My Son...My Son : A Guide to Healing After Death, Loss, or Suicide

by Iris Bolton

Book annotation not available for this title Title My Son My Son Author Bolton IrisPublisher Bolton Pr AtlantaPublication Date 19911101Number of Pages Binding Type HARDCOVERLibrary of Congress BL 00005564

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Grief

112 pages, Hardcover

Published January 1, 1991

Reviews

[Tori · Rating 5 out of 5]

3 - I read this book within a few weeks of losing my brother to suicide. This book gave me more hope that I would and that my family would survive this than anything I read before or since.

I had the privilege of attending one SOS support group that Iris led just before she retired. She is an amazing, warm, inspirational person and it comes through on every page of this book. It is too bad that everyone doesn't receive this book when they first get the terrible news.

This book helped me to avoid medication that doctors seem to want to prescribe when you go through something like this. One of my favorite quotes in the book is "Normal grief is not an emotional illness. It is a process that must be experienced. Sorrow must be accepted and allowed to mature and then, hopefully, be laid aside.

This book taught me that it is ok to exhaust yourself going through all of the "why's" even though you won't get a satisfactory answer, the importance of "telling your story" over and over, and to respect that others will grieve differently than you do.

Check out www.thelink.com where Iris use to be the Director for newsletters about survivors.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could really feel the pain and agony. I have lost a brother to suicide and a lot of what was described in the way of emotions hit very close to home if not right on the target. For that reason it was hard for me to read it but I had to finish it to find out the road to her recovery and this gift that was written about, too.

[Taylor Tyndall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Never read a book before on grief. She was pretty raw, which was helpful. New insights into it as well. Yes, specific to suicide but can be applied to all grief most likely.

[Madeline BP · Rating 4 out of 5]

The work you do is admirable Iris!

[Victoria Myers · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book comes from a mother who has also experienced the loss of her son to suicide, and while I appreciated that shared foundation, the tone felt a bit more distant than I expected. Compared to the deep emotional connection I poured into my own writing, this one felt more reserved—but it still offered meaningful insight. The version I read was a little dated, but the content remains practical and helpful for those early in their grief journey. Like many other resources on suicide loss, it leans toward framing suicide as a choice, rather than the result of an illness. Even so, I found value in the honest information it provides and how she bravely opened up conversation about suicide loss at a time when few were willing to speak about it.

[Leslie Abla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some stuff is a bit outdated in this book but the experiences shared are very accurate and resonated with me. This says it is a guide to healing after a death, loss, or suicide and I would say it is best for those after a suicide- it is very specific and most helpful here. Other books for other types of loss exist which would fit better.

[Tracy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was not a fan of this book. The author alleviates her guilt by blaming her son for his choice to end his life, and this comes up over and over. You can create a narrative around the facts in order to live with a traumatic event, but grief is extremely complicated. I needed more than this.

[Teresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

helpful

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful perspective for bereft parents.

[Tracy VanHook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very specific to teenage suicide but also remarkably honest and hopeful

[Beatrice Braun · Rating 1 out of 5]

Speaking from experience I found myself patronized and preached at ....."do as I did and you will be healed" and when several times I felt like hurling it against the wall I abandoned it instead.
Your quite extraordinary and immediate support....family,friends,neighbours,even a professional in the appropriate field for your circumstance as a personal friend!!
Hardly the norm for most people. It's more likely a painfully lonely journey,not due to any kind of malice or even thoughtlessness but because of discomfort.
Mostly people don't know what to say or they are fearful of possibly offending .At times people actively avoid you. So simple human frailty compounds the trauma. This is the common sad story shared by most of us grievers.
Not everyone would be offended by this "do gooder" book.....I was, but I don't think it would do much good either for any one who has experienced the death of a child.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Second book read after Josh's death - probably within the first three weeks. i read this in one night - lots of pages earmarked and many sentences underlined. I will go back now, almost 3 months later and journal through the book.

These survivor books will have to be re-read as time passes. These authors are speaking and writing after they have come through on the other side of the grieving process, whereas I feel as though I've just begun.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful

[Koz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book serves its purpose very well. Any survivors, strugglers or advocates for prevention should read it.

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very honest. Seems like it would be a great resources for someone who's lost anyone to suicide in particular, but a loss in general, especially a loss of a child.

[Marlana Stocking · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful, good for anyone who has lossed a loved one from suicide. :,}

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the first book I read after my son died. I don't know that there is a guide, but it helps knowing you are not alone. It is a well written and thoughtful book.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing book so true and so heartbreaking I know I'm not alone

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're not sure how to help someone whose child has died by suicide, this book provides helpful guidelines.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

first book I read after the loss of my brother

[Penny Mozingo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very authentic personal experience of the person who started the support group called compassionate friends.