after devouring this in two sittings (and immediately yearning to start over again), i have never felt as seen as i do in this book.
tears flowed. repeatedly taking pauses, wondering “how is this shared experience so accurate it hurts?”this felt like looking in a mirror, learning all these experiences i assumed were unique to me, were actually shared. i continuously thought “no THIS is the best one” until i reached the next best one a page later.
thank you shannon, for putting your spoons toward writing this. i needed to read this. and i’m so grateful you took the risk to do so ❤️🩹🥄
thank you to the dear friend that gave me this<3 a diagnosis that does not come with a cure does still bring community & stories of those on the same path as you, only further along - and what a gift that is.
"it never goes away and i have a great life anyway."
I found this book so comforting, it put into words how I’ve been feeling the past few years as someone who has chronic migraine. ♾️🌟 Will be one I constantly refer back to!
Oops, accidentally gobbled this whole in under 24 hours!🤭 this book called me out in 15 different languages and perfectly summarised my day to day life. Stunning words. Thank you to Amy for sending this to me out of nowhere in what just so happened to be a horrific chronic pain week ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I want to preface this review by saying that I understand and empathise with the author re their experiences with chronic illness and chronic pain — I suffer from a number of these symptoms as well — however, I’ve tried to be as impartial as possible and lay out my thoughts purely based on how I perceived the quality of these poems.
The thing I love about poetry is its ability to explore everyday feelings/objects/experiences in a really unique way. I just didn’t experience anything unique or interesting in this collection. I think there’s some potential, particularly some moments/lines/stanzas that I found really intriguing (e.g. ‘It hurts a little worse / than a sunburn’) but there just isn’t a single piece that I loved. It felt incredibly repetitive, and not in a purposeful way, and unfortunately none of these poems really drew me in.
the way shannon writes about her chronic illness has changed my life since i first found her instagram about 4-5 years ago and idk how to adequately explain how much this book means to me. i read it in one sitting in October and im convinced the world would be a much, much kinder place for people like shannon and me if everyone read this. 100000/10
Shannon seems to be a splendid person, and I have really come to respect and appreciate her insights and her person as she's shared them via Instagram. There were a number of beautiful and piercing moments of insight in this collection, and other quick sentiments that felt more like notes app scrawlings (but every collection of poetry is bound to have bits that connect with you more than others). I think I agree with other reviewers that the writing here sometimes seems more like Instagram captions or blog entries than a polished collection of poetry, but I also don't think that that makes the insights less valuable. It's maybe just written in a more . . . online register?
Getting to hear the beauty that Shannon has fought for in the midst of a lot of pain is a great privilege. She pushes back against cultural narratives that might say we ought to be grateful for our pain and the lessons it teaches ("everything happens for a reason!"), that suffering inherently ought to be transformed into trite lessons, or else that those who have faced great adversity should be grateful for their pain because it made them the person they are today. She does not abide such theodicy. She also, with such a great tenderness, does talk about how she has been changed in painful and in formative ways by her illness, has had to grow around and in spite of it, but not because the illness in and of itself was good. I really appreciate how she strikes that balance.
I am grateful Shannon wrote and shared these words.
//
Some favorite bits:
"I greet the world in pain or not at all—
so I greet the world in pain" ("I Greet the World In Pain," 2).
"Sometimes I mention it just so someone else will know. I am in physical pain more often than I am without it. It's that way for a lot of us. More people than you'd think. . . . Just let me be in pain and be everything else I am. Don't make me hide it. It takes everything just to endure it. Don't make me hide it, too" ("Vanishing Act," 30).
"I've come to treasure my hardships. I find that they make me soft in a way that I like. I find they've opened my arms to strangers instead of closing them. But this? I would give anything to change it. Change me, make me back into the person I was before. For all the ways I've been made better, I'd give it all back in an instant to not wake up and wonder if I'll have a day without pain" ("Before and After," 50).
"Compose yourself. Speak intelligently. People want to help what they love; make them love you. Make them love you and survive another day. Ten years old, nine years old, twenty-five years old, thighs stuck to the paper and fists balled behind her back. These are the very first lessons she learns. To be lovely in addition to everything else" ("Lovely," 62-63).
"I was always either hysterical or exaggerating my pain until they cut me open to find the proof and suddenly I was brave, and sick, and worth believing.
Nothing had changed but a note in a chart and the knowledge that I could never shut up until I was better.
And that was how I saved my own life. The suits were just there, taking notes" ("Of Note," 64).
"And if I hate my bad health then I love my good nature. Sickness didn't plant it in me like every inspiring story.
It was just always there. I'd have been a happy and kind healthy person, too, I think" ("Houseplant" 69).
"What a strange, strange life, to hurt so badly and still have everything I need. What an incredible thing" ("How Strange," 136).
//
Note for Kindle users: I purchased the eBook version of this collection, only to be told that my Kindle Paperwhite couldn't read it (I think it might have something to do with the format of the illustrations?). So I ended up needing to read it via the Kindle app on my computer. Not my favorite place to read, but that is a small complaint (and of course no fault of the author's).
I wanted so badly to like this! As a chronically ill person, I found myself wondering if this book—particularly in the first third—was written for non-sick and non-disabled people. It felt introductory. In the first third of the book, many of the poems center around topics and ideas that are already oversaturated in the chronic illness social media scene. Because of this, for an audience of predominantly chronically ill people, the writing needs to set itself apart from already well known sentiments and say something new. Unfortunately, the author often is unsuccessful in portraying these ideas in a novel, or terribly poetic way. This left me frustrated and more prone to notice the repetition in the pieces. I did not like many of the short poems in the first third either. While useful to quickly convey common experiences with chronic illness to a non-sick person, I was hoping for a less on the nose style. I would’ve liked more flowery/creative language but this is personal preference.
The final two thirds of the book are the Shannon Barry we all know and love. Barry has a real gift for knowing which of her experiences can tell the story of what she’s feeling. Her prose outshines her poetry by miles. Almost every story hit me in exactly the right place. I even screenshotted a few to have with me to share with fellow healthcare students! Unfortunately, many of the pieces I liked here were directly copied and pasted from Barry’s Instagram captions. It’s a tad annoying to pay for a book where any of its pages are already online for free. Moreover, this lead me to the mean opinion that perhaps Barry is an excellent caption writer, but struggles to bridge the gap between Instagram and a poetry/prose book. I have a very liberal definition of poetry—the best words in the best order—but struggled to find any pieces I could confidently call a poem.
Overall, by the second and third act of the book I found myself more entranced and engaged with the content; enjoying the specific examples and elegance in which they were written. My main criticism stems from vague and non-novel writing, as well as mislabeling some writing as poetry. Despite my harsh criticisms, I will continue to feel deeply seen by Barry’s Instagram prose!
“Your pain is more important than their discomfort.”
As a fellow person living the reality of a Crohn’s diagnosis navigating systems that weren’t designed for life with chronic illness, I have never felt so seen of validated in my life.
Being diagnosed at age 11, I had a lot of complex emotions I wasn’t able to properly begin to process until later on into my twenties. The world often works against an invisible illness like IBD and going too in-depth more often than not leaves people feeling uncomfortable with the nature of the disease. We grow to adapt to these surroundings the best that we can even if it means apologizing when we shouldn’t, failing to push back when being medically gaslit for the millionth time, asking for accommodations that would help us to succeed in the same way as our healthy counterparts, etc etc etc.
Shannon so beautifully and painfully wove thoughts that I’m sure so many of us going through chronic illness feel but struggle to express. The stages she splits her writing into allow for the reader to experience the range of emotion that we can travel through every day and the reminder that this journey is lifelong.
Her works show that even in some of the darkest moments, we have no other option but to try and find some light. I think she did an incredible job being so vulnerable and honest, and I just hope she knows how much her words have helped to heal people like me; a once terrified 11 year old fighting for a diagnosis, to a 30 year old still pretty terrified at the uncertainty of the disease, but equally proud of how much she’s continued moving through.
“And the worry brings the pain which brings the worry. […] How can I stop my body from taking something away from me? How can I get through something that I'm supposed to be looking forward to?”
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5/5 !
as a chronic migraine girlie and someone who takes medication everyday to survive every day, this book spoke to me like no other and also made me even more empathetic to those with chronic illness. i’m so thankful shannon went ahead and published this book because it’s going to make so, so many people feel seen and if that’s not the point of poetry, then i don’t know what is 🩷
“The only thing worse than hearing about it over and over and over again is living it.”
Poetry collections are one of those things I find myself intensely critical of. So when I give one five stars, it feels incredibly well deserved to me. I had enjoyed Shannon's first collection, but this one was intensely personal and well crafted. Barry strips her chronic illness raw, discussing her struggles with adulthood and the pain of growing up as a sick child. It's something I'm familiar with myself and there are so many experiences, ones more unique to her and ones that feel universal when you live with chronic illness, that make this book intensely cathartic. I hope she keeps moving forward with these collections in the future.
“I love those little sayings about how laughter and sunshine are the best medicine. Adorable. Clearly for people who don’t need medicine. But so fun for them, I’m sure! […] I joke just to survive it. Laughter helps and probably so does all the rest of it.
But medicine is my medicine.”
Beautiful and relatable collection of poetry/prose about chronic pain. Divided into 3 sections (sad, angry, hopeful), Barry’s poems capture the complicated and often lonely nuances of trying to enjoy and engage in life when your own body seems to be working against you.
“I have given myself permission to be happy and sick at the same time”
This book is beyond incredible. It had be sobbing throughout, I know I’m gonna keep coming back to this. Shannon has a way with words and feelings like no one else I know. Everything she touches turns to magic, it seems. The most vulnerable and nuanced representation of chronic illness and the grief that comes with it. Love. xx
"I greet the world in pain or not at all— so I greet the world in pain".
All the way to, "I am a force of nature. The world will wait for me."
Truly inspiring. I will always be grateful for Shannon and her words; they got me through a rough patch of illness a few years ago, and I only long for the day she can too have more good days than bad.
What an honour it is to read something that is so difficult to put into words.
Whilst my experiences as a chronically ill person are different to Shannon Lee Barry’s, she perfectly encapsulates what it is to be a part of this community, regardless of your specific background.
Barry balances power and truth with light and laughter, without taking away from the main focus. Ifs beautiful
Shannon, thank you for putting to words exactly how I feel most everyday of my life. I truly needed to hear it as my pain increases with no end date in sight. I feel validated and seen and sad and angry and hopeful and proud and capable and worthy.
Another poetry collection where I fail to find accurate words, because they’re all sounding silly.
This collection is an ode to chronic pain and invisible illness that I think especially those without either condition should read to challenge long-standing medical or emotional beliefs.
i absolutely love every word this author writes, and this book was as amazing as i thought it would be. it was so so beautiful. there were several passages that i really identified with
eu amo demais todas palavras escritas por essa autora e esse livro foi tão sensacional quanto eu achei que seria. lindo lindo demais. teve vários trechos que me identifiquei bastante