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Cupid Is a Procrastinator: Making Sense of the Unexpected Single Life
It's your eighth wedding this year. You are livening up the dance floor with a stirring rendition of YMCA when suddenly, the moment comes that separates the crowd. The slow dance. This one's for pairs. You are not a pair. You thought you would be married much sooner, but it hasn't worked out that way. You are trying to make sense of the unexpected single life.
For single young adults who are trying to find balance between contentment with the life they have and a desire to find their match made in heaven, "Cupid is a Procrastinator" is a source of comfort, relief, challenge, and inspiration. Join Kate Hurley in the story of friends who give horrible advice, Amish dating practices, being a bridesmaid more times than anyone should, and learning to trust God when you don't understand His plan.
Kate doesn't offer a magic formula that will bring your spouse to you, nor does she ask you to be content with your "gift" of singleness. With candid humor and refreshing honesty, she shares her own struggles and discoveries as a single person and invites you to come with her on a journey toward hope.
For single young adults who are trying to find balance between contentment with the life they have and a desire to find their match made in heaven, "Cupid is a Procrastinator" is a source of comfort, relief, challenge, and inspiration. Join Kate Hurley in the story of friends who give horrible advice, Amish dating practices, being a bridesmaid more times than anyone should, and learning to trust God when you don't understand His plan.
Kate doesn't offer a magic formula that will bring your spouse to you, nor does she ask you to be content with your "gift" of singleness. With candid humor and refreshing honesty, she shares her own struggles and discoveries as a single person and invites you to come with her on a journey toward hope.
240 pages, Paperback
First published March 18, 2013
9 people are currently reading
141 people want to read
About the author
Kate Hurley
12 books5 followersKate Hurley is a worship leader, singer-songwriter, and teacher based out of Boulder, Colorado. She writes the popular blog The Sexy Celibate and has a passion to care for the poor through her art and her friendship. The mission statement for her life is "to paint an accurate picture of a passionate God." Visit her at www.katehurley.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
November 8, 2015
RESEÑA EN ESPAÑOL COMPLETA
Single people: Welcome to the club!
For all those people who feel that the years go faster than they should, and that the wishes of finding the perfect partner are far: read this book.
Kate Hurley exposes us realistically, sometimes raw and censorship, the single life and the struggles versus married people. The classic answers and advice other people say, and often without knowing it, they strengthen the thoughts of loneliness that may cross our heads.
It seems that just when we want to find our dream partner; everyone else seems to be enjoying the love and tell us to "wait upon the Lord" and "contentment with our singleness" ... Does this sound familiar?
But in this book teaches us how society has changed the way we view marriage and often, we hope to find a partner to be the solution to all our problems, including the feeling of loneliness.
However, Kate explains that most of the world's population is single and is more than one person going through the same as you. Furthermore, tells of her own experience, how she deals with the problems of being single and how she found hope in God.
This is not your typical book of "how to find your ideal partner," nor to "settle for being single", but offers a different perspective on how our relationship with God is the solution to the problem of loneliness, but also gives hope to enjoy the full singleness and have a clear mind about marriage and family.
I enjoyed it and I totally recommend it.
-Copy provided by Netgalley but this fact didn't influence the review-
July 10, 2018
Frightened of being alone. All of us desire three basic things: to be loved for who we are, to feel like we’re valuable, and to know we’re not alone.
Where to begin... I have so many mixed feelings. I did not go into this story knowing what it was about. I expected this to be a lighthearted, maybe even humorous story about being single at the age of thirty and beyond. What this actually is, is a story of a woman in her thirties who has turned to God for many reasons, loneliness being one of them. She is a song writer and is still single as far as I am aware. Her being single and still ending up single at the end of this story does not hinder my review in anyway. Not knowing what I was getting into was on me. I could have stopped reading once I realized that this was different than I was expecting, but I still found it intriguing and wanted to know what Kate had to say.
The thing that kept me at a 2, maybe even a 2.5, is that I am not personally a very religious person. I did find myself having to dedicate my full attention to this story when I was reading because it was just that easy to get distracted from. Meaning that there were parts that I could not strongly relate to like that of a fellow christian. Regardless of my religious background I could appreciate the religious information included throughout. With that in mind, there is only one part where I almost felt that she was almost putting down another religion and I didn't love that.
Another downfall in my opinion is that the structure of this book was very similar to that of a college paper. Quotes from other stories, citations with crediting throughout the story, referencing other author's books. Because of this, most of the book was made mostly of other's words than her own.
“We spend the first half of our lives trying to meet the one we will marry. We spend the second half of our lives trying to connect with that person.”
I do feel bad for giving this such a low review because I did put this down at one point, but kept thinking about it enough that I had to pick it back up. I also feel that there were several quotes in this book that will stick with me and I feel like if a book is really good then you will find passages in it that mean something to you. I have read several good books and not felt that there was a single quote important enough to remember. Though it was a hard read for me, I do feel that this could reach many people who struggle with feeling lonely or have a deep connection with God.
You don’t have to be strong I will be strong for you You don’t have to say a word, love Being close to you is all I want Rest here in my love Till it’s enough for you Be still and know Quiet your soul
Where to begin... I have so many mixed feelings. I did not go into this story knowing what it was about. I expected this to be a lighthearted, maybe even humorous story about being single at the age of thirty and beyond. What this actually is, is a story of a woman in her thirties who has turned to God for many reasons, loneliness being one of them. She is a song writer and is still single as far as I am aware. Her being single and still ending up single at the end of this story does not hinder my review in anyway. Not knowing what I was getting into was on me. I could have stopped reading once I realized that this was different than I was expecting, but I still found it intriguing and wanted to know what Kate had to say.
The thing that kept me at a 2, maybe even a 2.5, is that I am not personally a very religious person. I did find myself having to dedicate my full attention to this story when I was reading because it was just that easy to get distracted from. Meaning that there were parts that I could not strongly relate to like that of a fellow christian. Regardless of my religious background I could appreciate the religious information included throughout. With that in mind, there is only one part where I almost felt that she was almost putting down another religion and I didn't love that.
Another downfall in my opinion is that the structure of this book was very similar to that of a college paper. Quotes from other stories, citations with crediting throughout the story, referencing other author's books. Because of this, most of the book was made mostly of other's words than her own.
“We spend the first half of our lives trying to meet the one we will marry. We spend the second half of our lives trying to connect with that person.”
I do feel bad for giving this such a low review because I did put this down at one point, but kept thinking about it enough that I had to pick it back up. I also feel that there were several quotes in this book that will stick with me and I feel like if a book is really good then you will find passages in it that mean something to you. I have read several good books and not felt that there was a single quote important enough to remember. Though it was a hard read for me, I do feel that this could reach many people who struggle with feeling lonely or have a deep connection with God.
You don’t have to be strong I will be strong for you You don’t have to say a word, love Being close to you is all I want Rest here in my love Till it’s enough for you Be still and know Quiet your soul
March 3, 2018
To read more reviews: girlonthemoveblog.com/gotm-reads
As a single, thirty-something, I thought this book provided some good insight on not drowning in pity for the life I thought I would have, but instead making the most of this unexpected life. However, my favorite quote in the book is not just for singles but for ALL people..."Can you imagine what the world would be like if all of us set out to find someone very different from us and then learned their stories?"
As a single, thirty-something, I thought this book provided some good insight on not drowning in pity for the life I thought I would have, but instead making the most of this unexpected life. However, my favorite quote in the book is not just for singles but for ALL people..."Can you imagine what the world would be like if all of us set out to find someone very different from us and then learned their stories?"
December 13, 2015
Yeah Sometimes being single sucks but I didn't like the self-pity tone that was so heavy in this book ,It made me feel kinda depressed .I understand how much hard it is to be single and to be under pressure to get married but worrying and freaking out and wallowing in self-pity never helped
What I liked most though is the strength of the author's faith and choosing to believe in God's goodness and to be grateful for what she already has .I think most women are like sticking to schedule I should get engaged and married by certain age and also have children at that age ,who sets those rules that we never question?!! I do believe that everything happens in its divine perfect timing .Most of the time ,we look at things from our limited human perspective and forget that God has always a better plan for us and give us what we really want when we are ready to receive it
If you are struggling with anything in this life not just with singleness,pray to God sincerely ,pour your heart out ,cry ,get down on your knees and before you even know it ,you will find God answering your prayer
And finally I want to offer the author my sincere prayer
May you find a good husband who makes you happy and bring you even more closer to God ,Amen
What I liked most though is the strength of the author's faith and choosing to believe in God's goodness and to be grateful for what she already has .I think most women are like sticking to schedule I should get engaged and married by certain age and also have children at that age ,who sets those rules that we never question?!! I do believe that everything happens in its divine perfect timing .Most of the time ,we look at things from our limited human perspective and forget that God has always a better plan for us and give us what we really want when we are ready to receive it
If you are struggling with anything in this life not just with singleness,pray to God sincerely ,pour your heart out ,cry ,get down on your knees and before you even know it ,you will find God answering your prayer
And finally I want to offer the author my sincere prayer
May you find a good husband who makes you happy and bring you even more closer to God ,Amen
January 26, 2015
I was surprised by how much I liked this book, and especially by how relateable I found it. As an "old married woman" one could perhaps claim that I am not the intended target audience of this book, but even so I discovered that Kate Hurley had words of wisdom for me as well, and I found myself highlighting passages all over the place.
Because in the end, Kate Hurley's book is about "hope deferred" (Proverbs 13:12). For Kate Hurley, Cupid turned out to be a procrastinator. Others may be waiting on the stork, better health, a house, a job or any other milestone event. The "hopes" are different, but the way we can chose to respond and react really isn't, in the end.
"Cupid is a Procrastinator" is a refreshingly honest take on the issue of singleness, that doesn't offer platitudes ("Just wait! It'll happen when you least expect it!") but dares broach the subject of what to do if it never happens, and how to live a fulfilling life, even with a "hope deferred".
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with this ARC.
Because in the end, Kate Hurley's book is about "hope deferred" (Proverbs 13:12). For Kate Hurley, Cupid turned out to be a procrastinator. Others may be waiting on the stork, better health, a house, a job or any other milestone event. The "hopes" are different, but the way we can chose to respond and react really isn't, in the end.
"Cupid is a Procrastinator" is a refreshingly honest take on the issue of singleness, that doesn't offer platitudes ("Just wait! It'll happen when you least expect it!") but dares broach the subject of what to do if it never happens, and how to live a fulfilling life, even with a "hope deferred".
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with this ARC.
January 13, 2015
Being honest: I enjoyed this book. I really did... BUT, -yeah, there is a but-
I don't agree with the author in some little aspects, maybe because we're from different cultures and we live in totally different realities.
HOWEVER, -as I said- I really enjoyed this book. Was funny, pretty honest and make me smile in some references that I completely understand -I mean, we're singles, right?-.
Although this may seem like a book for desperate singles, you don't have to be one for read this book.
It helped me to see my singleness in a very different way and also to understand how other people see it too, so at the end, it left me full of hope.
So, I recommend this book to all those 13 year old who think they are old and they're never going to fell in love; and also for those 80 year old who think they're never going to get married.
-I received a free eBook from Netgalley but this fact didn't influence the review-
I don't agree with the author in some little aspects, maybe because we're from different cultures and we live in totally different realities.
HOWEVER, -as I said- I really enjoyed this book. Was funny, pretty honest and make me smile in some references that I completely understand -I mean, we're singles, right?-.
Although this may seem like a book for desperate singles, you don't have to be one for read this book.
It helped me to see my singleness in a very different way and also to understand how other people see it too, so at the end, it left me full of hope.
So, I recommend this book to all those 13 year old who think they are old and they're never going to fell in love; and also for those 80 year old who think they're never going to get married.
-I received a free eBook from Netgalley but this fact didn't influence the review-
January 4, 2015
Quite simply the best book I have ever read on being a single Christian. *I read an ARC of this title from the publisher via NetGalley.
February 20, 2020
“𝘐 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯.”
The intro of this book actually kind of annoyed me (it’s a story of the author’s experience at one of her friend’s weddings) but about two chapters past the intro I began to like it.
What Kate does in this book isn’t complain or lament about being a single adult but allow space for the reader to feel seen, to feel known in their singleness. It’s just a context but when all your friends are married and some with kids, they don’t understand what it’s like for us. Being single in your late 20s/early 30s and beyond is not the same as being single as a teen or in college. She is open and honest about the unique struggles we face and think about. For example, if we’re sick, we don’t have a spouse to take care of us. She shares her story of how she came to find out she has Lyme’s disease and how she dealt with it alone. In regards to both our freedom as a single adult but also feeling the loss, the void of not having someone to share life with, Kate writes “𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘞𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯.”
Out of all the few books written for this demographic, I liked this one the best. They’re all real and honest, but this one digs in a bit deeper. It sympathizes more, really bringing to light what it means to be a single adult. Just because we’re single doesn’t mean we don’t have heartache and stress. She calls the married friends around singles to step up and be our family, to invite us in, not just so they can have a babysitter on-call, but to meet us in our aloneness. I give this one a 3.5 rating (too bad we can’t give a half star rating).
Other things she wrote that stuck out to me are:
𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵.
𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘮.
The intro of this book actually kind of annoyed me (it’s a story of the author’s experience at one of her friend’s weddings) but about two chapters past the intro I began to like it.
What Kate does in this book isn’t complain or lament about being a single adult but allow space for the reader to feel seen, to feel known in their singleness. It’s just a context but when all your friends are married and some with kids, they don’t understand what it’s like for us. Being single in your late 20s/early 30s and beyond is not the same as being single as a teen or in college. She is open and honest about the unique struggles we face and think about. For example, if we’re sick, we don’t have a spouse to take care of us. She shares her story of how she came to find out she has Lyme’s disease and how she dealt with it alone. In regards to both our freedom as a single adult but also feeling the loss, the void of not having someone to share life with, Kate writes “𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘞𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯.”
Out of all the few books written for this demographic, I liked this one the best. They’re all real and honest, but this one digs in a bit deeper. It sympathizes more, really bringing to light what it means to be a single adult. Just because we’re single doesn’t mean we don’t have heartache and stress. She calls the married friends around singles to step up and be our family, to invite us in, not just so they can have a babysitter on-call, but to meet us in our aloneness. I give this one a 3.5 rating (too bad we can’t give a half star rating).
Other things she wrote that stuck out to me are:
𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵.
𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘮.
January 23, 2019
Since I'm not a fan of the self-help genre and really didn't want to read about why singleness is a "gift", this book was better than I expected. Most of the chapters I didn't personally relate to, but there were a few standout chapters. In between the silly personal anecdotes, Hurley shows a lot of biblical wisdom that could be applied to any Christian in a season of waiting. Actually, this would be a good read for married people so they can better understand us singles!
January 19, 2021
This was a fantastic book. Read it at the perfect time too - the week of my 30th (the age of the author in one of the first stories she shares). I would recommend this to anyone in their late 20s or older. I fully plan to pass this along to my single sisters!
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October 26, 2022I could not finish this book. It wasn’t for me. I didn’t get much out of what I did read. I made it to chapter 12. The introduction was the best part. I was having a hard time connecting some of the stories she told to the topic of the chapter.
May 14, 2018
I can't recommend this book highly enough. I read it a number of years ago when I was in the "depths" of singleness. I found Kate's views on thriving while being single uplifting, encouraging, and challenging. In a sea of annoying books on singleness that can often tend to all feel like different versions of the same old story, Getting Naked Later felt truly refreshing for my soul.
May 23, 2014
As a regular reader of Kate Hurley's blog thesexycelibate.com, I knew before this book was even published that I'd want to read it. Her writing on the blog is poetic, piercing, sometimes filled with raw emotion but pretty much shot through with the desire to glorify God and love others despite -- or sometimes by way of -- her singleness.
Hurley is around 36 years old at the time of writing, a Christian songwriter who's slowly letting go of the fierce desire she feels for a husband and family. She becomes very vulnerable in sharing some of her stories, both in her book and on her blog, but those stories are often the very ones that single women (and men, in some cases) can identify with. Stories like how she's been in 33 weddings (take that, 27 Dresses!) or how she suffered from Lyme disease for several years, or how she got into ministry to urban homeless or how the youth group frenzy around Josh Harris's book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" doomed a generation of young Christians like her to awkward friendlationships.
OK, I exaggerate on that last bit. A little. But her chapter on "90's Dating Gone Bad" is drawn in part from a series of posts on her blog that are worth checking into. If you like them, you'll like the book, a mix of therapy and wisdom for older singles... or even young ones like me who apparently are old at heart. (Old at heart? Is that a thing?)
For that matter, younger single gals would benefit from reading about her mistakes and what she learned from them -- especially if you younger single gals are interested in dating well, getting married and avoiding divorce. There's the standard stuff about looking past a handsome face to observe a guy's character, but there's also some advice on how to respond gracefully -- or even snarkily -- to well-meaning, but unhelpful, comments and advice from your friends.
To sum up: A certain demographic will love this book, most likely. If you're not sure that you're part of that group, don't take my word on her book -- just check out the most well-read posts on her blog and decide for yourself.
Hurley is around 36 years old at the time of writing, a Christian songwriter who's slowly letting go of the fierce desire she feels for a husband and family. She becomes very vulnerable in sharing some of her stories, both in her book and on her blog, but those stories are often the very ones that single women (and men, in some cases) can identify with. Stories like how she's been in 33 weddings (take that, 27 Dresses!) or how she suffered from Lyme disease for several years, or how she got into ministry to urban homeless or how the youth group frenzy around Josh Harris's book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" doomed a generation of young Christians like her to awkward friendlationships.
OK, I exaggerate on that last bit. A little. But her chapter on "90's Dating Gone Bad" is drawn in part from a series of posts on her blog that are worth checking into. If you like them, you'll like the book, a mix of therapy and wisdom for older singles... or even young ones like me who apparently are old at heart. (Old at heart? Is that a thing?)
For that matter, younger single gals would benefit from reading about her mistakes and what she learned from them -- especially if you younger single gals are interested in dating well, getting married and avoiding divorce. There's the standard stuff about looking past a handsome face to observe a guy's character, but there's also some advice on how to respond gracefully -- or even snarkily -- to well-meaning, but unhelpful, comments and advice from your friends.
To sum up: A certain demographic will love this book, most likely. If you're not sure that you're part of that group, don't take my word on her book -- just check out the most well-read posts on her blog and decide for yourself.
March 15, 2016
This book is written by one of my favorite bloggers The Sexy Celibate. Kate Hurley is authentic, funny, and inspiring as she shares her reluctant journey with singleness into her 30s. So many authors writing on being single either gloss over the hard times or move toward complaint & bitterness. Kate avoids both extremes. She gives a much needed voice & validation to the hurt & lonliness of being single and shares her deepest desires with refreshing vulberability and honesty. She does that well, but just as important, Kate shares a deeper picture of God working in her life in ways that redeem & transcend the marital status, about learning to look & to love from His perspective, of intentionally cultivating family & community, and living abundantly in God's purpose for her life. Her book edges on the question - what if? What if I never get married? Probably one of the scariest questions for singles to ask but probably one that gets to the heart of the matter. Her answer is yes, she would be disappointed, but yes, her life still has meaning and overwhelmingly yes, God is still good.
This book is different from the other books out there on singleness and dating. In fact, I will say the title of the book, while clever, is misleading. Some people may shy away from it thinking it is about celibacy or boundaries within dating. This book is not that, at all. She even pokes fun at the church dating culture a little bit in and sorts through the somewhat harried "advice" people have for singles with humor and grace. What else can you do with all the well-meaning but misguided "help" friends & family sometimes offer?! She shares personal & relatable stories - we've all been there with some of the dates gone awry and relationships that end in heartbreak. She pulls it together with tangible encouragement and hope. It is well-written and a very worthwhile read and one that just reminds us singles that while single, we are not alone. She gets it. And more importantly, she points us to the God who gets it and intimately cares about us.
This book is different from the other books out there on singleness and dating. In fact, I will say the title of the book, while clever, is misleading. Some people may shy away from it thinking it is about celibacy or boundaries within dating. This book is not that, at all. She even pokes fun at the church dating culture a little bit in and sorts through the somewhat harried "advice" people have for singles with humor and grace. What else can you do with all the well-meaning but misguided "help" friends & family sometimes offer?! She shares personal & relatable stories - we've all been there with some of the dates gone awry and relationships that end in heartbreak. She pulls it together with tangible encouragement and hope. It is well-written and a very worthwhile read and one that just reminds us singles that while single, we are not alone. She gets it. And more importantly, she points us to the God who gets it and intimately cares about us.
September 28, 2015
(Thank you Netgalley for a copy of this book!)
I have never highlighted so many paragraphs in a book in a long time. Cupid is a Procrastinator by Kate Hurley is a fantastic book. This book is on the topic of being single. I have read a number of books regarding the topic of dating and purity, but none of them have affected me the way in which this book has. Kate does a wonderful job at describing her life as a single woman and how that has affected her daily life. She also makes comparisons on what it may be like to be single in the world and to be single as a Christian. She also discusses the ways being single can be a good thing, but also the way in which single people can struggle. There are many, many parts of this book that I enjoy, but my favorites are the way in which Kate incorporates Bible passages. I know sometimes when I read the Bible, it is difficult for me to relate to some of the passages because the people in the Bible lived in a different time period than I do. Sometime I forget that they struggled with the same issues that people in the world are facing today. One of those struggles in loneliness, whether it's because a couple can't have kids or someone feels alone because of being different than others. No matter what the situation is Kate was able to make it relatable to the current 21st century. At the end of the book, this is not a spoiler, Kate writes how no matter what we are going through in this world our ultimate hope, peace and joy will be in heaven when we meet the Lord face to face and we can worship His name for forever. This book has changed my life for the better and it gave me a different perspective of my life of being a single woman in this time of my life. I highly recommend this book to any single person and it is a great reminder that our ultimate comfort and love is in God.
I have never highlighted so many paragraphs in a book in a long time. Cupid is a Procrastinator by Kate Hurley is a fantastic book. This book is on the topic of being single. I have read a number of books regarding the topic of dating and purity, but none of them have affected me the way in which this book has. Kate does a wonderful job at describing her life as a single woman and how that has affected her daily life. She also makes comparisons on what it may be like to be single in the world and to be single as a Christian. She also discusses the ways being single can be a good thing, but also the way in which single people can struggle. There are many, many parts of this book that I enjoy, but my favorites are the way in which Kate incorporates Bible passages. I know sometimes when I read the Bible, it is difficult for me to relate to some of the passages because the people in the Bible lived in a different time period than I do. Sometime I forget that they struggled with the same issues that people in the world are facing today. One of those struggles in loneliness, whether it's because a couple can't have kids or someone feels alone because of being different than others. No matter what the situation is Kate was able to make it relatable to the current 21st century. At the end of the book, this is not a spoiler, Kate writes how no matter what we are going through in this world our ultimate hope, peace and joy will be in heaven when we meet the Lord face to face and we can worship His name for forever. This book has changed my life for the better and it gave me a different perspective of my life of being a single woman in this time of my life. I highly recommend this book to any single person and it is a great reminder that our ultimate comfort and love is in God.
October 23, 2015
Me likey :) Honest and hopeful book for singles, written by single who is suffering and trying to find a sense and value in being unvoluntarily single when desiring companionship and marriage. Authoress Kate Hurley is very authentic because she wears no mask in front of her readers, or more - her friends, because that is what you have become. When she suffers, she says it. When she she feels hopeful and loved, she says it as well. If you are suffering from your singleness, you dont have to hide it before Kate, she knows and understands. Kudos to her and her big heart for that!
Kate tackles a lot of subjects the single people have difficulties with - loneliness, opinions and prejudices, expectations, life conditions, anger, children - but mostly trust. How can you trust God who should love you, when He lets you go through this painful singleness? I pretty much adore how barefaced she is with this, and with her great faith to stand up again and again and to go to her Father. And it is not just one "yes", but a lot of yeses, again and again.
I believe there are two kinds of people, both equally good - the ones who are more rational and the ones who are more emotional. I believe that this is a book more suitable for the emotional people. The authoress is an emotional girl herself, creative with good imagination, being artistic and just feeling very strongly. And kudos to her again because she manages to have structure, reality and sound advice here as well - what is usable for rational people too.
I will take some advice to my journey as well, but mostly the authenticity and honesty. And I desire to love and trust as much as Kate.
Kate tackles a lot of subjects the single people have difficulties with - loneliness, opinions and prejudices, expectations, life conditions, anger, children - but mostly trust. How can you trust God who should love you, when He lets you go through this painful singleness? I pretty much adore how barefaced she is with this, and with her great faith to stand up again and again and to go to her Father. And it is not just one "yes", but a lot of yeses, again and again.
I believe there are two kinds of people, both equally good - the ones who are more rational and the ones who are more emotional. I believe that this is a book more suitable for the emotional people. The authoress is an emotional girl herself, creative with good imagination, being artistic and just feeling very strongly. And kudos to her again because she manages to have structure, reality and sound advice here as well - what is usable for rational people too.
I will take some advice to my journey as well, but mostly the authenticity and honesty. And I desire to love and trust as much as Kate.
December 6, 2014
*I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.*
Yes. Yes to this book, this author, these words - YES.
I desperately wish Cupid Is a Procrastinator: Making Sense of the Unexpected Single Life had been the book I'd read about singleness years ago. I have been married for nearly 10 years but had no idea of the baggage I carried from growing up in the same era and setting as Kate Hurley. She is witty and snarky and serious and lovely in her writing, and I was challenged and encouraged on every page.
I'm so grateful to Kate Hurley for writing this book and have added its publication date to my calendar so that I can buy copies as gifts: because [Cupid Is a Procrastinator|3042506] is most certainly a gift.
Yes. Yes to this book, this author, these words - YES.
I desperately wish Cupid Is a Procrastinator: Making Sense of the Unexpected Single Life had been the book I'd read about singleness years ago. I have been married for nearly 10 years but had no idea of the baggage I carried from growing up in the same era and setting as Kate Hurley. She is witty and snarky and serious and lovely in her writing, and I was challenged and encouraged on every page.
I'm so grateful to Kate Hurley for writing this book and have added its publication date to my calendar so that I can buy copies as gifts: because [Cupid Is a Procrastinator|3042506] is most certainly a gift.
July 23, 2016
As a divorced woman, I'm not quite her target audience - Cupid hit me at age 19 and that didn't work out so well. That said, I enjoyed Kate Hurley's honest discussion of the emotions that many single (and single-again) people experience. The rant chapter tickled me, and I particularly appreciated her thoughts on being willing to find "family" relationships outside of marital or biological relationships.
It could have used some more careful editing - as a copy editor, it was hard not to wince at minor errors that should have been caught before publication. I wasn't crazy about her penchant for quoting her own songs, sometimes at length. I occasionally found myself wondering when the sales pitch for her album was going to start.
That said, I highlighted several sections in the book to read to my also single-again boyfriend. There was plenty of good food for thought about relationships, singleness (your own or other people's), and family, regardless of the reader's own marital status.
It could have used some more careful editing - as a copy editor, it was hard not to wince at minor errors that should have been caught before publication. I wasn't crazy about her penchant for quoting her own songs, sometimes at length. I occasionally found myself wondering when the sales pitch for her album was going to start.
That said, I highlighted several sections in the book to read to my also single-again boyfriend. There was plenty of good food for thought about relationships, singleness (your own or other people's), and family, regardless of the reader's own marital status.
August 1, 2014
I knew nothing about this book before a friend suggested it other than it was by a Christian blogger. But I will admit, the title did catch my interest and pique my curiosity. I started reading not really knowing what to expect.When she started talking about ministering to the Rainbow Family, I wasn't sure what to think. That may be because they are gathering just miles from where I live and have been in the news a lot lately.
I had a hard time rating this book. I settled three stars because I skimmed through a lot but there was so much that hit so close to home that I really enjoyed. It took me a couple weeks of intermittent reading to get through it and by the end realized what I wanted from the book was to be able to read it in a couple days. Part of me has a desire to go through and edit it. Keep the great stuff, weed out the rest. The author is very funny and I wish I had seen a little more of that in the book since that is what tends to resonate with me more.
I had a hard time rating this book. I settled three stars because I skimmed through a lot but there was so much that hit so close to home that I really enjoyed. It took me a couple weeks of intermittent reading to get through it and by the end realized what I wanted from the book was to be able to read it in a couple days. Part of me has a desire to go through and edit it. Keep the great stuff, weed out the rest. The author is very funny and I wish I had seen a little more of that in the book since that is what tends to resonate with me more.
November 14, 2014
Thank you to Netgalley and Harvest House for the ARC!
Honestly surprised by how much I enjoyed this. Normally I read books on singleness through one squinty eye, ready to be offended at the first sign that the author's take on singleness is that "singleness = waiting for our future husbands" and so forth, but this book isn't like that. It's an honest take on the experience of long-term adult singleness, and Hurley nails down most of the biggest issues that singles face. Best of all, she has a fine turn of phrase, and some sections had me actually chuckling out loud. Although I can't get on board with EVERYTHING she says (when will the day dawn that we ever DO agree entirely with any given author?) I'd say that if you're going to read any recently-published book on singleness, read this one.
Honestly surprised by how much I enjoyed this. Normally I read books on singleness through one squinty eye, ready to be offended at the first sign that the author's take on singleness is that "singleness = waiting for our future husbands" and so forth, but this book isn't like that. It's an honest take on the experience of long-term adult singleness, and Hurley nails down most of the biggest issues that singles face. Best of all, she has a fine turn of phrase, and some sections had me actually chuckling out loud. Although I can't get on board with EVERYTHING she says (when will the day dawn that we ever DO agree entirely with any given author?) I'd say that if you're going to read any recently-published book on singleness, read this one.
April 3, 2015
This is the first honest, funny, real, Jesus - centered book on singleness that I have read and I'm so very thankful that Kate wrote it.
Often books on singleness - whether the theology of singleness or how to be a good single person (whatever that means) - can be filed under the word "trite." This one does not fall into that category. The author is winsome and bold and honest in a way that made me feel like I was sitting in her living room, weeping and rejoicing as we talked about our lives.
If you're reading this and you struggle (even if it's a cyclical struggle) with singleness, get this book. If you're married and want to love your single friends better, read this book. If you just want to love Jesus more, read this book. You won't regret it.
Thank you to Net Galley and Harvest House publishers for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Often books on singleness - whether the theology of singleness or how to be a good single person (whatever that means) - can be filed under the word "trite." This one does not fall into that category. The author is winsome and bold and honest in a way that made me feel like I was sitting in her living room, weeping and rejoicing as we talked about our lives.
If you're reading this and you struggle (even if it's a cyclical struggle) with singleness, get this book. If you're married and want to love your single friends better, read this book. If you just want to love Jesus more, read this book. You won't regret it.
Thank you to Net Galley and Harvest House publishers for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
April 2, 2015
Being a single adult is not easy. I love to Kate Hurley’s book Cupid is a Procrastinator: Making Sense of the Unexpected Single Life captures that.
She starts off confronting a common, easy misconception: we are less because we’re alone. She moves into advice to and from married folks, and ends with ways to seize this season the best we can.
She writes “All of us desire three basic things: to be loved for who we are to feel like we’re valuable, and to know we’re not alone.”
I love how honest she is about this life stage but sometimes I felt like I was attending a pity party. It’s easy to slip there and while I don’t think that was Kate’s intent, it does happen. Overall, the book is full of great wisdom, hard truths, and hope.
She starts off confronting a common, easy misconception: we are less because we’re alone. She moves into advice to and from married folks, and ends with ways to seize this season the best we can.
She writes “All of us desire three basic things: to be loved for who we are to feel like we’re valuable, and to know we’re not alone.”
I love how honest she is about this life stage but sometimes I felt like I was attending a pity party. It’s easy to slip there and while I don’t think that was Kate’s intent, it does happen. Overall, the book is full of great wisdom, hard truths, and hope.
May 10, 2015
Honest and real. This book seems to be classified as a book for Christians, but I found it more to be a book for humans, single and shacked up.
This is the first book about singles that doesn't just make you feel like it's ok that you're still waiting for your spouse, boyfriend, soulmate or whatever. This is a book about being ok with being single, about the good and the bad of a single status. It's empowering to feel like you're normal, not too picky, too unlovable, too crazy or 'too something' for being unwilling to settle. Sometimes it's not your fault, sometimes it's just how life works. And that's ok.
This is the first book about singles that doesn't just make you feel like it's ok that you're still waiting for your spouse, boyfriend, soulmate or whatever. This is a book about being ok with being single, about the good and the bad of a single status. It's empowering to feel like you're normal, not too picky, too unlovable, too crazy or 'too something' for being unwilling to settle. Sometimes it's not your fault, sometimes it's just how life works. And that's ok.
July 30, 2013
I've found the topic of singleness and dating has been coming up a lot in my life the past few weeks, so I was intrigued when this book was recommended to me. It's definitely a book that discusses the subject from a Christian viewpoint, but it's much less idealistic and pious than most other books I've read by Christian authors. Kate Hurley is real about her own experiences and opinions about dating and singleness without being ultra-religious or demeaning. I don't agree with all of her views, but it was a good experience for me to struggle with some of my own opinions on the matter.
April 8, 2014
Where has this book been the last three years?! Singleness is something I accept some days and loathe others. This book addresses issues nobody wants to talk about, especially within the church. Kate Hurley is bold, vulnerable, relatable, witty, and entertaining; everything an author should be when writing a book like this. This book is unique, insightful, and refreshing. It has changed me and challenged me in several areas of my life. I'm sure I'll be rereading it soon. A definite must read for single women in the church.
January 27, 2016
If you are weary of those singles' books filled with glib mate-snagging advice or books that urge you to embrace the "gift of singleness," this book is for you. Kate is that witty, hospitable friend who invites you to peek into her life. You will find her to be good company, and you'll find this book to be a refreshing reminder that you are not alone in your journey. She offers insights into Scripture, thought-provoking questions, relatable stories, and most of all, her friendship on the pages of this book. Highly recommended.
November 13, 2013
Quick read on my day off because it sounded more interesting than the book I am prepping to teach. Funny, but doesn't re-invent the wheel. I did like the rant chapter, though. It gives me hope that someday I can write a whole ranting book and it might maybe get published.
A slightly snarky survivor of the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" Christian dating advice of the 90s, Kate Hurley gives her anecdotal wisdom about singleness as a Christian woman in her mid-thirties.
A slightly snarky survivor of the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" Christian dating advice of the 90s, Kate Hurley gives her anecdotal wisdom about singleness as a Christian woman in her mid-thirties.
August 28, 2015
(Thanks to Netgalley for the advance copy!)
Ms. Hurley has written a disarmingly honest, candid look at how she experiences extended singleness. We've experienced singlehood fairly differently, but while I didn't personally relate to much of the book (being fairly resolutely single), I daresay many Christian singles will. She provides encouragement without false hope and empty platitudes, and never fails to point back to the ultimate source of meaning - Jesus.
Ms. Hurley has written a disarmingly honest, candid look at how she experiences extended singleness. We've experienced singlehood fairly differently, but while I didn't personally relate to much of the book (being fairly resolutely single), I daresay many Christian singles will. She provides encouragement without false hope and empty platitudes, and never fails to point back to the ultimate source of meaning - Jesus.
May 29, 2013
I liked this one! I wasn't sure what I'd think, as I have read the author's blog from the begging, so didn't know if there would be a lot of new information in the book. But it was great, and it really made me sit down and think about life as a single Christian over 30 as I've not really done before. I recommend it!
April 17, 2014
Would have been 3.5 stars if that were a possibility - I enjoyed the author's vulnerability and openness. And also because each time she approached the precipice of cliché or soppiness she'd reign herself in and pull it back, which resembles pretty closely how I like to chat about things with people too. This is a funny and somewhat insightful book that I'd recommend to all.
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