The Paradox of Generosity: Giving We Receive, Grasping We Lose

by Christian Smith, Hilary Davidson

Determining why, when, and to whom people feel compelled to be generous affords invaluable insight into positive and problematic ways of life. Organ donation, volunteering, and the funding of charities can all be illuminated by sociological and psychological perspectives on how American adults conceive of and demonstrate generosity. Focusing not only on financial giving but on the many diverse forms generosity can take, Christian Smith and Hilary Davidson show the deep impact-usually good, sometimes destructive-that giving has on individuals.The Paradox of Generosity is the first study to make use of the cutting-edge empirical data collected in Smith's groundbreaking, multidisciplinary, five-year Science of Generosity Initiative. It draws on an extensive survey of 2,000 Americans, more than sixty in-depth interviews with individuals across twelve states, and analysis of over 1,000 photographs and other visual materials. This wealth of evidence reveals a consistent link between demonstrating generosity and leading a better more generous people are happier, suffer fewer illnesses and injuries, live with a greater sense of purpose, and experience less depression. Smith and Davidson also show, however, that to achieve a better life a person must practice generosity regularly-random acts of kindness are not enough.Offering a wide range of vividly illustrative case studies, this volume will be a crucial resource for anyone seeking to understand the true impact and meaning of generosity.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Money, Economics, Christian, Christianity

280 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 2014

About the author

Christian Smith is the William R. Kenan, Jr. Professor of Sociology and Director of the Center for the Study of Religion and Society at the University of Notre Dame. Smith's research focuses primarily on religion in modernity, adolescents, American evangelicalism, and culture.

Reviews

[Sigrid Fry-Revere · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the premise of this book interesting and true, but the book was way too long and repetitive. The material was probably better suited for an academic article. You might want to read the book if you think generous people are not happier, healthier, or have a greater sense of purpose than their ungenerous counterparts. But I found this conclusion to be all all but self-evident, and the number of times the same point was made in different contexts became tediious.

It was shocking to find out that only about 3% of Americans tithe, that is give away 10% or more of their income. Also only 10% of Americans volunteer one to ten hours a month. If I wanted to I could challenge how the data was determined and analyzed to maybe show the problem isn't as bad as the book makes out to be -- For example, the authors say only 3% of Americans give away 10% or more of their income. Is income measured as gross income or net income? Disposable income or discretionary income? This could make a significant difference in just how stark a generosity deficit there is -- However, that being said, the general message is the same: If Americans could learn to be more generous as a society, we would all be happier, healthier people.

[Emerson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is more oriented towards the american citizens, but provides a comprehensive study of the generosity mechanisms on the human behavior. Would recommend it to understand lots of our contemporary social issues.

[Tony Bradshaw · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I started this book, I foresaw it being a 5 star book.

The material is awesome, but the delivery is dry, repetitive and somehow losses my interest.

[David Burton · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Paradox of Generosity: Giving We Receive, Grasping We Lose" by Christian Smith and Hilary Davidson is a book that explores how generosity affects people's lives. The authors, who are researchers, studied how giving money, time, and resources impacts happiness and well-being. They found that people who are generous tend to be happier, healthier, and more fulfilled. On the other hand, people who hold onto their money and time too tightly often feel less satisfied with life.

The book is based on a national study of Americans and their giving habits. The authors argue that generosity is not just about helping others—it also benefits the giver in surprising ways. They show that people who donate money, volunteer, and help others often feel more purpose in life. They also tend to have better relationships and even improved physical health.

The title, "The Paradox of Generosity," comes from the idea that when we give, we actually receive more in return. But when we are selfish and hold back, we lose out on many rewards. The book encourages readers to think about how they can be more giving in their daily lives and how doing so can improve their own well-being.

Three Takeaway Lessons

Giving Improves Well-Being – The authors show through research that generosity leads to better emotional and physical health. People who give regularly tend to feel happier and even experience lower levels of stress and depression.

Generosity Strengthens Relationships – Being generous with time and resources helps people build stronger connections with family, friends, and communities. Giving fosters trust and deeper bonds between individuals.

Selfishness Leads to Unhappiness – The book reveals that those who are overly focused on keeping their money and time for themselves often feel lonelier and less satisfied with life. True joy comes from giving, not just receiving.

Two Positives About the Book

Strong Research and Real-Life Examples – The book is filled with studies, statistics, and real stories of people who have experienced the benefits of generosity. This makes the argument more convincing and relatable.

Easy to Understand and Practical – The authors explain complex ideas in a way that is simple and engaging. They also provide practical ways for readers to become more generous in their own lives.

One Negative About the Book

Some parts of the book focus too much on statistics and research findings, which might make certain sections feel repetitive or dry for some readers. More personal stories and examples could have made the book even more engaging.

Final Thoughts

"The Paradox of Generosity" is a thought-provoking book that challenges readers to think differently about giving. It shows that generosity is not just a moral virtue but a way to live a happier and more fulfilling life. After reading this book, many will likely feel encouraged to be more generous and to experience the joy that comes from giving. The book’s message is clear: when we give freely, we receive much more in return.

[Jennifer Triplett · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's rare to find a book devoted to this topic and I'm glad the authors endeavored into this research territory. I really like the first few chapters, which have a lot of empirical data and references to bolster their arguments. But the last few chapters were a wash for me. I'm not convinced of a generalizable finding by qualitative data and I feel like they wasted way too much time on that data when they should have been providing more numbers and data analysis. And though they acknowledge that these are case studies and that they shouldn't be taken as representative, the authors do just that when discussing the case studies themselves and belittle the point. I still like it and I still may assign it, I just will give a lot of caveats before they read the last chapters.

[Marsha Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Academic, but valuable

This book includes graphs and charts and statistics to support the assertion that generous people enjoy life more than ungenerous people. It’s not a light read, but the message it conveys encourages one to pursue generosity, both for the sake of the recipient and for the giver.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting read on generosity and how it impacts our mental, physical, and spiritual health, but the book could have been half as long and felt very repetitive. If it was condensed and concise I would rate it higher.

[Marius Ciuzelis · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was very repetitive and would be more than enough to read an article on research findings rather than go for a book.

[Peter Migner · Rating 4 out of 5]

good stories and lots of data. Probably a little over kill on stories and data. But the book made a great point and well lined out to read or jump around.

[Warhammer Grantham · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book cites a bunch of personal interviews, and tons of data gathered from a decently large sample size, to assert certain effects patterns of generous behaviors have on people. And using data gathered from the same interviews, they aggregate that data to suggest patterns of ungenerous behavior have these certain effects on the same people. The whole book basically uses the data gathered to point out common trends in people's lives, depending on if they practice generous or ungenerous behavior.

Regrettably, although the book does a decent job of including data to support author claims and then including a excerpt from a personal interview that supports this claim; the book was tedious to get through.
TL;DR be generous because its good for you. There are hella health, social, and mental health benefits that people who regularly practice generous behaviors, reap. If you don't practice regular generosity, you will tend to worry more, have fewer strong social ties, and deal with more anxiety.

[Victoria Chuburkova · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book could be triple shorter, but keep the same amount of takeaway for readers. It's a good research based analysis how deliberate and not random acts of generosity affect our life. The evidence presented in the book is structured in a way that is compelling to remember it. The book is positive and uplifting. Personally it changed some of my beliefs toward selflessness.

[RK Byers · Rating 4 out of 5]

really clinical, then almost preachy - which was good - then the personal stories just made me wanna yell at those people; generous and stingy alike.