Warning: spoilers and really long review
Man, oh man, where do I even begin with this book. I picked up this book in the first place because I saw that the reviews were great and phenomenal so I won’t lie, I am a bit sad that I don’t share the same enthusiasm for this book.
I guess we can start with the good, I only really gave it 2 ish (I’d rather give it 1.5 but I can’t on goodreads) stars because of the author’s self awareness around the book’s content. The trigger and content warnings were around 2 to 3 pages long (for a good reason) and she understood that this whole “relationship” (if you want to call it that) was the product of pure Stockholm syndrome and ahem, assault (non - consensual sex doesn’t feel like the right word cause while she enjoys it, doesn’t change the fact that she wasn’t really the initiator or consenting party, at first anyways). Really, that tells you the overall theme of this book. The other partial star goes to the consistent depiction of aftercare. I mean bare minimum but I do appreciate it when I see it in media even though the aftercare was after…uh assault? (Again for most of the book)
Maybe this just isn’t the flavour of brain rot I like consuming so I can’t seem to understand the appeal, which again may just be my fault (I am serious). I guess I am not a fan of male characters being actual monsters. That being said, I know it’s promoted as a paranormal bully romance but the male character isn’t a bully considering he uh, kills everyone she loves, sexually and physically assaults her throughout the book. No again, there were extensive trigger warnings but let’s call it for what it is, he’s a monster. I guess modern bullies are monsters considering they torture you to the point of suicide (which she has tried several times by the way but he wouldn’t let her). But I’d call this genre more of a romanticized psychological horror and hey maybe some of you enjoy that flavour of brain rot (no judgement there) and I just don’t. So if that’s something that appeals to you, this may be the book for you.
Now I know that the MMC stalks her aggressively because of the plot and that he was conditioned to do so and so I understand the killing everyone she loves and even physically assaulting her. What I don’t get is the sexual assault (even though she was very much turned on by her perpetrator early on, eh I guess she’s wired that way). The whole non-consensual consensual blurred lines felt really forced and unnecessary for, well most of the book. I found myself skipping through the smut (which was more than 50% of the book, mind you), well written as they were, seemed like they didn’t add much to the story. It would have made sense to just annoy her and build the tension to the point of (literal) torture and have her give in, even though she’d hate it. The forcing her into it just cause she was wet still felt off and weird and didn’t make the MMC redeemable in any way. I’d rather he have grovelled and annoyed her without touching her because when he did finally grovel, it felt too late and to be honest useless cause she was still forced into all of this (again, that’s the general gist of the book, she doesn’t ACTUALLY have any control over her circumstances in any given moment). I know the MMC is a demon and thus a bit unhinged but the whole idea of demons is that you willingly sell your soul to the devil, you're never forced into anything so it was weird that the FMC never truly had a say in what was happening to her considering she was in a world with demons.
Now going onto the actual plot, I was willing to overlook the assault in the beginning (maybe not the sexual assault unless she turned the tables on him later on) to explain and redeem the entire fiasco. But I found myself having to go halfway through the book to find the THE PLOT? This 500 page book could have easily been around 300 pages or less because the inane, repetitive dialogue between the characters and the smut that took up most of the book didn’t add to the plot (like mentioned before) or help the reader connect with the characters. The relationship between all the characters in the book still felt, well surface level. Maybe it was the narration style but despite the characters inner POVs being exposed, the characters still felt out of touch and made me resent reading the book because if the plot is weird, the characters should be the redeeming element (I think?). Overall, the writing felt long winded and endless because it didn’t feel like there were buildups for key points in the story.
So a huge spoiler here is that this story is based off of Lilith (the FMC’s name), a pretty prominent figure, in the Judeo - Christian world. She was Adam’s first wife and was banished to hell to become the mother of demons, because she refused to submit to Adam. She wanted to be Adam’s equal and she was on of the first girl bosses in a religious practice that tended to favour the patriarch. Now again, the author did write trigger warnings about how it’s not the right book to read if you are spiritual or religious in any way so she wanted to treat this book as purely fictional. Now I feel like that could have been done completely without bringing in any well known figures in the historical - religious world but that’s just my 2 cents (I’m no author). The essence of Lilith in a nutshell is that she is free, wild and submits to NO ONE and that is what makes her such a threat. She defies the traditional label of femininity with unconditional love and loyalty for others because she has the pure unconditional love for herself and hence doesn’t settle for anything less. She does what she wants and if anyone cages her, she runs (i.e., think Katherine Petrova in Vampire Diaries). In this story, Lilith has no damn control over anything, not even the men who supposedly love her. As per the story, there is the past life connection that she hasn’t woken up to but again, wouldn’t it have made sense to beg and grovel for her love instead of forcing her into it? (i.e., the actual romance). In the story the MMC(s) are demons and that justifies their actions but maybe I’m an idealist but demons are instinctual, not unhinged monsters (right?). I guess this plot made me sad because Lilith has always been a misunderstood figure in history and fiction. No matter where she is spoken of, it seems her eternal fate has been to be misrepresented. In this version, she is basically a washed up version of who Lilith is truly meant to be. I just kept reading thinking at some point she is bound to reclaim her power and make the MMCs fall to their knees, right? Nope, she realizes she likes being submissive because of the beautiful power of love. Lilith belongs to no one but here she is letting these assholes boss her around and be their pet cause she got earth shattering orgasms (it’s the Stockholm syndrome, I know). It’s almost ironic that she ends up still needing to submit to some entiti(es) even though she is the Queen of Hell. Eerily similar to how Adam wanted her to submit. Felt like an almost sad attempt at humanizing Lilith because the true version is irredeemable and unlovable in her own way. I love complex female characters just as much as male characters and it seemed like justice wasn’t done here for the FMC who is supposed to be Lilith. Again, if the legend of Lilith was taken out and just any original character who is the Queen of Hell was brought into the story, it would probably be an easier read. But Lilith deserves better representation and one that honours her wild, free spirit.
I always assumed dark romance was romance with dark elements around it, otherwise it’s just a dark plot with romanticized horror but I guess this is what the new genre of dark romance is (Gothic writers from the past though would have a blast with this genre, they really did pave the path for all of this). I’ve read plenty of dark romance books around demons where the male characters are jerks but aren’t monsters. They consensually indulge the female leads’ dark, dark fantasies (just like Lilith’s fantasies) but the females are still badass and empowered completely. If you prefer paranormal romances (i.e., demons) with consent, I’d recommend the Souls Trilogy by Harley La Roux but if you prefer paranormal smut that is pure psychological torture (hey I don’t kink shame) then this book is for you. I usually don’t write reviews like this because this book had so much potential with the premise but the execution really didn’t do the plot justice. Great job with the spice but I don’t think I will be reading another book by this author because I need more than just smut and the occasional plot to keep going, otherwise it is just torture.