Hell's Hostages

The Penetrator #41

by Lionel Derrick

Book by Derrick, Lionel

192 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 1981

About the author

Lionel Derrick is the house name, or pseudonym, for Mark K. Roberts and Chet Cummingham while writing the Penetrator series for Pinnacle Books. Roberts wrote the odd books and Cummingham the even ones.

Reviews

[The Crimson Fucker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Before I half read this book I used to ask myself when in a situation of uncertainty… what would Chuck Norris do? And then sadly realize that I can’t round kick people in the face… but that is a thing of the past!!! Cuz after The Penetrator #41 I will never do another WWCND? in my life! From now on is What Would The Penetrator Do? (WWTPD) Cuz he always knows what to do and what to said!!! I tried to put that in action today when I was leaving B&N, usually on my way out I see that hot chick on the DVD department and the only thing I can think of what to do is run back the escalators and take the elevator… but unlucky me there is always people behind me! But today I did the WWTPD? Thing… and decided that I was gonna go there and tell her that she was cute and asker out! and be all like The Penetrator and shit imagining myself with an “I’m in command mustache” a la Tom Selleck and all that… sadly I realized that I’m too much of a pussy to do something like that and all I did was walk a way in my way to the movie theater!!! It didn’t completely work cuz I didn’t do shit but it was at least a much pleasant escalator ride than usual!! And besides there can only be one Penetrator! I can’t wait now to finish the rest of the book! Maybe after a full dose of The Penetrator awesomeness I’ll manage to grow some balls!



Today when I got to B&N a friend asked me: do you want The Penetrator? And I said: Yes, yes I do! why would a male say something like that? you may ask yourself and the answer is pretty damn easy let me give you a review of this book so you can understand:

In a God forsaken land far far away some sand craps under the command of Ayatollah Assahollah have taken hostage an entire USA embassy, there one of the hostages prays to god for help… and you know what they say… be careful with what you wish for… cuz god answered this desperate man cry for help… He send the 6 foot tall impersonation of death it self! The fucking Penetrator… The Penetrator is The Man, he is that dude you don’t wanna fuck with unless you a woman, if that’s the case forget about it all you want to do is fuck him… fucking him till your nose bleed. The Penetrator accepts the mission of going there and raise hell to release the hostages from the hands of the sand craps and Ayatollah Assahollah (I wish I was making this names up) there he encounters his allies… and among them is a hot hot blond bitch that will be the subject of any man’s desire… but that only a man with the manliness of The Penetrator will be able to seduce (with the help of his Tom Selleck mustache) look I don’t wanna ruin what happens next for you… but in this action pack kick ass book The Penetrator and his team will make his enemies dance to death to the tune of a AK-47 polka, The penetrator will Please a woman using the hugeness of his manhood for 2 hours, he will use a crossbow to kill sand craps, he will use the Hue Shin Gah 5 fingers technique (that’s a move where The Penetrator punch you in the ass so fast and hard that your anus will actually go up your throat and you will choke to death with you own guts)*, and much much more!!!


*: I did make that one up… but with The penetrator everything is possible!!!!



P.S.: after reading the book I did an WWTPD… so I went downs stairs to the DVD section to ask that hot chick for her number… THANK GOD SHE WASENT THERE! Phew!

[Greg · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book starts with a dedication to someone named Joe Rosenberger, "author, patriot, and valued friend, who knows a lousy sand crab when he sees one." In case if their is any ambiguity a sand crab is a derogatory term used for Arabs. They are also called Camel Humpers many times in this book. There are a few other terms used throughout the book, but only one or two times.

I have written another review of a Penetrator book where I discussed the phallic significance of his name and the way his name is written, you can read that stuff here. This, the 41st chapter in the Penetrator saga that according to the cover has over 5 million copies in print (the series not one individual book) is sort of like the Iran Hostage Crisis of the late 70's 2.0. This takes place in a fictionalized country called Perasia where Marxist / Fundamentalist terrorists have taken over a US embassy. This isn't something that can be allowed to happen, and unlike the prolonged diplomatic process and failed attempts at rescue that happened previously in Tehran this time the Penetrator is going to be heading a team to get things settled the right way, with lots of violence, killing everyone in his way and maybe even taking a break now and then to pleasure some ladies. The last is important because with his Tom Selleck mustache he's irresistible to the ladies, and he sort of feels a duty to sleep with them because he is just that fucking good in bed. It would be greedy and wrong of him not to share the 30 minutes of pleasure he provides to the ladies. God, I wish I was half as a man as Mark Hardin (AKA the Penetrator).

I wish that the Penetrator was still out their kicking ass for us. Seeing the way he handled this situation I imagine under the tutelage of someone like GWB the entire Middle East could have become a mass graveyard, Osama Bin Laden not just captured but killed right after the Penetrator got under his skin a little with his barbed sarcasm (and turned him into a temper tantrum throwing three year old with his sarcasm, he has a knack for doing this, or maybe it's not a skill but yet another stereotype written into the book, that at heart all the bad guys are raving lunatics who break down into temper tantrums at the first sign of being criticized.). He probably could have even stopped 9/11 from happening, he's just that awesomely good at what he does. But instead at some point the Penetrator went away and we have been left alone without a man with perfect aim both with a gun and his cock in a cold and frightening world.

[Tom Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Penetrator #41: “Hell’s Hostages” by Lionel Derrick (Mark K. Roberts). Trying to capitalize on The Executioner series, The Penetrator is Mark Hardin, an ex Vietnam soldier whose girlfriend was killed by the Mafia. Now he wants revenge, and brings all his training against them. I read the first three novels in the series, and felt by #3 the series was burning itself out. Plus, the character is highly unbelievable (weren’t they all?). Six years in the Army he was medically discharged as an E-7 Master Sergeant. During those six years he obtained a 2nd degree black belt in karate, learned to speak several languages, becomes a weapons expert, etc., etc. In Vietnam, he was a sniper, a penetrator, and an undercover intelligence operative (whew!). I was surprised to learn the series actually lasted for 53 issues. By this entry, #41, it still feels the authors are struggling for plots and characters. There is now sex in the stories, which wasn’t in the first three stories, and the Penetrator becomes a clone of all the other men’s action novels.
The Middle East is the setting for this novel. The Revolution Council (People’s Liberation Army) has taken another American Embassy and its people hostage. One of the hostages is reading The Death Merchant, a men’s action paperback series, and tells another hostage, “We could use a man like Camellian right now.” Unfortunately, the plot was bad, and the characters weak – they never change throughout the story. Colonel Toro Baldwin recruits the mercenaries, with Mark Hardin in charge (codenamed Houdini), to infiltrate and get the hostages out of captivity, and kill as many bad gays as possible. We have a lot of weak fight scenes (just massive killings), some I can only imagine young boys getting a kick out of, not grown men. And of course the superman sex between Mark Hardin and one of the female associates was a plus for pre-teen boys. I thought the series should have ended after story #3, and I still feel it should have. It was really a drag getting through this one. Although I know some readers like this kind of stuff, it just wasn’t something I cared for. Heck, even The Death Merchant is better than this.

[Patrick · Rating 1 out of 5]

Jim Jaffe, the superteam's jive-talkin', Farsi-speaking black dude actually speaks Arabic. And every native Persisian(?) speaks Arabic too, not Farsi. In fact, I'm 98 percent sure that nobody speaks Farsi at anytime in this book, ever.

But don't let that or any other monumental inaccuracies bother you. And ignore the racism and misogyny, because what matter is this:

"The Penetrator gave silent thanks to the unknown GFM soldier for eliminating an unsuspected threat from the sergeant, then shot off the man's face."

Sofuckingawesome.

[Little Timmy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another men's adventure series from the 70's. Pretty much standard action, violence and sex. However a good standout is that the hero is healed and trained by an old Cheyenne Indian in the ancient mystic warrior ways of the Cheyenne. Recommended

[Seth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read every one of this series when I was a kid.