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How to Test Negative for Stupid: And Why Washington Never Will

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* Listening Length: 8 hours and 13 minutes

One of the most distinctive and funny politicians, Senator John Kennedy (the one from Louisiana)—hailed by Politico as “America’s most quotable Senator”—offers his perceptive (and hilarious) takes on the ridiculousness of political life in this scathingly witty takedown of Washington and its elite denizens.

How to Test Negative for Stupid offers the Senator’s tongue-in-cheek guidebook through Washington, punctuated by his thoughts on various issues and humorous stories about life from Louisiana politics and inside the Senate.

From the mind—and mouth—of "America's Most Quotable Senator":

“Always be yourself . . . unless you suck.”

“I say this This is why the aliens won’t talk to us.”

“If you trust government, you obviously failed history class.”

“I believe that our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots.”

“Always follow your heart . . . but take your brain with you.”

“I’m not going to Bubble Wrap The water in Washington, D.C., won’t clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.”

“I have the right to remain silent but not the ability.”

“Common sense is illegal in Washington, D.C., I know. I’ve seen it firsthand.”

“I believe that we are going to have to get some new conspiracy theories. All the old ones turned out to be true.”

9 pages, Audible Audio

Published October 7, 2025

470 people want to read

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John Kennedy

208 books20 followers

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5 stars
1,709 (86%)
4 stars
192 (9%)
3 stars
47 (2%)
2 stars
7 (<1%)
1 star
11 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 169 reviews
1 review
October 8, 2025
My thoughts

Sen. Kennedy is an outlier on the bell curve of politicians. He says what he means and means what he says. He speaks plainly and truthfully and with a heavy coating of common sense. And, in a time when everyone is uptight and triggered by the least things, he does it ith humor. I'm glad he's MY Senator!
Profile Image for Gena Webb.
Author 9 books56 followers
October 9, 2025
Well worth the read

Granted, I might be slightly biased because Sen Kennedy is one of my favorite senators, but I thoroughly enjoyed the book. There was more than one LOL moment which I’ve come to expect from him. My only complaint? The title is misleading. I expected him to tell us how to fix the stupid in Washington, although that’s probably a lost cause. But it was a great glimpse into his life and character and made me appreciate him even more. Keep up the good work, Senator.
8 reviews2 followers
October 16, 2025
"...to a bear we all taste like chicken."

Classic John Kennedy-isms frame this book's message. I found myself smiling (and often laughing out loud) while nodding my head throughout the entire book. Mark Twain would be proud.
Profile Image for Bob.
394 reviews22 followers
October 14, 2025
Recommended To All Except Those Afflicted With TDS (Although The Book Is Not Focused on Trump)!

Sen. Kennedy’s book is a witty, sharply opinionated critique of Washington, D.C., bureaucracy, political culture, and what he sees as widespread incompetence (or worse) across both parties. He frames the work partly as a humorous “how-to” manual for avoiding foolishness in politics, and partly as a lament that the system will likely never truly reform itself.

He peppers the text with aphorisms, one-liners, personal anecdotes from his career in Louisiana and in the Senate, and pointed barbs aimed at figures across the political spectrum. He also uses some colorful (but not offensive) language and writes in a colloquial style, similar to his speaking style, to make his arguments more provocative and unapologetic.

If you enjoy bold political voices who don’t hold back, you’ll have plenty to like.
Profile Image for Jason ⭐️.
62 reviews4 followers
October 26, 2025
A fun read on an interesting personality in the world of politics. Even though I disagree on some of his choices in some people he supports, because actions speak louder than words. There’s some tunnel vision going on. Just being honest.
1 review
October 12, 2025
Best, funniest and honest, down to earth Senator in Congress!

This book is exactly who and what Senator Kennedy is!
I have watched and listened to him as much as I can. He is very intelligent, witty, honest , loyal and so down to earth . It is so refreshing to read and hear his opinions with a little country humor along with his know. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, I live in NJ however, if allowed , I would vote for him for the next 20 or more years. This is who we need to keep our great country the America it was and hopefully will continue to be. Greatest country on earth. Thanks for being you, Mr. Kennedy never change!
7 reviews3 followers
October 8, 2025
Great read! Informative, interesting and fun!

John Kennedy knows how to put words together to make the book funny and entertaining! He has high standards and obviously doesn’t suffer fools. Proud to have him in the Senate. Wish he would run for President!
Profile Image for Jack.
899 reviews17 followers
October 12, 2025
This book is a huge waste of time. The first half is mostly an autobiography. I couldn’t care less. Then there
S a lot of conversation and complements about other politicians. Barf. The title is truly misleading. 60% in and he doesn’t even hint at how to not be stupid. I generally like Kennedy, but this book , which was probably ghostwritten adds no value.
87 reviews1 follower
October 21, 2025
I listened to this book and the author is the narrator. It is fantastic in his voice!
116 reviews1 follower
October 13, 2025
Anytime I know that Senator John Kennedy is going to be on Fox News I make sure to watch. I read his book in a little over two days. I loved it!! Just about very page had me laughing out loud. Unfortunately it was either laugh or get angry because the case he made was spot on. He presented a definite case for term limits. Our representatives should serve us with diligence and integrity, not self serving and becoming wealthy because of corruption and stupidity. He made an intelligent case against the woke culture of wanting to take apart our country due to past wrongs committed and the failure to recognize that the wrongs were eventually corrected and are still being corrected and the past should be a lesson learned in an effort to not repeating. This country has had many troubles but as a whole has become a country to be proud of because of being able to correct and overcome them.
Profile Image for Roy Murry.
Author 11 books112 followers
October 17, 2025
HOW TO TEST NEGATIVE FOR STUPID:
And Why Washington Never Will

JOHN KENNEDY, USA Senator


Review by Author Roy Murry


"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness…” Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities.

Mr. Kennedy’s dissertation on his journey to and in the United States’ Capital is written in easy-to-read prose with a dab of his classic Louisiana humor.

His explanation of how Washington works and the foolishness of some who control the system has led to the worst of times. Hopefully, common-sense policies will lead to the best of times.

Senator Kennedy’s honest opinions drive home what every American can understand and should be worried about. He contends that an age of wisdom can help keep the USA afloat for another 250 years.

This non-fiction is a personal attempt to involve citizens in their country’s destiny. It’s a well-written journey, and a must-read for those with an inquisitive mind.
Profile Image for Andrea Bellard.
3 reviews
October 27, 2025
Hilarious and informative. John Kennedy kept me laughing and giggling listening to this whole book. I liked the fact that he was the one that narrated it. It made the connection much more personal. As funny as his one liners are, this book really did help to see how things can get inside the Senate.
Profile Image for Sophie.
28 reviews1 follower
October 22, 2025
I truly wish you could give anything other than full stars because this one deserves a 3.5, it was an enjoyable read but not my favorite of all time. It was a good book that was well written and had me laughing out loud at times. Senator Kennedy is extremely funny, well spoken, and I appreciated the respect with which he approached topics. I disagreed with him on a lot of things in this book but still enjoyed it and can appreciate another perspective.
Profile Image for WWDonley.
19 reviews1 follower
October 20, 2025
what a great read

This was beyond a doubt one of the best books I have ever read, John Kennedy does it in a way that only he could do. He is such a great senator and I enjoyed it if there was a way I could give it ten stars I would.
John Kennedy is a true American.
Profile Image for Jim Brown.
193 reviews32 followers
October 29, 2025
The following paragraph is the last paragraph of the Forward; it is everything you need to know as to WHY you should read this book! I am from Louisiana and Senator Kennedy has become my hero for his humor and how candidly he speaks on all topics, nothing is off-limits! He reminds me of the old cartoon character Foghorn Leghorn who also used quips to get a point across. You can read the last paragraph as it was written or you can read it below as none other than Foghorn Leghorn would have said it according to ChatGPT. Either way, I hope it tweaks your interest enough to read the book.

I say, I say now boy, listen up! This here book, son, this book is for folks who might, I say might get a chuckle—or maybe shed a tear—learnin’ about a few of the misadventures, I say experiences, that ol’ rooster here has had struttin’ ‘round that fancy coop they call the United States Senate. Some of ‘em are funny, some of ‘em ain’t so much—like a fox in a henhouse, ya never know what’s comin’ next!

Now don’t go thinkin’ senators are a bunch o’ young chicks—they’re all over forty, son, and some of ‘em been sittin’ on that roost so long their feathers done turned gray! Keep readin’, boy, you’ll see what I mean soon enough. (That means keep readin’, ya hear?)

This here book’s also for them curious folks—probably not too many of ya—who want to know just how this ol’ senator rooster came to be the way he is, why he crows when he crows, and why he scratches where he scratches. It’s about sayin’ what others just think but don’t have the gumption to say out loud.

It’s about the mighty weapon called candor, son—that’s honesty with spurs on it—and that’s somethin’ most folks up in Washington, D.C. only flirt with at cocktail parties. And I’ll tell ya one more thing—this book’s hopin’ to light a fire under ya, to make you bold enough to speak your mind and ruffle a few feathers doin’ it. Sometimes makin’ the right folks mad is the only way to know you’re tellin’ the truth.

Hopefully Foghorn has lit a fire beneath you to read Senator Kennedy’s book. You will discover as I did, the book is written very much like how we have become accustomed to hearing him when he speaks. Every page contains one-liners worth remembering and worthy of quoting.

Whether you like Attorneys or more specifically Senator Kennedy who happens to be an attorney or if you like neither, you will probably like him by the time you finish reading Chapter 4.

The first part of the book describes Kennedy’s history, his education, how he developed his beliefs and character and how he became involved in politics. It is an interesting story and it may come as a complete surprise to you. At times, he comes across as a Foghorn Leghorn type character but there is a wealth of information enhanced through education hidden beneath his oftentimes humorous responses. Senator Kennedy holds back no punches!

The book provides an insight as to how the U. S. Senate works or doesn’t work and why. I found the book to be a page turner, very had to put down and well worth the read!

Who should read this book? Anyone interested in politics or how the U. S. Senate works or doesn’t work.
Would I read it again? Probably not but will use it as a reference book.
Would I give the book as a gift? Most definitely, regardless of a person’s political affiliation because it is an eye-opener as to how the U. S. Senate and politics in general work.
160 reviews1 follower
October 29, 2025
Without a doubt the most enjoyable book on politics I have ever read...simply because the author (Kennedy) uses his good wit, humor and sarcasm to tell us all about the weirdness of you guessed it... Washington. In talking about the media he writes, "They think it's immoral to fire bad employees, to cut wasteful spending, to deport illegal immigrants, to like cops, prosecute most thieves who steal less than $950, to ask questions about vaccines and lockdowns, to use the wrong pronoun, to oppose sex-change operations for kids, to oppose trans people in women's bathrooms or locker rooms or sports, to oppose critical race theory in schools, to oppose the reading of porn in schools, and to oppose racial quotas." Previous to that he wrote that every day he prays to God not to let him hate anybody, which is a tall order because he works in Washington. "Sometimes I get up in my overpriced Capitol Hill apartment and give myself a pep talk on my way to work: 'Kennedy, today you are going to follow Jesus.'" "By 10.am. I still want to follow Jesus, but I also want to slap somebody. Still, I refuse to hate. And that includes the media."
7 reviews
October 26, 2025
more insightful than expected

I purchased this book because I watched Senator Kennedy speaking on the news where his new book was mentioned with several of his humorous remarks. The book was not leg-slapping hilarious but it was humorous throughout. It was fun to read. And Senator Kennedy ended up being very knowledgeable about the breadth of issues haunting America presently and over the last number of years. His remarks were very insightful and usually humorous but will obviously attract more right-leaning readers than left, even though his views are overwhelmingly middle of the road. Unfortunately, that not what the left wants to hear nor some of the right.
This book was almost like sitting on the front porch and listening to a smart man relate his experiences of life (with a strong leaning to his time in the political community, both local and federal). I very much enjoyed this book and the way points were, gently for the most part, presented. Highly recommend.
Profile Image for Judy.
1,963 reviews26 followers
October 21, 2025
John Kennedy from Louisiana is one of a kind! I look forward to his comments on TV. I just wish there were more senators like him. He is honest, smart and straightforward. I learned a lot about Kennedy’s life, what he considers his roll as senator, but also about how Washington “doesn’t” work! I highly recommend this book! If you are not familiar with Senator John Kennedy, here are a few of his gems!

“I believe that our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots.”
“Always follow your heart . . . but take your brain with you.”
“I have the right to remain silent but not the ability.”
“Common sense is illegal in Washington, D.C., I know. I’ve seen it firsthand.”
“I believe that we are going to have to get some new conspiracy theories. All the old ones turned out to be true.”
203 reviews4 followers
October 29, 2025
He Calls ‘em Like He Sees ‘em

In his recent book “How to Test Negative for Stupid” Louisiana Senator John Kennedy brings his home-spun humor and satiric observations on society and government, so familiar to cable news viewers, to an interesting memoir. Think Mark Twain and Will Rogers as US Senators. Cutting wit mixed with inescapable truth. Irreverent, inimitable and inarguable. He calls ‘em like he sees ‘em, and is revealing and critical without enmity. I would have preferred less of the memoir content and more of the observations on contemporary American society and government (which comprise most of the final third of the book), but Kennedy nonetheless offers a refreshing perspective that is recommended highly.
59 reviews1 follower
October 14, 2025
Plain Truth from a Common Sense Man

A great read from someone I have come to appreciate and like. I hadn't heard too much about him until some Fox News personalities began quoting him or having him on their shows.
I also didn't know his background, but I think I understand him better from reading this book. Just someone who asks questions and tries to get answers. He is a person who values common sense because it is so uncommon in today's society. I highly recommend this book to others who value middle of the road outlook on problems and solutions in our government. Jack Durrett

2 reviews
October 15, 2025
I wish John Kennedy was my Senator

This book is fantastic. Not only is Senetor John Kennedy real and candid, it has been my experience that the more educated, the more ignorant! Books are amazing but too many often make people lose their grip on the reality that the rest of us live everyday. John Kennedy has not only maintained his grip on the reality most Americans live everyday, he does it with grit and humor. I laughed through the entire book and I wish the people of CA had a desire to have leadership with half of his integrity! Thank you Senator Kennedy. I enjoyed every page! God bless!
Profile Image for Lucy R..
239 reviews2 followers
October 17, 2025
John Kennedy is marvelous, and well known for his Kennedy-isms, aka his old-fashioned southern slang he often uses in congress/during hearings…

I must admit he had some marvelous one-liners, that make me want to reread the entire book just to bookmark and highlight them so I can use them in the future.

Kennedy’s grasp on such a wide array of topics is truly extraordinary, he has a strong set of morals that a lot of his opinions stem from. Everything he said had reasoning and evidence behind it, and the subtle (and not so subtle) digs at many of the left-leaning people in congress were marvelous.

Truly fabulous read! Highly highly recommend to anyone and everyone.
8 reviews1 follower
October 21, 2025
Wit & Wisdom Worth Your While

While I read a lot since retirement, I have seldom come across a book that checks all the boxes of being thought provoking, inspiring, hilarious, entertaining, educational & plain spoken. Yup. Everyone of those. Unfortunately, I fear there won't he many book sales to Democrats. Their loss really & more proof the Progressive mindset is in an irreversible downward trajectory.
Such wit & wisdom from the lovably irascible Senator is a must read. One of his views on qualifications of school principals is that they should be a cross of Socrates & Dirty Harry. I am hopeful to see such a transformation during his time in office.
35 reviews
October 21, 2025
Great. John is my favorite elected official. His wit is so basic but hit intentionally foundation is everything I believe. All I’ve ever asked from anyone is an honest attempt at the truth. John excels at this.
I loved his portrayal of many of his other Senators. I did miss his opinion of Adam Schiff. I took that to mean it’s better to say nothing than expose his character.
The art of genius is to explain complex issues in plain language. John Kennedy excels at this. I’ve always felt if I can’t understand what a person is saying to me they either don’t know what they’re talking about or they are lieing to me.
Great read. Would love to see more. 👍
Profile Image for Tony Siciliano.
85 reviews2 followers
October 28, 2025
This is a breezy, funny book that will satisfy the senator's many admirers. Whenever he's interviewed on the news or is engaged in a Senate committee hearing, you know you'll hear the darndest, funniest, most common sense comments. He is a Republican conservative but not necessarily a MAGA loyalist. His beliefs and his actions seem to ignore political orthodoxy, but focus on truth, justice, and good sense. He enjoyed an outstanding education and served in state offices with great distinction. He's not a down-home, dim-wit rube. I believe he is this country's version of Will Rogers. Armed with his candor and humor, he is a formidable proponent of justice, equality, and the Constitution.
13 reviews
October 31, 2025
Loved this book! I did not know much about John Kennedy before reading this book. Hearing behind the scenes stories about the senate and its members, Kennedy’s passions & politics and an insider’s view of Washington- delivered in plain English and wrapped in humor, was absolutely delightful! One of the things I loved most about this book was the way it illustrates that it is possible to have positive relationships with people whose beliefs, political or otherwise, are different than your own. Kennedy himself is the narrator and he does a superb job. I felt like I was sitting across the table from him, listening to him tell his stories.
1 review
October 14, 2025
A gem

Senator Kennedy is a special individual. No question he is an intellectual man, but he knows how to communicate to everyone clearly. His use of humor in down home every day way works with the highly educated and blue collar worker. All through the book I would say to myself this man is a Senator that thinks common sense like most Americans that love this country and hate what the left is trying to it. This review comes a educator , 33 years high school teacher and 6 years at the college level.

21 reviews2 followers
October 25, 2025
Common sense doesn't exist in Washington

The writing in this book is witty, entertaining and informative. John Kennedy is what our country and government needs. Clearly he depicts why our forefathers designed our government to be a Republic. He delves into seeking the truth and hold our government officials and politicians accountable with shreds of homespun humor emphasizing his points.

A guide toward principles aimed at enriching the lives of our citizens and growth of our country in a more positive way, we need more honesty in government officials like John Kennedy.
4 reviews
October 30, 2025
....a cold drink of water....

Senator Kennedy's book is as refreshing as s cold drink of water on a hot summer's day! Using plain words, short sentences, and common sense comparisons, he drives home the point that many of our leaders have lost their way. And in doing so harm those they claim to want to help. Senator Kennedy drives home the point that intellectual and moral dishonesty seem to be more rampant than ever in today's world. I hope all my liberal friends put aside their biases and read this book. Maybe they will find that cold drink of water.
Profile Image for Miguel.
259 reviews1 follower
October 31, 2025


When I was a teenager becoming politically aware my Pop, a lifelong dyed in the wool Democrat, told me that the difference between a Democrat and a Republican was the type of garbage they tried to shove down your throat. Pop, may he rest in peace, would find a kindred soul in Sen John Kennedy of Louisiana. This book is a collection of his thoughts on the American political process that is peppered with one liners. Enjoyable and apolitical, he pushes no narrative and gives it to both sides in equal fashion.
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