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The Couch of Willingness: An Alcoholic Therapist Battles the Bottle and a Broken Recovery System
After two decades of helping clients battle addictions, Michael Pond, a successful therapist, succumbs to one himself. He loses his practice, his home and his family to alcoholism, ending up destitute in a rundown recovery home populated by a cast of characters straight out of Dickens.
The Couch of Willingness is a real couch in that home, a couch where Pond is forced to sleep until he surrenders and admits he’s powerless over alcohol. But just when Pond gains any measure of sobriety, in sashays his other powerful addiction, Dana, a can of Red Bull in hand and a 26er of vodka in her purse.
Pond’s harrowing two-year journey to sobriety takes stops in abandoned sheds, dumpsters, ditches, emergency wards, intensive care, and finally, prison. His riveting account crackles with raw energy and black humour as he plunges readers into a world few will ever have the misfortune to experience.
Along the way, Michael the drunk finds himself shamed and stigmatized by the very system in which Michael the therapist thrived. The dissonance rankles for Pond and, by the end of the story, for the reader too.
The Couch of Willingness is a real couch in that home, a couch where Pond is forced to sleep until he surrenders and admits he’s powerless over alcohol. But just when Pond gains any measure of sobriety, in sashays his other powerful addiction, Dana, a can of Red Bull in hand and a 26er of vodka in her purse.
Pond’s harrowing two-year journey to sobriety takes stops in abandoned sheds, dumpsters, ditches, emergency wards, intensive care, and finally, prison. His riveting account crackles with raw energy and black humour as he plunges readers into a world few will ever have the misfortune to experience.
Along the way, Michael the drunk finds himself shamed and stigmatized by the very system in which Michael the therapist thrived. The dissonance rankles for Pond and, by the end of the story, for the reader too.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
320 pages, Paperback
First published March 21, 2014
4 people are currently reading
115 people want to read
About the author
Michael Pond
4 books10 followersMichael Pond is a psychotherapist practicing in West Vancouver who specializes in mental health and addictions and is now four and a half years sober. He offers individual, family, and group therapy and has become an expert in residential school abuse healing and addiction recovery. He writes the biweekly "Professional Advice" column in the Vancouver Sun.
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
August 27, 2014
This is the best book I've read this year - and I didn't even think I would like an addiction memoir! But this story is so powerful, moving and well-written that it it's impossible to put down. Triumph, downfall, comraderie and survival are all themes that weave together in a way that had me rooting for Michael all the way through. A truly remarkable and unforgettable book.
February 12, 2015
How does a therapist with a thriving practice and an adored family become an alcoholic?
Answer: one drink at a time.
It is never easy to admit to any addiction, and working in the field, focused on the problems of others and certain he has a handle on his drinking, it took MP rather longer to recognize that he was not immune to the trap. He tells his agonizing story with hard earned humility and stark detail. I really wished I could like him more, but he is ruthless in exposing himself as a complete dork.
Does this make him endearing to me? No.
Due to previous experience, I tend to avoid creeps like him, like the plague.
Does this mean that I can find no empathy for him and those in his predicament, or that I am not cheering him on every time he he manages to get back to start? Not at all. The Couch of Willingness: An Alcoholic Therapist Battles the Bottle and a Broken Recovery System may be a cringe inducing read, and some (the author himself might be included) might focus on his privilege and his abuse of that, finding a karmic grace in his fall. What makes this book so worth reading through, even when you want to reach out and poke the author with a stick, is the genuine transformation that "Crazy Mike" achieves, in spite of himself.
Somewhat ironically, it was his impeccable training as a clinician that helped him through some of his worst times over the period of his recovery. To divert himself from the sordidness of his surroundings, the degradation, filth and misery in which he felt enmired, MP would occasionally give himself a thorough assessment. He also realizes his own treatment plan.
The jury is still out on the crucial role that genetics plays in almost all addictions. Perhaps it is more to do with the inability to know when one is satiated that leads to excess, more poor impulse control than defective genes. The fact is, we live in an addictive society that feeds off of our obsessions and insecurities.
MP has written an important book that contributes to a more realistic and sensitive approach to this pervasive and troubling issue. His experience needs to be taken soberly.
Answer: one drink at a time.
It is never easy to admit to any addiction, and working in the field, focused on the problems of others and certain he has a handle on his drinking, it took MP rather longer to recognize that he was not immune to the trap. He tells his agonizing story with hard earned humility and stark detail. I really wished I could like him more, but he is ruthless in exposing himself as a complete dork.
Does this make him endearing to me? No.
Due to previous experience, I tend to avoid creeps like him, like the plague.
Does this mean that I can find no empathy for him and those in his predicament, or that I am not cheering him on every time he he manages to get back to start? Not at all. The Couch of Willingness: An Alcoholic Therapist Battles the Bottle and a Broken Recovery System may be a cringe inducing read, and some (the author himself might be included) might focus on his privilege and his abuse of that, finding a karmic grace in his fall. What makes this book so worth reading through, even when you want to reach out and poke the author with a stick, is the genuine transformation that "Crazy Mike" achieves, in spite of himself.
Somewhat ironically, it was his impeccable training as a clinician that helped him through some of his worst times over the period of his recovery. To divert himself from the sordidness of his surroundings, the degradation, filth and misery in which he felt enmired, MP would occasionally give himself a thorough assessment. He also realizes his own treatment plan.
The jury is still out on the crucial role that genetics plays in almost all addictions. Perhaps it is more to do with the inability to know when one is satiated that leads to excess, more poor impulse control than defective genes. The fact is, we live in an addictive society that feeds off of our obsessions and insecurities.
MP has written an important book that contributes to a more realistic and sensitive approach to this pervasive and troubling issue. His experience needs to be taken soberly.
March 5, 2017
A student in the Addictions class I teach at a Canadian college suggested this as part of the reading list for the term and I am so glad he did. This is a memoir of a psychiatric nurse and counselor in private practice (for addicts!) who becomes an addict himself. This is hard to read at times, as he not only falls many times, but the falls are hard - he loses his job, his practice, his family, his life. At one point - a long point - he is homeless and moves in and out of shelters, ransacking dumpsters for food and not washing for weeks. This is a true testament to how far addiction can take a person, despite what a good person you may be. It's also a testament of how it can all turn around again when given the resources and opportunities to do so. This should be the part of any addiction counselor's repertoire and for anyone who is interested in what addiction is really about.
March 24, 2017
A brutally honest account of the most misunderstood disease in the world. Living in Vancouver, I loved the local references and followed this journey in all its ups and downs. Still, there's a humour and joy peeking through the cracks.
June 2, 2023
It is difficult to read if you are in early recovery.
June 12, 2014
Yes. This book is an essential read for anyone who has, or who has a loved one who has, battled addiction of any kind (hint - that is everyone). Though I "know" how addiction works and that it is a disease and that it's not easy to quit - I didn't really ever understand and found myself frustrated with the alcoholics I know who just couldn't seem to stop drinking.
After reading Mike Pond's story - I think I get it. Compelling, in the truest sense of the word as I felt compelled to keep reading until the end in one sitting, and well-written, this book really opens the door to a world I have been fortunate enough to know very little about. It gave me a renewed empathy for the folks I meet on the street. It has made me an addictions activist.
But beyond that - it's just a great read. This book's greatest success is that you find yourself in a relationship with Mike - cheering him on. But that also means when Mike stumbles on his journey he disappoints you. You will find yourself simultaneously rooting for him while also wanting to slap him upside the head.
Pick this book up. You won't regret it.
After reading Mike Pond's story - I think I get it. Compelling, in the truest sense of the word as I felt compelled to keep reading until the end in one sitting, and well-written, this book really opens the door to a world I have been fortunate enough to know very little about. It gave me a renewed empathy for the folks I meet on the street. It has made me an addictions activist.
But beyond that - it's just a great read. This book's greatest success is that you find yourself in a relationship with Mike - cheering him on. But that also means when Mike stumbles on his journey he disappoints you. You will find yourself simultaneously rooting for him while also wanting to slap him upside the head.
Pick this book up. You won't regret it.
October 10, 2020
A very difficult book to read, but beautiful and inspiring in all of its madness. This one hit unbelievably close to home to me - both in the way that it’s set in and around the town I grew up in, and in the way that my own father, also named Michael, was deteriorating in his addiction as I was reading this. Pond sheds a very uncomfortable light onto not only alcoholism itself, but also the broken ‘recovery’ system that we abide by as a society. It fails him again and again, just like it has failed so many. Addiction doesn’t discriminate - it doesn’t care if you’re a doctor or a therapist or a lawyer. If you or someone you love has struggled with addiction, proceed with caution - this is not a fun read. It took me nearly a year to finish because I was in such a raw emotional state. But I promise you - the story is worth it. You will come out stronger having read Michael Pond’s incredibly generous account of his own addictions.
May 29, 2014
The journey of an alcoholic takes him from the depths of hell to a brand new start at life. Micheal Pond describes his battle with the bottle, and how everything from his wife, his sons and his career all were given up due to his alcoholism. He describes how bad it was when he was with his family, how it led to him being separated from his family and ending up in the Lower Mainland,more specifically the Downtown East side.
Michael's journey leads him to "the couch of willingness" at a recovery house where he falls many times, but also develops the courage to get out of the lifestyle he was leading.
This book is on the perseverance of the human will and the love a father has for his boys, the only reason for him surviving and kicking the habit.
I would definitely recommend this book to everyone.
Michael's journey leads him to "the couch of willingness" at a recovery house where he falls many times, but also develops the courage to get out of the lifestyle he was leading.
This book is on the perseverance of the human will and the love a father has for his boys, the only reason for him surviving and kicking the habit.
I would definitely recommend this book to everyone.
September 26, 2014
Excellent book with first person insights into alcoholism and it's arcs and ravages, written by a successful therapist who lost it all. Michael Pond almost died from the later stages of alcoholism but managed to recover and a create another rare, and satisfying, life as a therapist in private practice, with--or almost in spite of--the help of many, including some of the alcoholics with whom he ended up in 'recovery' houses . It takes place mostly in British Columbia, and much of it in the area in which I live, so I know most of the locations used in the book. Some of the people's (and possibly agencies')names have been changed to protect them. I had read the parts of it which were serialized in the "National Post" newspaper, and his columns in the "Vancouver Sun" are excellent. It's a bitter sweet book, which should be a recommended read for all.
April 2, 2015
Wow. What a story! What an amazing trajectory; from successful, professional functional alcoholic, to destitute, homeless, psychotic lost cause... And back to successful, professional, recovered alcoholic! I admire his courage, writing so honestly about all the awful things he did while on benders, the damage he caused. There is not an ounce of self-pity, and yet he really shows how easy it is for someone to fall through the cracks... And how difficult it is to get back up again. Big respect, this is one of my all time favourite books and may his sobriety be lifelong.
May 30, 2014
I ordered this book because I work in the addictions field and I enjoy reading peoples' stories of addiction and recovery. This book far exceeded my expectations.
The story is riveting and very well written. I couldn't put the book down and finished it in one day.
I have nothing negative to say about it. I have already passed the book along to my coworker and she is as enthralled with it as I was.
A highly recommended read.
The story is riveting and very well written. I couldn't put the book down and finished it in one day.
I have nothing negative to say about it. I have already passed the book along to my coworker and she is as enthralled with it as I was.
A highly recommended read.
May 24, 2014
this is a straight forward excellent read. i know the territory he sobered up in and his criticisms of current recovery houses are fair but not unkind. his story seems real and should encourage anyone struggling with addiction in themselves or others. hopefully his book will help hasten more money being thrown at this problem.
August 5, 2014
A true story that begs knowing. I had no clue as to the depth of problems alcohol abuse can cause. But I do now. This book is well written and keeps the reader fully engaged from start to end. To the point that I actually found myself urging him to stay 'on the wagon.' We all know somebody with a drinking problem. Buy them a copy of the book once they've admitted they have an addiction.
October 1, 2014
Better than most
This memoir is one of the better accounts of alcoholism and recovery I've read. The detailed descriptions of his behavior under the influence and afterwards are thought provoking. The book definitely broadens my understanding of alcoholism.
This memoir is one of the better accounts of alcoholism and recovery I've read. The detailed descriptions of his behavior under the influence and afterwards are thought provoking. The book definitely broadens my understanding of alcoholism.
May 27, 2014
An honest account of a harrowing decent and recovery. Intensely raw and impossible to put down.
June 25, 2014
If you know someone that has an addiction problem this book will give you motivation to get help and move ahead in life.
June 4, 2016
hard to put down but a quick read.
August 7, 2015
Compelling memoir, neat to read something so local and recent. Great insights and such a raw story.
January 2, 2015
An honest memoir of addiction.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews