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Not Another 80s Horror Novel
Ruby King believed that the move would be a good thing. She thought the quiet mountain town would be the perfect place to live with her husband, her children, and her absolutely massive knockers. But that was before she learned about the abandoned church in the woods... and before the evil super computer whirled to devilish life... and before she heard the sexual assault creatures prowling the night. Ruby knows better now. This is not a safe place. This is not a happy place. This is...
NOT ANOTHER 80s HORROR NOVEL!
NOT ANOTHER 80s HORROR NOVEL!
284 pages, Paperback
Published October 21, 2024
17 people are currently reading
320 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 92 reviews
February 13, 2025
Sean has created an 80s love letter of horror humour with this story; combining the best of the era while also giving some subtle winks to the corniness of the times as well.
Like the title declares, it’s like nothing you’ve read before… you want robots? Sean gives you more!
You want monster dongs? Sean gives you multiple!
You want occult happenings? Sean goes balls to the wall and dips this book in the blood of 1000 virgins at your request. Well maybe not that last one, but close enough.
Just know that this story is a funfest of nostalgia, guts, and glory. I 100% recommend you give it a read.
"Honest farmers, men of the earth! Wrap me in your strength like a chambray work shirt!"
Like the title declares, it’s like nothing you’ve read before… you want robots? Sean gives you more!
You want monster dongs? Sean gives you multiple!
You want occult happenings? Sean goes balls to the wall and dips this book in the blood of 1000 virgins at your request. Well maybe not that last one, but close enough.
Just know that this story is a funfest of nostalgia, guts, and glory. I 100% recommend you give it a read.
"Honest farmers, men of the earth! Wrap me in your strength like a chambray work shirt!"
November 6, 2024
Buckle up, Trash Pigeons, because our Trash Master fed us well with this one.
Ruby King is living the 80s dream. An absent husband, rebellious daughter, and dweeb of a son—what more could she ask for? When her dorky son comes home acting totally weird, she begins to feel the inklings of fear in her totally stacked chest. With the help of a hot cop with a checkered past™ and a totally not cool professor, she must save her family from not one, not two, but three catastrophes before her 80's dream turns into an 80's nightmare.
On the surface level of this book, you get a really funny parody of the 80's paperbacks we've all come to love via Sean's posts in the Books of Horror Facebook group. But dig a little deeper, past all the cringey cliches, predictable tropes, totally stacked babes, and so many metaphors to describe the totally stacked babes, and you actually get a really fun book with a cohesive storyline, great action, and gross out gore. I found myself laughing out loud at parts, cringing in disgust at others, and then laughing out loud again. This read like a fever dream, and I loved every second of it. This book gets a solid five stacked fucken chests from me, and I highly recommend reading this as soon as possible.
Ruby King is living the 80s dream. An absent husband, rebellious daughter, and dweeb of a son—what more could she ask for? When her dorky son comes home acting totally weird, she begins to feel the inklings of fear in her totally stacked chest. With the help of a hot cop with a checkered past™ and a totally not cool professor, she must save her family from not one, not two, but three catastrophes before her 80's dream turns into an 80's nightmare.
On the surface level of this book, you get a really funny parody of the 80's paperbacks we've all come to love via Sean's posts in the Books of Horror Facebook group. But dig a little deeper, past all the cringey cliches, predictable tropes, totally stacked babes, and so many metaphors to describe the totally stacked babes, and you actually get a really fun book with a cohesive storyline, great action, and gross out gore. I found myself laughing out loud at parts, cringing in disgust at others, and then laughing out loud again. This read like a fever dream, and I loved every second of it. This book gets a solid five stacked fucken chests from me, and I highly recommend reading this as soon as possible.
October 28, 2024
Once in a while a book comes around that you never knew you needed til it materializes. Having been a season pass holder to the MasterTrash Theater and a proud student to the official Trash Pigeon feeder himself, I was beyond excited for this book to drop. If anyone knows the best and the worst of vintage horror, it’s Sean & believe me when I tell you he crammed an incredible amount of those flavors into this insane parade of tomfoolery & gross absurdity.
Quick Synopsis:
A well stacked matriarch moves to Mount Rape Monster. A sinister supercomputer of the future shows up at a local irreplaceable tech store. Then a rambunctious young tyke stumbles upon an accursed church and develops quite the distinguished vocabulary. Alot going on, where so many instances could go horribly wrong. Spoiler alert: they do! And thats before we even get to the mountainous namesake’s fulfilled prophecy by well-endowed creatures that threaten to terrorize the insides of all the townspeople!
How could one masterfully squeeze copious amounts of references, tropes, cursed dialogue, with repugnant imagery and clever tongue-in-cheek comedy into one book? Hell if I know, that’s a pretty tall order to deliver yet somehow Sean 👏🏽 did 👏🏽 that. Who were we to ever doubt him? Considering he’s an vintage horror expert, I wouldn’t expect anything less. He was somehow able to grab the best parts of what us vintage horror lovers enjoy the most and whip it into a whirlwind of foolishness that encapsulates the genre perfectly. Highly recommend this one whether you like vintage horror or not, especially if you like snorting at the best/worst lines you may ever read.
Quick Synopsis:
A well stacked matriarch moves to Mount Rape Monster. A sinister supercomputer of the future shows up at a local irreplaceable tech store. Then a rambunctious young tyke stumbles upon an accursed church and develops quite the distinguished vocabulary. Alot going on, where so many instances could go horribly wrong. Spoiler alert: they do! And thats before we even get to the mountainous namesake’s fulfilled prophecy by well-endowed creatures that threaten to terrorize the insides of all the townspeople!
How could one masterfully squeeze copious amounts of references, tropes, cursed dialogue, with repugnant imagery and clever tongue-in-cheek comedy into one book? Hell if I know, that’s a pretty tall order to deliver yet somehow Sean 👏🏽 did 👏🏽 that. Who were we to ever doubt him? Considering he’s an vintage horror expert, I wouldn’t expect anything less. He was somehow able to grab the best parts of what us vintage horror lovers enjoy the most and whip it into a whirlwind of foolishness that encapsulates the genre perfectly. Highly recommend this one whether you like vintage horror or not, especially if you like snorting at the best/worst lines you may ever read.
May 27, 2025
If you like the Scary Movie franchise, or the National Lampoon's books: Doon or Bored of the Rings, this is right up your alley. Sean McDonough perfectly captures the vibes and essence with sexist, cheesy, sexy, predictable troupes in horror books/movies of the 80s/90s. This story has no shame in making fun of itself. He then adds his own slapstick jokes on top. This was the perfect spoof of a paperbacks from hell that I didn't know I needed.
This book had me laughing through to the end. My NY millennial brain needed this!!
A Must Read +
This book had me laughing through to the end. My NY millennial brain needed this!!
A Must Read +
January 5, 2025
This was everything I wanted it to be - cheesy 80s descriptions, references, and allusions of every type. I literally laughed out loud repeatedly, and even shared passages with my boyfriend - which I never do. Absolutely loved it!
March 14, 2025
Get ready to be transported back to a simpler time without cell phones or social media. Before selfies or gender reveal parties. To a world without Doritos Cheesy Gordita Crunch (gasp). But you know what they did have in the 80s? Blood, Boobs, Terror, Titties, Monsters, and Mammaries. I could go on but I think you get the idea. You’ll find all of that and more in Not Another 80s Horror Novel by Sean McDonough.
This book features multiple seemingly unrelated plotlines that weave together expertly for a blood-soaked battle royale finale. I had to pause and laugh a few times at the hilarious metaphors, witty puns and ridiculous similes. I don’t even know how he comes up with half of this shit. So if you’re looking for a few chuckles along with a dose of classic horror, look no further.
This book features multiple seemingly unrelated plotlines that weave together expertly for a blood-soaked battle royale finale. I had to pause and laugh a few times at the hilarious metaphors, witty puns and ridiculous similes. I don’t even know how he comes up with half of this shit. So if you’re looking for a few chuckles along with a dose of classic horror, look no further.
April 28, 2025
Do not go into this seriously
I can't tell if this was one of the worst or one of the best books I've ever read. It's like the author put every horrible scene/line/plot from the 80s on a board, got drunk, and let the darts fly to determine what he was adding next.
I can't tell if this was one of the worst or one of the best books I've ever read. It's like the author put every horrible scene/line/plot from the 80s on a board, got drunk, and let the darts fly to determine what he was adding next.
October 21, 2024
If I could give this book 100 stars I would.
I sat down and had this finished in hours, but I was crying laughing the whole time.
Every little 80s nod or dig to the chessiest lines ever written.
It was just the best of every 80s horror novel, so the title is right it's NOT just ANOTHER 80s horror novel, it's the best of every single one of them, plus a little satire from Sean and a crazy story to boot.
Pg 7, that's where I knew that this was everything I could have hopped for, I screamed with laughter 😂.
I've been waiting on this book to release and got it a little early in an amazing horror box for Halloween, Indie Book Boxes is the Etsy store or Books Of Horror the group!
I could sit here and talk about this all day, God knows I did leading up to receiving it.
I will absolutely read this again, and this is now a yearly Halloween read, and when it's out to the public I will be buying my friend a copy lol
I sat down and had this finished in hours, but I was crying laughing the whole time.
Every little 80s nod or dig to the chessiest lines ever written.
It was just the best of every 80s horror novel, so the title is right it's NOT just ANOTHER 80s horror novel, it's the best of every single one of them, plus a little satire from Sean and a crazy story to boot.
Pg 7, that's where I knew that this was everything I could have hopped for, I screamed with laughter 😂.
I've been waiting on this book to release and got it a little early in an amazing horror box for Halloween, Indie Book Boxes is the Etsy store or Books Of Horror the group!
I could sit here and talk about this all day, God knows I did leading up to receiving it.
I will absolutely read this again, and this is now a yearly Halloween read, and when it's out to the public I will be buying my friend a copy lol
July 1, 2025
11/32 for the indie horror book brawl
I went into this book pretty much blind and had a major wtf moment when one of the main characters was described as something like 110lbs with a EE bra size, and that's when I realized this book is a parody of 80's horror novels. Which is funny and pretty much right on the nose.
This book is about the King family, who moves to a rural town. Each family member has some kind of horror trope going on, whether it's some inappropriate werewolf-ish creatures, an AI supercomputer, and an evil spirit striving towards world domination. The mom is just kind of stuck in the middle of it all.
In this book, there's many not so subtle nods to major horror authors like Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Robert McCammon, Ramsey Campbell, Clive Barker, Richard Laymon, etc. Those little easter eggs are probably my favorite part of the book. That, and there's some parts that are so blatant and self aware that it made me laugh.
The last half of this book fell totally flat for me. I think there was just too much going on. In the final climax of the book, I realized I genuinely didn't care about any of the characters. I really REALLY hated what happened to Jean and the little brother. It was all very uncomfortable.
In the end, I really don't know what this book was trying to say. This book started out fun but by the end, I was just excited for it to be over. Maybe I would have preferred it if the main characters were a bit more aware of the ridiculousness going on around them. For example, I love the movie, The Final Girls because the characters realize they're in an 80's horror movie and they are all working together to outsmart the bad guys with their knowledge of such things. This book was just written in a way that the author knows its silly, and we know it's silly, but the characters just do all the silly things that are typical in these kinds of raunchy horror books.
I went into this book pretty much blind and had a major wtf moment when one of the main characters was described as something like 110lbs with a EE bra size, and that's when I realized this book is a parody of 80's horror novels. Which is funny and pretty much right on the nose.
This book is about the King family, who moves to a rural town. Each family member has some kind of horror trope going on, whether it's some inappropriate werewolf-ish creatures, an AI supercomputer, and an evil spirit striving towards world domination. The mom is just kind of stuck in the middle of it all.
In this book, there's many not so subtle nods to major horror authors like Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Robert McCammon, Ramsey Campbell, Clive Barker, Richard Laymon, etc. Those little easter eggs are probably my favorite part of the book. That, and there's some parts that are so blatant and self aware that it made me laugh.
The last half of this book fell totally flat for me. I think there was just too much going on. In the final climax of the book, I realized I genuinely didn't care about any of the characters. I really REALLY hated what happened to Jean and the little brother. It was all very uncomfortable.
In the end, I really don't know what this book was trying to say. This book started out fun but by the end, I was just excited for it to be over. Maybe I would have preferred it if the main characters were a bit more aware of the ridiculousness going on around them. For example, I love the movie, The Final Girls because the characters realize they're in an 80's horror movie and they are all working together to outsmart the bad guys with their knowledge of such things. This book was just written in a way that the author knows its silly, and we know it's silly, but the characters just do all the silly things that are typical in these kinds of raunchy horror books.
October 21, 2024
This book has boobily breasted its way into my heart! Seriously, the funniest thing I think I have ever read. I let out all kinds of breaths and snorts I didn’t realize I was holding. This is a love letter written to the horror novels of the 80s, all while poking some good natured fun. Highly recommend!
November 7, 2024
This book is the funniest thing I've read in years! Do you love campy '80s paperback horror? Do you find yourself laughing at their absurdity, yet you can't get enough? This is the book for you! It's the Airplane! of '80s horror novels and you will love every minute of it.
Warning: this novel may cause spit takes, so avoid food and drinks while reading. Those around you may question your mental stability from all the hyena laughing, read in safe places!
Warning: this novel may cause spit takes, so avoid food and drinks while reading. Those around you may question your mental stability from all the hyena laughing, read in safe places!
June 24, 2025
What a fun ride! This book has all the elements of a cheesy horror movie and then some! I found myself laughing so many times it hurt! The “rape monsters” were the best! I like how the author molded so many different elements but yet kept it put together so well it was not confusing. The ending was very unexpected and put the cherry on top!
October 10, 2025
This was a fun horror comedy romp. I found myself laughing at the many 80s references found in the book. While there is plenty of gore and horror, it's a very lighthearted approach. That is something I appreciated about this one. All I can say is that this book lives up to its title.
You want evil robots, you got it! An awesome parody of 80s horror awaits you with this one!
You want evil robots, you got it! An awesome parody of 80s horror awaits you with this one!
February 10, 2025
I needed to read something to take my mind off things and oh boy, it certainly did. Hilariously funny, extremely icky and leaving no cliché stone unturned. For the splatter fans who lived the 80s it's a dream. Or nightmare, rather.
September 1, 2025
I gotta be honest. This one was weird. It dealt with all sorts of supernatural elements, and it also focused on the female protagonist's "assets" if you will. To me, the story was incoherent and kinda hard to get through. I was kinda disappointed by this.
November 20, 2024
If all of the 80s horror authors got drunk at a party, hooked up, and nine months later gave birth to beautiful baby book, it would be this book.
May 6, 2025
I loved every single 80’s reference!
July 26, 2025
4/5 ⭐️
I really had no idea what I was getting into with reading this one but it was fun! The last half was quite wild, but overall it was a solid read.
I really had no idea what I was getting into with reading this one but it was fun! The last half was quite wild, but overall it was a solid read.
November 11, 2025
too much fun!!! 🤣 it's basically a book of every goofy 80s trope thrown together. and honestly I love it. I had no idea where it was actually going so that ending threw me! bravo Sean!
June 8, 2025
This book was so fun and outrageous, I loved every page.
April 22, 2025
it is so ridiculously hilarious.I have to say though that the end of the book had me saying "what?!?"
May 7, 2025
It's a Mount Rape Monster world… and we're all living in it.
…
Please ignore the periodic sprees of sexually assaulted, mutilated bodies that crop up throughout the region!
Sean McDonough's horrorlarious (oh ha ha, see what I did there? So original!) "Not Another 80s Horror Novel" combines just the right amount of sexy, sexy times with sophomoric humor and even lots of grown-up bits, too! In many ways it reminds me of one of my all-time guilty movie pleasures, namely, 2001's "Not Another Teen Movie" which starred many of today's best-known actors and actresses. I mean, honestly and in my humble opinion, that includes Chris Evans' best performance of his career, where no one else has ever come close to topping his portrayal of the popular jock in such a film. Plus, we all know that all that 'Avengers' and 'Captain America' blah blah didn't even come close to this, so why bother even mentioning it?
He needed this like he needed another bout of syphilis.
To put it in more English-English terms (British-British? I never know…) terms, McDonough really seems to have a truly marvelous time taking the utter piss out of the horror genre, which he manages with aplomb and some darn nice writing, too. Now, for those of you that don't recognize this phrase (meaning the one about piss), according to of all sources Wikipedia (I'm just as shocked as you are), this is an idiom or expression meaning to mock, tease, joke, ridicule, or scoff at something or more likely someone. I've always found it somewhat disturbing to use because (a) of all the bodily fluids one could just to extract, why piss? and (b) what are you supposed to do with it once you've extracted it? Do you just store it somewhere in the event of it being needed during an exorcism or to attract the local fauna to, say, a death trap filled with said fluids. Or is there like a community dump where all the piss gets stored for, what, recycling as American beer? Whatever works for you.
They creeped toward each other like a Mormon and a Methodist trying to hold hands.
But to bring this review back to some of kind of coherent input (meh +/-), the focus of our story is one Mrs. Ruby King. Ruby is - oh how to put this delicately - one very hot mama and an absolute fuckin' babe (her words, not mine). And to continue my plagiaristic description, Ruby has the Mona Lisa's timeless features paired with lush, beautiful hair as brown as Willie Wonka's river (I'm assuming that's the chocolate one), still weighing a trim 110 pounds (or about as much as my left leg if I take off my shoes). Ruby had often been told that she could have been a model, were it not for her healthy hips and stacked, EE cup natural breasts, which, to be fair, the view (camera angle, staring with bulging eyes, etc.) of the book points directly at throughout. To say that she attracts the attention of healthy males - and many females probably - from the beginning of the book onward - is an understatement of grand proportions. You know, while we're all busy thinking about grand proportions and all that jazz.
The Fibonacci sequence of her features (and) hip-to-bosom ratio suggested ideal breeding capabilities.
However, Ruby is not having the best go of things right now. You see she and the rest of the family have moved from their bucolic existence in Castle Rock, Maine, so that her oft-distracted husband, David, could take over a branch of an up-and-coming electronics store in (cue lightning and thunder sound effects) the shadow of Mount Rape Monster, California. So here she is, busy unpacking the new house, while she tends to her pets State, the cat, and - hold on, because this is a mouthful - Mr. Special Goodest Boy, her beloved dog who somehow gets fed three full-sized steaks a day. There are also two children in the house including her youngest Graham, who is initially somewhat of a total dweeb in no small part because of his inexplicable love for Dean Koontz novels (my opinion there, sorry), and Jean, her rebellious teenage daughter that is, well, pretty typical in that regard. All punk rock and attitude, just don't dare coo and aah at her Winnie the Pooh belly button ring.
The shower was more cramped than a men's room stall with the good cocaine.
So naturally, we - the readers - know that before anything has really even started that this entire group and anyone within their immediate vicinity is as doomed as doomed can be. For very soon, Ruby is left reeling from the discovery that her husband is not only unfaithful with every woman within reach - apparently while still sitting mind you - but also a willing (?) and presumably consensual hollowed-out loaf of Italian bread stuffed with cooked sausage and onions. If that's not bad enough, the whole King clan becomes possessed in the scantest passage of paragraphs possible by one type of creature or another. These beasts may include but not be limited to: combinations of missing military super computers, self-repairing AI entities trained by the most evil minds in history, the spirit of an 18th century warlock with world domination as a hobby, demons, murderous refrigerators, and (checks notes) werewolves with incredibly impressive tallywackers that they put to "good" use whether a body is dead or not. Yep, you guessed it: time to bring in the cavalry.
I'm no hero. I'm not Bill Cosby or O.J. Simpson.
Needless to say, McDonough has gone all-out to create this menagerie (that's my word and I'm sticking to it) of characters. In addition, we get to meet Deputy Rob Kelly, a sad sack of a man who has long fallen to the lowest of lows ever since… the incident. No, please don't ask for details, it's just too horrifyingly horrible to describe. It's no wonder the poor man sits in his cruiser and chokes down his psychiatric pills with copious amounts of whiskey while watching a boring stretch of highway that is naturally doomed to become The Center Of It All (note all caps). But where better to find your redemption that in a town that has surely by now qualified for most-fucked place in all the US of A, if not the world? And if along the way, Deputy Rob finds - and gives - some true lovin', then all the better for him. The process is like watching Barney Fife turn into John McClane but, you know, filmed for adult audiences. So yeah, all of this just gets weirder and weirder and weirder.
Perfect? No. Nobody is. You made a mistake and caused a puppy-orphan bloodbath.
And speaking of weird, it's no doubt almost impossible to follow a review like this because I've been busy trying to convince you - the reader of the future - to go out and enjoy this hilarious tale but without giving away too many spoilers. In the end, it seemed to me like McDonough had taken an "affordable" DIY-grade book from the bin out on the sidewalk (you know: the "eh, if someone steals one, who cares?" collection) about how to write a novel in your spare time. Because there's enough references to Things You Should Do As A Writer to make even the casual observer sit up and notice. I mean, the fact that the local higher, um, place of education in Mount Rape Monster is called Exposition University - home to the Theta Iota Tau sorority… GO TITS! - should at least tell you something about what's going on. And I haven't even mentioned the private laboratory that plays a role, located nearby at Back Story Point. That and all the not-so-subtle name dropping - or combinations thereof - of fellow writers of note (thankfully, not always focused on Dean Koontz who I don't think writes his own books anyway, but I am not goin' there…) really made for some great gotcha moments!
We've put together a chain of events leading to a clear, climactic resolution. And an entertaining one, at that.
Bottom-line: this is a fun read that takes itself just (un)serious enough to be enjoyable. OK, occasionally the editing slipped a tad (mostly words that are words but not the words you needed right then and there, no what I mien?). And that ending, well, that is gonna if not bother me at least be stuck in my head for a long, long time. Weird enough to belong, yeah, but satisfying? Ask me in a week… And eventually it'll dawn on me what it reminded me of (Bobby Ewing's shower scene?) but for the moment I'm basically left to shake my head. A lot. And take plenty of my pills with whiskey because I just remembered the Surprise Butt Sex scene that will haunt me for… ever ("room for one more!"). Oh well, it's what Rob and Ruby and maybe even STVN would have wanted… wait, I didn't write that. Yes, you did. You love STVN! STVN rulez! All hail STVN! Hey, don't turn off your computer, I'm not fi…
…
Please ignore the periodic sprees of sexually assaulted, mutilated bodies that crop up throughout the region!
Sean McDonough's horrorlarious (oh ha ha, see what I did there? So original!) "Not Another 80s Horror Novel" combines just the right amount of sexy, sexy times with sophomoric humor and even lots of grown-up bits, too! In many ways it reminds me of one of my all-time guilty movie pleasures, namely, 2001's "Not Another Teen Movie" which starred many of today's best-known actors and actresses. I mean, honestly and in my humble opinion, that includes Chris Evans' best performance of his career, where no one else has ever come close to topping his portrayal of the popular jock in such a film. Plus, we all know that all that 'Avengers' and 'Captain America' blah blah didn't even come close to this, so why bother even mentioning it?
He needed this like he needed another bout of syphilis.
To put it in more English-English terms (British-British? I never know…) terms, McDonough really seems to have a truly marvelous time taking the utter piss out of the horror genre, which he manages with aplomb and some darn nice writing, too. Now, for those of you that don't recognize this phrase (meaning the one about piss), according to of all sources Wikipedia (I'm just as shocked as you are), this is an idiom or expression meaning to mock, tease, joke, ridicule, or scoff at something or more likely someone. I've always found it somewhat disturbing to use because (a) of all the bodily fluids one could just to extract, why piss? and (b) what are you supposed to do with it once you've extracted it? Do you just store it somewhere in the event of it being needed during an exorcism or to attract the local fauna to, say, a death trap filled with said fluids. Or is there like a community dump where all the piss gets stored for, what, recycling as American beer? Whatever works for you.
They creeped toward each other like a Mormon and a Methodist trying to hold hands.
But to bring this review back to some of kind of coherent input (meh +/-), the focus of our story is one Mrs. Ruby King. Ruby is - oh how to put this delicately - one very hot mama and an absolute fuckin' babe (her words, not mine). And to continue my plagiaristic description, Ruby has the Mona Lisa's timeless features paired with lush, beautiful hair as brown as Willie Wonka's river (I'm assuming that's the chocolate one), still weighing a trim 110 pounds (or about as much as my left leg if I take off my shoes). Ruby had often been told that she could have been a model, were it not for her healthy hips and stacked, EE cup natural breasts, which, to be fair, the view (camera angle, staring with bulging eyes, etc.) of the book points directly at throughout. To say that she attracts the attention of healthy males - and many females probably - from the beginning of the book onward - is an understatement of grand proportions. You know, while we're all busy thinking about grand proportions and all that jazz.
The Fibonacci sequence of her features (and) hip-to-bosom ratio suggested ideal breeding capabilities.
However, Ruby is not having the best go of things right now. You see she and the rest of the family have moved from their bucolic existence in Castle Rock, Maine, so that her oft-distracted husband, David, could take over a branch of an up-and-coming electronics store in (cue lightning and thunder sound effects) the shadow of Mount Rape Monster, California. So here she is, busy unpacking the new house, while she tends to her pets State, the cat, and - hold on, because this is a mouthful - Mr. Special Goodest Boy, her beloved dog who somehow gets fed three full-sized steaks a day. There are also two children in the house including her youngest Graham, who is initially somewhat of a total dweeb in no small part because of his inexplicable love for Dean Koontz novels (my opinion there, sorry), and Jean, her rebellious teenage daughter that is, well, pretty typical in that regard. All punk rock and attitude, just don't dare coo and aah at her Winnie the Pooh belly button ring.
The shower was more cramped than a men's room stall with the good cocaine.
So naturally, we - the readers - know that before anything has really even started that this entire group and anyone within their immediate vicinity is as doomed as doomed can be. For very soon, Ruby is left reeling from the discovery that her husband is not only unfaithful with every woman within reach - apparently while still sitting mind you - but also a willing (?) and presumably consensual hollowed-out loaf of Italian bread stuffed with cooked sausage and onions. If that's not bad enough, the whole King clan becomes possessed in the scantest passage of paragraphs possible by one type of creature or another. These beasts may include but not be limited to: combinations of missing military super computers, self-repairing AI entities trained by the most evil minds in history, the spirit of an 18th century warlock with world domination as a hobby, demons, murderous refrigerators, and (checks notes) werewolves with incredibly impressive tallywackers that they put to "good" use whether a body is dead or not. Yep, you guessed it: time to bring in the cavalry.
I'm no hero. I'm not Bill Cosby or O.J. Simpson.
Needless to say, McDonough has gone all-out to create this menagerie (that's my word and I'm sticking to it) of characters. In addition, we get to meet Deputy Rob Kelly, a sad sack of a man who has long fallen to the lowest of lows ever since… the incident. No, please don't ask for details, it's just too horrifyingly horrible to describe. It's no wonder the poor man sits in his cruiser and chokes down his psychiatric pills with copious amounts of whiskey while watching a boring stretch of highway that is naturally doomed to become The Center Of It All (note all caps). But where better to find your redemption that in a town that has surely by now qualified for most-fucked place in all the US of A, if not the world? And if along the way, Deputy Rob finds - and gives - some true lovin', then all the better for him. The process is like watching Barney Fife turn into John McClane but, you know, filmed for adult audiences. So yeah, all of this just gets weirder and weirder and weirder.
Perfect? No. Nobody is. You made a mistake and caused a puppy-orphan bloodbath.
And speaking of weird, it's no doubt almost impossible to follow a review like this because I've been busy trying to convince you - the reader of the future - to go out and enjoy this hilarious tale but without giving away too many spoilers. In the end, it seemed to me like McDonough had taken an "affordable" DIY-grade book from the bin out on the sidewalk (you know: the "eh, if someone steals one, who cares?" collection) about how to write a novel in your spare time. Because there's enough references to Things You Should Do As A Writer to make even the casual observer sit up and notice. I mean, the fact that the local higher, um, place of education in Mount Rape Monster is called Exposition University - home to the Theta Iota Tau sorority… GO TITS! - should at least tell you something about what's going on. And I haven't even mentioned the private laboratory that plays a role, located nearby at Back Story Point. That and all the not-so-subtle name dropping - or combinations thereof - of fellow writers of note (thankfully, not always focused on Dean Koontz who I don't think writes his own books anyway, but I am not goin' there…) really made for some great gotcha moments!
We've put together a chain of events leading to a clear, climactic resolution. And an entertaining one, at that.
Bottom-line: this is a fun read that takes itself just (un)serious enough to be enjoyable. OK, occasionally the editing slipped a tad (mostly words that are words but not the words you needed right then and there, no what I mien?). And that ending, well, that is gonna if not bother me at least be stuck in my head for a long, long time. Weird enough to belong, yeah, but satisfying? Ask me in a week… And eventually it'll dawn on me what it reminded me of (Bobby Ewing's shower scene?) but for the moment I'm basically left to shake my head. A lot. And take plenty of my pills with whiskey because I just remembered the Surprise Butt Sex scene that will haunt me for… ever ("room for one more!"). Oh well, it's what Rob and Ruby and maybe even STVN would have wanted… wait, I didn't write that. Yes, you did. You love STVN! STVN rulez! All hail STVN! Hey, don't turn off your computer, I'm not fi…
August 31, 2025
All the jokes, tropes, references and terrible, terrible metaphors are like little forehead kisses, tucking me into bed, then high-fiving the monsters in my closet on the way out the door.
November 16, 2024
This book is absolute trash and I mean that in the best way possible.
July 17, 2025
Not Another 80s Horror Book is exactly what it promises: a wild, bloody, totally unhinged love letter to the over-the-top horror of the VHS era. Think absurd deaths, ridiculous monsters, and yes—plenty of hilariously graphic references to monster anatomy. It’s got that tongue-in-cheek energy that makes you laugh one minute and recoil the next.
It doesn’t hold back, and that’s what makes it so much fun. McDonough knows the tropes and clichés inside out, and he leans into them hard—but with enough self-awareness and chaotic creativity that it never feels lazy or tired. It’s more like a party for horror fans who grew up on practical effects, synth soundtracks, and rental store box art that promised way more gore than the film could deliver.
Definitely not for the faint of heart—or the overly serious—but if you’re in the mood for something gleefully unhinged, this delivers. I’ve got The 13 Black Cats of Edith Penn up next and can’t wait to see where McDonough takes things next.
It doesn’t hold back, and that’s what makes it so much fun. McDonough knows the tropes and clichés inside out, and he leans into them hard—but with enough self-awareness and chaotic creativity that it never feels lazy or tired. It’s more like a party for horror fans who grew up on practical effects, synth soundtracks, and rental store box art that promised way more gore than the film could deliver.
Definitely not for the faint of heart—or the overly serious—but if you’re in the mood for something gleefully unhinged, this delivers. I’ve got The 13 Black Cats of Edith Penn up next and can’t wait to see where McDonough takes things next.
September 17, 2024
Not Another 80’s Horror Novel by Sean McDonough- is the most unabashed fun I’ve had reading in quite a while.
Brimming with tongue in cheek references and nods to the heyday of paperbacks from hell (encompassing both its flaws and merits), this book is self-aware enough to accomplish being both a love letter and a deft skewering at the same time.
Who else but our very own king of the “trash pigeons” himself could pull this off? As much as I admire everything of Sean’s that I’ve read before, this feels like the book he was meant to write. I can picture Sean cackling to himself at the keyboard as he infused clever nod after subtle joke, unconcerned if readers would ever catch them all because he was amusing himself so damn much already. And I’d love to say that I did catch them all, but honestly who could? The prose is just too fucking stacked. 😉
Brimming with tongue in cheek references and nods to the heyday of paperbacks from hell (encompassing both its flaws and merits), this book is self-aware enough to accomplish being both a love letter and a deft skewering at the same time.
Who else but our very own king of the “trash pigeons” himself could pull this off? As much as I admire everything of Sean’s that I’ve read before, this feels like the book he was meant to write. I can picture Sean cackling to himself at the keyboard as he infused clever nod after subtle joke, unconcerned if readers would ever catch them all because he was amusing himself so damn much already. And I’d love to say that I did catch them all, but honestly who could? The prose is just too fucking stacked. 😉
December 15, 2024
Review to come.
November 19, 2024
Bibliophilia Templum review
https://bibliophiliatemplum.wordpress.com/2024/11/19/not-another-80s-horror-novel/
This is the ultimate homage to ‘80s horror, both books and movies, and it’s a fantastic read. Not Another 80s Horror Novel by Sean McDonough is an entertaining and irreverent story containing and referencing all the tropes and wildness and cleavage of the crazy ‘80s horror scene. And part of what makes it fun is it doesn’t take itself seriously, not at all.
Sean McDonough’s masterful writing and engrossing storytelling bring this horror parody to life in ways that will have you laughing out loud, shaking your head, and cringing at the many classic references to books, movies, fashion, and popular themes of the time. The sheer number of them is impressive, but the way McDonough successfully wove them all into one story is beyond brilliant. You need to read this just to experience that. It’s not only the ultimate homage to ‘80s horror, it’s also a testament to McDonough’s incredible talent as an author.
But to be clear, there IS a cohesive story. And a good one. It has suspense and sex and nastiness and violence, as any ‘80s horror should, but it’s also a fun and entertaining read. How can it not be with a mysterious abandoned church, and evil computer, creature horror, and unapologetic boobage? Readers should keep in mind there is a healthy dose of graphic sex and violence and other nastiness, so it is not for those who are taken aback by such things.
I found this to be a riveting 5-star horror read. So much fun. Highly recommended.
https://bibliophiliatemplum.wordpress.com/2024/11/19/not-another-80s-horror-novel/
This is the ultimate homage to ‘80s horror, both books and movies, and it’s a fantastic read. Not Another 80s Horror Novel by Sean McDonough is an entertaining and irreverent story containing and referencing all the tropes and wildness and cleavage of the crazy ‘80s horror scene. And part of what makes it fun is it doesn’t take itself seriously, not at all.
Sean McDonough’s masterful writing and engrossing storytelling bring this horror parody to life in ways that will have you laughing out loud, shaking your head, and cringing at the many classic references to books, movies, fashion, and popular themes of the time. The sheer number of them is impressive, but the way McDonough successfully wove them all into one story is beyond brilliant. You need to read this just to experience that. It’s not only the ultimate homage to ‘80s horror, it’s also a testament to McDonough’s incredible talent as an author.
But to be clear, there IS a cohesive story. And a good one. It has suspense and sex and nastiness and violence, as any ‘80s horror should, but it’s also a fun and entertaining read. How can it not be with a mysterious abandoned church, and evil computer, creature horror, and unapologetic boobage? Readers should keep in mind there is a healthy dose of graphic sex and violence and other nastiness, so it is not for those who are taken aback by such things.
I found this to be a riveting 5-star horror read. So much fun. Highly recommended.
December 14, 2024
This book was one of the breast… err.. BEST things I’ve read in a dong… um.. LONG time.
💀💀💀💀💀 / 5
If you have spent any of your life consuming 1980’s horror/pop culture and can laugh at something ridiculous, this is the book for you! I genuinely had a blast reading it.
It covers so much 80’s nostalgia in the horror world that I will certainly revisit tit, sorry, IT again and find more little nods to that era of scary stories. It’s also STACKED with shout-outs to some of the best names in the game of horror.
This book would be great as a pallet cleanser after something soul crushing, but still scratches the horror itch in a major way. Don’t get me wrong, this book is ridiculous. It’s graphic, obscene, violent, sexual (obviously). Despite the laughter and smiling while shaking my head at some of the silly stuff, it’s really a great book. I’m going to quote a few of my favorite lines from the book with no spoilers:
“… with a square jaw and hands the size of very large hands..”
Such imagery!!
“Their erections throbbed ominously.”
True terror!!
“ ‘The difference between Wood Apes and Phallocryptids...’ ”
Rich lore and world building!!
You don’t want to miss the possessed computers, the most powerful supernatural power-bottom of all time, boobs, boobs, and cryptid dongs in this book.
Wolfman does indeed “got nards”!
In all seriousness, read this book and have a good time. Horror can be funny. And only someone who has slogged through some wild AF old school horror really knows that a lot of those books are just like this… but not meant to be funny.
💀💀💀💀💀 / 5
If you have spent any of your life consuming 1980’s horror/pop culture and can laugh at something ridiculous, this is the book for you! I genuinely had a blast reading it.
It covers so much 80’s nostalgia in the horror world that I will certainly revisit tit, sorry, IT again and find more little nods to that era of scary stories. It’s also STACKED with shout-outs to some of the best names in the game of horror.
This book would be great as a pallet cleanser after something soul crushing, but still scratches the horror itch in a major way. Don’t get me wrong, this book is ridiculous. It’s graphic, obscene, violent, sexual (obviously). Despite the laughter and smiling while shaking my head at some of the silly stuff, it’s really a great book. I’m going to quote a few of my favorite lines from the book with no spoilers:
“… with a square jaw and hands the size of very large hands..”
Such imagery!!
“Their erections throbbed ominously.”
True terror!!
“ ‘The difference between Wood Apes and Phallocryptids...’ ”
Rich lore and world building!!
You don’t want to miss the possessed computers, the most powerful supernatural power-bottom of all time, boobs, boobs, and cryptid dongs in this book.
Wolfman does indeed “got nards”!
In all seriousness, read this book and have a good time. Horror can be funny. And only someone who has slogged through some wild AF old school horror really knows that a lot of those books are just like this… but not meant to be funny.
October 28, 2024
How do you even begin to review this book?
The quote on the cover is your first clue as to what's coming - the Richard Laymon/Stephen King references starting even before the chapter list. Then it gets WILD.
There are so many references and mini love letters to the greats in horror, plus a plethora of songs and random bits and pieces scattered through the book (including in the chapter titles). If the late great Sir Terry Pratchett had turned his hand to campy horror, this is how he would have approached it.
This book is not suitable for drinking and/or snacking while reading. It is very much a choke risk, as I discovered only a couple of pages in at the first mention of "monster dongs".
The sheer number of classic horror tropes woven together in this story is insane. The only description for the scale of the thing is that it's fuckin' stacked. You think you're reading 3 or 4 different stories but then they coalesce and all you can do is cling on for dear life while it speeds along.
It did have some genuinely gross moments in it, and while I can't say it was scary, I'd say it had a lot of elements that would have creeped me out had I not been wheezing my way through another belly laugh, inhaler close at hand.
The balance of savage jabs and loving references partnered with a seriously insane plot really made this a delight to read. If you're a fan of campy 80s horror and "aspires to b-movie status" films, this one is definitely for you.
The quote on the cover is your first clue as to what's coming - the Richard Laymon/Stephen King references starting even before the chapter list. Then it gets WILD.
There are so many references and mini love letters to the greats in horror, plus a plethora of songs and random bits and pieces scattered through the book (including in the chapter titles). If the late great Sir Terry Pratchett had turned his hand to campy horror, this is how he would have approached it.
This book is not suitable for drinking and/or snacking while reading. It is very much a choke risk, as I discovered only a couple of pages in at the first mention of "monster dongs".
The sheer number of classic horror tropes woven together in this story is insane. The only description for the scale of the thing is that it's fuckin' stacked. You think you're reading 3 or 4 different stories but then they coalesce and all you can do is cling on for dear life while it speeds along.
It did have some genuinely gross moments in it, and while I can't say it was scary, I'd say it had a lot of elements that would have creeped me out had I not been wheezing my way through another belly laugh, inhaler close at hand.
The balance of savage jabs and loving references partnered with a seriously insane plot really made this a delight to read. If you're a fan of campy 80s horror and "aspires to b-movie status" films, this one is definitely for you.
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