I did like the ending of this story. I’m even going to read the next one because it is about Max and I loved his character.
If you haven’t read Boomerang or Fangirl then I’d say give those a try in the NA genre first. But if you want something silly with some really cute moments and only a little bit of sex then this is a fun read. I totally recommend getting the audiobook version if you like those.
Audio Note: Nick Podel and Amy McFadden MADE this book. This is probably one of those times that a book actually earn an extra 1/2 - 1 star just because the narrators do such a fantastic job performing the story.
To me this book is like a Will Ferrell movie, in that sometimes the comedy and shenanigans were hilarious and working so well that at one point I was thinking ‘this is the best NA book I’ve read this year’ but then later it was so OVER THE TOP and the same gags just kept going on and on that I was thinking ‘I wish this book ended nearer to the 80% mark because now it is just driving me crazy.’
Don’t get me wrong for 80% of this book I was having an extraordinarily good time and it would have totally had a 5 star rating but that last 20% I’m sad to say crashed it to a 3 star overall. Still I love the premise of friends from childhood who can’t seem to figure out how to move it past that even though it is clear to everyone around them that they are made for each other.
Let’s talk about some of the things I totally loved in this story:
① - Milo is a hot mess, if it can go wrong it does and she is usually in the middle of it and someone always ends up with a slight injury. But she is pretty adorable and I was rooting for her from the beginning to find a way to get Colton. They have this easy repoire when just kidding around and teasing each other but once they get close together it all becomes a jumbled mess. After Colton kisses Milo and then apologizes for it she is crushed and accidentally starts a chain of events that become hilarious.
“Milo, say my name if you did something really stupid and unforgiveable like the time you told me I wouldn’t get a splinter in my ass for using a wood sled.”
“Max . . .” I purred, trying to sound sexy.
Colton leaned in like he was trying to listen to our conversation. I glared at him, hoping he’d back off and give me space.
“Shit balls. Oh, look, a bus! What? What was that? You want to throw me under it?”
Her best friend is going to help her figure out how to get the man she wants so desperately even if that means he has to pretend to be her boyfriend for her brother’s wedding weekend. Which brings us to…
② - Max. I’m not sure if I want a best friend like Max or not. Actually I take that back I totally do. How many best friends would give you the low down on how to seduce a man and try to drive him crazy with you? He totally went above and beyond and probably gave Milo a few tips along the way. No worries no love triangle here but Max pushed Milo to a few limits. I might have liked him more than Milo and Colton.
I’m not your sexless friend, I’m not your damn brother. I’m not you gay friend. And I sure as hell am not thinking about anything right now except that your hands feel really good against my skin. So I’m going to kiss you, and you’re going to respond like the idea of my mouth on yours doesn’t make you want to cry---and you’ll like it.”
I loved their friendship and how well they knew each other. Both accepted the other for who they were and they had an easy teasing banter about them that was so much fun.
③ - The slapstick comedy of some of it. Poor Jason (Milo’s brother) it is his wedding weekend and it seems that every time the poor guys turns around something else awful happens to him, usually because of Milo. He has bumps and bruises all over the place. Most of book it is super funny and I laughed pretty hard.
There are a lot of hilarious moments where someone walks in at just the right time. Milo is completely oblivious to the affect she seems to have on Colton and getting both PoVs makes that all the more fun. Also there is dealing with a slightly unhinged bride who might just not make it to the actual wedding without a huge meltdown.
“Honey, you said you wanted red.”
Aw, poor Mom. The situation was like trying to calm a hippo. It was going to charge you regardless of how nice your words were. It would charge you, and then either drown you or sit on you.
④ - No extreme tragedy in their pasts. I hate this trope in NA. You don’t have to have a completely broken and traumatized MC to carry your story. I think most people in their early 20s have had good and bad things happen to them but not every NA story has to come from somewhere so bleak to be good. Everyone in this story had a pretty normal childhood and they were relatable characters.
Let’s talk about some of the things that didn’t work in the story:
I was totally on board with most of this story until the touchy feely grandma showed up. She was funny the first time she did something slightly scandalous and pervy. After that it became a little too weird and it was the gag that just would not stop. It actually started to make me feel uncomfortable and it wasn’t funny but totally creepy.
Most of the stuff going into the wedding seemed a bit over the top and then why can’t Milo and Colton get a freaking minute alone getting to some actual sexy time took forever.
Overall:
Most of the story is funny and compelling but the end needed a little work. However all’s well that ends well and I did like the ending of this story. I’m even going to read the next one because it is about Max and I loved his character.
If you haven’t read Boomerang or Fangirl then I’d say give those a try in the NA genre first. But if you want something silly with some really cute moments and only a little bit of sex then this is a fun read. I totally recommend getting the audiobook version if you like those.
Audio Note: Nick Podel and Amy McFadden MADE this book. This is probably one of those times that a book actually earn an extra 1/2 - 1 star just because the narrators do such a fantastic job performing the story.
April 21, 2015
This book has ruined me. Colton & Milo have ruined me.
#RelationshipGoals. #WhyIsTheIcecreamAlwaysGone #AndTheRum.
Me after reading this book:
I mean, why can't I have a guy who pretends to slay dragons for me?!
Why can't I also have a ridiculously good-looking best friend who compares me to doughnuts & has been to one-too-many theater camps? Or even the chocolate-covered almonds Milo got...I'd settle for a plain old cookie right about now!!
*sighs* But...as we all know...there is no way (yet) of summoning adorable men and/or amazing food from between the pages of a book.
Note to readers: this book is not just about smexy men.
I'm telling the truth! True...the romance elements are h-h-hot, but the main attraction this books has is its humour. I almost died laughing - every page is a masterpiece! If this book could be made into a romantic comedy I would watch it every day <3
At the center of this comedic whirlwind is Max.
Max is a force of nature. A hot, weird, slightly-unhinged force of nature who has an adorable habit of interrupting/butting in/opening his mouth at the most inappropriate times!
So what are you waiting for...go read it! Trust me - when the whole cast of characters gets together and things start to go crazy, it's so entertaining to read :)
#RelationshipGoals. #WhyIsTheIcecreamAlwaysGone #AndTheRum.
Me after reading this book:
I mean, why can't I have a guy who pretends to slay dragons for me?!
Why can't I also have a ridiculously good-looking best friend who compares me to doughnuts & has been to one-too-many theater camps? Or even the chocolate-covered almonds Milo got...I'd settle for a plain old cookie right about now!!
*sighs* But...as we all know...there is no way (yet) of summoning adorable men and/or amazing food from between the pages of a book.
Note to readers: this book is not just about smexy men.
I'm telling the truth! True...the romance elements are h-h-hot, but the main attraction this books has is its humour. I almost died laughing - every page is a masterpiece! If this book could be made into a romantic comedy I would watch it every day <3
At the center of this comedic whirlwind is Max.
Max is a force of nature. A hot, weird, slightly-unhinged force of nature who has an adorable habit of interrupting/butting in/opening his mouth at the most inappropriate times!
So what are you waiting for...go read it! Trust me - when the whole cast of characters gets together and things start to go crazy, it's so entertaining to read :)
May 6, 2015
This has to be the funniest book I have read in a long time! I literally laughed out loud through the entire story.
Milo has always loved her brother Jason's best friend Colton. As children they were always together and Colton would protect Milo, even slaying dragons for her, as any "big brother" would.
Being away at college for a few years Milo returns for Jason's wedding hoping her feelings for Colton had waned with time and realizing they were stronger than ever.
In an attempt to make Colton jealous and bring him to his senses Milo's best friend Max arrives pretending to be her boyfriend.
Between Max's zany ideas, Jason's many accidents, skinny dipping, ants, strip poker, frisky Grandma and so much more this romantic comedy is a must read!
Milo has always loved her brother Jason's best friend Colton. As children they were always together and Colton would protect Milo, even slaying dragons for her, as any "big brother" would.
Being away at college for a few years Milo returns for Jason's wedding hoping her feelings for Colton had waned with time and realizing they were stronger than ever.
In an attempt to make Colton jealous and bring him to his senses Milo's best friend Max arrives pretending to be her boyfriend.
Between Max's zany ideas, Jason's many accidents, skinny dipping, ants, strip poker, frisky Grandma and so much more this romantic comedy is a must read!
June 6, 2017
This book was hilarious! I love silly romantic comedies and this totally hit the spot. I highly recommend to anyone that wants a good laugh.
April 22, 2015
Not my cuppa tea.
November 29, 2016
Just completely hilarious. I lost count of the amount of times I laughed out loud.
There is plenty of delicious angsty romance and tension in this comedy of errors. But the secondary characters and the almost farcical comedy nearly stole the show.
just an extremely entertaining read I definitely recommend
There is plenty of delicious angsty romance and tension in this comedy of errors. But the secondary characters and the almost farcical comedy nearly stole the show.
just an extremely entertaining read I definitely recommend
April 21, 2015
ARC provided by author in exchange of honest review
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I love stories of unrequited love and crushes of childhood friends. And in The Consequences of Loving Colton by Rachel Van Dyken it chronicles the lives of Milo and her childhood crush, Colton Mathews. Milo and Colton seem to have this attraction for one another but Colton always puts a halt to it. So fast forward to a couple of years, Milo returns home from college for her brother's wedding and is reunited with Colton. When Colton begins to show affection to Milo, he suddenly does a complete 180 and tries to distance himself away from her. So when Milo's best friend comes up for a visit, she makes Max, her fake boyfriend. Max devises a plan to get Colton jealous so Colton can finally admits his true feelings for Milo. So can operation BE A DOUGHNUT work?
I love Rachel Van Dyken and I'm a big fan of her works. Whenever she releases a new book, I instantly one-click those books and when I saw The Consequences of Loving Colton on Netgalley, I knew I had to request it. Sadly, this book was an alright read for me. I did not love it but did not hate it. It was one of those reads that I enjoyed reading but I felt as the story line progressed, the book took a different turn and was all over the place. I think I would have enjoyed this book if it focused solely on the main characters of the story. Also, I felt there was too much going on with the secondary characters and was a bit distracting for me. Overall, this book was a fun read since RVD was able to incorporate humor into the story line and we got our HEA.
Rachel Van Dyken
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I love stories of unrequited love and crushes of childhood friends. And in The Consequences of Loving Colton by Rachel Van Dyken it chronicles the lives of Milo and her childhood crush, Colton Mathews. Milo and Colton seem to have this attraction for one another but Colton always puts a halt to it. So fast forward to a couple of years, Milo returns home from college for her brother's wedding and is reunited with Colton. When Colton begins to show affection to Milo, he suddenly does a complete 180 and tries to distance himself away from her. So when Milo's best friend comes up for a visit, she makes Max, her fake boyfriend. Max devises a plan to get Colton jealous so Colton can finally admits his true feelings for Milo. So can operation BE A DOUGHNUT work?
I love Rachel Van Dyken and I'm a big fan of her works. Whenever she releases a new book, I instantly one-click those books and when I saw The Consequences of Loving Colton on Netgalley, I knew I had to request it. Sadly, this book was an alright read for me. I did not love it but did not hate it. It was one of those reads that I enjoyed reading but I felt as the story line progressed, the book took a different turn and was all over the place. I think I would have enjoyed this book if it focused solely on the main characters of the story. Also, I felt there was too much going on with the secondary characters and was a bit distracting for me. Overall, this book was a fun read since RVD was able to incorporate humor into the story line and we got our HEA.
Rachel Van Dyken
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July 12, 2015
*sighs* Review to come. Dude, this book was painful to read. I'll gather up my mettle and write a review on this book eventually when I can get my head together on this. Overall impressions though? Very forced humor, paper thin characters, bland writing and how anyone can think a older woman sexually assaulting a guy can pass as humor is beyond my comprehension. Seriously, the more New Adult books I read, the more offensive stuff I see, and it gets passed off either as being for humor or the stuff that actually matters gets passed off like doesn't matter at all compared to the love story.
Geez. =\
Geez. =\
April 21, 2019
Items ticked off: 13
This book and I are not friends. I'll say that right away. Because The Consequence of Loving Colton might be a perfectly good book
You see, while I didn't like the typical story about girl returns home for brother's wedding, wishing her old crush will fall for her, that's nowhere near as big of a problem as how this book approaches sexual assault. I'll take a short moment about the book. It's nothing new. Typical virgin heroine who's a little bit insecure and has been pining for her brother's best friend since forever. Milo was an awful heroine. She's violent, insecure, insensitive, and downright rude all the time. Her crush isn't much better. And yes, I disliked him for several reasons. One of them being this:
I sure as hell didn’t want her to think I had a thing for Luke Skywalker or—God forbid—for robots.
Apart from him trivializing more or less every sexuality there is, he's also continuously sexist and isn't ashamed of it. He's also violent, judgmental, and a complete moron. Okay, all characters are complete morons. Milo and her best friend Max decide to make Colton (the hero) jealous. Max puts on a play and pretends he and Milo are engaged. When Colton finds out, instead of calling Milo on the bluff and tell her he loves her and that they can be together, his first reaction is to give her hell and revenge.
Mature people? No. People above the age of twenty? Fuck no.Twelve year olds? Sure. Most of all, morons. All over the place.
So no, this story didn't do it for me. It tries too hard to be funny. It tries so hard that it actually attempts to make sexual assault comical relief.
Please take a moment to let that sink in. This book uses sexual assault as comical relief. And that should be impossible. Yet, someone thought that sexual assault could be made funny.
I vomit a little writing that.
Do you think I'm too harsh? I'm not. Take a look at this paragraph:
“Then they . . .” Max rubbed his arms. “They touched me, ripped my shirt open, said that I was the only one who understood them, that I wasn’t like those other men and then . . .” His eyes found mine. “They kissed me, like seven of them, all bridesmaids. A few were married. I tried to pull away but they have claws masquerading as acrylic nails. They dug into my skin, and the crazy part, when I tried to run—they liked it!”
If you still don't understand what I want to say, replace Max with a woman. Not many would hesitate to call that sexual assault (maybe even rape).
But, because it's happening to a man, it's supposed to be funny. (Yes, I vomit a little writing that too.) Reality check: sexual abuse/assault happens to all genders. Men and women alike. It is not fun. It's not comical. It's serious. About as serious as it gets.
In The Consequence of Loving Colton it is comical relief. The reactions to his statement is humor. The characters ridicule this kind of behavior. They laugh. They joke about it. Repeatedly. None of them mention how serious this is (considering one of them is a cop, that just makes it worse).
“He was also taken advantage of by women today—women!” Jason laughed.
BTW, Jason's the cop.
And no, this is not the only instance. Because we also have a sex-crazed grandma who several times attempts to practically rape Max's brother. This is not funny. The book wants it to be. Hell, it even wants Reid (Max's brother) to be assaulted. It tries to force him to simply accept it.
“Walk away from the light, Reid!” Jason shouted up at him. “It’s not worth it, just, just let her—you know—and then it will all be over with.”
And it doesn't get better. We continue with rape jokes. (Maybe it wasn't a joke, but heck if I give a damn anymore.)
I swear—I just saw tears rolling down the poor kid’s face. I was willing to break into a pharmacy just so I could get him drugs.
But they didn’t sell those kinds of drugs.
The ones that made you forget.
Unless he was lucky enough to get a roofie.
I don't understand this. I don't understand who thought it was a good idea to trivialize these subjects in such a manner. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the offensive shit it says. There's tons of sexism, shaming, and misogyny. But the most important thing to say about this book is this: joking about sexual abuse/harassment/violence is not acceptable.
End of rant.
February 15, 2016
This review was originally posted on (un)Conventional Bookviews
The Consequence of Loving Colton almost reads like a parody of NA romance, anything that can go wrong goes wrong, there are shenanigans and out there characters, and still, there's some hotness and tension as well.
I think I might have enjoyed The Consequence of Loving Colton more if it had been labeled as a parody, because I'm all for making fun of genres - even my favorite genres. However, this was really out there, and there was no real plot or story, just a whole lot of weird and sometimes very funny situations happening. Between Milo and Colton, there were so many misunderstandings and misconceptions I lost count after the first chapter. It was the epitome of people not talking to each other - especially not about important stuff.
Spanning over just a few short days, The Consequence of Loving Colton was a fast read, but that might have been because I skimmed some parts, too... Milo's clumsiness and everyone around her ending up with black eyes or broken arms might have been fun the first time, the 27th time, a little less.
Written in first person point of view, past tense but peppered with dialogues, The Consequence of Loving Colton is the first in the Consequence series, and some of my favorite bloggers have loved this series - be sure to check out Kristin @ Addicted to Happily Ever After series review for a positive review.
"It's like we're in a musical," Max whispered under his breath. I opened my mouth. He slammed his hand over it. "Break out in song, and I'm going to make you wish I really had gotten you and aloe vera plant."
"The food?" I sniffled, sitting on the bed. "Here." Jenna unloaded a giant basketful of goodies onto the bed. It was like staring at heaven. No, seriously, I wasn't one of those girls who got tiny hunger pangs when it was time to eat, then took a few sips of water, burped, wiped my mouth, and announced I was full.
The Consequence of Loving Colton almost reads like a parody of NA romance, anything that can go wrong goes wrong, there are shenanigans and out there characters, and still, there's some hotness and tension as well.
I think I might have enjoyed The Consequence of Loving Colton more if it had been labeled as a parody, because I'm all for making fun of genres - even my favorite genres. However, this was really out there, and there was no real plot or story, just a whole lot of weird and sometimes very funny situations happening. Between Milo and Colton, there were so many misunderstandings and misconceptions I lost count after the first chapter. It was the epitome of people not talking to each other - especially not about important stuff.
Spanning over just a few short days, The Consequence of Loving Colton was a fast read, but that might have been because I skimmed some parts, too... Milo's clumsiness and everyone around her ending up with black eyes or broken arms might have been fun the first time, the 27th time, a little less.
Written in first person point of view, past tense but peppered with dialogues, The Consequence of Loving Colton is the first in the Consequence series, and some of my favorite bloggers have loved this series - be sure to check out Kristin @ Addicted to Happily Ever After series review for a positive review.
"It's like we're in a musical," Max whispered under his breath. I opened my mouth. He slammed his hand over it. "Break out in song, and I'm going to make you wish I really had gotten you and aloe vera plant."
"The food?" I sniffled, sitting on the bed. "Here." Jenna unloaded a giant basketful of goodies onto the bed. It was like staring at heaven. No, seriously, I wasn't one of those girls who got tiny hunger pangs when it was time to eat, then took a few sips of water, burped, wiped my mouth, and announced I was full.
August 21, 2016
Review found at: www.awesomebooknut.com
This is yet another book I picked up due to Goodreads recommending it. And I was pleasantly surprised in some aspects!
This is about a girl who has always been in love with a boy. But due to some embarrassing and confusing moments, girl decides to move on with life even though she will always love boy.
Alright, Milo loves Colton. We get it. This whole book started off pretty good and was humor and fun at times. There were many times that I felt like I was literally watching a movie in my head! It just flowed like that, you know what I mean? Anyway…
The biggest problem I had with this book is that after a while regardless of how predicable it was. I got bored and tired and ended up skimming the last 1/3 of the book. Why? because it just kept whiplashing me between Milo and Colton. It actually got kinda annoying. Then the humor kinda got annoying. It was funny at first and then it slowly got…annoying. You catch my drift here? haha
Anyway this book has a whole lot of stuff thrown in during this wedding fiasco. You get to enjoy MANY MANY characters and it literally was like circus, constantly fast paced moving. go-go-go!
Overall if you’re looking for a romantic comedy then this might be it. I’m just saying it got a little redundant after a while.
Sexual Content: heavy
Language: heavy
Violence: moderate
Drugs/Alcohol: moderate
This is yet another book I picked up due to Goodreads recommending it. And I was pleasantly surprised in some aspects!
This is about a girl who has always been in love with a boy. But due to some embarrassing and confusing moments, girl decides to move on with life even though she will always love boy.
Alright, Milo loves Colton. We get it. This whole book started off pretty good and was humor and fun at times. There were many times that I felt like I was literally watching a movie in my head! It just flowed like that, you know what I mean? Anyway…
The biggest problem I had with this book is that after a while regardless of how predicable it was. I got bored and tired and ended up skimming the last 1/3 of the book. Why? because it just kept whiplashing me between Milo and Colton. It actually got kinda annoying. Then the humor kinda got annoying. It was funny at first and then it slowly got…annoying. You catch my drift here? haha
Anyway this book has a whole lot of stuff thrown in during this wedding fiasco. You get to enjoy MANY MANY characters and it literally was like circus, constantly fast paced moving. go-go-go!
Overall if you’re looking for a romantic comedy then this might be it. I’m just saying it got a little redundant after a while.
Sexual Content: heavy
Language: heavy
Violence: moderate
Drugs/Alcohol: moderate
August 6, 2016
So OTT it's practically a parody of YA romance. Not my normal genre, but I enjoyed it nevertheless. It's a rare (and wonderful) thing when I find myself laughing out loud from a book, and this one had me giggling on more than one occasion. It wasn't the slapstick situations the characters kept finding themselves in so much as it was Max though. Max stole the show. He's a secondary character (the story is really about his best friend, Milo, and the man she loves, Colton), but for me, I just wanted more Max. I did love Milo's character too--total tomboy who wants to be viewed as a princess and has violent tendencies. I identified with her ;) It's full of quotable lines; I seriously highlighted the shit out of this book, giggling the whole time. The only part where it lost me was Grandma. The interactions between Grandma and Reid went from funny, to awkward, to uncomfortable and gross. I think it was just taken way too far to stay within 'what's considered funny' parameters and crossed a line that a lot of people would be uncomfortable with. Teeny tiny annoyance that there wasn't a piano and then there was, but that's me being overly OCD and small in the grand scheme of things. Overall, this was a well written book. I am confused by the blurb though. After reading the book, I don't remember a cookie scene or any of those things happening to Colton???
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