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Strong Women, Soft Hearts: A Woman's Guide to Cultivating a Wise Heart and a Passionate Life
Recently updated with an expanded study guide, Strong Women, Soft Hearts has quickly become an important study for women of all ages. Through inspiring real-life testimonies, Paula Rinehart writes as both a kindred spirit and a compassionate counselor to women feeling robbed of their passions and trapped by life's disappointing realities. Women who long to be released from the burden of hard choices and perpetually empty souls will be empowered to rediscover dreams long lost and refocus energy misguided. Strong Women, Soft Hearts cries out for women to embrace passion and approach life as something to be lived, not merely survived.
256 pages, Paperback
First published July 17, 2001
89 people are currently reading
802 people want to read
About the author
Paula Rinehart
24 books38 followers I'm happy to share with you my latest book (written with Connally Gillam). It's called ...And Yet Undaunted: Embraced by the Goodness of God in the Chaos of Life. I think you'll find it a fresh take on God's goodness when life look anything but that, so to speak. Some of you know I wrote Strong Women, Soft Hearts and Sex and the Soul of a Woman. I'm a counselor and speaker living in Raleigh, North Carolina, but really, my first love is writing and books.
I think you'll find this latest book, especially, describes the life you are living....and the hope on the horizon you can see, however faintly at times.
I think you'll find this latest book, especially, describes the life you are living....and the hope on the horizon you can see, however faintly at times.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
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August 2, 2011Don't read this book unless you want your toes to be stepped on a bit. If you read this book with an open heart, you'll probably start identifying areas of your life that you're not living to the fullest. You may be holding yourself back because of fear or past hurts, but Rinehart does a great job of encouraging you to take steps to get past those hindrances and to follow the Lord passionately. Life is unpredictable, but we serve a great big God Who wants us to be the strong, wise, loving, and fulfilled women He created us to be. An excellent read for anyone who suffers from depression, a cold heart, or anything else that keeps you from living a passionate life.
December 11, 2025
While the cover looks like one of those weird Christian books you see in the thrift store, this really was very good / helpful!!
March 23, 2019
I read this with a book club and that was a wonderful way to read it. It's a book that encourages you to open the doors that you have shut because of fear of being hurt again, that love and emotion are not weaknesses but strenghths. Sharing this journey of opening, trusting, and loving without reason with a group of opened and honest women just added to the depth of the experience.
August 8, 2022
Speaks directly to the heart and so… connectable to real life situations and feelings. Such a good read.
August 8, 2022
Gather some quality friends to read this one with and you are bound to have a 5 star experience. The questions at the end of each chapter are a great starting point for discussions.
March 25, 2018
Despite the obvious conservative bias about what women should and shouldn't do, and when they should feel guilty about choices they've made, this book provokes thought and introspection that I found instructive.
September 15, 2019
Great read! Read this in a difficult season and it was super helpful in realizing how God is present during and active in difficult times. Very uplifting and encouraging. Want to re-read soon!
March 13, 2008
The first quote gripped me. "in the end, it doesn't matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished-a life without heart is not worth living. For out of the heart this wellspring of our soul flow all true caring and meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice." Brent Curtis and John Eldridge The author deals with reconnecting with long-lost dreams, refocusing misplaced passions, re-evaluating expectations, discovering who to trust, and developing a vision for life. I tend to appreciate Paula Rinehart's intuitive style of writing.
June 11, 2012
Some of the best writing I've ever read on the true meaning of forgiveness versus reconciliation. This book gives you both the reason and tools for living in strength and vunerability. I thought chapters 1-7 were good I thought chapters 8-12 were phenomenal! I really couldn't stop thinking of people I wanted to pass this book on to...made me wish I was independantly wealthy so I could buy cases and mail it to everyone I know!
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November 6, 2009This is so far the most inspirational book I have ever read about women & finding the strength from within. The book speaks to me in so many ways and taught me how to be a really strong woman-not by force but by the spirit of God in me.
March 11, 2011
This book has so much wisdom in it and so much that applies to my life. Definitely one I'll need to refer back to often. (It also goes along really well with the other book I'm reading, "1,000 Gifts".)
April 18, 2022
We try to get a life by arranging the pieces as best our limited vision and wounded misbegotten hearts can do. .. Only surrender and trust (in God) allow him to take his rightful place. And the strength that comes from that surrender looks and feels different. It has more room for options, more freedom to reflect, more patience.
It fills up my soul when God dovetails things together, in a way I can't miss, and in a way that indicates He's about to do some serious work in my life. This book has been part of that experience for me over the past two months. So, this is a fairly personal review, but God's faithfulness and power is surely worth sharing!
What will you do with your heart, even if no one understands or offers validation? Will you honor your heart with the dignity God does - regardless of how you are met by others?
The response you get (from another when you risk your heart) is always secondary. .. real success if measured only by the courage it takes to do and say what needs to be done or said. Strength becomes the amount of vulnerability you can offer.
First, a woman in our Bible study leaders group mentioned a concept from this book that I'd never heard before, but could instantly relate to: "subconscious vows." So I located the ebook on hoopla and started reading.
Subconscious vows set our feet on a path we may not recognize.
When I share something... and he stares blankly... a dark temptation is that I can feel myself vowing that I will keep my heart to myself. I will build a moat around my castle and never lower the drawbridge again.
Not only was the vows section helpful, but several other chapters - most notably, on Vulnerability, on Forgiveness, and on Fear - spoke captivating wisdom and heart-piercing truth at just the right time. Because, in my counseling sessions, God was already digging up the very things this book was talking about, opening my eyes to patterns and heart motives I'd not recognized over the past decade.
God knows the injustice we feel. It offends him far more than it does us. And he is offering to repay the debt himself - in his way and in his time.
And just in the past week, I've already begun to see small, brilliant, fruit grow in myself, in areas I had declared dead and buried. The freedom that comes, in laying down things that I never even knew I was grasping, is such a relief and such a joy!
If God has you in the palm of his hand and your real life is secure in him, then you can venture forth ... and you will be safe there.
The movement of God in our lives is always to take us by the hand and walk us through the territory of our fear.
So for me, this book has been a tremendous tool in God's hands, for conviction and healing and hope that I never would have anticipated.
Fear is truly the enemy of passion and a roadblock to the wisdom God would give us.
Even if that were NOT the case, I would recommend this book to women who feel like something is missing, or who feel held back by things they don't understand within themselves. If you feel like your life could be so much more, but your own reluctance and fear has been shutting you down, please read this book.
Self-protective walls take a lot of energy to maintain... when I close off my heart, I dishonor him.
I'm planning on reading another one of Rinehart's books this summer. I do not want to forget - I want to keep my eyes on - the things that God has illuminated, so that I will continue to set my heart on the freedom He's given me, and not fall back into small, self-protective fears.
Have you thought that your willingness to forgive is really your affirmation of the power of God to do you good? ... you realize God is able to do an end run around this injury, this betrayal, this pain, and bless your life. Anyway.
God is my refuge and my defense; he is more than sufficient for me.
It fills up my soul when God dovetails things together, in a way I can't miss, and in a way that indicates He's about to do some serious work in my life. This book has been part of that experience for me over the past two months. So, this is a fairly personal review, but God's faithfulness and power is surely worth sharing!
What will you do with your heart, even if no one understands or offers validation? Will you honor your heart with the dignity God does - regardless of how you are met by others?
The response you get (from another when you risk your heart) is always secondary. .. real success if measured only by the courage it takes to do and say what needs to be done or said. Strength becomes the amount of vulnerability you can offer.
First, a woman in our Bible study leaders group mentioned a concept from this book that I'd never heard before, but could instantly relate to: "subconscious vows." So I located the ebook on hoopla and started reading.
Subconscious vows set our feet on a path we may not recognize.
When I share something... and he stares blankly... a dark temptation is that I can feel myself vowing that I will keep my heart to myself. I will build a moat around my castle and never lower the drawbridge again.
Not only was the vows section helpful, but several other chapters - most notably, on Vulnerability, on Forgiveness, and on Fear - spoke captivating wisdom and heart-piercing truth at just the right time. Because, in my counseling sessions, God was already digging up the very things this book was talking about, opening my eyes to patterns and heart motives I'd not recognized over the past decade.
God knows the injustice we feel. It offends him far more than it does us. And he is offering to repay the debt himself - in his way and in his time.
And just in the past week, I've already begun to see small, brilliant, fruit grow in myself, in areas I had declared dead and buried. The freedom that comes, in laying down things that I never even knew I was grasping, is such a relief and such a joy!
If God has you in the palm of his hand and your real life is secure in him, then you can venture forth ... and you will be safe there.
The movement of God in our lives is always to take us by the hand and walk us through the territory of our fear.
So for me, this book has been a tremendous tool in God's hands, for conviction and healing and hope that I never would have anticipated.
Fear is truly the enemy of passion and a roadblock to the wisdom God would give us.
Even if that were NOT the case, I would recommend this book to women who feel like something is missing, or who feel held back by things they don't understand within themselves. If you feel like your life could be so much more, but your own reluctance and fear has been shutting you down, please read this book.
Self-protective walls take a lot of energy to maintain... when I close off my heart, I dishonor him.
I'm planning on reading another one of Rinehart's books this summer. I do not want to forget - I want to keep my eyes on - the things that God has illuminated, so that I will continue to set my heart on the freedom He's given me, and not fall back into small, self-protective fears.
Have you thought that your willingness to forgive is really your affirmation of the power of God to do you good? ... you realize God is able to do an end run around this injury, this betrayal, this pain, and bless your life. Anyway.
God is my refuge and my defense; he is more than sufficient for me.
August 17, 2025
“Emotional pain is a curious thing. It takes place on an invisible level yet it has the potential to actually shape the real stuff of a person’s future. It can numb and destroy our passion in life but it can refine and bless as well… artists say that nothing pierces life like beauty and pain… not the stuff we accomplish or acquire. Pain is experienced as a wave and the question is how will we ride it so that we emerge in a stronger place more grounded in God, more open to life, more wise.”
August 9, 2025
What a delight to re-read this after many years. I loved revisiting the concepts and ideas that formed me deeply a long time ago, and still hold as true--particularly the call to live with an open, inviting, set-free heart. The chapter on sexuality is profoundly life-giving. The whole book is for any woman who fears she's too much and who is thirsty for the richest kind of life.
December 26, 2025
This book was recommended to me by a Christian counselor, while I needed increased protection from actively ongoing harm. It encouraged me to become more bruisable. The fundamentalist theology I was under at the time is well represented. I do not recommend for anyone seeking help.
April 9, 2019
This book was so good, so challenging, that the minute I finished it, I flipped to the first page and began it again. This could change your life.
June 26, 2020
One of my favorite books!
December 27, 2022
This is a great Bible study book to go through with either a group or one on one. I've actually done both.
April 10, 2023
a reminder that God is great no matter our role and we are in a safe place in his hands.
March 7, 2025
I needed the message of this book at this time in my life.
March 21, 2017
The woman Matt and I are doing pre-marital counselling with recommended this book to me, and I just KNEW this was going to be a poorly written Christian self-help book. Instead, I was blown away by how real & insightful & hard-hitting this book was. I never read books like this, but this was incredibly healing for me in a lot of ways.
The only chapter that annoyed me was the one on sex because it was all "women should enjoy sex too!!" and while I totally AGREE I just couldn't identify with all of the anecdotes about women who don't enjoy sex. Lol. I guess that's a good problem to have.
The book is about passion; about listening to your heart and not hearing the Christian call to "deny yourself" as a reason to deaden your desires and live quietly and passively in fear. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I loved it. This book brought me to tears numerous times.
The only chapter that annoyed me was the one on sex because it was all "women should enjoy sex too!!" and while I totally AGREE I just couldn't identify with all of the anecdotes about women who don't enjoy sex. Lol. I guess that's a good problem to have.
The book is about passion; about listening to your heart and not hearing the Christian call to "deny yourself" as a reason to deaden your desires and live quietly and passively in fear. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I loved it. This book brought me to tears numerous times.
April 24, 2013
One of the most gently encouraging and stretching books I have read. This book brought to light so many aspects of what makes women so amazingly wonderful and perplexing at the same time. It not only allowed me insight into myself, and to feel honored in ways that I had never recognized, but it also gave me additional lenses through which to view other women, and the diverse relationships I have with them. I absolutely loved this book, and while it has been a couple of years since I have read it, maybe it is time to go back and revisit it!!
May 5, 2008
There are three sections to this book:
Journey of the Heart
Windows into the heart
The wise heart
This book has a lot to think about...it has though-provoking questions with each chapter - perfect to go deeper on your own or in a small group of women.
I desire to be "a strong woman with a soft heart - a woman in touch with God and alive to all the possibilities that walking with him can bring." (page 5)
Journey of the Heart
Windows into the heart
The wise heart
This book has a lot to think about...it has though-provoking questions with each chapter - perfect to go deeper on your own or in a small group of women.
I desire to be "a strong woman with a soft heart - a woman in touch with God and alive to all the possibilities that walking with him can bring." (page 5)
August 16, 2007
Even though this book is written for women, I thought the spiritual insights she has are for men and women alike. Some of the chapter titles include pain, control, trust, and sexuality: the unsuspecting mirror to your heart. This is not a book to read lightly. But if you're curious about femininity (because you are a woman, or because you love a woman), it's a great read.
April 28, 2011
My women's group went through this book. It took us from September to May, but we finally finished it and it was great to discuss with 6 other ladies to process through it. I got so much more out of it by going through it with others than if I had read it alone. Very good topics and thought provoking questions in the back.
June 20, 2008
This book is a must read for all Christian women. It brought validation to so much that I have felt and not been able to put words to and made me really think about things in a new way. This book is a great healing tool and a wonderful motivator to find new hope and happiness.
March 1, 2009
There were parts of this that I found informative and parts of it that pissed me off. I guess the "Soft Hearts" piece didn't quite sink in...actually, it was the overly-religious tone that bugged me.
November 2, 2009
loved loved this book!!! i heard the author speak about 6 years ago and have read and reread the book many times. life throws us so many curves and it is a constant challenge to keep our hearts soft and open to the lord, to choose to live and love in spite of the pain.
August 29, 2010
If ever you find yourself wanting to have the deepest parts of your heart touched, read this book, especially in times of hurt, which we all experience and will continue to throughout this life on earth. It is one of those books that you will always go back to.
August 3, 2011
I've read this book several times and I gain something from it with every read. I often give it as a gift for friends who are making a major transition because it speaks to that kind of upheaval, but I recommend it for any woman who wants to embrace life more fully with God's perspective.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews