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Networking Is Not Working: Stop Collecting Business Cards and Start Making Meaningful Connections
Over the last few decades, networking has devolved into an endless series of cattle call events full of open bars and closed fists. Perfect strangers, after a long day at the office, agree to show up and bump into each other, randomly exchanging business pitches for business cards.Needless to say, traditional networking isn’t working anymore. For successful 21st century business people, large networking events and the mountains of business cards they produce have become a waste of time and valuable resources. It's time for a new, modern approach to networking. Born out of author Derek Coburn’s frustration with having spent thousands of fruitless hours attending traditional networking events, this book offers fresh, effective, unconventional strategies for growing and nurturing a powerful network. These strategies grew Coburn’s revenue by 300% in just 18 months and can have a major impact on your business.You will learn how Become the Ultimate Connector- Become the Ultimate Resource - Identify and develop relationships with world-class professionals- Enhance the value you deliver for your best clients- Position yourself for more quality introductions to ideal prospective clientsOnce you implement the networking strategies in this book, the quality of your clients, your business, and your life will improve dramatically.
163 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 2, 2014
90 people are currently reading
586 people want to read
About the author
Derek Coburn
5 books5 followersDerek Coburn is the Founder and CEO of cadre, an un-networking community in Washington, DC and Baltimore, MD, which currently supports over 100 CEOs and business leaders and has hosted numerous bestselling authors and important public figures. He began his career as a financial advisor in 1998 and built a thriving wealth management practice, mainly by outworking everyone else.
When the economy took a turn for the worse, he had to devote more attention to his existing clients and had less time for "traditional networking". He began to experiment with his own ideas, which included creating an informal “un-networking” group consisting of his best clients and other top professionals. These techniques tripled his revenue – in just 18 months - and improved the quality of his business and life. Derek’s passion for connecting remarkable professionals led him to start cadre, and now, to write his first book.
When the economy took a turn for the worse, he had to devote more attention to his existing clients and had less time for "traditional networking". He began to experiment with his own ideas, which included creating an informal “un-networking” group consisting of his best clients and other top professionals. These techniques tripled his revenue – in just 18 months - and improved the quality of his business and life. Derek’s passion for connecting remarkable professionals led him to start cadre, and now, to write his first book.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
May 28, 2020
This book may be helpful if you've already built a network of clients and want to expand it, but unhelpful for people who may just be starting to build a network from scratch.
This book is not based on research or data, only one man's experience. That may be useful for some who want to follow exactly in Coburn's footsteps, but it also felt very self-congratulatory. Coburn, throughout the whole (but fairly short) book, wrote only of his own specific experience. He offers no alternate opinions, nor does he give suggestions to professionals who may not have the resources he does.
Overall, this may help people who are established professionals looking to grow their existing network, but not great for beginners or young professionals who don't have the budget to take their clients out for a game of golf or rent a private room for a networking lunch.
This book is not based on research or data, only one man's experience. That may be useful for some who want to follow exactly in Coburn's footsteps, but it also felt very self-congratulatory. Coburn, throughout the whole (but fairly short) book, wrote only of his own specific experience. He offers no alternate opinions, nor does he give suggestions to professionals who may not have the resources he does.
Overall, this may help people who are established professionals looking to grow their existing network, but not great for beginners or young professionals who don't have the budget to take their clients out for a game of golf or rent a private room for a networking lunch.
June 4, 2014
This is a book about that thing we all hate to do called networking. It is a good read and is focused on driving home that networking is not about generating leads and delivering your sales pitch as fast as possible.
There are some useful and practical systems or steps outlined in the book. Whether I will use them remains to be seen. This is more a function of my shortcomings when it comes to networking/connecting than the actual book itself.
Worth a read.
There are some useful and practical systems or steps outlined in the book. Whether I will use them remains to be seen. This is more a function of my shortcomings when it comes to networking/connecting than the actual book itself.
Worth a read.
July 7, 2024
I read a book like this before. I agree, to some extent, that networking is not working. Derek shares valuable insights on why he makes this claim in the book's title. One of the most important things he highlighted is that networking, when done right, can lead to more meaningful relationships that ultimately lead to closing more leads of higher value more often.
I gave this a 4 star, but if I could, I'd rather give it a 3.85-star rating. Why? A lot of what he says contradicts itself in the sense that the focus should be on gathering a network of high-value prospects and bringing them together via a dinner or something similar. David says that by doing this, you demonstrate that you bring value to the table so that it comes off as being good for both parties rather than just yourself. In my opinion, this comes off as disingenuous. I get invited to join groups, and everyone says their group members are dedicated to passing on referrals. This is just another version of TEAM Referral, BNI, and other similar networks, except that he never mentions having the other parties pay to belong to the group. There is a price, though. You have to be willing to refer business.
Other versions of what Derek describes are organizations like Meetup, where people create events to bring people together. One practice I've seen to be quite effective if you want to network with high-ticket prospects is things like inviting your prospect and potential prospects for your prospects to golf.
All in all, this can work if you have C-level connections (if that is your target market) and it can work if you are just starting off. However, if you don't have the financial budget to organize events that can bring together high-value prospects and referral partners, you're better off trying to build your brand through traditional networks until you have several black belts of success stories.
If you're in a spot like I was when I launched my first business, you haven't even developed the skill to network because you were in an employment situation that didn't really require networking. Your personality got you the referrals.
I often get invited to join groups and they try to butter me up by saying that there are a lot of people in their group (sometimes they say everyone in their group could use my services). To me, this is just another of those 'shiny object' strategies.
The main contradiction in this book is that by holding these dinner parties to bring people together, you will come across as providing value rather than trying to close deals. He even warns you about how to approach people about joining your group and attending the dinner parties because he knows that quite often, they will see this as a disingenuous method of trying to earn their business.
My suggestion is to treat every client with VIP status and give them the best experience possible so they naturally send business your way. A referral given without an ask is the most valuable proof of evidence you are doing something right. This will make it easy to simply host an event where you invite your clients and get them to know each other. This creates a zero-risk environment because they already see you as the go-to person so when they come to the dinner party, they will know it's another genuine gesture of appreciation for continuing to do business with you. It's also a great opportunity for you to highlight them and what they do to your other clients and let them naturally find their way to each others table. Imagine what that could do to bring you more business without even trying to host events for what we know is to get more business.
I gave this a 4 star, but if I could, I'd rather give it a 3.85-star rating. Why? A lot of what he says contradicts itself in the sense that the focus should be on gathering a network of high-value prospects and bringing them together via a dinner or something similar. David says that by doing this, you demonstrate that you bring value to the table so that it comes off as being good for both parties rather than just yourself. In my opinion, this comes off as disingenuous. I get invited to join groups, and everyone says their group members are dedicated to passing on referrals. This is just another version of TEAM Referral, BNI, and other similar networks, except that he never mentions having the other parties pay to belong to the group. There is a price, though. You have to be willing to refer business.
Other versions of what Derek describes are organizations like Meetup, where people create events to bring people together. One practice I've seen to be quite effective if you want to network with high-ticket prospects is things like inviting your prospect and potential prospects for your prospects to golf.
All in all, this can work if you have C-level connections (if that is your target market) and it can work if you are just starting off. However, if you don't have the financial budget to organize events that can bring together high-value prospects and referral partners, you're better off trying to build your brand through traditional networks until you have several black belts of success stories.
If you're in a spot like I was when I launched my first business, you haven't even developed the skill to network because you were in an employment situation that didn't really require networking. Your personality got you the referrals.
I often get invited to join groups and they try to butter me up by saying that there are a lot of people in their group (sometimes they say everyone in their group could use my services). To me, this is just another of those 'shiny object' strategies.
The main contradiction in this book is that by holding these dinner parties to bring people together, you will come across as providing value rather than trying to close deals. He even warns you about how to approach people about joining your group and attending the dinner parties because he knows that quite often, they will see this as a disingenuous method of trying to earn their business.
My suggestion is to treat every client with VIP status and give them the best experience possible so they naturally send business your way. A referral given without an ask is the most valuable proof of evidence you are doing something right. This will make it easy to simply host an event where you invite your clients and get them to know each other. This creates a zero-risk environment because they already see you as the go-to person so when they come to the dinner party, they will know it's another genuine gesture of appreciation for continuing to do business with you. It's also a great opportunity for you to highlight them and what they do to your other clients and let them naturally find their way to each others table. Imagine what that could do to bring you more business without even trying to host events for what we know is to get more business.
March 31, 2018
I give this 3.5 stars. Some of the actions aren't for the average person, like inviting a diverse group of highly successful professionals to a lunch (your own network event) to meet other successful individuals and help each other in their careers and businesses. Most of the actions are for building a client base, such as getting to know a wide variety of experts (a good accountant or a good attorney) so you can refer them to people in your network when they are in need of such services. They'll remember your help and the person who gained a new client may refer new clients to your business. Also, you can make it easy for your network to recommend you by sending an email indicating if they know someone in need of (trigger event like getting married or having a baby), you can assist by providing (a value like financial planning services). Your friends and network connections aren't thinking about the work you do. But by identifying the trigger events, they might know someone in those situations, which will trigger them to think of you for the service you mentioned.
August 7, 2017
Tired of attending business networking events only to feel like you're wasting your time and energy meeting people who aren't a good fit, or, dare I say, interesting to you?
In this book, author Derek Coburn explains why the traditional view of business networking is outdated and impractical for the modern age and suggests some practical, actionable ways of building your business network in an enjoyable, authentic way.
As a big fan of the book "The Go Giver" by Bob Burg and John David-Mann, I found myself associating with Derek Coburn's ideas on how to build relationships that are valuable for all concerned. I also liked his suggestions for maintaining relationships and growing influence with the wider business community.
This book will be a breath of fresh air for anybody who knows that business networking *should* work, but can't work out why it's not working for them. Highly recommended and unlike most Business Networking books you'll read.
In this book, author Derek Coburn explains why the traditional view of business networking is outdated and impractical for the modern age and suggests some practical, actionable ways of building your business network in an enjoyable, authentic way.
As a big fan of the book "The Go Giver" by Bob Burg and John David-Mann, I found myself associating with Derek Coburn's ideas on how to build relationships that are valuable for all concerned. I also liked his suggestions for maintaining relationships and growing influence with the wider business community.
This book will be a breath of fresh air for anybody who knows that business networking *should* work, but can't work out why it's not working for them. Highly recommended and unlike most Business Networking books you'll read.
January 14, 2018
Minimally relevant to any reader who doesn't do the precise kind of work Derek Coburn does for a living (high-rolling financial advising in NYC that requires acquiring new clients regularly). There are a couple of good takeaways here about how to solidify a relationship with another person in a business context, but to get anything out of this book, you have to do a lot of careful extrapolating - Coburn does none of the critical work of imagining his ideas in a more general way that could apply to other industries or situations.
Choice out-of-touch line: "A few years ago I started hosting wine tasting events on a quarterly basis. During the first year, I generated close to $150,000 of revenue from individuals I met for the first time when they attended one of these tastings. There is no reason you can't do the same."
Choice out-of-touch line: "A few years ago I started hosting wine tasting events on a quarterly basis. During the first year, I generated close to $150,000 of revenue from individuals I met for the first time when they attended one of these tastings. There is no reason you can't do the same."
February 10, 2018
If your network is your net worth, this is gold.
In a world filled with self-help books touting a "me, me, me" approach to getting where you want to go, Coburn gives a refreshing first-hand account on how generosity and adding value for others is the best path forward.
Filled with tons of practical advice and strategies, this book is not only a great read but a resource you can turn to again and again as you build a world class network and go deeper in all of your relationships. I look forward to applying his CONECTOR framework to my own business relationships.
A must read for anyone who believes that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with and wants to take a proactive approach to spending time with the very best!
In a world filled with self-help books touting a "me, me, me" approach to getting where you want to go, Coburn gives a refreshing first-hand account on how generosity and adding value for others is the best path forward.
Filled with tons of practical advice and strategies, this book is not only a great read but a resource you can turn to again and again as you build a world class network and go deeper in all of your relationships. I look forward to applying his CONECTOR framework to my own business relationships.
A must read for anyone who believes that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with and wants to take a proactive approach to spending time with the very best!
January 5, 2018
Solid information. He sort of lost me when he said that part of the process is to create your own network group that meets regularly. That's fine, but if everyone did the same we'd all be invited to peoples' personal network groups all the time. That might be a good thing, but it sounds a bit chaotic too.
May 4, 2017
Przydatne "take-awaye" ale trzeba się uzbroić w cierpliwość na porady w stylu DIY
February 7, 2020
A few helpful tips for me - and not too long.
January 16, 2022
A short read that I read in one sitting. The concepts and ideas are mostly bang on. A great guide on why old style networking isn’t working, and what the new approach should be…
September 13, 2022
Great ideas on how to better connect and build community.
November 16, 2020
Concept is decent - Chris still uses it, I don’t because I don’t like people. Helped us articulate a blog about Belinda that we received a cease and desist for 👌🏼🤘
May 12, 2016
It's not rocket science, but it is good information.
Networking and teaching others how to do it is my business, and this book gives excellent advice. I've developed similar strategies with my clients, and they work.
When I say "not rocket science," that's not a shot. Most of what works in networking is obvious in hindsight, but it's hard to see yourself. His concept of describing "triggering events" is a great example. So obvious when he points it out that you'll wonder why you haven't been doing it all along.
One observation about the Kindle version. There's no indenting or line spaces between paragraphs,which makes the book less pleasant to read.
Networking and teaching others how to do it is my business, and this book gives excellent advice. I've developed similar strategies with my clients, and they work.
When I say "not rocket science," that's not a shot. Most of what works in networking is obvious in hindsight, but it's hard to see yourself. His concept of describing "triggering events" is a great example. So obvious when he points it out that you'll wonder why you haven't been doing it all along.
One observation about the Kindle version. There's no indenting or line spaces between paragraphs,which makes the book less pleasant to read.
October 12, 2014
The first 'not shit' book on networking (or should I say un-networking?) I have read in a long time.
The thing about 'networking' seems to be that people have taken a very basic concept (i.e connecting with people) and mystified it. Even the word itself makes it sound overly complicated. Can't we call it 'meeting people' or something?
Anyway, Derek takes a hatchet to this kinda narcissistic networking thing we've got going at the moment and also has some good ideas about how to do things that bring people together in an organic, friendly fashion.
Well done.
The thing about 'networking' seems to be that people have taken a very basic concept (i.e connecting with people) and mystified it. Even the word itself makes it sound overly complicated. Can't we call it 'meeting people' or something?
Anyway, Derek takes a hatchet to this kinda narcissistic networking thing we've got going at the moment and also has some good ideas about how to do things that bring people together in an organic, friendly fashion.
Well done.
July 19, 2014
Loved this book. Very cool idea for creating a never-ending source of top quality leads for your business. It's a lot of work, mind you, so it's not for the faint of heart or the "get rich quickies" (which makes it better for the rest of us - Less competition!). A perfect first step, however would be the book "The Referral of a Lifetime" by Tim Templeton. That book sets the stage perfectly for this one.
Highly recommend this.
Highly recommend this.
December 4, 2016
A Concise Guide for making networking effective
This really resonated with me. I firmly believe that the traditional networking approach doesn't work. I do plan on implementing many of Mr. Coburn's ideas and trying them out.
I really appreciate the concise nature of the book. Time is a scarce resource. I appreciate the fact he fully presents his arguments while not taking many words to do it. It's because of that and the quality of his ideas that got the five stars.
This really resonated with me. I firmly believe that the traditional networking approach doesn't work. I do plan on implementing many of Mr. Coburn's ideas and trying them out.
I really appreciate the concise nature of the book. Time is a scarce resource. I appreciate the fact he fully presents his arguments while not taking many words to do it. It's because of that and the quality of his ideas that got the five stars.
December 10, 2015
It's not a bad book, but it applies more to building a more effective and efficient client base (something that I don't regularly have to do at my current position). I was hoping for some pointers on building good interpersonal relationships in general, but this is mainly tailored towards someone trying to build their business.
April 30, 2015
This book is too focused on sales although it brings an interesting framework (CONECTOR) in order to improve efficiency on networking. One of the most eye-opener for me was to really bring value to your connections, without ever wanting to receive something back.
January 17, 2015
Love this book and it's clear map to help those ignite their networks. We all have to start somewhere, but the ultimate goal is to create a community that helps one another. Top of my list! Will reread!
February 20, 2015
The underlying thesis of this book is spot on! Though many of the ideas aren't rocket science, the ideas are actionable and impactful and impact the quality of your business relationships. It was well worth the read.
October 4, 2015
The value of your network increases linearly if you attend random large networking events (not fun + super low conversion rate) but exponentially if you can find ways to get the people already in your network to connect and add value for each other.
July 22, 2014
Derek nails networking.
December 2, 2014
Useful! Great ideas on how to organize your business development efforts to create tremendous value for your clients and network.
September 30, 2014
This guy has his own agenda and point of view about networking. He has created a "for pay" network that folks can buy into called Cadre. I found it relatively unhelpful as a startup business. T
January 19, 2015
quick and awesome
Easy to read and I finished the book with immediate and actionable items. The idea of creating ones own networking group is intriguing to say the least.
Easy to read and I finished the book with immediate and actionable items. The idea of creating ones own networking group is intriguing to say the least.
April 3, 2015
great ideas
Great book full of ideas and a forward thinking way of doing business in today's world. A definite must read
Great book full of ideas and a forward thinking way of doing business in today's world. A definite must read
February 19, 2016
great reminders
September 18, 2016
powerful but difficult. all networking is difficult to be honest. this approach has a process which by sticking with it will have great outcomes.
October 17, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews