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What's Going on Down There?: A Boy's Guide to Growing Up
Why is my voice making such weird sounds? When will I be able to start shaving? Why do I keep getting pimples? What is a wet dream? Your body has been behaving very strangely lately. You hardly know what to expect from one day to the next. Karen Gravelle, with some help from her two young advisors, Nick and Chava Castro, has written a down-to-earth and practical book that will help guide you through this confusing time in your life. What's Going On Down There? answers any questions you might have about puberty, from what it is and what it feels like, to what puberty is like for girls, to how to handle the sexual feelings you may be starting to experience. Robert Leighton's funny and informative cartoons ease the confusion and exasperation you might feel. Part manual, part older brother, What's Going On Down There? will give you the facts you need to feel comfortable and confident about this new phase of your life.
160 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1998
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476 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
April 17, 2018
I reviewed this book to see about potentially including it on a sex ed list for my job. I also reviewed its counterpart for girls "The Period Book." I was not impressed with either. Neither book would feel affirming to a transgender reader, and neither book is written expecting that the child reading might not be cisgender and heterosexual.
This book at least includes short sections on "homosexuality" and "transgender," which is a little weird, cause does the author think that's something only young boys might need to know about? The section on homosexuality feels very clinical since it continuously refers to gay people as "homosexuals," and it includes the following charming line:
"Given the prejudice and discrimination gay people still face, most would never have chosen to be homosexual if they had felt there was another alternative."
Yikes. Ok, Karen, lemme just lay this out there for you. A lot of us "homosexuals" are pretty damn proud of who we are and would not choose to be straight if given the option. Sorry to burst your bubble, but not everyone wants to be like you.
The transgender section is not the worst thing I've ever read, it's just outdated-feeling, very basic, and talks about transgender people as though the reader is definitely not one of them.
Idk, I know this is an old book, but this new edition was published in 2017. They could have done much better, and there’s better stuff out there.
I’d recommend people to go with the 2014 edition of “It’s Perfectly Normal” (for kids like 10-14) or “Sex is a Funny Word” (for kids like 8-12) instead.
This book at least includes short sections on "homosexuality" and "transgender," which is a little weird, cause does the author think that's something only young boys might need to know about? The section on homosexuality feels very clinical since it continuously refers to gay people as "homosexuals," and it includes the following charming line:
"Given the prejudice and discrimination gay people still face, most would never have chosen to be homosexual if they had felt there was another alternative."
Yikes. Ok, Karen, lemme just lay this out there for you. A lot of us "homosexuals" are pretty damn proud of who we are and would not choose to be straight if given the option. Sorry to burst your bubble, but not everyone wants to be like you.
The transgender section is not the worst thing I've ever read, it's just outdated-feeling, very basic, and talks about transgender people as though the reader is definitely not one of them.
Idk, I know this is an old book, but this new edition was published in 2017. They could have done much better, and there’s better stuff out there.
I’d recommend people to go with the 2014 edition of “It’s Perfectly Normal” (for kids like 10-14) or “Sex is a Funny Word” (for kids like 8-12) instead.
December 4, 2020
In previewing books about puberty for my 12 year-old son, I checked three of them out from my local library. This one was my least favorite. I'll start with what I did like about it:
*Preparation for bodily changes are explained well
*Entire chapter on sexual harassment is pretty clear about how unacceptable it is and what to do if it happens
*Normalizes same-sex experimentation (but the wisdom on same-sex relations pretty much ends there)
*Mentions Planned Parenthood in the birth control section and also that it is confidential so that kids who can't talk to their parents can still get birth control. This is super important and I'm really glad they include this. Sure, we all want our kids to come to us when they feel ready to have sex and need birth control, but the reality is that not all parents would be receptive to this. And if the kid is smart enough to make the effort to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, they should be able to get birth control. Because, face it, most teens who want to have sex are going to, regardless of how their parents may feel about that decision.
*The final chapter of various 'What if...' FAQ has some good questions with thoughtful answers. I especially like that one of the questions is about meeting someone online. There is also advice about what to do if your penis gets caught in your zipper - as a lesbian mom, I had no idea that this was even a thing. While the fix was pretty much a no-brainer, I appreciated learning that this is apparently a common occurrence.
Now for the things I didn't like:
*I found the lingo really off-putting (it was really 'bro-y' with overuse of the word 'guys' and I think it might appeal to some populations of tween and teen boys, but not all)
*Simply saying that it is VERY heteronormative is an understatement. All examples of desire/sex/etc. refer specifically to male/female relationships (with the exception of the short section on 'homosexuality' - which has its own set of problems)
*Addresses queer sexuality really poorly and not in a way that would be helpful or comforting to a kid who might be gay/lesbian/trans, etc. and even, at one point, uses the phrase "become gay" which is so many levels of the wrong way to word it when a kid doesn't realize they are gay and then they do (there is another review here that addresses perfectly what exactly is problematic about this topic, and mentions the same things I would, so I hope you read that review if you want to know more about where they went wrong here).
*The section on having sex avoids oral sex and gay sex all together
*In the STD section, it talks about using a condom for prevention, but doesn't address protection during oral sex
CONCLUSION: I will not be buying this book for my son
*Preparation for bodily changes are explained well
*Entire chapter on sexual harassment is pretty clear about how unacceptable it is and what to do if it happens
*Normalizes same-sex experimentation (but the wisdom on same-sex relations pretty much ends there)
*Mentions Planned Parenthood in the birth control section and also that it is confidential so that kids who can't talk to their parents can still get birth control. This is super important and I'm really glad they include this. Sure, we all want our kids to come to us when they feel ready to have sex and need birth control, but the reality is that not all parents would be receptive to this. And if the kid is smart enough to make the effort to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, they should be able to get birth control. Because, face it, most teens who want to have sex are going to, regardless of how their parents may feel about that decision.
*The final chapter of various 'What if...' FAQ has some good questions with thoughtful answers. I especially like that one of the questions is about meeting someone online. There is also advice about what to do if your penis gets caught in your zipper - as a lesbian mom, I had no idea that this was even a thing. While the fix was pretty much a no-brainer, I appreciated learning that this is apparently a common occurrence.
Now for the things I didn't like:
*I found the lingo really off-putting (it was really 'bro-y' with overuse of the word 'guys' and I think it might appeal to some populations of tween and teen boys, but not all)
*Simply saying that it is VERY heteronormative is an understatement. All examples of desire/sex/etc. refer specifically to male/female relationships (with the exception of the short section on 'homosexuality' - which has its own set of problems)
*Addresses queer sexuality really poorly and not in a way that would be helpful or comforting to a kid who might be gay/lesbian/trans, etc. and even, at one point, uses the phrase "become gay" which is so many levels of the wrong way to word it when a kid doesn't realize they are gay and then they do (there is another review here that addresses perfectly what exactly is problematic about this topic, and mentions the same things I would, so I hope you read that review if you want to know more about where they went wrong here).
*The section on having sex avoids oral sex and gay sex all together
*In the STD section, it talks about using a condom for prevention, but doesn't address protection during oral sex
CONCLUSION: I will not be buying this book for my son
April 17, 2016
Overall an excellent book for a tween boy (girls could learn a lot too), and a good opener for parents to start discussions with their sons. It covered topics ranging from body changes/ development, sex, birth control, and what's happening to girls, to open ended "things you might be worried about." It was age appropriate language and style for developing-age boys.
Like some other reviewers, out of 140-ish pages, there were one or two lines that I didn't love. The last chapter asks adult men what they wish they'd known. One says, "If I could live my life over, I'd like to have the ability to really figure females out. I've learned that what they say isn't always what they mean." Another says, "I wish I'd known that the best guide to how a girl might feel about something was to put myself in that situation and see how I'd feel." On the first, that's a human condition, but one that does not belong in this book and attributed only to females. At worst, that attitude is why men don't believe women when they say "No," though I'm sure that's not what the authors mean. But it ties to the second. If you want to know what a girl thinks, ask her. Let's teach men and women to be responsible for what they say and do, and let's start here.
But what this means is that I'll have a conversation with my son about this part (as well as others). The book is excellent. Don't exclude it because of a couple of one-liners. Use it as a chance to engage!
Like some other reviewers, out of 140-ish pages, there were one or two lines that I didn't love. The last chapter asks adult men what they wish they'd known. One says, "If I could live my life over, I'd like to have the ability to really figure females out. I've learned that what they say isn't always what they mean." Another says, "I wish I'd known that the best guide to how a girl might feel about something was to put myself in that situation and see how I'd feel." On the first, that's a human condition, but one that does not belong in this book and attributed only to females. At worst, that attitude is why men don't believe women when they say "No," though I'm sure that's not what the authors mean. But it ties to the second. If you want to know what a girl thinks, ask her. Let's teach men and women to be responsible for what they say and do, and let's start here.
But what this means is that I'll have a conversation with my son about this part (as well as others). The book is excellent. Don't exclude it because of a couple of one-liners. Use it as a chance to engage!
September 20, 2024
I’m just surprised that this book is on here. The plot was kind of lacking and the characters were really weird. I wonder if my favourite character “testicular torsion” will appear in the second one
Want to read
July 18, 2018Radiolab asked listeners for their sex ed recommendations.
Zach, a Radiolab listener, says, "I started puberty pretty early(around age 9), prior to the start of sex-ed at school. My parents were fairly open about sex, but bought me this book to more thoroughly answer my questions(including the ones I didn't yet have). I enjoyed a lot of it, and did learn a lot about physical changes. While it was useful for understanding what was happening to my body, it was totally useless to my understanding of sex due to its near-complete heteronormativity. While I'm pretty sure it mentioned that gayness was a possibility, it offered nothing on the mechanics of gay sex and assumed that sex with women was the norm..."
Zach, a Radiolab listener, says, "I started puberty pretty early(around age 9), prior to the start of sex-ed at school. My parents were fairly open about sex, but bought me this book to more thoroughly answer my questions(including the ones I didn't yet have). I enjoyed a lot of it, and did learn a lot about physical changes. While it was useful for understanding what was happening to my body, it was totally useless to my understanding of sex due to its near-complete heteronormativity. While I'm pretty sure it mentioned that gayness was a possibility, it offered nothing on the mechanics of gay sex and assumed that sex with women was the norm..."
June 20, 2015
Great starting point for opening up discussions with our boys. Simple, concrete explanations, with a bit of a sense of humor---makes this feel easy...fingers crossed! Wish us luck!
February 22, 2021
Pretty informative book for boys. I like how it is straight to the point and described things without any filter in the first few chapters. Certain facts seemed well written.
Not a big fan of some descriptions involving girls opinions and hated the last section with 'wish I would've known...' from men they interviewed. One response was literally wish he would've known he could've been more aggressive with girls. Seriously!
Another part irritated me, one sentence.... "driving a girl out to a deserted area at night and then threatening to leave her there unless she has sex with you may legally be rape, depending on your state laws and the situation." WTH
I think they meant well, but I won't be passing this book on to my boys. Looking for something else or will just explain it in my own terms to them.
It was written in 1998 from what I can tell so.... blah blah blah
Not a big fan of some descriptions involving girls opinions and hated the last section with 'wish I would've known...' from men they interviewed. One response was literally wish he would've known he could've been more aggressive with girls. Seriously!
Another part irritated me, one sentence.... "driving a girl out to a deserted area at night and then threatening to leave her there unless she has sex with you may legally be rape, depending on your state laws and the situation." WTH
I think they meant well, but I won't be passing this book on to my boys. Looking for something else or will just explain it in my own terms to them.
It was written in 1998 from what I can tell so.... blah blah blah
May 20, 2024
This was a fantastic resource back when it was new. It covered all the basics in a casual, easy to understand way.
All the issues and complications with deviant sexuality that have come to light in the recent decade, therefore, would not have been included. Perhaps they were considered irrelevant or not worth confusing young people with at that time.
All the issues and complications with deviant sexuality that have come to light in the recent decade, therefore, would not have been included. Perhaps they were considered irrelevant or not worth confusing young people with at that time.
June 1, 2017
I really liked this book, some parts of it made me laugh and some parts made me cringe. Also, I really learned a lot from this book (considering I already know a lot) it helped me out a lot.
July 18, 2017
Didn't get a chance to finish this. Make take it out from the library again.
October 30, 2019
Not the book for children under the age of 9 years old in my opinion.
January 19, 2016
I previewed this book to see if it was appropriate for my tween son who has begun asking questions. Overall I feel this book is probably most appropriate for a teenager (13 and above). One passage in this book was odd--it said heterosexual boys masturbating together (or even each other) was not odd...I'm going to have to disagree and my husband violently disagrees. We have zero issue with them discussing the difference between hetero and homo sexual relationships (which they do) but this wasn't something we would encourage any teen to think is ok, no matter what their sexual orientation. Maybe we are prudes
August 31, 2013
I read this book only to see if there is more information from boys puberty, because also I read other books about puberty. So this book was more information and allot of pictures to understand about growing into man.
Plus this book have who to make babys for real, they have little fact about girls into puberty too if boys are woundering about her. And also there is many questions about boys and they can answere on the book. So this book is fun facts but also it ture boy are growing they are leaning so much more.
Plus this book have who to make babys for real, they have little fact about girls into puberty too if boys are woundering about her. And also there is many questions about boys and they can answere on the book. So this book is fun facts but also it ture boy are growing they are leaning so much more.
May 27, 2016
Quite detailed, informative, and candid book about puberty, sex, and sexuality for tweens and teens, written by a nurse with the assistance of her two sons. It discusses feelings without moralizing. Pretty sound and I'd recommend it. I'd also welcome a new edition that talked about gender and transgender; as one might expect from its original publication date (1998), those are not covered. A bit more surprising is the absence of pornography as a topic. The short section about "meeting people on-line" merits expansion nowadays too. The cartoony illustrations are fun and lighten the mood.
June 8, 2013
I read this one to see if it would be good for my boys that are about to launch into puberty. It was great. It was clear on the science and also clear (for a Mom like me who is socially liberal and not religious, ie Libertarian) on the societal and psychological implications and potential experiences as well. Now if I could only get them to read it!
January 4, 2016
This is a great primer. I pre-read it, for obvious reasons, and decided it's a good go-to book for my 11 year old. There is one answer to a 'write in' question that raised my eyebrow, but essentially it comes across as helpful, informative and nonjudgmental.
June 11, 2016
(Purchased for my son.) This book gives the boys such thorough information, that I'm going to have my daughter read it in addition to the one she read designed for girls entering/experiencing puberty.
January 16, 2008
HAHA. I was actually reading this after the ELA test we took today. I really like the illustrations by the way. VERY DETAILED.
-amyelizabeth.
-amyelizabeth.
October 20, 2008
ESTE LIBRO SE TRATA DE COMO PREVENIR INFECSIONES SEXUALES Y TAMBIEN SE TRATA DE TU CUERPO.ESTE LIBRO ME ENCATA POR QUE TE ALLUDA A COMO PREVENIREL POR EJEMPLO EL HPV.
December 2, 2008
Read for a panel presentation in my Children's Non-Fiction class.
Read
September 27, 2021Metas perrašyti.
March 29, 2017
I don't think this book should even be in printing! I can't even react big enough to the disgust I had while reading this with my 11 year old son. From the description you think it's a great book for a preteen who will be asking or has started asking questions, but 2 pages into the book I knew it was a BAD IDEA! I am all for explaining the process of reproduction but this book basically TEACHES kids how to have sex! Why does a preteen need to know how to put a penis in a vagina and how to get an erection and make a woman wet? I read the chapter titled "HAVING SEX" and was appalled by the amount of unnecessary details it had. You may be thinking "oh this lady is a prude", well I can assure you I am not! I enjoy my erotic books just as much as the next girl, but I am far into my adulthood and don't want my 11 year old to share this genre of books. I thought I was getting a harmless puberty book and I was VERY WRONG! I don't recommend this book to anyone unless you plan to answer erotic questions from your child. I wish I could give it -5 stars! DON'T BUY THIS BOOK!
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews