Cammy Sitting Shiva

by Cary Gitter

This stirring debut novel is an unflinching, darkly funny look at loss, family, and coming home—perfect for fans of This Is Where I Leave You and Competitive Grieving.

When Cy Adler dies, it’s a shock to everyone, especially his daughter, Cammy. Almost thirty, slightly aimless, and stuck in a basement apartment in Queens, she’s forced to return to River Hill, her one-square-mile New Jersey hometown, to sit shiva. Cammy’s fraught relationship with her mother, Beth, has never been easy. And now, with her beloved father gone, she would rather be anywhere but back in her childhood room, in a house filled with guests noshing on snacks and offering their condolences. So Cammy does whatever she can to make it through seven turbulent days of mourning.

Amid getting stoned, reconnecting with her best friend and her high school crush, evading the rabbi, and spending a debauched night in Atlantic City, Cammy must reckon with her roots—with the place she fled for the glamour of New York, where she thought she belonged. But is she really any better off than those she left behind? While navigating the swirl of emotions that accompany grief, Cammy also uncovers hidden truths about her father, which lead her to doubt how well she knew the man she adored. Then again, does she even know herself?

Fueled by wry, lively prose, Cammy Sitting Shiva is a deeply relatable fish-out-of-water story, grappling with how it feels to be adrift and to find that a hard trip home may be what it takes to anchor you.

Genres: Fiction, Jewish, Contemporary, Audiobook, Humor, Adult, Literary Fiction

288 pages, Paperback

First published August 26, 2025

About the author

Cary Gitter is the author of the plays "The Steel Man," "Gene & Gilda," and "The Sabbath Girl," among others, and the co-creator of the musicals "The Sabbath Girl" and "How My Grandparents Fell in Love." His work has appeared off-Broadway and at theaters around the country, and he is the playwright-in-residence at Penguin Rep Theatre in Stony Point, New York. He grew up in New Jersey and now lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, with his wife, Meghan, and their two dogs, Roo and Puck. "Cammy Sitting Shiva" is his first novel.

Reviews

[Denise Ruttan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a difficult book to rate because it felt so much like autofiction, a very personal story for the author drawn from his own life and gender-swapped, but ultimately I found this intimate portrayal of the ugly ramifications of grief tender and heartfelt.

It probably should be renamed Cammy (not) Sitting Shiva because Cammy, the main character, does everything in her power to avoid sitting shiva with her mother after her dear father dies suddenly. An atheist who never found comfort in the religious traditions that rooted her mother, she finds the thought of the Jewish communal ritual of seven days of mourning to be impossibly suffocating. She's sure her father would agree, since they used to sit in the back of the temple snickering at the rabbi's sermons.

Cammy, presumably 30 (I think) then decides to indulge in a second youth as she returns home to Bergen County, New Jersey after her exciting if arrested life in New York City, where she temped copywriting gigs and joined a drama collective but didn't have any plays to show for it. She frequently acts 16, reacting in increasingly immature and reckless ways to avoid mourning her father, her best friend who took her to Broadway plays and museums. I frequently didn't like her and at times even hated her but I always understood her motivations and that kept me compulsively reading. Everyone reacts differently to grief, and it is not always polite or respectable.

I also loved the author's writing style, which was darkly comic in a Seinfeld sort of way with a dry wit and humor. I would have focused a lot more on my hate for Cammy if not for moments in which the author broke the fourth wall, like when she writes a grief play and her pages are slammed by the drama collective and she has a quip about how can your own life be unlikable. I frequently smiled and found myself rooting for Cammy to become less shallow, grow up and get a clue. This takes a lot of skill to do as a writer.

I also loved her complicated love for her family and how that really glowed from the page, the way her parents balanced each other out and the impact her dad had on everyone he met.

A lovely tribute to a man who sounded like a real stand-up guy and someone whom I would liked to have known, wrapped up in a new adult coming of age journey.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Claire B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Giving this book five stars, rounded up from 4.5 (even 4.75)

WOW. This is *the* new quintessential read for any twenty-something’s — especially but not only the Jewish ones! — drifting through life, uncertain of the path forward or experiencing grief or complex parental relationships. Certainly not a light beach read, yet I devoured it in under 24 hours, on my honeymoon no less. Chock full of love and tenderness with a totally engrossing plot.

The thing I struggled most with reading the book is the book’s depiction of Judaism and rabbis. On the one hand, YES, it perfectly captured the complex feelings (and apathy!) so many liberal Jews feel toward their religious heritage. I loved that. I also loved the push it gave me, as a budding twenty-something rabbi, to build something better than the fictional Rabbi Wiener. On the other hand, though, I find it sad to think about this book possibly reinforcing stereotypes about Judaism.

Overall, this was an almost-perfect book for me, and I am so grateful to NetGalley and Alcove Press for providing me with this ARC in exchange for an honest review. And that review can be summed up by: I will be forcing all my friends to read this the second it comes out!

[Amanda Marie]

I honestly don’t know how to rate this. It sort of gave me secondhand anxiety in some ways. It felt like when I was a kid and loved the movie Dude, Where’s My Car? but it was also stressful because you’re just watching two people make the worst decisions and this felt that way. I also love a book that deals with grief but this felt odd to me. There’s a lot of “this is what the grief is making me do” but not much of the feelings behind that. There’s a chance I’ve been reading too many heavy books lately though. I didn’t know much about Shiva going into this book and I feel like I learned a bit, which is nice.

Strong concept, not totally sure how I feel about the execution.

[The One Where Aimee Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

I compulsively read Cammy Sitting Shiva. The novel is funny, often darkly so, as you follow along the titular character's journey of finding her way through grief after suffering the loss of her father. For such a serious topic, the novel never feels too heavy. It moved me to tears, of course, but I also laughed a lot. I think it's so wonderfully Jewish to utilize humor in this way. Cammy is a bit of a mess, understandably, given the circumstances. And though she makes quite a few destructive choices, it made me root for her all the more.

Cammy Sitting Shiva will be out 8/26. Thank you to Alcove Press and NetGalley for the ARC.

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really didn’t love reading about this woman unraveling. I totally understand grief is experienced differently by everyone but she really acted like a selfish, inconsiderate, brat. I guess that’s what the book was written to be and her slow recovery back to what is conventionally acceptable. While I understand her selfishness and need to grieve in her own way, the way she affected her mother and her mother’s Rabbi was really disrespectful. I also don’t love a male author writing a female character, especially when it comes to so much emotion and familial interactions.

[Michelle Entebi · Rating 1 out of 5]

dnf at 55%

I'm seeing great early reviews so maybe it's a me-issue but I hated cammy (the main character) and everything she did or thought about.

I know this is a very grief packed book and everybody treats grief differently but I just couldnt keep reading about her awful behavior and her inner monologue.

it was a no from me.

thank you net galley either way for the arc!

[Leah M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Alcove Press for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I was so prepared to love this debut novel. For me, there was a lot of identification with the premise of the story, and I love the idea of centering sitting shiva, a Jewish mourning ritual, as the main setting for the story. After a loved one dies, the family members sit shiva, but the customs are different depending on the tradition that you align with, whether it is orthodox or reform. Shiva comes from the Hebrew word for 7, and is done in the first 7 days after burial. Mourning family members are supposed to sit on low seats, keep mirrors covered, not cook or clean, and engage in prayers. Other requirements are to wear a shirt that has been torn to symbolize tearing your clothing in grief. Family and friends come to the house to mourn together, remember the loved one, and process their grief. After the first week, there are other rituals, some of which are done within the first 30 days after death, and still more within the first year. Also immediate family is supposed to keep a candle burning at all times in the first month after someone dies.

Having lost my father in 2019 after a long struggle with cancer, shiva was held at our house. I was prepared to further identify with Cammy and see her own grief process, as well as potentially having my own grief kicked up. As reform Jews, the customs are a little different from the ones that I’ve practiced, but at heart it is the same—providing space for loved ones to process a loss and grieve while being supported by family, friends, and other congregation members. Unfortunately, I struggled more with Cammy than her loss that mirrored my own.

Cammy is nearly 30, and living in Queens while she works temp jobs in Manhattan. When her father suddenly passes away, Cammy isn’t prepared for the loss, but she’s also unprepared for the emotions that come up when she goes home. Like me, Cammy really got along well with her father, and their relationship was a great one, with a lot of shared interests. Her bond with her mother is much more strained, making it unbearable to have to spend a week in her parents house in North Jersey with just her mother, and a bunch of people coming through the house each day.

Cy, Cammy’s father, served as a buffer between his wife, Beth, and his daughter. He was able to defuse the tension, and make it easier to spend time together. Without his calm, funny presence, Cammy feels incredibly lost and unable to broach the distance between herself and her mother. In addition, as anyone who moves away from home and comes back for a visit knows, it can change your perspective and make you reevaluate your choices.

When Cammy returns home, she receives an email from her high school English teacher, following up on her favorite student. She sees familiar sights in her small town, and many of the same people she’s known her entire life, because things move differently in small town New Jersey than they do in NYC. Reflecting on her adult life, she isn’t very satisfied with her progress. She’s wanted to be a writer for her entire life, yet hasn’t been able to complete a work.

My biggest issue with the book was Cammy herself. She isn’t a very likable character, putting her own desires ahead of the needs of her loved ones. Although everyone has a different trajectory in life, I can just open Facebook to see how dissimilar my life is from the people I went to high school with—some are dead, some have health issues, some moved away and are living their best life. A long time ago, someone told me not to compare my insides to someone else’s outside, and that is never clearer than on social media: the people I follow post all the highlights of their life, and rarely share their struggles. Cammy could really have used that advice. It wasn’t until almost 80% of the book that Cammy shows enough change that I started to like her. Until then, she’s selfish, rude, and negative to everyone in her life.

Granted, coming home at nearly 30, only having a string of temp jobs, torpedoing a great relationship, and not having even one finished work can be a huge letdown. I can see how she feels as though she hasn’t made any moves that will further her future. Her best friend Fran runs an Italian deli, and has dreams of opening a restaurant. Even the losers in town don’t seem so bad, and Cammy proceeds to not only measure her insides to the outsides of others, she judges the people around her, and not always just in her head.

Whenever I’ve sat shiva, the visiting mourners help out around the house—providing food to immediate family, straightening up, sharing the best and funniest memories of the deceased, and ensuring that support and comfort is available. I found a lot of solace in all the people coming by, and creating a more joyful shiva. We cried plenty, but we also laughed a lot. Cammy seems to have her own struggle with social anxiety—instead of seeing comfort and love from the guests, she views a house full of people as a nuisance and insurmountable obstacle. So she finds a way to avoid it: she leaves the house. The first 3 days of shiva show readers how selfish Cammy is when she abandons her mother and goes out instead of being at her father’s shiva.

While reading, I kept getting frustrated and angry at Cammy for acting so irrationally and being mean to literally everyone who cares about her. One of my favorite things in a book is seeing the character grow and become a better, stronger person. And while it does eventually happen, it took so, so long for her to even show the first twinge of change. Even her thoughts were twisted up.

Overall, this was a pretty good read if you can handle Cammy at her worst. I can’t help but think that Gitter went a little too far with how unlikable Cammy is for so much of the book. I enjoyed the story, but for me this could easily have been a 4 or 5 star read with some small changes. The exploration of how people manage their grief was important, because that is so much of the story. While I knew that my father was terminal, I couldn’t imagine just losing my dad suddenly one day. I got the chance to sort of prepare myself for his death, even though no matter how much notice you have, it’s still a shock. Luckily, I didn’t burn down all my bridges during my father’s shiva like Cammy does in this book, but if she wasn’t so unlikable, her change wouldn’t be so pronounced, which I would have appreciated a bit. There is a great discussion of Jewish mourning traditions and reform Judaism, so the representation is good, and gives readers a look into mourning rituals for less observant Jews (orthodox and Haredi Jews observe all of the 613 commandments, while other groups pick and choose). I also loved the relationship between Cammy and Fran, and I could just picture Fran with a heavy Jersey accent and the blunt attitude that New Yorkers tend to have. It made it more meaningful when she says something to Cammy, since it’s clear that she is relaying her concerns and coming from a place of love. I would have liked to see Cammy shape up a little sooner in the story, but it was a good debut, and I think Gitter has a lot more to offer, so I’ll definitely be checking out her next book. Let’s just hope the MC is a bit more likable.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel is from the perspective of 29 year old Cammy, who lives in NYC but not in the life she imagined herself with her temp jobs and recent breakup. When her dad unexpectedly dies, she spends the whole week back in her small New Jersey hometown for the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva - except she avoids the shiva when at all possible while fighting with her mom, reconnecting with people from her past, and generally behaving slightly badly while trying to figure herself out.

By the end of the first few chapters I knew this book was meant for me, as I too am Jewish and grew up in Bergen County NJ - not to mention references to Daria, noodle kugel, and the concept of “breaking the seal.” That being said, I couldn’t necessarily relate to Cammy herself - not just because I’m closer in age to her mom than to her, but because I never really lived that kind of messy life - at Cammy’s age I was married, working as a lawyer, and pregnant/a new mom. But even though I couldn’t relate to her, I was rooting for her all along, even when I was shaking my head at her! And I left the book wanting to find out what happens next for her, which is a mark at how invested I got.

Plus, for a book about grief, it’s also really funny. I originally figured the publisher blurb comparing this to Jonathan Tropper’s This Is Where I Leave You and Nora Zevelansky’s Competitive Grieving were just because those were also books about dealing with death, but they are actually great comparisons in more ways. Like those books, Cammy Sitting Shiva has a real knack for combining humor and pathos with characters that are quirky but also feel real.

Thanks to the publisher for both a physical and e-ARC (out this week!); all opinions are my own.

[Tori Aguazul · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 good stuff

[Ilyse · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book but ultimately gave it 3.5 stars rounded up.

There is another review that said it best, the book should really be called Cammy [Not] Sitting Shiva. She could not want to be anywhere else. Occasionally, the characters felt like caricatures and acted in ways I personally find semi-unbelivable. But then put together and with the way the story ends, it all comes together and I felt satisfied.

The book captured the complexity of grief (and specifically Jewish grief) well.

Thank you Alcove Press and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Alcove Press for the free ARC in exchange for my honest review! I enjoyed this book since it was about grief and I recently lost someone very close to me. I really connected with Cammy's attitude and liked that the author portrayed how some people want to be alone or may act out in response to grief. There isn't a normal response to grief. I loved how the author showed that in the book. However, I didn't love the pop culture references. But with that said, this is a great book.

3.5 stars

[Cindy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t much like the main character in this book. She seemed self absorbed, self destructive,and immature for a 30 year-old woman. Yet, the death of a parent can propel someone back to childhood and all the expectations and insecurities of that time.
Cammy comes from a barely observant Jewish family: she doesn’t know the meaning behind many of the rituals, yet she and her mother are observing shiva for a full week? Two-to-three days is more the norm for Reform Jews. The occasional Yiddish or Hebrew word is defined for the reader, yet some non-Jewish characters already know and use the terminology. Why this double standard?
When I finished listening to the slow audiobook (upped to 2.5x to power through), I learned that the author is a playwright. I can imagine some scenes, and, in fact, most of this book, being more successful as a play since the emotions ran best and truest in confrontation.
Cammy is a bit sarcastic but I did not find the book amusing or funny. Occasionally poignant but nothing to laugh about.
My thanks to the author, publisher, @SpotifyAudiobooks, and #NetGalley for access to the audiobook of #CammySittingShiva for review purposes. It is currently available.

[Cherié Burgett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for the early read. -- Rounded up from 3.5 stars

While I enjoyed the book, it was difficult for me to get through due to how awful Cammy was up until right before the end. Most of the characters were well developed and likable. The author did a great job of letting us see the different sides of the supporting characters.

Much of how she acted in the book was attributed to grief over losing her father, but from everything she said, she was a nightmare before her father passed away, and he enabled the behavior. She was awful to those who loved her or cared about her, from her boyfriend, to her best friend and especially her mother and rabbi. She was even awful to the drama club! I don't know that one conversation in a cemetery can right 2-3 decades of callous treatment of other people. Who is that forgiving? I'm not sure I could be.

Her promiscuity seemed to be attributed to grief as well, but she was the same way before her father died, which led to the end of her relationship. I am not judging her promiscuity, but it was just another way that I felt a bit misled by the plot that she was dealing with trauma by acting out. It seemed she acted out as a child, her dad went along with it, and she sort of became a selfish brat to everyone. And the big secret that was revealed that she was so upset about was very odd to me. Why would she care what her dad did with his life before she existed? It was a closed chapter, not a big deal, and he had moved on. A bad former relationship is not a big family secret, and I don't know that any parent owes that information to their children.

The book was tied up nicely in the end, and that did lead to me liking Cammy's character a bit more. It was a redemption that was sorely needed. I fear many people may DNF this because Cammy is so insufferable. I do recommend this book, but Cammy is a hot mess, and not a fun one.

[Marne - Reader By the Water · Rating 5 out of 5]

⚱️For my friends who love redemptive stories that balance grief with humor.

CAMMY SITTING SHIVA by Cary Gitter (Narrated by Jesse Vilinsky)

🎧Thanks, #spotifyaudiobooks, for the review copy via #NetGalley.

The publisher called this an “unflinching, darkly funny look at loss, family, and coming home—perfect for fans of THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU and COMPETITIVE GRIEVING.” I couldn’t download it fast enough!

Cammy is stuck, barely treading water in temp jobs while “trying” to make it in the city as a screenwriter. When her dad passes suddenly, she’s forced home to sit shiva and confront how her choices and attitude are limiting her.

Despite being 29 and aimless, qualities that typically drive me bananas in a main character, I was pulling for Cammy while she worked her way through her grief, life choices, and even her battles with her mother. That’s not only due to her reflection, progress, and willingness to (eventually) admit her flaws, but also because of Cammy’s witty internal and external dialogue. I loved the pacing, the story, and the delicate balance between grief and humor that is tricky to accomplish. This may be @carygitter’s first foray into novels, but his experience writing successful screenplays shines through. I’m putting him on my #autobuyauthor list.

If you are an audiobook reader, you owe it to yourself and the story to read this novel that way. Narrator @jsvilinsky had me checking the book details, looking to see who the other actors were. It was just one person! From the backward ballcap-wearing ex-jock bartender, to Rabbi Weiner, to (my personal favorite) Italian deli-running BFF Fran, to Cammy’s sweet and funny father, her performance was impeccable, nuanced, and hilarious. It felt like a love letter to all the different Jersey accents.

And yes, the narration makes this a #FiveSpongeAudiobook, a story so compelling you’re willing to clean to keep listening!! 🧽🧽🧽🧽🧽

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cary Gitter's Cammy Sitting Shiva was absolutely phenomenal. In turns devastating, hilarious, and occasionally uncomfortable, Cammy's journey through grief was raw and real. Watching her navigate the tension between familial and communal expectations and her own needs was so relatable. Was it messy? Absolutely. Was I completely flabbergasted by some of her choices? Yes. But a lot of grace should be given to someone who is grieving, and Cammy had to learn that lesson and then extend that grace to herself.

I laughed out loud. I cried. I had to double check that my audiobook wasn't playing where the kids could hear. (You know, when she's snorting coke off a male stripper's abs?) But from start to finish, I was just impressed by the authenticity of it all. The searching for identity, the fear that you're not living up to your potential, the pressure of not wanting to disappoint the people who love you the most...all of those themes resonated deeply with me, and I just wanted to wrap Cammy up in the biggest hug.

I've never sat shiva, being Christian and now Jewish, but I've read about the practice. I loved how Gitter simultaneously honored the Jewish tradition but challenged the traditional practice of it because the Jewish experience isn't a monolith. Even within Cammy's family, her mom--a convert--was the one who regularly attended synagogue and adhered to the religious traditions, while her dad was a secular Jew, primarily attending synagogue to poke fun at the rabbi from the back row with Cammy.

Jesse Vilinsky brought Cammy to life in all her chaotic, messy glory. The narration was flawless. Bravo. 10/10. No notes.

[MicheleReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cammy Adler is struggling. At twenty-nine, her dream of becoming a writer has yet to take shape. The closest to it has been getting hired for temp jobs, copywriting for various companies. Despite living in a basement, at least she has made it to New York City, away from her childhood home in northern New Jersey. When she receives a call from her family's rabbi, she learns that her beloved father Cy has passed away. Although her relationship with her mother, Beth, is strained, she quickly returns across the Hudson River to support her as they prepare for the funeral and the seven-day mourning period - known as shiva. Being back home intensifies Cammy's feelings of failure. The last thing she wants to do is sit shiva. She'd rather smoke weed than sit at home eating kugel and brisket, talking to her annoying Aunt Miriam. Cammy reconnects with friends from her past, including her best friend Fran and Nick, her high school crush. While Cammy feels like a disappointment, her behavior during the shiva further strains her relationship with her mother.

In Cammy Sitting Shiva, Cary Gitter has written a touching and often humorous story of a young woman seeking to find herself after a profound loss. Cammy's actions during this solemn period of mourning border on the unforgivable, yet everyone grieves differently. She has hit rock bottom, and for her sake, as well as her mother's, Cammy is someone we want to see make it through this difficult period. While the book focuses on a Jewish family and its traditions, the experience of losing a loved one is universal, as is the feeling of being lost in life and feeling like you've let everyone down, especially yourself. This is a hopeful story of redemption that will make you want to call your family.

Many thanks to Alcove Press for the advance.

Review to be posted on MicheleReader.com.

[Heidi Shertok · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cammy Adler has never felt more adrift. As her thirtieth birthday nears—almost dead!—she’s not any better off now than when she was when she first moved to Queens. Not only is she still living in a crappy basement apartment and getting critiqued by the same pretentious Drama Collective, but she hasn’t made any headway in her quest to be a writer.

And then her dad dies.

Returning home to bury him and then observe the traditional Jewish custom of staying home for seven days so that everyone and their yenta mother can harass you, aka sitting shiva, Cammy is forced to interact with her mother, aka least favorite parent. The next seven days are replete with unfortunate events (which may or may not have been Cammy’s fault) as she starts to question everything she once thought was true, including her relationship with her father. It soon becomes apparent that if Cammy wants to move forward, she must first make peace with her past, and the misperceptions of the people closest to her.
Cary Gitter is a fantastic talent, his prose reminiscent of J.D. Salinger coupled with the wry wit of Sara Goodman Confino. His writing is nothing short of pure magic, and his cast of quirky, yet relatable characters will have readers laughing from the first page until the last. Gitter’s path toward stardom is clearly set, and I eagerly await to read his next novel!

[Erica · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounded up for Jesse Vilinsky’s narration.

First off, the title is a bit of a misnomer. I don’t think Cammy ever actually sits shiva.

I love books that tackle grief, feature flawed female MCs, and are set in Jersey. This one delivered on all three. Following the MC’s pain and acting out after her father’s death was both compelling and, at times, darkly funny. The story isn’t sappy or relentlessly bleak; it’s told with plenty of wry, sardonic humor. Gitter also deserves credit for writing a female character who feels like an actual person. A low bar for male authors, maybe, but still worth noting. And of course, Jersey.

Where it fell short for me was the writing style. Gitter is clearly talented, but the prose felt a little formal and dense. I usually prefer writing that fades into the background so I can lose myself in the story, rather than becoming the focal point.

Jesse Vilinsky is wonderful, as always.

Thank you to NetGalley and Spotify Audiobooks for the ALC.

[Rebecca]

Source of book: NG

Cammy Sitting Shiva is an enjoyable summer read about 29-year old Cammy who is floundering in her NYC life and heads back home to Bergen County, NJ for her father’s shiva. Right off the bat, this book is filled with millennial Jewish humor. In particular, the author’s description of Cammy’s mother was rather humorous and relatable.

I am also a sucker for the work within a work trope. I did find that the main character had verisimilitude as well as unlikable behavior, and that her autobiographical play in the book captured her audience’s reaction which was mirroring my reaction to reading about her. I did find the main character’s irreverence towards religion humorous, though. I also enjoyed the main character’s Redemption Tour at the end of the book, which felt as authentic as her behavior in the beginning of the book. I look forward to future books from this author!

[Cheryl Sokoloff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Note: I had this on my list, but it got prioritized because the narrator of the audiobook, Jessie Vilinsky recently posted her nomination for: “outstanding audiobook narration”, for this book by The Society of Voice Arts.

This is the story of 29 yo Cammy, Adler, who is struggling in life ( her writing career has gone nowhere & she’s living in a basement). Her larger than life dad, Sy Adler, unexpectedly dies from a routine, low risk, surgery. She has to leave NYC, and return to her small hometown (Hoboken) New Jersey, to sit shiva. Just her and her mom Beth, Rabbi Wiener (❤️), and ALL her old cronies!

The audiobook is great - so realistic- and so many great characters. On top of that, there is a lot of humor , I definitely enjoyed every minute of listening to this book AND I loved the story! Congratulations to Cary Gitter on a fantastic debut novel. Said about

As Gitter said in an interview (about his dad and the book): “May his memory be a book!”

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Cindy Stein · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cammy is a 29 year old aspiring writer living in NYC who is drifting from temp assignment to temp assignment. One night at a party, she gets a call from her family's rabbi informing her that her father has unexpectantly passed away. She returns to her hometown in Northern NJ for the funeral and 7-day shiva, but she's unwilling to participate in the rituals after the burial and ends up acting out in a series of incidents.

Cammy's grieving process and ultimate redemption are the subjects of this well written novel. Having been close with her father and combative with her mother, she feels a profound loss but is unable to deal with it. While Jewish grieving rituals are designed to help the bereaved, they don't work for everyone. The book does a good job of showing this as well as the life lessons that Cammy learns along the way.

I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley.

[Jackie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars - With the promos comparing this to This is Where I Leave you I expected more of a big messy family being stuck together, which this wasn’t. It was a singular gal with 75% of the book being her in a deep spiral after losing her father unexpectantly - losing it on her mom, refusing to sit shiva, hooking up with random people, smoking weed, getting arrested and ending with doing coke off a stripper in Atlantic City and cursing out her best friend? Ooh boy, Cammy you need therapy, girl.

I think this would have felt different to me if she was 22– I had a hard time with her being almost 30. But also maybe that’s just me? It does make sense with the prolonged adolescence stage. All that being said, I loved the ending and seeing a little bit of her redemption arc. Also realizing it was likely autobiographical allays some of my issues.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Cammy's life is already a bit of a mess but when her beloved father dies suddenly and unexpectedly, she spirals out of control. I felt bad for her but she was so unlikeable and her behavior during the 7 days of shivah was so out of control - getting drunk and high, engaging in casual sex, recklessly gambling in Atlantic City, and being horrible to her mother and her best friend. She was so incredibly selfish and very immature (she seemed more like a 19 year old than a 29 year old). Her disdain for Judaism and Jewish rituals and the overt disrepect for her family's rabbi was borderline offensive. It was hard to stay sympathetic but I was compelled to finish the book to see if Cammy could redeem herself. Due out on 8/26/25, I received an eARC from Edelweiss.

[Macy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A smart, honest book that tackles and questions love, loss, flawed people (and really, who amongst us isn’t flawed in some way?), relationships, feeling stuck in your life, friends old and new, wondering if you’re on the right path, whether any of the choices you have made were and are right, judging yourself and all those you left behind, discovering things that rock you to your very core all while being back in your childhood bedroom mourning the loss of your beloved father. Her dad was the parent she felt most connected to. What happens now? Her week is filled with self reflection, finding answers to so many questions and figuring out what is next for her. A well thought out story.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley.com in exchange for a fair and honest review.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a sweet and fun book! This is a slice of life family drama with a small romance arc. It was very well written and I can’t wait to hear more from this author! I LOVE the Jewish representation without focusing on oppression and trauma. I want to read about peoples whole lives, not just their trauma. The exploration of complicated grief was very relatable and well done. The writing is witty and easy to read without slacking on the depth of the characters or their relationships. TmThe romance arc was done so well and was realistic as well. No notes. I highly recommend this one!

Thanks to NetGalley and Spotify Media for this ARC. THANK YOU for the everyday Jewish representation! Keep it up!

[Sharyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook and it was well narrated. However, as I was listening before and during Rosh Hoshanna it was a difficult read. I disliked Cammy through most of the book, and some of the scenes ( 24 excruciating hours in Atlantic City) I probably would have skimmed if I were reading. I understand that she was grief stricken, but the point of sitting Shiva is to be comforted and share your grief. To share stories, and look back on a life. But Cammy, in her self centered grief abandoned her grieving mother, and other relatives, so that just bothered me. Her treatment of the Rabbi was also rude.
Cammy continually made bad choices, and had no self understanding. It wasn't until perhaps the last 20% of the book that she gained some self reflection and I had hope for her.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! I found Cammy extremely relatable, her path of self destruction after losing her Father unexpectedly is a reality I know too well. I genuinely laughed out loud (shout out to Rabbi Wiener) & empathized with Cammy’s sadness & feeling of losing control (if she ever even had any) of her life. I’m not Jewish, so I learned a lot about the rituals & I found them to be very interesting. I could see how they’d be very soothing in a time of great loss. All in all, I think if you’re looking for a real, sometimes deep & sometimes make you belly laugh book - this is the one for you!

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reminiscent of Shiva Baby, Cammy Sitting Shiva is an exploration of grief and self-discovery. The action unfolds over the course of seven days as Cammy comes face to face with the death of her father and the potential she feels she has lost. Oddly relatable in her eccentricities, Cammy is super lovable. She’s a mess - but she’s human and she’s grieving.

There is so much to say about Cammy Sitting Shiva. It is oddly claustrophobic and surprisingly meta as it becomes evident that it is inspired by the author’s own experiences. It’s comedic, it’s tense, and it’s hopeful.

Thank you to Alcove Press for the e-ARC!

[Sharondblk · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a bit meta-fiction (or auto fiction?) Our main character Cammy is sitting shiva for her father and having relationship issues with her mother. Meanwhile she starts writing a play about Cameron, a gender switched version of what is happening to her. Our author Cary might be doing the same thing. Putting all that aside this is a novel about growing up and acting out, about finding out what matters and what's important. I listened to the audiobook and the narrator did an awesome job of reading this New Jersey story. It was compelling, heartbreaking and often funny.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the free audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moving story of grief and loss and trying to figure out your life in your early 20s. When Cammy's father dies suddenly, she's forced to return to her New Jersey home and reconcile with her mother. Their relationship is a contentious one and while she's home, Cammy also reunites with some high school friends and first crushes. This was full of emotional depth and gave me strong Garden State vibes. It was also great on audio narrated by Jesse Vilinsky (one of my favs) and I enjoyed it a lot. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio and digital copy in exchange for my honest review.

CW: IBS rep, sudden loss of a parent