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Winning Marriage: The Inside Story of How Same-Sex Couples Took on the Politicians and Pundits--And Won
Ten years ago no state allowed same-sex couples to marry, support for gay marriage nationwide hovered around 30 percent, and politicians everywhere thought of it as the third rail of American politics--draw near at your peril. Today, same-sex couples can marry in seventeen states, polls consistently show majority support, and nearly three-quarters of Americans believe legalization is inevitable. In Winning Marriage Marc Solomon, a veteran leader in the movement for marriage equality, gives the reader a seat at the strategy-setting and decision-making table in the campaign to win and protect the freedom to marry. With depth and grace he reveals the inner workings of the advocacy movement that has championed and protected advances won in legislative, court, and electoral battles over the decade since the landmark Massachusetts ruling guaranteeing marriage for same-sex couples for the first time. From the gritty battles in the state legislatures of Massachusetts and New York to the devastating loss at the ballot box in California in 2008 and subsequent ballot wins in 2012 to the joyous victories of securing President Obama's support and prevailing in the Supreme Court, Marc Solomon has been at the center of one of the great civil and human rights movements of our time. Winning Marriage recounts the struggle with some of the world's most powerful forces--the Catholic hierarchy, the religious right, and cynical ultraconservative political operatives--and the movement's eventual triumph.
360 pages, Hardcover
First published November 12, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
January 29, 2015
This is an important book on a topic that is very close to my heart. Told in a compelling style, the story of Marc Solomon's inside look at how we went from no U.S. state recognizing the right of gay people to marry other gay people almost to today when 35 states recognize that right is well worth reading, whatever your personal take on same-sex marriage may be. If for no other reason than to learn from a very successful campaign just how to bring about social change, anyone interested in the political process should find this book fascinating. I remember stating several years ago that marriage equality was not the battle I would have taken on, but I'm so very glad that people like Marc Solomon saw things differently. Starting with the battle to win marriage rights in Massachusetts over ten years ago, and proceeding through the crushing disappointment of the Proposition 8 fight in California, the legislative battles in New York, helping President Obama's evolution on this issue, and ending with the Supreme Court decisions on Proposition 8 and DOMA, pretty much everything you ever wanted to know about the struggle is laid out here in very easily accessible prose. I found it hard to put the book down once I started reading, and I recommend it highly.
November 9, 2014
Winning Marriage is a gripping recount of the civil right fight of my generation. It is filled with humor and insight. It is a thrilling read even knowing the outcome.
April 19, 2015
I lived this history. I was a part of this fight. I have experienced the sadness of being cast aside and the joys of reaching a victory. Even through all of these things, when reading this book I became excited all over again, cheering on the fight for equality.
There are many ways a book like this could have been written and I believe that this author found the perfect way to explain the history of the fight to every reader, whether they followed each case or have decided to learn something new. Those who want to read this book because they want to relive the history won't be disappointed with the experience and will most likely be swept up in the excitement again, like I was.
To anyone who knows someone who is on the fence about marriage equality, I say rush out and get that person a copy of this book because it so perfectly touches the heart of what this struggle is about without being pushy, overpowering or full of lecture. Within these pages you experience the FEELING of what a fight for equality is more than the FORCE of having a decision pushed on to you. Oh, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of stories about encouraging people to change their minds about marriage equality, but they are certainly not phrased in such a way to shame the reader or force their point of view. If anything these stories will help those who want to understand reach that understanding through heartfelt interactions and touching narratives.
Living in the south, I can tell you this wasn't an easy book to carry around. I encountered several less-than-happy strangers who didn't outright confront me about having the book in my hand, but who did find ways to treat me differently once they noticed it. I won't say that this book will change everyone, but it is certainly a leap in the right direction.
My only complaint when I reached the end was that my own situation (and the situation of so many others) was little more than an afterthought when talking about marriage equality. Though this book was about marriage and not immigration, I felt that the immigration aspect was severely neglected. I could not even begin to describe to you the experience of living in an international household for ten years through this fight, waiting and desperate to unite our family that was divided by an ocean. I can not describe the feeling of watching a human being no different than myself be detained in immigration every time we traveled as a family, having to wait in worry while who knew what kind of questioning was going on behind closed doors. So many lives were changed when equality became a national reality and I was very severely hurt by this situation being included as a one or two line mention toward the end of a beautifully written history.
Even though my family seems to have been unimportant the way this history is written, I plan on suggesting this book to everyone I know, to pass it around and spread some of the understanding that is so desperately missing when it comes to this struggle above others. I can not express the importance of this book enough, nor can I properly do the writing justice by writing more here. Read this book. Pass it along to everyone you know. Change the hearts and minds of others one page at a time. Let's keep this winning streak going and let us never forget those who helped us to get where we are today.
There are many ways a book like this could have been written and I believe that this author found the perfect way to explain the history of the fight to every reader, whether they followed each case or have decided to learn something new. Those who want to read this book because they want to relive the history won't be disappointed with the experience and will most likely be swept up in the excitement again, like I was.
To anyone who knows someone who is on the fence about marriage equality, I say rush out and get that person a copy of this book because it so perfectly touches the heart of what this struggle is about without being pushy, overpowering or full of lecture. Within these pages you experience the FEELING of what a fight for equality is more than the FORCE of having a decision pushed on to you. Oh, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of stories about encouraging people to change their minds about marriage equality, but they are certainly not phrased in such a way to shame the reader or force their point of view. If anything these stories will help those who want to understand reach that understanding through heartfelt interactions and touching narratives.
Living in the south, I can tell you this wasn't an easy book to carry around. I encountered several less-than-happy strangers who didn't outright confront me about having the book in my hand, but who did find ways to treat me differently once they noticed it. I won't say that this book will change everyone, but it is certainly a leap in the right direction.
My only complaint when I reached the end was that my own situation (and the situation of so many others) was little more than an afterthought when talking about marriage equality. Though this book was about marriage and not immigration, I felt that the immigration aspect was severely neglected. I could not even begin to describe to you the experience of living in an international household for ten years through this fight, waiting and desperate to unite our family that was divided by an ocean. I can not describe the feeling of watching a human being no different than myself be detained in immigration every time we traveled as a family, having to wait in worry while who knew what kind of questioning was going on behind closed doors. So many lives were changed when equality became a national reality and I was very severely hurt by this situation being included as a one or two line mention toward the end of a beautifully written history.
Even though my family seems to have been unimportant the way this history is written, I plan on suggesting this book to everyone I know, to pass it around and spread some of the understanding that is so desperately missing when it comes to this struggle above others. I can not express the importance of this book enough, nor can I properly do the writing justice by writing more here. Read this book. Pass it along to everyone you know. Change the hearts and minds of others one page at a time. Let's keep this winning streak going and let us never forget those who helped us to get where we are today.
March 24, 2015
Fantastic. This book deals with the political movement behind marriage equality rather than its legal history. Legal victories have an important place in the book (e.g., one is was starts the political fight in Massachusetts), but this book is ultimately about how marriage won politically. There was a lot of information I hadn’t heard before in this book. But every part also reminded me of following the media coverage of each of those fights. I wouldn’t call all of it nostalgic—certainly not the morning after election day 2008—but some sections were.
It was also really interesting to see the way that Solomon and his compatriots tailored the message to appeal best to the emotions of voters and politicians. They shifted from talking about wanting to get married for the rights enjoyed by opposite-sex couples to talking about how marriage is about love and commitment. They came up with ads that were meant to be tear jerkers and even reading their descriptions had the desired effect on me.
The book is written from the point of view of a true diehard proponent of marriage equality. Solomon touches on ENDA and DADT, but not much. There is no critical analysis of whether it was right to push marriage ahead of all other rights, which is a bit of a shame. This dealt mostly with how queer groups convinced straight people to support our right to marriage. It would be interesting to hear about how marriage activists convinced other queer people that this was the paramount queer issue of the decade.
It was an interesting choice to publish this book last year, when there was less than a year to go until the Supreme Court rules on marriage equality. But perhaps it ends at the right place for a book about the political history of the movement rather than the legal history—there is little to do except win in the courts now.
It was also really interesting to see the way that Solomon and his compatriots tailored the message to appeal best to the emotions of voters and politicians. They shifted from talking about wanting to get married for the rights enjoyed by opposite-sex couples to talking about how marriage is about love and commitment. They came up with ads that were meant to be tear jerkers and even reading their descriptions had the desired effect on me.
The book is written from the point of view of a true diehard proponent of marriage equality. Solomon touches on ENDA and DADT, but not much. There is no critical analysis of whether it was right to push marriage ahead of all other rights, which is a bit of a shame. This dealt mostly with how queer groups convinced straight people to support our right to marriage. It would be interesting to hear about how marriage activists convinced other queer people that this was the paramount queer issue of the decade.
It was an interesting choice to publish this book last year, when there was less than a year to go until the Supreme Court rules on marriage equality. But perhaps it ends at the right place for a book about the political history of the movement rather than the legal history—there is little to do except win in the courts now.
January 1, 2018
Premise: The behind-the-scenes details of the fight for marriage equality from one of the key players.
Author Marc Solomon was the executive director for MassEquality from 2006 to 2009, and he then became the campaign director for the nationwide group Freedom to Marry. In short, he is uniquely qualified to tell this story.
The details in this book were fascinating; everything from the personal stories that touched the hearts of Massachusetts legislators to the internal politicking in New York to the testing that went into campaign ads and PR spending. It also includes some moments that were both big picture and largely unseen by the general public - when, how and why advocates decided to make marriage the key of the argument (rather than civil unions) as well as when, how, and why they decided to push President Obama on the issue.
I read this book partially because I wanted to read about a win for the good guys. For me, it's so hard to think back now and remember a time when marriage equality didn't seem inevitable, even if the timeline was in doubt. (Not that I'm not worried about horrible people trying to roll it back today, I just think that they are unlikely to succeed at this point; the momentum of this campaign has carried us really far.) The accounts in this book reminded me of both the (completely nonsensical) pushback and how hard so many people worked for this goal.
I do highly recommend it for a taste of how complicated the reality of national and state politics gets. This type of nuance and strategy is hard to understand without an insider tour like this one, and this is an interesting picture of one way a social movement can fight and win.
Author Marc Solomon was the executive director for MassEquality from 2006 to 2009, and he then became the campaign director for the nationwide group Freedom to Marry. In short, he is uniquely qualified to tell this story.
The details in this book were fascinating; everything from the personal stories that touched the hearts of Massachusetts legislators to the internal politicking in New York to the testing that went into campaign ads and PR spending. It also includes some moments that were both big picture and largely unseen by the general public - when, how and why advocates decided to make marriage the key of the argument (rather than civil unions) as well as when, how, and why they decided to push President Obama on the issue.
I read this book partially because I wanted to read about a win for the good guys. For me, it's so hard to think back now and remember a time when marriage equality didn't seem inevitable, even if the timeline was in doubt. (Not that I'm not worried about horrible people trying to roll it back today, I just think that they are unlikely to succeed at this point; the momentum of this campaign has carried us really far.) The accounts in this book reminded me of both the (completely nonsensical) pushback and how hard so many people worked for this goal.
I do highly recommend it for a taste of how complicated the reality of national and state politics gets. This type of nuance and strategy is hard to understand without an insider tour like this one, and this is an interesting picture of one way a social movement can fight and win.
March 18, 2016
The topic of gay marriage is something ive always been interested in, not because i myself am gay, but because I think its absolutely ridiculous that gays get shamed on for loving people. I am working on a research project for my AP language and composition class, and this is the topic chose. The book shows many political battles behind gay marriage, and all the fights they had to put up. Marc Soloman explains that gay marriage used to not necessarily be liked, and although it still isnt, its gotten loads better. In the beginning of the book he explains how the world reacted when Massachutsets proclaimed gay marriage to be okay. Then the reaction of people, after legislature passed an amendment to BAN gay marriage after already saying it was legal. Obviously an act like this stirred up major controversy, and it was very interesting to read how it all went down. 2004-2010 was a time where republicans talked down on gay marriage constantly and Solomon explains the patient wait and struggle the community had to go through during this time. The book continues to explain the fight until marriage equality was legalized, and really the history of marriage equality.
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April 1, 2015I enjoyed this book as a slightly new perspective on the movement towards legalized same-sex marriage in the United States. Most of what I've read before has focused on the judicial aspect of the topic: court opinions and arguments, constitutionality, etc. This is understandable given that much of the progress has been made in the courts acting either 'ahead of' legislative action, or in reaction to challenges to either state laws or consitutional amendments or their repeal. But this book has a fairly solid focus on the actual political campaigning behind progress on the issue, whether it is direct to voters who are voting on a state-wide referendum or amendment, in electing state or federal representatives or senators, the lobbying thereof, or even winning the opinions of the executive branch or bringing public opinion around to let the Supreme Court know that they aren't 'getting to far out in front'. All of these issues are addressed in different chapters with specific campaigns, so it didn't read as if it were a series of repeating campaign strategy blogs.
May 22, 2015
Divided into sections surrounding Massachusetts, New York, Winning at the Polls, President Obama, and then the Supreme Court, the book tells the compelling details behind the campaign to win marriage equality in the United States.
I found the section on Massachusetts the most emotional and best written section of the book, although I may be biased as I lived through the events as they unfolded in the Bay State. The remaining chapters didn't have the same amount of personality and depth of conversation, although the New York section described Governor Cuomo's intense involvement in the marriage equality movement.
I found the section on Massachusetts the most emotional and best written section of the book, although I may be biased as I lived through the events as they unfolded in the Bay State. The remaining chapters didn't have the same amount of personality and depth of conversation, although the New York section described Governor Cuomo's intense involvement in the marriage equality movement.
January 30, 2015
It is amazing how quickly the tide has turned on same-sex marriage, and this book does a great job in documenting the work done by activists on the ground to further along this shift in public attitudes, and the lawmakers and leaders whose decisions were affected by this work. As someone who has worked on political campaigns, going door to door and talking to voters, I especially appreciated the author's tribute to that aspect of the work. I cannot wait to share this book with my niece and her wife, a trailblazing couple who are part of this story as well!
May 11, 2015
Gran testimonio sobre cómo se forjó la lucha por el matrimonio igualitario en EEUU, desde el primer triunfo en Massachusetts en el 2004, hasta el contexto previo al caso que resolverá la Corte Suprema en pocos días. Es una lectura indispensable para quien esté interesado en impulsar cualquier tema de derechos civiles en la esfera pública.
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February 11, 2015Great read about the recent history of the marriage equality movement for all politicos. My favorite part were in-depth stories about specific legislators who "evolved" through meeting and getting to know same-sex couples. Love wins!
October 8, 2015
point blank, everybody needs to read this book. it was incredibly heartfelt (I can't tell you how many times I teared up) and it also provided an easy to follow account of the movement. I was surprised at how much information you miss out on, even as a constant ally, living through the movement.
December 16, 2014
An important book, but an incomplete one. Looking forward to reading a version of this in 10 years.
February 13, 2015
Fantastic look into the fight for same-sex marriage in the United States from someone who was and still is on the front lines. A great look into modern history and what still needs to happen.
July 30, 2015
I was surprised by what a compelling and enjoyable read this book was. I learned a lot about the inner workings of the campaigns for gay marriage and political process in general.
July 31, 2015
Fantastic case study of the power of organizing to change the world.
June 21, 2015
A must-read for anyone interested in the fight for marriage equality and civil rights. We are lucky to have people like Marc spear-heading the effort.
April 4, 2020
What a warm-fuzzy-feeling kind of read! The author shares his experience in the fight for marriage equality, from organizing in Massachusetts to the Supreme Court's decision overturning the Defense of Marriage Act.
A few moments really stuck out to me. Early in the Massachusetts fight, an organizer lays out a vision for the fight for marriage equality - 10 states with same-sex marriage by 2020. So they were ahead of schedule! Later, in a ballot initiative fight in Maine, a canvasser shares a story about changing a woman's mind from "strongly oppose" to "strongly support" by prompting her to think about her own marriage to her late husband.
The book gets into the details - when mailers were sent out, how canvassing scripts were developed - which, as a politics nerd, I really appreciated. The shift from lobbying legislators to changing the mind of the general public was particularly interesting. For a long time, it was a right-wing talking point that marriage couldn't win at the ballot box - but we just needed the right message!
Because the book focuses just on the fights the author was involved in, it does skip over quite a bit, focusing on just a few key states. I did crave more about the states we weren't seeing, but I appreciated getting the inside scoop in the states we did see.
A few moments really stuck out to me. Early in the Massachusetts fight, an organizer lays out a vision for the fight for marriage equality - 10 states with same-sex marriage by 2020. So they were ahead of schedule! Later, in a ballot initiative fight in Maine, a canvasser shares a story about changing a woman's mind from "strongly oppose" to "strongly support" by prompting her to think about her own marriage to her late husband.
The book gets into the details - when mailers were sent out, how canvassing scripts were developed - which, as a politics nerd, I really appreciated. The shift from lobbying legislators to changing the mind of the general public was particularly interesting. For a long time, it was a right-wing talking point that marriage couldn't win at the ballot box - but we just needed the right message!
Because the book focuses just on the fights the author was involved in, it does skip over quite a bit, focusing on just a few key states. I did crave more about the states we weren't seeing, but I appreciated getting the inside scoop in the states we did see.
December 12, 2024
Четенький мануал о том, как проводить политические кампании и проворачивать политические изменения на материале признания гомосексуальных браков в Америке. На мой взгляд, первая часть сильно лучше, чем продолжение, как часто бывает в американских книжках, но с точки зрения содержательности и завлекательности — хорошее, рекомендую
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