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Between These Walls
Hunter is a Christian. Hunter is the man next door.
Hunter Carlisle is gay.
At 26 years old, Hunter Carlisle has a successful sales career, a devoted girlfriend, and rock-solid faith. He also guards a secret torment: an attraction to other men. When a career plunge causes muscle tension, Hunter seeks relief through Gabe Hellman, a handsome massage therapist. What begins as friendship takes a sudden turn and forces the two friends to reconsider the boundaries of attraction. Along the road to self-discovery, Hunter’s secret is exposed to the community. Now Hunter must face the demons of his past and confront his long-held fears about reputation, sexual identity, and matters of soul.
Hunter Carlisle is gay.
At 26 years old, Hunter Carlisle has a successful sales career, a devoted girlfriend, and rock-solid faith. He also guards a secret torment: an attraction to other men. When a career plunge causes muscle tension, Hunter seeks relief through Gabe Hellman, a handsome massage therapist. What begins as friendship takes a sudden turn and forces the two friends to reconsider the boundaries of attraction. Along the road to self-discovery, Hunter’s secret is exposed to the community. Now Hunter must face the demons of his past and confront his long-held fears about reputation, sexual identity, and matters of soul.
484 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2015
5 people are currently reading
1213 people want to read
About the author
John Herrick
23 books175 followersWebsite: www.johnherrick.net
Facebook: facebook.com/JohnHerrickBooks
Twitter: twitter.com/@johnherrick
YouTube: youtube.com/c/JohnHerrick
John Herrick is the author of From the Dead and 8 Reasons Your Life Matters. A graduate of the University of Missouri—Columbia, readers turn to him as a chronicler of spiritual journey and the human heart. Herrick lives in South Carolina.
Facebook: facebook.com/JohnHerrickBooks
Twitter: twitter.com/@johnherrick
YouTube: youtube.com/c/JohnHerrick
John Herrick is the author of From the Dead and 8 Reasons Your Life Matters. A graduate of the University of Missouri—Columbia, readers turn to him as a chronicler of spiritual journey and the human heart. Herrick lives in South Carolina.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
September 30, 2024
Book Reviewed by Kerstin on www.whisperingstories.com
Hunter Carlisle is gay. But not a single soul knows about his big secret. Not even in his church does he feel brave enough to talk about his burden. And a burden, it is.
For his whole life Hunter has pretended to be someone that he is not. He’s always had girlfriends and, although he honestly cared about them, he never really connected with them, nor really loved.
His current girlfriend, Kara, has a job which requires a lot of travelling on her side. A welcome situation for Hunter, because it means less time where he needs to pretend to be a perfect boyfriend.
Hunter has felt alone his whole life. As a teenager he became a Christian and found his love for God. This love helped him over the worst times in his life, but the love of another person who loves him for who he really is, is what he truly needs.
Due to his stressful life, he suffers with back problems. When his old friend Ellen recommends her massage therapist Gabe, he gives it a try. Gabe cures him from his back problems, but more so with Gabe he finally finds, what he needs: a person he can be his true self with.
Still, one problem remains: lying to his family and friends. His journey is not over yet. This book gives you an insight into a man who has had to carry a burden his whole life.
After ‘A Beautiful Mess‘ from John Herrick, which I read earlier in the year, one thing was clear: I needed to read more from this author. Between these walls was the second book I’ve read so far and I might say it won’t be the last. It has been a while since I had the pleasure reading books as good as these.
The author has the rare talent writing in a way you can really feel with the characters. He always finds the right words and drags you into the story letting you forget all about your own life. For the time reading, you are in the book, in the character. Hunter is sad, You are sad. Hunter is happy, You are happy. When he feels helpless, that feeling is right there with you too. That’s how it feels to read Between these Walls.
The ability to write about a man with such a big secret and his struggles in life with such passion and sensibility really is a gift.
If you are into well-written, entertaining and foremost touching novels you are going to love this book. And you won’t be disappointed, trust me.
Hunter Carlisle is gay. But not a single soul knows about his big secret. Not even in his church does he feel brave enough to talk about his burden. And a burden, it is.
For his whole life Hunter has pretended to be someone that he is not. He’s always had girlfriends and, although he honestly cared about them, he never really connected with them, nor really loved.
His current girlfriend, Kara, has a job which requires a lot of travelling on her side. A welcome situation for Hunter, because it means less time where he needs to pretend to be a perfect boyfriend.
Hunter has felt alone his whole life. As a teenager he became a Christian and found his love for God. This love helped him over the worst times in his life, but the love of another person who loves him for who he really is, is what he truly needs.
Due to his stressful life, he suffers with back problems. When his old friend Ellen recommends her massage therapist Gabe, he gives it a try. Gabe cures him from his back problems, but more so with Gabe he finally finds, what he needs: a person he can be his true self with.
Still, one problem remains: lying to his family and friends. His journey is not over yet. This book gives you an insight into a man who has had to carry a burden his whole life.
After ‘A Beautiful Mess‘ from John Herrick, which I read earlier in the year, one thing was clear: I needed to read more from this author. Between these walls was the second book I’ve read so far and I might say it won’t be the last. It has been a while since I had the pleasure reading books as good as these.
The author has the rare talent writing in a way you can really feel with the characters. He always finds the right words and drags you into the story letting you forget all about your own life. For the time reading, you are in the book, in the character. Hunter is sad, You are sad. Hunter is happy, You are happy. When he feels helpless, that feeling is right there with you too. That’s how it feels to read Between these Walls.
The ability to write about a man with such a big secret and his struggles in life with such passion and sensibility really is a gift.
If you are into well-written, entertaining and foremost touching novels you are going to love this book. And you won’t be disappointed, trust me.
March 3, 2015
John Herrick, himself a Christian, bravely addresses taboo subject matter in this heartfelt, authentic novel. His main character, Hunter, is an extremely committed Christian with a vital relationship with God who also has always struggled with same-sex attraction, keeping it a secret under the surface, always afraid of being found out.
Having girlfriend after girlfriend, Hunter cannot find that sense of emotional closeness and genuine attract with any of them. He truly feels something for each girl, but those relationships don't exactly reach his heart. He's surprised to find that his new massage therapist is easy to talk to as well as attractive to him on many levels. Gabe is also a committed Christian who shares Hunter's struggles.
As the two of them try to decide what their relationship should look like (or if it should even exist) in light of their faith, they wrestle with their past, with family issues, and, of course, what having a "public" relationship might mean. For both men, the idea of violating their faith and a reluctance to displease God are major issues.
This is a much needed book because there are many Christians who deal with the complexity that comes from being attracted to the same sex and who want to stay true to their faith. I have not seen another LGBQT book that deals with this subject matter in a way that gets straight to the heart of this matter.
I also like the way the book addresses the issue of homosexuality in a biblical manner. It does not condone the practice, but it also does not judge those who deal with this struggle. God's grace is the central focus on how the characters deal with this issue. Hunter's pastor gives him wise counsel and assures him that God knew that the struggle would be there and wants to bring beauty from it. In addressing a very close-minded pastor up front, Hunter stresses that it's the kindness of God that leads men to repentance (Romans 2:4), poking holes in the man's reactionary, hate-filled mentality.
I believe this is an issue that churches need to address in a more vital fashion. Yes, the issue is complicated, but it's unfair, cruel, and unbiblical for pastors and teachers within churches to continue acting like those who struggle with same-sex attraction are hideous creatures from another planet and to make scathing, callous jokes. None of that is necessary to exposit what the Bible teaches about homosexuality. That attitude is not the kind of love that Jesus demonstrated when he came to earth.
I have always hoped to have some sort of easy answer on this issue, but I don't. I just can't imagine Jesus dying on the cross for everyone "except" any group. Those who argue that people within the LGBQT community can't be saved before renouncing their lifestyle is not supported under the idea that "For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved" (Romans 10:13).
Having girlfriend after girlfriend, Hunter cannot find that sense of emotional closeness and genuine attract with any of them. He truly feels something for each girl, but those relationships don't exactly reach his heart. He's surprised to find that his new massage therapist is easy to talk to as well as attractive to him on many levels. Gabe is also a committed Christian who shares Hunter's struggles.
As the two of them try to decide what their relationship should look like (or if it should even exist) in light of their faith, they wrestle with their past, with family issues, and, of course, what having a "public" relationship might mean. For both men, the idea of violating their faith and a reluctance to displease God are major issues.
This is a much needed book because there are many Christians who deal with the complexity that comes from being attracted to the same sex and who want to stay true to their faith. I have not seen another LGBQT book that deals with this subject matter in a way that gets straight to the heart of this matter.
I also like the way the book addresses the issue of homosexuality in a biblical manner. It does not condone the practice, but it also does not judge those who deal with this struggle. God's grace is the central focus on how the characters deal with this issue. Hunter's pastor gives him wise counsel and assures him that God knew that the struggle would be there and wants to bring beauty from it. In addressing a very close-minded pastor up front, Hunter stresses that it's the kindness of God that leads men to repentance (Romans 2:4), poking holes in the man's reactionary, hate-filled mentality.
I believe this is an issue that churches need to address in a more vital fashion. Yes, the issue is complicated, but it's unfair, cruel, and unbiblical for pastors and teachers within churches to continue acting like those who struggle with same-sex attraction are hideous creatures from another planet and to make scathing, callous jokes. None of that is necessary to exposit what the Bible teaches about homosexuality. That attitude is not the kind of love that Jesus demonstrated when he came to earth.
I have always hoped to have some sort of easy answer on this issue, but I don't. I just can't imagine Jesus dying on the cross for everyone "except" any group. Those who argue that people within the LGBQT community can't be saved before renouncing their lifestyle is not supported under the idea that "For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved" (Romans 10:13).
probably-not-but-freebie
August 1, 2018This and most of the rest of the series is free at amazon.com right now: https://smile.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/e...
June 21, 2023
This has heavy religious themes throughout, and I felt it was at times too heavy (for my taste). I did know from the blurb what this story was about but I still wasn't prepared for it.
In general, this was an ok read, but I don't specifically recommend it. It could have benefited from tighter editing to make the transitions from past to present smoother and clearer, as well as adding more details to where Hunter and Gabe were in their relationship. Scenes would end but it wasn't said how they left it (their relationship) so I would be clueless until they would be together again.
I've read several MM stories with religious themes and sadly this one wasn't on the same par as them (for me). There was so much inner thought and worry that it overwhelmed the real action on page, of which there actually was very little looking back.
2 stars because it was ok.
In general, this was an ok read, but I don't specifically recommend it. It could have benefited from tighter editing to make the transitions from past to present smoother and clearer, as well as adding more details to where Hunter and Gabe were in their relationship. Scenes would end but it wasn't said how they left it (their relationship) so I would be clueless until they would be together again.
I've read several MM stories with religious themes and sadly this one wasn't on the same par as them (for me). There was so much inner thought and worry that it overwhelmed the real action on page, of which there actually was very little looking back.
2 stars because it was ok.
March 16, 2015
I'm sorry, I can't finish this. I knew going into this that faith and religion were going to factor heavily into this, but this is really badly written. We're forced to accept the idea that the main character is a converted Christian who, in this day and age, as a white, middle class young professional in an urban America, still thinks of homosexuality as a repressible sin that can be cured by prayer and that it's above all, a burden and test put forth to him from God . This is a story of a weak-willed man who, as an adolescent, found he couldn't deal with the idea of homosexuality and thus put himself in the trappings of a religion that doensn't accept it. And with his life falling apart will cling to it single-handedly as a last resort. Even in this framework, it's possible to write some kind of engrossing examination about the burdens and trappings of faith and sexuality, but none of that is present here. The prose is only slightly above a creative writing session. Hunter said, he said, she said, Hunter couldn't! God, why did you make me this way? Blah, blah blah. Terrible.
December 23, 2014
John Herrick is a fantastic writer that knows how to draw you into a character's heart and mind. I always feel a connection to his characters. Given the description, I got the gist of the content. But the beauty in writing a story about internal conflict is that you can dig down deep and make the story go any way you want it to. And that's where the artistry begins.
The content gets a bit heavy at times, which means you almost have to digest it slowly to grasp the heart of the book. But I love novels that make me examine the hard things in life. There are no pat answers, and Hunter asks himself just about every question a man would consider in his situation. It's tough to wrap your mind around the concept if you haven't given it much though. I found the story to be well-thought-out and spiritually sound.
On the surface, the term "gay Christian" seems like an oxymoron. But it's really a story about dark, internal secrets and hiding our true selves from the world. It's a sin like any other sin. The heart of the story is about the struggle. About pretending to be something we're not and how it not only hurts ourselves, but others we love, when we bury things deep inside and let no one in.
What spoke to my heart the most in this story was the deep, emotional conflict Hunter had within himself. The author didn't emphasize Hunter and Gabe's sexual attraction, but focused more on their feeling drawn emotionally to something not really understood, but felt nevertheless. Feelings aren't sinful. God understands that we struggle, which is where grace comes in.
The truth is Jesus came to save us from our sins - both outward and inward. That doesn't necessarily make our struggles go away. Like with the Apostle Paul, who wrestled for the rest of his life with a "thorn in the flesh." God did not take it from him even when he begged for relief. Sometimes our struggles are a part of who we are. We don't know how they started or how they will end. It's all part of the journey we call life. The lesson is to lean on God through it all. Great story and highly recommended.
The content gets a bit heavy at times, which means you almost have to digest it slowly to grasp the heart of the book. But I love novels that make me examine the hard things in life. There are no pat answers, and Hunter asks himself just about every question a man would consider in his situation. It's tough to wrap your mind around the concept if you haven't given it much though. I found the story to be well-thought-out and spiritually sound.
On the surface, the term "gay Christian" seems like an oxymoron. But it's really a story about dark, internal secrets and hiding our true selves from the world. It's a sin like any other sin. The heart of the story is about the struggle. About pretending to be something we're not and how it not only hurts ourselves, but others we love, when we bury things deep inside and let no one in.
What spoke to my heart the most in this story was the deep, emotional conflict Hunter had within himself. The author didn't emphasize Hunter and Gabe's sexual attraction, but focused more on their feeling drawn emotionally to something not really understood, but felt nevertheless. Feelings aren't sinful. God understands that we struggle, which is where grace comes in.
The truth is Jesus came to save us from our sins - both outward and inward. That doesn't necessarily make our struggles go away. Like with the Apostle Paul, who wrestled for the rest of his life with a "thorn in the flesh." God did not take it from him even when he begged for relief. Sometimes our struggles are a part of who we are. We don't know how they started or how they will end. It's all part of the journey we call life. The lesson is to lean on God through it all. Great story and highly recommended.
September 15, 2015
John Herrick desperately needs a decent editor. I'm 1/3 of the way through this book, and probably won't finish. About 100 of these first 150 pages could easily have been cut. He doesn't appear to know quite where he's going with this novel or how he'll get there, so he's repetitious and overly intent on describing his character's murky thoughts and vestigial feelings.
It's not unusual for writers to need a running start. But those unnecessary first pages are best discarded. It's cruel to inflict on the unsuspecting reader an unnecessary boys-will-be-boys porn scene in the prologue, and a first chapter featuring a blow-by-blow account of a tedious sales call on a potential client.
I'd also like to suggest to Herrick that he purchase and use a good dictionary. Someone unkind told the poor man to use more interesting vocabulary, but neglected to remind him to learn the actual meanings and proper usage of these new words.
It's not unusual for writers to need a running start. But those unnecessary first pages are best discarded. It's cruel to inflict on the unsuspecting reader an unnecessary boys-will-be-boys porn scene in the prologue, and a first chapter featuring a blow-by-blow account of a tedious sales call on a potential client.
I'd also like to suggest to Herrick that he purchase and use a good dictionary. Someone unkind told the poor man to use more interesting vocabulary, but neglected to remind him to learn the actual meanings and proper usage of these new words.
June 25, 2024
I think everyone agrees that opposites attract. In John Herrick's moving, heartfelt novel, "Between These Walls," the problem with his protagonist, Hunter Carlisle, is not how different he is from his newfound friend, Gabe Hellman, but rather that both have more in common than each is willing to acknowledge.
On the surface, everything appears to be going well for Hunter. The 26-year-old from a small Ohio town enjoys success as a software salesman, spends quality time with friends who share his devout Christian faith, and cares deeply for his jet setting girlfriend, Kara. Despite all these reasons for happiness, he struggles daily with an incorrigible attraction to the same sex that dates back to adolescence.
Unable to confide in any of his fellow churchgoers and afraid to share his secret with longtime and newly-engaged friend, Ellen, Hunter serendipitously makes the acquaintance of Gabe, a massage therapist who is not only as equally religious, but also seems to be hiding something and could use a friend, or at least someone to talk to. As Hunter and Gabe get to know each other better and realize how much they have in common, they cannot deny their mutual attraction, which leaves them torn whether and how to act upon it.
Although Hunter and Gabe are closeted Christian men, "Between These Walls" has all the ingredients of a more traditional romance novel: two lonely, complicated souls who meet by happenstance and share an instant, undeniable chemistry, yet resist temptation and deny their true feelings until their desires take control over their actions.
What separates this novel from your typical gay romance, and makes it all the more commendable, is the focus on the emotional journey, rather than the physical, between these two men. Granted, both take notice of each other's appearance the moment they are first introduced, but Hunter and Gabe are ultimately drawn to (and even aroused by) the possibility of friendship and an inherent comfort level that comes natural to them--especially when Hunter fears his job may be at risk. Closeted or not, it is especially refreshing to read about two twenty-something males who care more about finding someone special rather than just a casual hookup.
As they face this journey of self discovery together, each has to endure his own uphill battle with family, friends, townspeople, and in Hunter's case, Kara. Convinced he is abnormal, Hunter seeks advice from his pastor, who tries to assure him otherwise. Only after Hunter confronts a nearby church leader spouting hatred does he begin to better comprehend his faith, as well as unconditional love and acceptance.
With "Between These Walls," John Herrick has crafted an engaging, inspirational story with a resounding message about faith, matters of the heart and above all, inner peace.
On the surface, everything appears to be going well for Hunter. The 26-year-old from a small Ohio town enjoys success as a software salesman, spends quality time with friends who share his devout Christian faith, and cares deeply for his jet setting girlfriend, Kara. Despite all these reasons for happiness, he struggles daily with an incorrigible attraction to the same sex that dates back to adolescence.
Unable to confide in any of his fellow churchgoers and afraid to share his secret with longtime and newly-engaged friend, Ellen, Hunter serendipitously makes the acquaintance of Gabe, a massage therapist who is not only as equally religious, but also seems to be hiding something and could use a friend, or at least someone to talk to. As Hunter and Gabe get to know each other better and realize how much they have in common, they cannot deny their mutual attraction, which leaves them torn whether and how to act upon it.
Although Hunter and Gabe are closeted Christian men, "Between These Walls" has all the ingredients of a more traditional romance novel: two lonely, complicated souls who meet by happenstance and share an instant, undeniable chemistry, yet resist temptation and deny their true feelings until their desires take control over their actions.
What separates this novel from your typical gay romance, and makes it all the more commendable, is the focus on the emotional journey, rather than the physical, between these two men. Granted, both take notice of each other's appearance the moment they are first introduced, but Hunter and Gabe are ultimately drawn to (and even aroused by) the possibility of friendship and an inherent comfort level that comes natural to them--especially when Hunter fears his job may be at risk. Closeted or not, it is especially refreshing to read about two twenty-something males who care more about finding someone special rather than just a casual hookup.
As they face this journey of self discovery together, each has to endure his own uphill battle with family, friends, townspeople, and in Hunter's case, Kara. Convinced he is abnormal, Hunter seeks advice from his pastor, who tries to assure him otherwise. Only after Hunter confronts a nearby church leader spouting hatred does he begin to better comprehend his faith, as well as unconditional love and acceptance.
With "Between These Walls," John Herrick has crafted an engaging, inspirational story with a resounding message about faith, matters of the heart and above all, inner peace.
March 6, 2017
Great book! Bible says homosexuality is sin. But bible doesn't say it's okay to judge others! As a matter of fact, judging others, is sin too. Can we name one person who is not guilty of sinning, Christian or not! Hunter is representing many Christians who are struggling with same sex desires and attractions. Sometimes our faith, can and will help us to face the roots of our struggles.
What we decide, should remain something between each one of us with God. Don't get me wrong, I truly believe if a married man is attracted to another man, he must speak the truth to his family, especially his wife, who shares the same bed with him!
The good news is God gave us free will. Yes, he gives us trials, struggles, challenges, will power, support, but most importantly free will!
Lets not forget what John Herrick said at beginning of the book!
This is not only about same sex attractions. Many of us have secrets hiding deep down in our heart about something, we might be ashamed of or confused about!
I got to know John Herrick briefly. We might have different political views! But I must say he is a great writer and when it comes to story telling, he has his own unique style to connect with readers and his message is loud and clear: " compassion"!
What we decide, should remain something between each one of us with God. Don't get me wrong, I truly believe if a married man is attracted to another man, he must speak the truth to his family, especially his wife, who shares the same bed with him!
The good news is God gave us free will. Yes, he gives us trials, struggles, challenges, will power, support, but most importantly free will!
Lets not forget what John Herrick said at beginning of the book!
This is not only about same sex attractions. Many of us have secrets hiding deep down in our heart about something, we might be ashamed of or confused about!
I got to know John Herrick briefly. We might have different political views! But I must say he is a great writer and when it comes to story telling, he has his own unique style to connect with readers and his message is loud and clear: " compassion"!
February 14, 2015
the first 75% of this book I struggled with - more like a romance novel than I expected. I did a lot of speed reading to get through this section as I am not one that likes romance novels AT ALL. I came close to putting the book down and not finishing - but was curious to see how the character resolved his issues with being gay in terms of being a Christian. I am glad I finished- it was eloquently written about how pastors and churches can be so judgemental and unloving toward those that need it the most. Churches can sometimes be a place of gossip and hurt feelings and it should be a place for love and acceptance. None of us is perfect- and we need to remember that we are ALL sinners. Those who chose the homosexual lifestyle are no different- and I , for one, cannot imagine how difficult the lifestyle is- not sure that anyone would actually choose it if they felt there was a choice.
December 11, 2015
3.5 Stars
This is an excellent book for those who have no idea how to reconcile their sexuality with their religion. I agree with many of the views the author expresses here. The only problem I have with the book is the repetitive nature of Hunter's thoughts (we get it - you're in a struggle with what you want and what you should want) and the Epilogue. The epilogue gives us a glimpse of the characters' future - most of it was obvious since it could easily be deduced from the story itself, and the rest was disappointing.
But overall I enjoyed the book and would recommend it to those who like a mixture of LGBT and spirituality.
This is an excellent book for those who have no idea how to reconcile their sexuality with their religion. I agree with many of the views the author expresses here. The only problem I have with the book is the repetitive nature of Hunter's thoughts (we get it - you're in a struggle with what you want and what you should want) and the Epilogue. The epilogue gives us a glimpse of the characters' future - most of it was obvious since it could easily be deduced from the story itself, and the rest was disappointing.
But overall I enjoyed the book and would recommend it to those who like a mixture of LGBT and spirituality.
August 20, 2015
Hard topic for many Christians, so thank you John Herrick for helping me gain a greater understanding.
I chose a 5 star rating because I simply need to have an understanding on what it must be like as a homosexual trying to live in a Christian family. I would recommend anyone needing insight on this to please be open minded and read this book. I know know that no matter what are struggles in life are, God is walking beside us and guiding our journey. We only need to have faith and trust in his infinite love for all his children.
I chose a 5 star rating because I simply need to have an understanding on what it must be like as a homosexual trying to live in a Christian family. I would recommend anyone needing insight on this to please be open minded and read this book. I know know that no matter what are struggles in life are, God is walking beside us and guiding our journey. We only need to have faith and trust in his infinite love for all his children.
March 12, 2015
Hunter Carlisle is surrounded by shitty people. With the exception of Gabe, Ellen, and a very limited few others, of course. The entire book, Hunter questions his attractions and I waited for someone to tell him it was natural and okay, but that never happened. Being gay is seen as a burden at best. I would not recommend this book to others. Especially those in need of guidance and acceptance.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 18, 2016
Awesome book makes you think about things. I would definitely recommend this book to others
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews