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397 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2014
Yes, these are the thoughts that occupy my brain on a daily basis: How many steps to take. How many hairbrush strokes. Making sure I line up my proofreading pens just so. Making sure my make-up is just so. Sitting in my fucking desk chair just so.
“You’re not supposed to take my pens!” I shouted. He came at me, slamming me up against the door, and kissing me hard. “God, you’re so fucking hot,” he said into my mouth. Well, this was confusing. “You and your fucking pens and the tapping and... oh my God...”
I like to discover those discarded treasures, adopt them, bring them home, and clean them up. I think I relate to them in a way. No one wants me, so I understand how they feel. I mean, just because we’re quirky doesn’t mean we lack value.
“I never had a permanent home. I was moved around a lot as a kid, and I learned quickly not to get attached to things because they were often taken away.”
“Beboppin’ Bailey. Better Than All the Rest Bailey. Best Decision I Ever Made Bailey. Bet on That Girl Bailey. Beat the Odds Bailey... Bait Me with a Kiss Bailey... Because I Love Her Bailey.”
“I’m adopting you.”
“I knew life moments happened that way. They made no sense, and I didn’t think we were supposed to make them. I think we were just supposed to experience them, grow from them, and hopefully come out the other side as better people. Life is nothing but juxtaposing the good with the bad. We have to learn how to handle both—how to cope with the frightening events and embrace the joyous ones.”
I needed clearly defined lines.
I wasn’t the type of girl who could
operate without them. ….
The most important?
I’m OCD.
The second more important?
I’m thirty-one.
“I’m in love with a coworker,” Reece confessed…
“Not wise,” Camden replied, and chugged his beer.
“And I’m pretty sure she’s OCD,” Reece went on.
Camden stared at his friend. “Dude. No.”
“I find it uncomfortably sexy,” Reece admitted.
“That you like a coworker or that she’s OCD?”
“The second one. There’s something strangely erotic about it. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“You’ll run away,” I said softly.
“I’m a man. I don’t run,” Reece replied.
I smiled. “It’s made all the others run away.”
“Because they weren’t men.”
“Bailey . . .” he said. Like I’m some fucking kid. Like, “Bailey, I’m warning you.”
I fucking tapped that fucking pen all over my fucking desk.
He snatched it.
“What the fuck!” I yelled.
And then he scooped up all my pens and walked off.
“Motherfucker,” I spat, and went after him.
He glanced behind his shoulder and saw me coming. He quickened his pace. I marched right along, ready to catch up to him and give him an earful about the proper way to cope with my urges. He rounded the corner and disappeared into the copy room. I burst in and let fly.
“You’re not supposed to take my pens!” I shouted.
He came at me, slamming me up against the door, and kissing me hard.
“God, you’re so fucking hot,” he said into my mouth.
Well, this was confusing.
“You and your fucking pens and the tapping and . . . oh my God . . .”
“I know I’m not the easiest person to love . . .”
“Are you kidding me ?” Reece hopped up from the desk and took hold of Bailey’s shoulders. “You’re too easy to love. That’s your real problem. You know how I know that? Because I can’t stay away from you. I just wanna be with you all the time. You’re my favorite person, Bailey. That’s not hard. That’s a cakewalk.”
“I want to love you for the rest of my life. Will you let me?”
All that time I thought I was the one on display — open and vulnerable to my boyfriend. In reality, he was baring himself just as honestly to me, hoping I would accept the love he was so desperate to give.
And I did.
“Bailey. I’m gonna make you live a little.”
“Hey! Now wait just a minute, buster! I do live. I recall being the surfer in this relationship. Not you.”
“Oh my God ,” Reece replied, his face lighting up. “That’s perfect! Let’s fuck on your surfboard!”
I stared at him.
“Seriously. Let’s just—” He thrust his hips forward a few times. “— just fucking go at it on your surfboard.”
“Oh my God,” I mumbled.
“What? It’s totally hot.”