"He reminds me to question my existence; why my creative accomplishments are inadequate in his eyes, a man who had to leave because of war. Being the eldest daughter is similar to the Final Girl in a slasher movie; everyone has to die for you to survive. But I don't feel like the Final Girl. Not when it's my blood on the knife."
While I think there needs to be some degree of connection to any piece of media for someone to deem it good or bad, I think poetry requires a lot more of that than most. So, while I know a lot of other readers really connected with What Haunts Me Most, I was unfortunately not in that category. It's because of this that I won't say that I think Kouri's poetry is good or bad - it was simply just not for me.
That being said, however, I do feel like What Haunts Me Most was a little bit of a let-down in terms of what I thought I was going into. This poetry collection is touted as horror poetry, with the excerpt from the poem "The Final Girl" serving as an overarching example of what you can expect to read in this book. As a big horror book fan, I personally don't consider this book to be horror, or horror poetry. While some other reviewers found the language and visuals in What Haunts Me Most to be gut-wrenching, disgusting, or terrifying, to me, it just read like any other poetry book written by a woman about womanhood. There's nothing here that's actually horror, so much as it's simply the dark realities that women live with.
I, personally, am also just not a fan of the motifs in this book. Honestly, I'm not even certain I can call them motifs or themes, because they aren't overarching or recurring things; they're just the same words and analogies copy and pasted from one poem into the other. You could make a drinking game out of it, really: take a shot every time Kouri writes about peaches, Christianity, or describes a woman's genitals as "the hole between my legs." There are nearly thirty poems in this book, and yet, half of them read like the same thing over and over again.
I also have some complicated feelings when it comes to a few poems in particular, namely "For Tara Calico." There are a few instances of Kouri writing poems or making allusions to about true crime cases, like the Flannan Isle Lighthouse mystery of 1900, JonBenét Ramsey's 1996 murder, and the disappearance of Tara Calico in 1988. Now, I'm a true crime fan, and I enjoy true crime media, but there's something about writing poetry about the potential kidnapping and murder of a woman you don't know that doesn't sit well with me. The poem is intimate, but it's very much about a real person whose loved ones have gone through a very real trauma, and I personally didn't find it entirely appropriate. It really just feels like the sensationalizing and over-familiarity of true crime cases that is so unfortunately common with a lot of mainstream media.
Overall, What Haunts Me Most just really wasn't what I expected it to be, and what I was given didn't resonate with me.
**Thank you to NetGalley for a copy of this book!