Regret-Free Living: Hope for Past Mistakes and Freedom From Unhealthy Patterns

by Stephen F. Arterburn, John Shore

Steve Arterburn, bestselling author and host of New Life Live!, shares his regrets and how he learned to live beyond them and allow God to use them. With grace and transparency, Arterburn shows why people get stuck in regret, how it impacts every relationship they enter into, and the steps to emotional and spiritual freedom. More importantly, he offers a clear, proven decision making process that empowers readers t make the best decisions for their lives--decisions that they won't regret.

Just as worry results from not accepting God's full provision for the future, living in regret is an inability to accept God's full provision for the past, especially the mistakes. Regret-Free Living takes the focus off of what was and what might have been, and shines a bright light onto the path of what is and what is to be.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Self Help

239 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2009

About the author

Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million women, and of HisMatchforMe.com.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.

Reviews

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Got this free on Book Bub. what a pleasant surprise. This book walks you through identifying and assessing regret, your role in it, what to do to get through/over it, how to avoid it. Very uplifting. The one unique thing that I learned was regret is not a life sentence. Since we all have them, (or at least most people I know) this is a book for everyone.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is filled with truth to offer solid ways to have no regrets (or fewer of them) in almost any relationship.

"The reason so many people have such a problem comprehending the toxicity of their own resentment is that resentment seethes at a person's deepest level. It lies festering and slowly rolling away beneath everything its host does, says, and thinks."

The above shared quote really spoke to me for I have been on or seen both sides of resentment. I have watched others poison their entire lives with the resentment they held for someone and I have felt it myself and been consumed by it.

The entire book shares strong ways of not allowing negative emotions and thoughts hold you hostage. When we live with a clean conscious, regrets lose their power.

Stephen Aterburn shares the need to assess the good and bad relationships in your life ... to carefully look at them. He suggests taking input from friends on your strengths and weaknesses in their relationships with you and to survey the relationship history. Reflect on where things have gone wrong in those where there is a break or problem.

From that place in the book, I found myself underlying entire paragraphs of information, which challenged me, made me look deeper into my heart and taught me a great deal.

Some of the highlights this book gives: I'm adding the actual chapter titles, my notes and some of the author's quotes from each section.

* Acknowledging your responsibility. Assess the wrong you've done according to the standards of Jesus.

* Stop the bleeding. Withdraw. Step back. Take a second look.

* When It's Not Getting Better. Before letting go, do everything you can to make it right. "To lose your dignity means to betray yourself. And you never feel any regret as deeply as that of having betrayed your own self."

It is hard to narrow down all this book shares. Do yourself a favor and take the time to read the book yourself ... it is overflowing with rich truth to help in all life's relationships!

I'll close with what Mr. Arterburn gives as Six Qualities of a Happy, Regret-Free Relationship

1. Affection.
2. Respect.
3. Shared Values.
4. Honesty.
5. Trust.
6. Freedom to be.

I am so glad I read this book and will likely refer others to read it in the future.


This book was sent to me from Bethany House publishers in exchange for my honest review.

[Chickadee]

Steven Arterburn, host of the number one Christian counseling talk show, has heard many people talk about their regrets. His latest book talks about how he personally found his way out of shame and regret over some bad choices he made in life, and how we can all live regret-free.


Regret-Free Living shows the reader how to unload all of the bad feelings and thoughts that come from keeping shame bottled up on the inside. The book does not suggest a “feel good” philosophy but rather teaches us that we are to accept responsibility for our actions and work on changing ourselves, with God’s grace, mercy and help.


Steven talks about the signs of unhealthy relationships (resentment, animosity, secrecy, selfishness, etc) and how recognizing these signs, can help us face the reality of what we need to change. Steven is clear to point out that “regret-free” living cannot be accomplished without first and foremost putting our hope and trust in God.


My favorite chapter was Chapter 6, which offers the six qualities necessary for a happy, regret-free relationship. All of the information and advice in this book can be applied to every aspect of life from marriage and parenting to co-workers and business relationships. All throughout the book, Steven uses the truth of God’s Word and scriptures to validate and support his points and advice.

[Trish Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book that was very timely for me. One of the sections I really appreciated was on how to end a relationship in a way that won't cause regrets later.

Notes on the audiobook: I liked that Steve read the book himself; it was just like listening to him on the radio and made it more personal. As this is only my second audiobook, I still find that I get distracted by other things while I am listening to the book, so I will likely need to listen again to feel like I have gotten the most out of it.

[GJ S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic

I would highly recommend this book for anyone, relationships are hard. I seen myself in so many of the stories told and I am still in the midst of a abusive marriage with no way of escape, but I feel hope from the counsel given In this book. God has opened up to me and given me hope, it seems so vague but going into reading I had no hope or desire to go on another day so I feel extremely blessed. I hope and pray this author and his family continues to fight the good fight and that the Lord's blessings will continue on them for countless generations.I give it 5+..

[Cindy Griffin · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I was surprised to find that the book was primarily about relationships, the author offered good advice and did ask the reader to take responsibility. The author, Stephen Arterburn, writes in a practical manner that makes the book feel more like a conversation between adults as opposed to a self-help book. For someone looking for a way to resolve regrets over past relationships, this book would be a good resource.

[Cindy Griffin · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I was surprised to find that the book was primarily about relationships, the author offered good advice and did ask the reader to take responsibility. The author, Stephen Arterburn, writes in a practical manner that makes the book feel more like a conversation between adults as opposed to a self-help book. For someone looking for a way to resolve regrets over past relationships, this book would be a good resource.

[Dawnastebbins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stephen Arterburn has a lot of very useful insight and offers a grounded understanding of Biblical principles, and their applications.

[Brent Soderstrum · Rating 2 out of 5]

I generally enjoy Steve Arterburn books but this book I regret even reading. Seemed to be very disorganized and when I would complete a chapter I wasn't sure what the point being made was.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great addition to the author's other books. It includes practical advice as well as encouragement for healing relationships.