** JOSIE'S 4.5 STAR REVIEW **
What can I say about this book, let me start by saying it was nothing at all what I thought it was going to be. I loved every bit of it and could not put it down. The author did an amazing job with this book, I was completely invested.
Audrey has problems with intimacy. At the start of the book Audrey is attempting to have sex with her boyfriend Dylan and as usual it ends in disaster. She is convinced that she is broken so her friend Reece convinces her to seek professional help. The relationship between Audrey and her friend Reece is so funny, natural and refreshing. I laughed so much throughout the book with their interactions.
“It’s not your fault. I’m the one that’s broken.”
“You are not broken.”
“I am broken. Just ask Dylan. He tried to; well we tried, really tied. It hurt so badly; and God, it was embarrassing. My vagina is broken. She has to use the smallest speculum, but she was able to get inside. My vagina isn’t completely broken. It just won’t accept a dick. Maybe I’m allergic to c***.”
Audrey’s issues are not the cause of past sexual abuse or any traumatic experience. There is really nothing wrong with her except for anxiety. Audrey has a case of acute anxiety and the thought of actual penetration cause her to panic. Her doctor suggests she meet with a behavioral specialist. Dr. Markson runs a study dealing with the exposure to anxiety and fears. With the help of graduate student Graham Reece, Dr. Markson will expose Audrey to exposure therapy, gradually exposing her to more intimate forms of sexual contact helping to ease her anxiety. Audrey and Graham will discover and push her borders allowing her to get comfortable with the thought of penetration.
“We’re going to beat this anxiety, Audrey. I promise you.”
“You can’t promise that. It’s my problem not yours. Trust me; you’re going to get tired of how long this takes. Every other guy does.”
“Fair enough. What I can promise you is that I will always take care of you. I will be gentle and kind. I will follow your lead and remain patient until we figure this out.”
Graham is experienced in sexual relationships, is confident and knows what he is doing. Of course it helps that he is dropped dead gorgeous and screams sex. The experiment happens gradually over a period of time, it is not rushed. Each session focuses on introducing Audrey to another body part. Graham is great, he can tell what Audrey is experiencing, her pleasure, her discomforts or when she is shutting down. With that and over time, he and Audrey establish trust and confidence. What starts as an experiment gradually leads to more.
“You deserve to be treated like a goddess, Audrey. Doted on and pleasured. Your first time should be so much more than gritting your teeth and bearing the pain.”
“I always knew it would be worth it. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I wanted to take the sadness away, to make you whole.”
“You’re so f****** sexy, you don’t even know it. You have no clue. Everything you do, the little things, the shy things, men will lineup to have a chance with you. This is one place on your body I haven’t taste, Audrey, can I?”
“Yes”
“That’s my girls, I can smell you and it’s driving me insane.”
“Yes, I have never been more certain of anything in my life. I want to feel you in side, harder this time.”
The author tells the story in dual POV’s which I love because we get into both characters heads. We are able to feel Audrey’s concerns and uncertainties with Graham and her how she slowly is able to open up intimately. We are also awarded with Graham’s gradual feelings regarding Audrey and also with the secret he is hiding from her. Things cannot and do not stay professional especially with these two attractive and highly sexual people. They start to see each other out of the office.
"What does that mean? Everyting I did was in your hands. You and Dr. Markson, I trust you both.”
“I asked you to give it up because I’m falling apart inside thinking about you with someone else. I don’t want anyone else’s hands to touch you. I don’t want anyone else inside you. You were mine for all those weeks, only mine; and I’m not willing to let that go.”
Exposing Audrey has angst, drama, laughable moments, betrayal and OH-H***-No-THAT-DID-NOT-HAPPEN moments. I loved it, could not stop reading it. I swear to God, I felt the angst and frustration. I wanted them to get it on already (talk about sexual frustration). Graham was refreshing. He was patient, understanding and caring towards Audrey and he always thought about her needs. Even after their sessions Audrey was on his mind. Although he knew this was to help Audrey, he was affected by their sessions as well. OMG the build up to FINAL DEED had me really hot. It was not dirty, it was sensual, romantic, special and so worth the wait. Audrey’s thoughts to herself were hysterical, I swear I laughed so much, she is a riot.
“Of course it is. What’s worse than having a broken vagina? Being crazy, that’s what.”
“You know that term cock block? That’s what happened. My vagina clocked his c*** and the little bit he put in hurt like h***.”