Cherished Belonging: The Healing Power of Love in Divided Times

by Gregory Boyle

At a time when society is more fractured than ever before, beloved Jesuit priest Gregory Boyle invites us to see the world through a new lens of connection and build the loving community that we long to live in—a perfect message for readers of Anne Lamott, Mary Oliver, and Richard Rohr. Over the past thirty years, Father Gregory Boyle has transformed thousands of lives through his work as the founder of Homeboy Industries, the largest gang-intervention program in the world. The program runs on two unwavering (1) Everyone is unshakably good (no exceptions) and (2) we belong to each other (no exceptions). Boyle believes that these two ideas allow all of us to cultivate a new way of seeing. Every community wants to be a safe place, where people are seen, and then are cherished. By remembering that we belong to each other, we find our way out of chaos and its dispiriting tribalism. Pooka, a former gang member who now oversees the program’s housing division, puts it “Here, love is our lens. It’s how we see things.” In Cherished Belonging, Boyle calls back to Christianity’s origins as a subversive spiritual movement of equality, emancipation, and peace. Early Christianity was a way of life—not a set of beliefs. Boyle’s vision of community isn’t just a space for an individual to heal, but for people to join together and heal each other in a new collective living, a world dedicated to kindness as a constant and radical act of defiance. “The answer to every question is, indeed, compassion,” Boyle exhorts. He calls us to cherish and nurture the connections that are all around us and live with radical kindness.

Genres: Nonfiction, Spirituality, Faith, Audiobook, Psychology, Religion, Book Club

224 pages, Hardcover

Published November 5, 2024

About the author

As Executive Director of Homeboy Industries and an acknowledged expert on gangs and intervention approaches, Fr. Boyle is an internationally renowned speaker. He has given commencement addresses at numerous universities, as well as spoken at conferences for teachers, social workers, criminal justice workers and others about the importance of adult attention, guidance and unconditional love in preventing youth from joining gangs. Fr. Greg and several “homies” were featured speakers at the White House Conference on Youth in 2005 at the personal invitation of Mrs. George Bush. In 1998 he was a member of the 10-person California delegation to President Clinton’s Summit on Children in Philadelphia. Fr. Greg is also a consultant to youth service and governmental agencies, policy-makers and employers. Fr. Boyle serves as a member of the National Gang Center Advisory Board (U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention). He is also a member of the Advisory Board for the Loyola Law School Center for Juvenile Law and Policy in Los Angeles. Previously, he held an appointment to the California Commission on Juvenile Justice, Crime and Delinquency Prevention.

Reviews

[Michael Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

No one is evil. Everyone is unshakably good (no exceptions) and we belong to each other (no exceptions). This is the theme, repeated over and over, of “Cherished Belonging” by Father Gregory Boyle. While I see his point, it is going to take a lot of spiritual stretching to fully embrace this.

Father Greg is a remarkable human being. He is the founder of Homeboy Industries, the largest employment and re-entry program for gang members in the world. There are no good or bad people– just the healthy and unhealthy. Homeboy takes in the broken people and offers them hope and a way to heal in a community. The book is filled with anecdotes that are sometimes inspiring, sometimes very funny, sometimes tragic. Too often, when referring to someone, it will be prefaced with the mention that they were gunned down sometime later. It is what happens.

I had to put the book down for a few days. “Cherished Belonging” was published on November 5, 2024– Presidential Election Day. A book urging us to see the good in everyone landed on a day of incredible division and emotional fire. It was extremely difficult to embrace with the rhetoric being spewed out. Father Greg says, “Can anyone be well, whole, and healthy and believe that all men and women are not created equal?”

We are challenged to redefine our cut and dried views of evil. In “No Country for Old Men,” Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones in the movie) is baffled by what men are capable of, and the character of Anton Chigurh is evil incarnate. Author James Lee Burke’s novels openly profess that there are those in this world who must have come from a different source, that their capacity for cruelty is so far removed that it cannot be fathomed by decent folks (whomever they are). “Everyone is unshakably good (no exceptions) and we belong to each other (no exceptions)” -- that idea is very hard to sell in the light of the darkest of human atrocities.

“Cherished Belonging” reads quickly and is never dull– an accomplishment (in my view) for a book classified in the “Religion & Spirituality” genre. Father Greg is not running around suburbia, refereeing social club disputes. He embraces broken people in one of the most dangerous areas of the world. While I do not share all of his unshakeable optimism, it certainly had me questioning my perspective.

Triggers: There are heartbreaking attacks of violence. Language is realistic and unfiltered. Conservative Catholics may also be surprised to see Father Greg chastising those in the Church who are easily offended… “We can’t wait for the Institutional church to find its bravery. The people of God need to move forward. There is no bravery in returning to 1954. If we wait, cobwebs grow on our hearts.”

On a personal note, I knew “Greg” a thousand years ago when we were students at Loyola Marymount University. I played his evil (or unhealthy) son in a play and even attended his ordination. We lost contact, but I have followed his career from time to time, proud to have known him and astonished by what he has brought to the world. In 2024, President Biden awarded him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, a sort of national canonization.

Thank you, Avid Reader Press, Simon & Schuster, and Edelweiss for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first I worried this book might be a little more religious than what I was comfortable with. But the book quickly settled into Fr. Boyle's signature homie anecdotes showing warmhearted love and affection for all humans. This book touched on some recent political events and characters, but really stuck to the theme that everyone must belong to us and we must belong to them. Just like with his other books, there were parts that brought me to tears and parts that made me laugh. It felt like a balm to read during this election season. “People change when they are cherished.” Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

[Debbi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another wonderful book from Father Greg. Although my beliefs aren't entirely aligned with the authors he delivers a powerful message of acceptance, compassion and open heartedness. His message is Christian, however he offers stories that have a universal thread. Homeboy Industries is featured prominently. I love hearing updates about the people and organization over the years with each new release . Cherished Belonging is the first book by Father Greg I've read in print. I have loved all of his books as audiobooks and admit that I miss hearing his voice and humor when he tells a story. I will definitely listen to this when it becomes available. As with all of Father Greg's books...highly recommended.
Many thanks to Simon and Schuster and Netgalley for an advance readers copy.

[Lydia]

“Oddly, we all feel held, with our hands open, by Marcos's mindfulness of someone who isn't with us. He finds real joy in allowing Lydia to be present and accounted for with kindness and a singular attention.”

And I found real joy in being included with such humor, thoughtfulness, and warmth. It’s fitting to find a memory I cherish so much in “Cherished Belonging.” Separation is an illusion, indeed.

[Grace Hernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book called me OUT. feeling super challenged (in a good way) by his message. if you have been grappling in recent years, months, days with how to be in such a divided world as someone who follows jesus - this is your book. but expect to have your ass handed to you.

also small plug for his other books: they are all heart breaking & beautiful & not boring for one second. his writing is what really convinced me of God's love.
at this point, if he writes a book, I read the book.

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had never heard of Father Greg Boyle or Homeboy Industries prior to seeing him as part of the Arizona Speaker Series in Phoenix this winter. I can’t say that I was too excited to go listen to a Jesuit priest talk about rehabilitation of LA gang members. He was amazing. This book is wonderful. I’ve definitely been short on compassion for certain others in recent months. It’s helpful for me to consider their actions and behavior in a different light. If we could all embrace these ideas and this philosophy, it would change the world.

[Marley B · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5, rounding down to 3 stars. In terms of the messaging and themes, I would give this book 100/10; Fr. Boyle serves as a spiritual guide for me, and his unwavering commitment to the principle that there is no person in this world too broken to be beloved by God is a message that I deeply resonate with and hope to emulate throughout my life's work. I was enchanted, as I have been reading all of his works, by his devotion to the idea that everybody belongs to God and also each other, and I feel that his ultimate purpose of this particular book -- to highlight that one of the biggest barriers to progress (and contributors to our national divide) is this poisonous, pervasive idea that there are "good" and "bad" people (and subsequently, these "bad" people are deserving of demonization and should be excluded from society) -- is an incredibly pertinent and important message for our current political climate.

Fr. Boyle does a superb job of making clear and defending the book's central thesis, which is an argument for shifting the narrative from painting people who stand across the aisle as bad people to simply people who require healing. As he succinctly points out, "no one healthy storms the capitol or is a racist" but rather people who are deeply ill and in need of compassion, cherishing, and support, the same way we would provide a person with physical injury or a less insidious mental health issue. The need for healing can not touch their unshakeable goodness or alter the fact that, as people, they belong to us. I love his continued insistence that the social justice movement is not inconsistent with Christian beliefs, but rather a completion and fulfillment of them. Certainly, after reading, I feel galvanized to increase my impact on my local community.

The vignettes he includes of the "homies" are funny, touching, and powerful. But I found that the connections that he draws between these two elements -- the spaces where he should be reflecting on these stories and connecting them to the book's overall purpose -- fall a bit short. I wish that either he would let the stories speak for themselves, or break them down explicitly with compelling analysis. Instead, it feels as though he picks a middle ground of these two options, providing a surface-level breakdown of the point of his story by tying it back in to the end of the chapter, but never going quite far enough in analysis to say something truly groundbreaking, making it feel as though he is holding back because he is not trusting his audience to "get it", which makes the impact suffer. For this reason, although I LOVED the content, I have to give this book a 3 star rating -- it just didn't do /enough/ for me. Though I suppose this could just be an artifact of myself not being a member of the intended audience; perhaps my personal values were too aligned to learn anything truly new from this book.

"Tenderness is the highest form of spiritual maturity". Perhaps my new favorite Fr. Boyle quote ever. I want to continue to center this idea as I move through this new year.

[Harper · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a long time supporter of Homeboy Industries, I deeply admire Father G’s philosophy and message of cherished belonging and believe more than ever that this message needs to be heard and understood. This book was full of so many interesting stories and tidbits. However, I felt like I was reading a never-ending stream of thoughts that somewhat overlapped but were also disjointed at the same time.

[Amy Blythe · Rating 2 out of 5]

All are good, and so, Amen. However, I struggle with his theology, where Jesus is incorrect on points in His ministry and the Bible should be used selectively. I’m sure Fr. G would tell me I’m missing the point, and maybe I am. In that case, I wish he would have made his point better so we could more readily understand.

[Grace Conroy · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars. i struggled with this one. i’m not sure if it was because I’m human and imperfect/not capable of seeing god’s reasoning, but i found some major issues with the premise. namely, calling mental illness, broadly, the cause of all human-caused violence and suffering in the world. still fleshing out my thoughts but this humbled my vision of fr boyle a bit

[Claire Mistretta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book (and if you do, I’d love to hear your thoughts)! Hard but holy if anything has ever lived up to that. I wonder if we’ll get to see the canonization of Fr. Greg in our lifetimes

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gregory Boyle's book, Cherished Belonging, is a good book with a good message. No part of it ever knocked my socks off, though. I was excited about the premise of "the healing power of love in divided times" and that is a main theme throughout the book, but if you aren't dealing with marginalized peoples daily (which I am via nonprofit work), it could maybe be a little harder to relate some of his points. I think that this was marketed to a broader audience than it's actually written for and that left me a little confused. Not a bad book by any means, but nothing groundbreaking, either.

[Julia DiBiase · Rating 4 out of 5]

a very timely book, grateful for greg boyle and his reminders of our unshakable goodness

[Giulianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve never read Father G- Tattoos on the Heart is unmatched for me. But I will always learn something from his storytelling and need to be reminded of the inclusive ways to understand god and love :,)

“It is possible to cultivate the ability to exist with anguish and pain without having to control or change it.”

“Yes we want to do the next right thing, but what is the next right thing and who is able to choose it?”

“How we name things matters so much that it could mean the difference between horrible things continuing to happen or not.”

“A movement to advance social justice is gospel living, and it ought not be seen as a threat to the church.”

“Intention is the mist powerful ability that human beings have.”

“We belong with each other, and we need to cling to an insistence that no one is outside of that inclusion.”

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

An important book for this time....

[Savanna Bagley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this and was grateful to be reading it alongside some tough nonfiction. This was my first introduction to Gregory Boyle so a little more context on his work with gang members would’ve been nice for me but that wasn’t the scope of this project (& now I want to read more of his other work). The stories he shared were both heartbreaking and heartwarming.

Father Boyle proposes an idea that is easy to accept on the surface, very hard to accept when you dig in deep, but truly so important. Though the idea of “love being the answer” seems cheesy, the way he practices that is beautiful. He is proposing a radical kind of love and acceptance that would help heal the world. Just because something is hard (or impossible) doesn’t mean it’s not worth pursuing.

Notes/quotes/thoughts while reading:
- “What if we didn’t punish the wounded but rather sought to heal them” … “in American society we are faced with broken people and have chosen to build prisons to accommodate them, what if we did the reverse?”
- I like the mystic idea of every guest being god in disguise
- Posits mental health issues, trauma, despair as the root cause of “brokenness”. No one is evil just broken. God makes us whole. Only healing will reduce crime.
- “No one healthy spreads disinformation, no one healthy buys it”
- Mary Oliver “pay attention, be astonished, share your astonishment”
- You can’t be curious and judgmental at the same time: choose curiosity!
- “We don’t have enemies we have injuries, we don’t have hate we have wounds, we don’t have fear we have the shared ruin of our common human brokenness”

[Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author returns with more stories from live ministry to pluck our heartstrings and tap into our humanity to interconnect us with the lives of those with whom he lives, works, plays, and shares a common mission. While often formulaic... anecdotes from life at Homeboy Industries interspersed with scripture and homiletics... it is never repetitive or trite but rather touching and poignant in that those with whom society appears to indicate as different and "others" are more likely to share our wit, humor, simplicity, and access to divine redemption.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed this book…especially now in a time of such division. Beyond division in our political climate there was so much to learn about how we treat each other at home and at work. I don’t think I have ever highlighted so much in a single book.

[Karen Berlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Illuminating goodness as something that resides in all people, purporting that all belong one to another, and reframing “sin” as “brokenness,” Father Greg Boyle gives testimony to the transformative power of love through personal stories and lessons learned in kinship with those at Homeboy Industries.

[Anne C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a timely gift to read. I took my time and tried to absorb the message found within Fr. G’s story. It is a perfect gift to share with others. May we all learn to share our light.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paradigm-shifting. It felt like a balm for this weary and fractured world.

[Bailey Frederking · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so thankful for Father Boyle’s words and work.

[Cor T · Rating 4 out of 5]

More from Fr. Greg Boyle on accepting every single person as inherently good & doing harm only because they aren't "healthy." I like listening to him as a reminder that there are humans like this in the universe.

[Marlise · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love so much about this!

[Amina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook is an excellent listen, read by the author.

Father Greg’s message reaches my heart. And yes, we belong to each other.

[Bekka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Father Greg is one of my heroes and someone who some time ago expanded my view to a God who finds us all, unshakably good. Full stop. No qualifiers or disclaimers. He also makes sure to emphasize in this book how we all belong to each other, which seems obvious (brothers and sisters) but his articulation of true belonging’s ability to change people through cherishing is brave and also difficult.

I thought a lot this week about his stance that people are healthy or unhealthy. Not good or bad. I also loved his discussion of how we might treat each other if we didn’t lead with fear? All his nuance for humanity is so beautiful. This guys gets it.

[Laney · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those books where the content and author deserve 5 stars but my enjoyment of reading the book was maybe 2-3 stars. I liked the gangster anecdotes and wished there were more/longer. I looooooooved Tattoos on the Heart and was hoping for more of that.

[Chris Peck · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy his philosophy on life and find all of his books incredibly moving. the only reason I'm giving the book a 4 is because it could be a bit repetitive. We could all learn something impactful from this book about how we see one another and uphold each other as our best selves.

[Teri Quam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book!!
I believe cherished belonging is the only way......hard work.....intentional but worth it.

[Melissa Sternhagen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Especially in the times we're living in now. My heart is full and so is this book--of so many things I have underlined or notes I have put in the margins.