Love, Sex, and 4-H

by Anne-Marie Oomen

As the 1960s dawned in small-town Michigan, Anne-Marie Oomen was a naive farm girl whose mother was determined to keep her out of trouble-by keeping her in 4-H. In Love, Sex, and 4-H, Oomen sets the wholesomeness of her domestic lessons in 4-H club from 1959 to 1969 against the political and sexual revolution of the time. Between sewing her first dish towel and finishing the yellow dress she wears to senior prom, Oomen brings readers along as she falls in and out of love, wins her first prize, learns to kiss, survives her first heartbreak, and makes almost all of her clothes.

Love, Sex, and 4-H begins as Oomen struggles to sew a straight seam and works hard to embody the 4-H pledge of loyalty, service, and better living. But even as she wins her first modeling competition and masters more difficult stitches and patterns, Oomen finds that she is not immune to the chaos of the outside world. After the Kennedy assassination, the Cuban Missile Crisis, and her own short stay in a convent, Oomen encounters the biggest change of all-public school. In this new world of school dances, short skirts, and raging hormones, Oomen's orderly life will be complicated by her first kiss, first boyfriend, first store-bought dress, and finally, first love. All the while, she must negotiate her mother's expectations, her identity as a good 4-H girl, and her awareness of growing social and political unrest.

Oomen brings an insightful and humorous eye to her evolving sexuality, religious beliefs, and sense of self. Fans of memoir will appreciate the honest portrayal of growing up between rebellion and tradition in Love, Sex, and 4-H.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2015

Reviews

[Katey Schultz · Rating 5 out of 5]

After spending some time with her newest book, Love Sex & 4-H, here is what I can tell you: This book, more than any other I’ve read by Anne-Marie to date, is her fullest, most wholesome, most poignant, and narratively complete picture of the making of an amazing human being. She wouldn’t call herself that—not in the book itself or over dinner conversation with you. But I can say it. She’s amazing. This book provides a clear glimpse into how a young girl who dreams—was born dreaming—found her way through a world that didn’t often have time for anything other than the hard work of farm and family. What’s more, this book makes peace with that struggle, and paints a path through one of the most socially famous decades in American history.

[Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Luminous memoir of the author's growing up in a Belgian-Dutch Catholic family on a 1960s Michigan farm. I read this book as there aren't many books it seems about this era in the Midwest, and this is close to my mother's generation. Oomen writes with specificity about the adolescent experience. It's a great tribute to her mother, too, the last generation on the farm, and how she put her into 4-H. The chapters go through the sewing, jam-making, modeling, public speaking - and all of the questioning as to what is really being learned here. It was also of course to try and keep her out of trouble during a time of transformation in the author's life and in society. In the end, she looks back at all of those lessons and years to apply head, hands, health, and heart. I plan to read more of her work.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! The author is roughly my parents age and it was interesting to see a glimpse into what their world was probably like growing up in rural Michigan in the 60s. The author has some strong Enneagram 4 energy going, which (in my opinion) can make her seem insufferable at times but in a self deprecating and endearing way. She absolutely nails the feeling of longing in high school relationships. Her description of herself as “the queen of anything but” was so so relatable. This book reminded me a little of Mennonite in a Little Black Dress.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author is a few years older than me, but we had a lot of similar experiences growing up in small town midwestern towns. And I did 4-H too, though not as many years as she did. So I was all in while reading this one. Plus the writing is so good. I should have been taking notes on great quotes for you, but I was to engrossed in reliving my childhood through her eyes. If you're a 60-something and lived in rural America you should read this one.

[Jennifer Bentley · Rating 4 out of 5]

My mother enrolled me in 4-H for exactly the same reasons, except my adventures in needle-craft happened in the 1990s, what a time capsule! Nothing really changes.

[Sam Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

a memoir taking place in the 60's?? following a small town michigan gal?? lots of sewing and farming?? count me in every time

[Carrie Cantalupo-Sharp · Rating 5 out of 5]

It feels like in many ways we lived parallel childhoods. Michigan farm country, oldest daughter, 4H, Catholic. I can relate to so much. She is an excellent writer!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it. Growing up in Michigan, although from Detroit, it was so nice to read a country girls version of that era. Some parts were beautifully written and luminous.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book that is extremely well-written. It was a pure joy to read Ms. Oomen's writing. She can express so much with so little and yet describes the situation with beauty. What an art! The content itself was quite interesting to me because I am just a year younger (I believe) than the author. Her experiences are mine. Her responses to a turbulent time period are mine. She can describe growing up in the sixties and the coming-of-age trials with expertise and knowledge. Yet she never has the attitude of "I did it better than everyone else" or "this is how it should be" but rather writes the story of her maturation so that it sounds like it is each reader's own experience.

[Danny Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was slow to start for me. I, myself was a 4-H kid, so I was really excited about it. But our experiences were very different (and in different time periods - the book takes place in the '60s, and I grew up in the '80s/'90s) so I had a hard time relating with this young girl, who was really quite awkward. In the end I liked it (I'd prefer to give it 2.5 stars not 3), but I don't think I'd recommend it to someone who isn't familiar with 4-H. That's a main thread in the book and without that background, I think it would be a huge disconnect for a reader.

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful editorial of growing up in a small Michigan community. I found, having grown up in a similar community further north and a close to the same time frame, that there were many parallels to my own "coming of age". Surprisingly, I also found my views, and temperament as a child similar to Anne's. Michigan in the 60's, especially norther and western Michigan, were wonderful places to grow up. Anne's telling captures the essence of that in such a way that it make the reader better for having read it.

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

A memoir of growing up in the '60's in the area of Hart - Pentwater, Michigan, this is a memoir of a young girl who just wants to belong - in the school cliques, succeed in 4 H , win recognition and to be a good Catholic girl. She comes from a large farm family and she does not love the same attributes that her parents value- teen rebellion! I especially liked her references to 4 H and how it was a way to have affordable decent clothes. I enjoyed reading this book for the nostalgia.

[Cathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book was only okay - I thought the connection to sewing was a bit forced in places and the foreshadowing was over done. Once I learned she was a poet as well, the writing style made more sense - although it didn't make it more readable or enjoyable to me. However, I saw her in person and she was great! I can hardly belive the book she read from and the book I was reading were the same one!

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone familiar with a Singer, a seam ripper, and the 60's will delight in this wonderful memoir. I had flashbacks of my 4-H leader Mrs. Andy and shared similar sentiments. What a delightful way to spend the afternoon back in the insulated farm life of childhood.

[Lynn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not that great; didn't finish.

[Leanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully written commentary on the times in small town northern Michigan. As important as what the writer says, is what she leaves unsaid. I can't wait to read more of her work.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

By a Michigan author...really great book.