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Welcome to My Breakdown: A Memoir
The nationally bestselling author of Good Hair and The Itch pens her first book of nonfiction, a 'momoir' about her own journey caring for aging parents, raising children, being married, plunging to the depths of depression, and climbing her way out.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
288 pages, Hardcover
First published March 3, 2015
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339 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
May 15, 2015
Pretend Benilde Little is one of your girlfriends. You haven't seen her in a very long time but you don't question the disappearance. In today's high speed world the 1939 words of Dorothy in the land of Oz are scarily prescient: "People come and go so quickly here." You assume your friend is caught up in her life, with her family, as you are with yours. One day you happen to see her. It could be at the mall or on a playground or at a child's graduation ceremony. You are delighted and surprised. You ask, "Where have you been?"
She has written the answer to your question in her memoir, Welcome to My Breakdown: A Memoir. Pretend she's handed you the book. She says, "Here. This is where I've been."
Reading this book is like sitting down to tea with your long-lost friend. Over the course of many cups and many tears you get the whole tale at last. She was a journalist and a bestselling novelist when you knew her, but at one point she found herself sinking into a depression and unable to write as the twin responsibilities of caring for young children and aging parents weighed on her physically and emotionally. Add to that the dreaded demon of menopause and your friend could barely think straight let alone write a sentence. But the hurt that threatened to sink her for good was the death of her beloved mother Clara.
"I missed her with an ache that bore into every cell of my body," she writes.
Welcome to My Breakdown: A Memoir relates with a relaxed intimacy how the author walked and continues to walk through this grief. She studies the intricacies of her suffering and at times questions whether joy will be possible for her again. Because of its intimate tone this isn't a book you read--you listen to it as you would sit listening to your friend. You look at the family photos she shares within the book's pages. You note how she has inherited her mother's gloriously high cheekbones. You want to reach across the table and hold her hand during the hard parts, when you guess she probably wept when she wrote the words.
You stick with the story--you stick with her. Because deep down you recognize so many aspects of her story--the struggle to be a good mother, to find value in one's existence, to get through the day with meaning--are not hers alone. They are yours. They are your sister's. They are your aunt's. They are your cousin's. They are the struggles of every woman who seeks to make her mother proud. The time spent reading this book, the same as time spent with any good friend, is time well spent.
She has written the answer to your question in her memoir, Welcome to My Breakdown: A Memoir. Pretend she's handed you the book. She says, "Here. This is where I've been."
Reading this book is like sitting down to tea with your long-lost friend. Over the course of many cups and many tears you get the whole tale at last. She was a journalist and a bestselling novelist when you knew her, but at one point she found herself sinking into a depression and unable to write as the twin responsibilities of caring for young children and aging parents weighed on her physically and emotionally. Add to that the dreaded demon of menopause and your friend could barely think straight let alone write a sentence. But the hurt that threatened to sink her for good was the death of her beloved mother Clara.
"I missed her with an ache that bore into every cell of my body," she writes.
Welcome to My Breakdown: A Memoir relates with a relaxed intimacy how the author walked and continues to walk through this grief. She studies the intricacies of her suffering and at times questions whether joy will be possible for her again. Because of its intimate tone this isn't a book you read--you listen to it as you would sit listening to your friend. You look at the family photos she shares within the book's pages. You note how she has inherited her mother's gloriously high cheekbones. You want to reach across the table and hold her hand during the hard parts, when you guess she probably wept when she wrote the words.
You stick with the story--you stick with her. Because deep down you recognize so many aspects of her story--the struggle to be a good mother, to find value in one's existence, to get through the day with meaning--are not hers alone. They are yours. They are your sister's. They are your aunt's. They are your cousin's. They are the struggles of every woman who seeks to make her mother proud. The time spent reading this book, the same as time spent with any good friend, is time well spent.
August 7, 2022
3.5 stars. I have read and enjoyed all of Benilde Little's novels, especially her debut, Good Hair. She was the queen of 1990s black bougie lit. After a long hiatus, I was glad to read her memoir,
Welcome to My Breakdown.
She chronicles her grief of losing a parent and general malaise about her life as a wife and mother. What does it mean to have the life most women dream of - hard-working husband, beautiful kids, fancy house, and financial stability - just to feel suffocated by it? This is Benilde's life. I empathized with losing her mother, and felt the love she poured into her children. However, there were times that the chapter headings and subsequent stories didn't match up, and it made the book a little disjointed. But Benilde's story is one women something women wrestle with as we get older, taking care of parents and wondering about the longevity of marriage. And who are we, at 30? At 40? At 50? Sometimes, life and death changes us in ways we never thought possible.
March 2, 2015
I got about 25% of the way through this book and simply had to give up. Though I am sure her story is important, I wasn't feeling compelled to devote any more time to a slow-moving narrative. I will revisit this book again, but it just left me flat. In fairness to the author, I sometimes find timing is everything.
I received a free digital copy from NetGallery, in exchange for my fair and honest review.
I received a free digital copy from NetGallery, in exchange for my fair and honest review.
July 14, 2015
This is not a book about depression or even a breakdown. It's mostly about being black in New Jersey and about taking care of elder parents. The author is a good writer and there are a lot of pictures included that make it more personal, but it is not what is advertised in the title or book jacket.
May 2, 2015
Publication Date: April 21, 2015 Title: Welcome to My Breakdown – Benilde Little –– 288 Pages –Atria Books – 978-1476751955– Electronic ARC –3 Stars
I think it is so unfair to try to give an editorial rating on someone’s life story. Nevertheless, it is done on a regular basis.
The author, Benilde Little, takes readers on a journey through her life. She shares how it feels to experience things such as racism in America, being caregiver for ailing parents, all while trying to be a loving mother, devoted wife and constant writer.
I had to admit that some way into the book, I thought to myself, “Another person with rich person problems, I should be so lucky.” But then as I read I was able to relate just a bit. The life that is that of a writer’s is usually deemed a dark and depressing one. We are deemed as being introverts. We love to share, but we love being alone.
As I read on, I was saddened to see that Mrs. Little struggled with depression and trying to find her identity. It was exhilarating to read as the author shared herself with the world. I’ve never met the author before, but after reading this book and the intimate details it holds, I feel as if I know her.
If I had to give any cons on this book, it would be that some of the information was repetitive. I was privy to read an ARC (Advanced Review Copy) of the title, and so I don’t know how the final book looks. In the ARC, the author shares family photos and descriptions in each chapter. The photos are in black in white, which make them difficult to see. They are also too small. In addition, many of the photos that started off the chapter didn’t have anything to do with the chapter in which it was featured. I don’t know if I somehow missed this or if there was a method to this process.
Again, I commend the author for sharing so much of herself with us. Depression is real, and many feel hopeless and helpless, and ultimately unwilling to talk to someone, and before you know it, it’s too late.
Thank you Benilde Little for sharing your story.
I think it is so unfair to try to give an editorial rating on someone’s life story. Nevertheless, it is done on a regular basis.
The author, Benilde Little, takes readers on a journey through her life. She shares how it feels to experience things such as racism in America, being caregiver for ailing parents, all while trying to be a loving mother, devoted wife and constant writer.
I had to admit that some way into the book, I thought to myself, “Another person with rich person problems, I should be so lucky.” But then as I read I was able to relate just a bit. The life that is that of a writer’s is usually deemed a dark and depressing one. We are deemed as being introverts. We love to share, but we love being alone.
As I read on, I was saddened to see that Mrs. Little struggled with depression and trying to find her identity. It was exhilarating to read as the author shared herself with the world. I’ve never met the author before, but after reading this book and the intimate details it holds, I feel as if I know her.
If I had to give any cons on this book, it would be that some of the information was repetitive. I was privy to read an ARC (Advanced Review Copy) of the title, and so I don’t know how the final book looks. In the ARC, the author shares family photos and descriptions in each chapter. The photos are in black in white, which make them difficult to see. They are also too small. In addition, many of the photos that started off the chapter didn’t have anything to do with the chapter in which it was featured. I don’t know if I somehow missed this or if there was a method to this process.
Again, I commend the author for sharing so much of herself with us. Depression is real, and many feel hopeless and helpless, and ultimately unwilling to talk to someone, and before you know it, it’s too late.
Thank you Benilde Little for sharing your story.
June 11, 2015
I do agree with other reviewers about timing, and I read this book at the perfect time in my life. I can relate to many of the author's struggles and really appreciate the candor in her writing. That said, I did find sections and certain anecdotes either misplaced in the storyline or irrelevant. This definitely slows down the narrative and disrupts the sequential order of the story. I also felt the same about some of the photos--they felt thrown in. While they did make the memoir more authentic, there were times I had to flip back to figure out why this was placed here and who are these people in the context of this chapter. Overall, it is a good book, and the quality of writing is what I've come to expect from Mrs. Little.
August 19, 2015
Excellent read for all middle aged women
As I read this book, I could reflect on areas and times of my life when I have felt the same way. This book is a reflection of all women who have "lost their way." It is also a reflection of how clinical depression can affect all aspects of your life.
As I read this book, I could reflect on areas and times of my life when I have felt the same way. This book is a reflection of all women who have "lost their way." It is also a reflection of how clinical depression can affect all aspects of your life.
July 2, 2017
This was one of the best memoirs I've read in a long while. From the first page to the last I was totally drawn in! I could relate to almost everything Benilde Little wrote. As a matter of fact, her story was so similar to my own, there were times while reading her story I felt as if I was reading my own journal. One of the things I really appreciated in this book was the author's transparency. She told her story with a openness that left me feeling understood. This book deeply resonated with me.
January 7, 2019
A Moving Story
Benilde Little feels like somebody I might know given her background as a black woman writer. Her cute little nuclear family and her nearly perfect husband as well as her struggle with depression as a writer slipping temporarily into stay at home mom status is well written. Most moving of all is the story of her relationship with her mother and the story of her mother’s demise. On principle I am highly supportive of black women writers writing memoirs and writing about aging. I relish guidance is this area.
Benilde Little feels like somebody I might know given her background as a black woman writer. Her cute little nuclear family and her nearly perfect husband as well as her struggle with depression as a writer slipping temporarily into stay at home mom status is well written. Most moving of all is the story of her relationship with her mother and the story of her mother’s demise. On principle I am highly supportive of black women writers writing memoirs and writing about aging. I relish guidance is this area.
May 13, 2017
I appreciate the author sharing her story. It is difficult at times to balance life, family, careers and the loss of loved ones. I'm glad that she was able to find what works for her to be able to cope and persevere through life's challenges. There definitely needs to be more dialogue about mental health and depression in the African American community.
**I received a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review**
Kenya E
Soul Sistahs Book Club
**I received a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review**
Kenya E
Soul Sistahs Book Club
April 5, 2023
Audiobook
August 9, 2020
It was a slow read for me as I lost interest in the book during certain sections of the book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 20, 2015
I received the Kindle version of this book from NetGalley for my honest review.
I loved this book, it touched on many subjects that are close to me. If you have ever suffered from depression, you can sure empathise and relate with her story. She went through some tough times and handled them with grace and worked desperately not give up on herself. She has a loving family, material possessions she's been blessed with everything that people would look at and say,"Why does she have any problems everything looks fantastic from where I'm standing?" That's what really pulled me into this book, Ms. Little looked like she has it all together but inside, she suffers from the same toxic thought patterns and that we all do and some of us are still battling.
A lot of memoirs are not as candid with their most intimate feelings regarding some of the challenges they have been dealt with or without depression. She wasn't afraid to hold anything back even her own shortcomings. That's what makes a great memoir. Ms. Kelly is an amazing woman, and should be very proud of herself and the many accomplishments she has achieved. She's not only a great writer, she is also a great mother, wife and daughter. I can bet she's an awesome friend as well. This memoir has been a true inspiration to me and I'm sure it will be others as well. I hope she has experienced some healing in the process of writing it.
I loved this book, it touched on many subjects that are close to me. If you have ever suffered from depression, you can sure empathise and relate with her story. She went through some tough times and handled them with grace and worked desperately not give up on herself. She has a loving family, material possessions she's been blessed with everything that people would look at and say,"Why does she have any problems everything looks fantastic from where I'm standing?" That's what really pulled me into this book, Ms. Little looked like she has it all together but inside, she suffers from the same toxic thought patterns and that we all do and some of us are still battling.
A lot of memoirs are not as candid with their most intimate feelings regarding some of the challenges they have been dealt with or without depression. She wasn't afraid to hold anything back even her own shortcomings. That's what makes a great memoir. Ms. Kelly is an amazing woman, and should be very proud of herself and the many accomplishments she has achieved. She's not only a great writer, she is also a great mother, wife and daughter. I can bet she's an awesome friend as well. This memoir has been a true inspiration to me and I'm sure it will be others as well. I hope she has experienced some healing in the process of writing it.
July 4, 2015
After her mother died, Little--a best-selling novelist--fell into a deep depression that no treatments seemed to remedy. This memoir of the darkest period of her life is both a loving tribute to her mother Clara, and a birds-eye view of what day to day life is like for someone with severe depression.
I enjoyed this memoir on two levels. First, Little's mom was a really cool woman. I enjoyed hearing stories about her life from the perspective of somebody who obviously loved her a lot. For seconds, I appreciated just how badly the death of a parent can hurt you. Little was already struggling with minor depression, despite her privileged lifestyle, but when Clara died (in a very honest scene) Little went completely off the rails. Everybody seemed to think she'd feel better if she would only start writing again, but if therapy, meds, yoga, meditation, and the comfort of family and friends weren't cutting it, Little felt, writing probably wouldn't either...though she longed to stop being "just a mom" and get back in the swing of the literary world.
I'm probably making this sound like a total downer, but it really isn't. Maybe that's because you can tell Little is writing this from the perspective of someone who's been through hell and come out the other side. Profound grief changes people; this memoir is a good roadmap to that change. Recommended for anyone who has lost a parent or is worried about same (and let's face it - at some point, that's almost all of us).
I enjoyed this memoir on two levels. First, Little's mom was a really cool woman. I enjoyed hearing stories about her life from the perspective of somebody who obviously loved her a lot. For seconds, I appreciated just how badly the death of a parent can hurt you. Little was already struggling with minor depression, despite her privileged lifestyle, but when Clara died (in a very honest scene) Little went completely off the rails. Everybody seemed to think she'd feel better if she would only start writing again, but if therapy, meds, yoga, meditation, and the comfort of family and friends weren't cutting it, Little felt, writing probably wouldn't either...though she longed to stop being "just a mom" and get back in the swing of the literary world.
I'm probably making this sound like a total downer, but it really isn't. Maybe that's because you can tell Little is writing this from the perspective of someone who's been through hell and come out the other side. Profound grief changes people; this memoir is a good roadmap to that change. Recommended for anyone who has lost a parent or is worried about same (and let's face it - at some point, that's almost all of us).
September 20, 2016
I read the author's first book, Good Hair. Ms. Little's writing held my attention to the end of the book. I was happy to see that Ms. Little has published a new book, so I ordered "Welcome to my Breakdown" from Amazon. It's a story of her close relationship with her mother and working through her grief after her mother's passing. I wanted to read this memoir because I am dealing with the passing of my father, the person with whom I was very close. I thought it would be interesting to read someone else's story in hopes of gaining some insights that might help me work through my grief.
The memoir started with Ms. Little reminiscing of her childhood years spent with her mother, her friends, and individuals who occupied the neighborhood where she lived. I am happy to hear that she had a great relationship with her mom and that they were close. I was very close to my dad, so I could identify with the love they shared.
I struggled staying focused on her story; the memoir was very bland and generic. It got so bad that I started skipping paragraphs, then skipping pages and found that I did not miss anything substantial to her memoir. The telling of her story and the information shared just did not hold my attention. There was nothing to grasp on to regarding the overcoming of her "breakdown", so I did not gain any new insights on dealing with grief.
This is not a book I would recommend. I would say, read at your own risk.
The memoir started with Ms. Little reminiscing of her childhood years spent with her mother, her friends, and individuals who occupied the neighborhood where she lived. I am happy to hear that she had a great relationship with her mom and that they were close. I was very close to my dad, so I could identify with the love they shared.
I struggled staying focused on her story; the memoir was very bland and generic. It got so bad that I started skipping paragraphs, then skipping pages and found that I did not miss anything substantial to her memoir. The telling of her story and the information shared just did not hold my attention. There was nothing to grasp on to regarding the overcoming of her "breakdown", so I did not gain any new insights on dealing with grief.
This is not a book I would recommend. I would say, read at your own risk.
August 29, 2016
This book was mainly about the had been life of Benilde Little, a well known author and graduate of Howard University (my alma mater) who's claim to fame came from writing books about upper class Black Americans. The beginning was interesting as we learn about Little's background and upbringing in Montclair, New Jersey as well as her days at Howard and starting her career at Essence Magazine. Unfortunately the ups and downs of suburban life and guilt she felt between putting her writing on hold and not being a full time mother became simply annoying. After the 7th chapter you've basically heard it all. I sympathize with her depression she felt after losing her mother but in my opinion this book was simply a way to get one last "hooray" off to the publishers. Sorry but this is my opinion. I look forward to selling my copy on Ebay or donating it. I do hope the author found some sort of peace.
Dijah
Dijah
May 26, 2015
I just finished reading Benilde Little's Welcome to My Breakdown. I really enjoyed it. As an aspiring writer with emotional tendencies, and an unusually close relationship with my mother, this book hit close to home.
As a fan of Little's work, I had been wondering why she hadn't had a new novel in years. This book helped to explain that, and gave me a peak into Little's world. Her writing is honest and will shed light on an often ignored topic, depression in African American women.
After reading Welcome, I am encouraged and ready to hear more from this phenomenal author.
As a fan of Little's work, I had been wondering why she hadn't had a new novel in years. This book helped to explain that, and gave me a peak into Little's world. Her writing is honest and will shed light on an often ignored topic, depression in African American women.
After reading Welcome, I am encouraged and ready to hear more from this phenomenal author.
November 27, 2016
If you are looking for a book about a Black woman's journey dealing with depression and mental issues then this isnt it. If you are looking for a book about a privileged Black woman journey through the life of privileged then this is for you.
I wanted to sympathize with the author but I couldn't because she was insufferable with the consistent complaining about not writing and hating her suburban life. The jealousy of her friends' accomplishments was also annoying. There's also no real depth or introspection, the boom reads like a catalog of her life and wealth.
I wanted to sympathize with the author but I couldn't because she was insufferable with the consistent complaining about not writing and hating her suburban life. The jealousy of her friends' accomplishments was also annoying. There's also no real depth or introspection, the boom reads like a catalog of her life and wealth.
July 19, 2016
Despite professional and family success author Benilde Little finds herself deep in a despair that seems unending. As she is describing her journey personal and family stories emerge. What makes a person? What factors contribute to success or despair? What are our responsibilities? Our opportunities?
October 18, 2016
I picked it up off the shelf at the library based on the title (it actually has nothing to do with Alice Cooper..."Welcome to my breakdown" is a lyric from "Welcome to my Nightmare"), and then summary on the front book cover flap.
It's really the story of an author who lost herself for 5 years, after losing her mother.
Very short read with some great lines.
It's really the story of an author who lost herself for 5 years, after losing her mother.
Very short read with some great lines.
May 25, 2015
Beautifully written memoir & wonderful tribute to her mother. I know many women will find a piece of themselves in her stories of maintaining a balance self identity & motherhood. Very enjoyable read.
Read
July 27, 2015I loved this book. Little invites us into the complicated world of depression and her ups and down. A must read.
June 24, 2015
I can relate!
August 16, 2015
A honest, revealing memoir about the toll loss and grief leave and how it's never an easy road back from depression.
Read
June 5, 2016I lost interest pretty early on. Maybe if I didn't have so many other books I want to read, I would have taken the time to finish this one.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews