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Just Friends: On the joy, power and influence of friendship
Voice memos, care packages, hours-long phone conversations, treasured traditions that go back decades, glasses held aloft during wedding toasts, hands held at funerals, first cuddles with newborns, work lunches with work wives, taking it to the group chat – our friendships touch and enrich every part of our lives. But how often do we stop to consider them deeply?
Just Friends explores modern friendship – what it means to be, to make and, sometimes, to lose a friend. It is a celebration of friendship, shining a light on the many different forms they can take and the comfort they provide, whether they exist within the workplace, emerge in motherhood, are uncovered inside our neighbourhoods, or become our chosen family.
Just Friends is an ode to the people that shape us. It is a book to devour on the beach or with a book club, a book to return to again and again, and, most importantly, a book to press into the hands of the friends you love the most.
Just Friends explores modern friendship – what it means to be, to make and, sometimes, to lose a friend. It is a celebration of friendship, shining a light on the many different forms they can take and the comfort they provide, whether they exist within the workplace, emerge in motherhood, are uncovered inside our neighbourhoods, or become our chosen family.
Just Friends is an ode to the people that shape us. It is a book to devour on the beach or with a book club, a book to return to again and again, and, most importantly, a book to press into the hands of the friends you love the most.
320 pages, Paperback
First published January 31, 2024
32 people are currently reading
1843 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
November 18, 2023
This is a perfect book. Incredibly well-researched, thoughtful, and radiating warmth. I enjoyed every moment reading it and I highly recommend to not only read it yourself but to buy it for every friend in your life. It’s the love letter to - and meditation on - friendship that everybody needs.
June 4, 2024
“This book is not an end point, but a starting point. It’s a reminder that no matter how passionately you adore your friends or how clearly you see their worth, there is always further to stretch. There are always more promises to make. Even if you already love your friends fiercely, there is always more room to grow.”
I love my friends so much 🤍 This book was written beautifully, and so well researched. I loved that each chapter was a different aspect/component of friendships, some more applicable and relatable than others. What a beautiful, heart warming read
I love my friends so much 🤍 This book was written beautifully, and so well researched. I loved that each chapter was a different aspect/component of friendships, some more applicable and relatable than others. What a beautiful, heart warming read
March 18, 2024
I cried on a plane 👀
August 24, 2024
Like a warm hug, in book form.
June 19, 2024
I don’t really know how to rate non fiction but this was a really interesting, sweet, insightful read.
Definitely no page turner but still enjoyed.
Love my pals
Definitely no page turner but still enjoyed.
Love my pals
March 1, 2024
I’ve had my eye on this book for a little while, and now on the other side of the reading experience, all I can say is I am really disappointed.
Based on other reviews I had read and listened to, I was really expecting this to be a poignant and emotional exploration of friendship. Instead, I found many sections of the novel to be shallow and forgettable, and others straight-up boring.
That’s not to say that I hated it, I didn’t! But it’s just that my expectations were so high, that I feel quite passionate about how different the actual reading experience was. For a book about the beauty of friendship, this just felt so clinical, in a sense. Where is the passion! Where is the frenzy? The addiction of sisterhood? The wonder of kinship?
Some certain parts really made me reflect on myself, but overall I found that I learnt almost nothing, which is always sad to note when finishing a non-fiction.
I can see this being really useful and meaningful to a lot of people, but it just wasn’t for me I guess.
Based on other reviews I had read and listened to, I was really expecting this to be a poignant and emotional exploration of friendship. Instead, I found many sections of the novel to be shallow and forgettable, and others straight-up boring.
That’s not to say that I hated it, I didn’t! But it’s just that my expectations were so high, that I feel quite passionate about how different the actual reading experience was. For a book about the beauty of friendship, this just felt so clinical, in a sense. Where is the passion! Where is the frenzy? The addiction of sisterhood? The wonder of kinship?
Some certain parts really made me reflect on myself, but overall I found that I learnt almost nothing, which is always sad to note when finishing a non-fiction.
I can see this being really useful and meaningful to a lot of people, but it just wasn’t for me I guess.
September 5, 2024
“…But with all I know about love and about friendship, I can see that ‘just’ exists only to downplay the relationships that, for many people, end up mattering the most’
I loved this book, especially knowing and experiencing that friendships can be just or even more worse than a partner breakup!! We don’t acknowledge it enough, when friendships are so important in our lives.
I’ve highlighted too many things from this book that I’ll keep with me forever!
I loved this book, especially knowing and experiencing that friendships can be just or even more worse than a partner breakup!! We don’t acknowledge it enough, when friendships are so important in our lives.
I’ve highlighted too many things from this book that I’ll keep with me forever!
August 20, 2024
A solid read! I enjoyed the chapter about grief a lot.
January 29, 2024
Well researched, well spoken, very insightful.
January 9, 2025
2.5* for a book about friendship, this was so devoid of emotion and just felt too clinical. i’ve read more profound observations surrounding the topic on substack tbh. i think books like this need to moreso be a culmination of essays rather than these rigid formulaic chapters, but that’s just me. i appreciated that there were a few anecdotes, but most were told through interviews and the ones that were personal just felt like the reader was being held at arm’s length. sad because i was looking forward to this, but friendship is beautiful!
January 9, 2025
FRANDS! this was cute, honestly something I’ll probably never pick up again though 🫣 mostly I just enjoyed the anecdotes of the interviewees. unfortunately, I have heard the general sentiments being expressed here before, so I didn’t really learn anything new.
holly luvs her friends though and that will NEVER change 🫀
holly luvs her friends though and that will NEVER change 🫀
March 5, 2024
i love my friends!!! and love people hyping up the value of friendship and its importance in society and for our wellbeing <3
May 12, 2024
I love my friends
April 28, 2024
A sweet non-fiction, particularly when discussing a friend’s role in grief, and platonic love. Interesting to read about how the importance of friends in the cultural landscape has changed over years. Enjoyable, sometimes a bit slow. Would probably have packed more of a punch if I’d read it in a different place in life.
December 22, 2025
I love my friends so much and this book is such beautiful a reminder of why it’s important to make sure you invest time in your friendships. Would recommend to all
January 18, 2024
When you are a child, making friends seemed so simple. You accept others into your life almost unconditionally. As a teenager and especially as an adult, it becomes harder to make new friends, and even keep the ones you have. Gyan Yankovich’s book, “Just Friends: on the joy, power and influence of friendship” has done this topic justice and a half. Finding friends that match your different interests or connect with you during different stages of your life are just as special as having a best friend.
“Reframing our idea of what it means to be someone’s friend is the first step to bearing witness to friendship in all its form and, hopeful feeling less alone.”
Our world has become lonely with such a need to do almost everything online. The idea of cultivating and maintaining friendships for some can seem like an anxiety riddled task, and the time that we should take to really sit down and think about the impact of friendship and their deep impact on our very being. Friendships can make you vulnerable, and they can have both a positive and negative impact on mental health, and sometimes we don’t give them enough credit for what they can do in our lives. This book really made me step back and think about my friendships, and with the help of my buddy reader @thebookninja, we were able to ask each other questions to challenge our thoughts, and all of those “invisible and unspoken expectations” both in our personal and professional lives.
“Reciprocity … is one of the most important foundations of true friendship. And it’s deeply aligned with care.”
I ended up reflecting very deeply on those friendships that have lasted longer than my sibling relationships, those that I felt relief from their end, where I had been ghosted, when I had lost a best friend, where I hoped that just someone would once call me to ask how I was, and the emotional impact of reforming a friendship. Work friendships are just as tricky, and as you climb the corporate or salary ladder, the way in which relationships are formed at work can seem just as difficult and alienating. Thank you @gyanyankovichfor this wonderful book, and @ultimopress for the #gifted copy.
“Relatability is at the heart of most friendships”.
“Reframing our idea of what it means to be someone’s friend is the first step to bearing witness to friendship in all its form and, hopeful feeling less alone.”
Our world has become lonely with such a need to do almost everything online. The idea of cultivating and maintaining friendships for some can seem like an anxiety riddled task, and the time that we should take to really sit down and think about the impact of friendship and their deep impact on our very being. Friendships can make you vulnerable, and they can have both a positive and negative impact on mental health, and sometimes we don’t give them enough credit for what they can do in our lives. This book really made me step back and think about my friendships, and with the help of my buddy reader @thebookninja, we were able to ask each other questions to challenge our thoughts, and all of those “invisible and unspoken expectations” both in our personal and professional lives.
“Reciprocity … is one of the most important foundations of true friendship. And it’s deeply aligned with care.”
I ended up reflecting very deeply on those friendships that have lasted longer than my sibling relationships, those that I felt relief from their end, where I had been ghosted, when I had lost a best friend, where I hoped that just someone would once call me to ask how I was, and the emotional impact of reforming a friendship. Work friendships are just as tricky, and as you climb the corporate or salary ladder, the way in which relationships are formed at work can seem just as difficult and alienating. Thank you @gyanyankovichfor this wonderful book, and @ultimopress for the #gifted copy.
“Relatability is at the heart of most friendships”.
February 21, 2024
I went into this book not knowing much about the author or her intentions with what she wanted to say, I simply knew the title and assumed that this would be a deep dive into the complexities of platonic relationships. I cannot confidently say that this is what I read.
While it’s true that the book does discuss friendship, I would say it cast the net wide rather than deep, and this is where most of my issues lay. Yankovich relies on numerous anecdotal sources to inform her book, and while this isn’t objectively a bad thing (in the case of discussing friendship, it’d be impossible to not consider these perspectives) it does mean that the book turns towards a “self-help” type narrative over a critical discussion. At times, Yankovich seems to be giving/regurgitating advice on how to keep or make friends in the modern world, especially as adults. Again, there’s nothing wrong with this, especially considering how popular the disaster of a book ‘How To Win Friends & Influence People’ is (a critique of this book would’ve actually made Yankovich’s work a bit more intriguing by the by) but this isn’t how the book sells itself. It sells itself as a study of how friendship is perceived in society, arguing for a reevaluation and further appreciation for platonic relationships. This argument cannot be made or won through interpersonal advice.
To give credit where credit is due, Yankovich does engage with many academic or academic-adjacent texts that do, at times, bolster her argument. But again, she casts her net wide, teetering just below the surface, and the book never truly falls into deep analysis and complex persuasion. I think one thing that is truly missing from the book is a critical analysis in how friendship is depicted and written about in art and other cultural mediums. In his essay “The Good of Friendship”, Alexander Nehamas discusses how difficult it is to represent friendship within art without leaning too far into romantic or familial tropes, pondering on how to sit comfortably within the ambiguity of friendship. I can see Yankovich benefitting from a similar type of analysis, especially towards the latter half of her book, with an analytical focus on why platonic relationships are difficult to represent in art naturally leading into a greater discussion on the perception of platonic relationships in society. But the discussion never seems to run this deep, and the lack of critical analysis disallows for this book to confidently argue its point.
The chapter on grief and loss in friendship was the highlight of the book. It had a perfect combination of anecdotal and critical sources, with a focus on the real-world emotional impacts society’s lesser opinion on platonic relationships has. This is where the book’s argument was at its strongest, and where I felt a persuasive convergence of emotional and analytical writing that went beyond self-help. I am also conscious that the intense emotional core of this chapter could also be colouring my perception of the chapter, but perhaps this is what I was craving for the entire book. As I found the text to be lacking depth, the inclusion of a chapter with an intense emotional core seems to make up for that lack while simultaneously highlighting the severity of this lack. Every other chapter seems to be working with a weaker core, or thesis, disjointing my investment to Yankovich’s argument. The chapter on grief stuck out because of its strong core, even though the strength of its core was not necessarily in its thesis, but its emotional impact. Had the book had a consistently stronger core, be it emotional or theoretical, I would not have felt the same sense of lack as I did while reading this book.
All in all, this book is for those who wish to know more about themselves and their personal relationship with capital ‘f’ Friendship. No more, no less.
While it’s true that the book does discuss friendship, I would say it cast the net wide rather than deep, and this is where most of my issues lay. Yankovich relies on numerous anecdotal sources to inform her book, and while this isn’t objectively a bad thing (in the case of discussing friendship, it’d be impossible to not consider these perspectives) it does mean that the book turns towards a “self-help” type narrative over a critical discussion. At times, Yankovich seems to be giving/regurgitating advice on how to keep or make friends in the modern world, especially as adults. Again, there’s nothing wrong with this, especially considering how popular the disaster of a book ‘How To Win Friends & Influence People’ is (a critique of this book would’ve actually made Yankovich’s work a bit more intriguing by the by) but this isn’t how the book sells itself. It sells itself as a study of how friendship is perceived in society, arguing for a reevaluation and further appreciation for platonic relationships. This argument cannot be made or won through interpersonal advice.
To give credit where credit is due, Yankovich does engage with many academic or academic-adjacent texts that do, at times, bolster her argument. But again, she casts her net wide, teetering just below the surface, and the book never truly falls into deep analysis and complex persuasion. I think one thing that is truly missing from the book is a critical analysis in how friendship is depicted and written about in art and other cultural mediums. In his essay “The Good of Friendship”, Alexander Nehamas discusses how difficult it is to represent friendship within art without leaning too far into romantic or familial tropes, pondering on how to sit comfortably within the ambiguity of friendship. I can see Yankovich benefitting from a similar type of analysis, especially towards the latter half of her book, with an analytical focus on why platonic relationships are difficult to represent in art naturally leading into a greater discussion on the perception of platonic relationships in society. But the discussion never seems to run this deep, and the lack of critical analysis disallows for this book to confidently argue its point.
The chapter on grief and loss in friendship was the highlight of the book. It had a perfect combination of anecdotal and critical sources, with a focus on the real-world emotional impacts society’s lesser opinion on platonic relationships has. This is where the book’s argument was at its strongest, and where I felt a persuasive convergence of emotional and analytical writing that went beyond self-help. I am also conscious that the intense emotional core of this chapter could also be colouring my perception of the chapter, but perhaps this is what I was craving for the entire book. As I found the text to be lacking depth, the inclusion of a chapter with an intense emotional core seems to make up for that lack while simultaneously highlighting the severity of this lack. Every other chapter seems to be working with a weaker core, or thesis, disjointing my investment to Yankovich’s argument. The chapter on grief stuck out because of its strong core, even though the strength of its core was not necessarily in its thesis, but its emotional impact. Had the book had a consistently stronger core, be it emotional or theoretical, I would not have felt the same sense of lack as I did while reading this book.
All in all, this book is for those who wish to know more about themselves and their personal relationship with capital ‘f’ Friendship. No more, no less.
May 5, 2024
4.5
a love letter to the friends we have, the friends we’ve lost and the friends we’re too scared to make. So beautiful and well researched in its diversity and inclusion of how different friendships can come to look.
I want to give my friends a big hug now
a love letter to the friends we have, the friends we’ve lost and the friends we’re too scared to make. So beautiful and well researched in its diversity and inclusion of how different friendships can come to look.
I want to give my friends a big hug now
November 13, 2023
This book is just perfect. An absolute must read for this summer. Gyan is an amazing writer and this was so joyful to read. 5/5!!
February 18, 2024
This was an incredible read not just it’s diligent research, exploration of many different kinds of relationships without judgment, and the author’s ability to be present in the book but not the sole focus of it. It was also its ability to prompt deep reflection on the part of the reader. . For me this book was not just extremely validating as a single expatriate whose friends are the most important relationships, but it brought a great sense of nostalgia as I reflected on the many experiences of friendship I’ve had since childhood. This reflection is something I would take to therapy like a conversation piece! It made me see past relationships in a new light and look upon them with grace for those that ended more painfully than others. In my experience of reading the mark of great writing is the ability to elicit that response in your readers. I enjoyed every page and will now be placing my copy in front of all my friends like a love letter, because I want them to feel as content and wholesome as I do after devouring this book. I want them to know how much they are loved and that this book helped me see it. An incredible effort, particularly for a debut piece, by Gyan Yankovich.
March 22, 2024
“When I speak to people about their closest friendships, love is the undercurrent of every conversation. The more we love our friends, the more they can frustrate, inspire or disappoint us. The love we feel for our very best friends may be different for the love we feel for a partner, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less real or any less important.”
This was such a lovely book, it really captures so many different facets of friendship beautifully. It’s so nice to read representation of many under researched elements of this massive area of our lives, especially friendship breakups.
I’ve always been a person who values having lots of friends, and I love and adore these relationships deeply. I also loved the intersectionality in this book and the inclusion of queer friendships, and the complexity of that. Would like to read further books in this specific area I think.
“In other words, the people we choose to hold close really, really matter.”
This was such a lovely book, it really captures so many different facets of friendship beautifully. It’s so nice to read representation of many under researched elements of this massive area of our lives, especially friendship breakups.
I’ve always been a person who values having lots of friends, and I love and adore these relationships deeply. I also loved the intersectionality in this book and the inclusion of queer friendships, and the complexity of that. Would like to read further books in this specific area I think.
“In other words, the people we choose to hold close really, really matter.”
February 6, 2024
A wholesome non-fiction read about the importance of friendship, this book is an easy one to fly through at the beach. As someone who has lived away from my family for a decade and is perpetually single, you could say I do value my friendships because they hold so much importance in my life. There was a portion of this book surrounding grieving friends when they have passed away which I found wholeheartedly validating, how there is a lack of official support from workplaces when someone’s friend has passed on. Some solid points backed up with a heap of evidence and reading, this book never felt dry. This book is a great palate cleanser and worth picking up!
Thank you Ultimo Press for giving me an uncorrected proof for review!
Thank you Ultimo Press for giving me an uncorrected proof for review!
January 4, 2025
This could’ve been a great book. I love the topic. There were moments where it was a practical guide to being a good friend (great) or similar to Trent Dalton’s Love Stories, a few great anecdotes to understand platonic love through analogy (Amazing). But instead a lot of the book read like a lamentation that friendships aren’t valued as much as families or romantic relationships. It was assumed that since some disadvantaged groups don’t have access to romance or family, friendships must be as important and good. The book notices that social fabric is much weaker than it used to be but refuses to analyse the “death of the village” deeper than putting this entirely at the feet of capitalism.
Read for To Be Read Book Club
Read for To Be Read Book Club
January 15, 2024
Just Friends covers all aspects of friendships. Where we meet them, how we choose them, when they breakdown and when we lose them plus much more.
This book was perfect. A well researched, well written and very insightful book. I loved how Gyan shared her personal experiences throughout the book as well as interviews and articles.
This book reminded me how important friendships are and I found myself messaging a few friends to let them know how grateful I am for their friendship, love and support. I also took some time to reflect on where I’ve met my closest friends, some since school, others from workplaces and recently, through this amazing book community. Thank you for your friendship 🙏🏻
I don’t think I’ve flagged a book so much before! It’s definitely a book that I will refer back to and buy for a few friends.
Thank you to the wonderful team at @ultimopress for for sending me a copy in exchange for my honest review.
This book was perfect. A well researched, well written and very insightful book. I loved how Gyan shared her personal experiences throughout the book as well as interviews and articles.
This book reminded me how important friendships are and I found myself messaging a few friends to let them know how grateful I am for their friendship, love and support. I also took some time to reflect on where I’ve met my closest friends, some since school, others from workplaces and recently, through this amazing book community. Thank you for your friendship 🙏🏻
I don’t think I’ve flagged a book so much before! It’s definitely a book that I will refer back to and buy for a few friends.
Thank you to the wonderful team at @ultimopress for for sending me a copy in exchange for my honest review.
April 25, 2024
I really sat down and took my time with this book. Just Friends made me feel all the feelings: happiness, gratitude, validation empathy and heartbreak for the stories and insight shared within the pages. This book made me realise why my friendships (past and present) mean so much to me. I encourage everyone to read this book and just like I did, take the time to reflect on your relationships, you might just find new meanings for them.
March 22, 2025
Many things I already knew can be great about friendships as well as some new refreshing points. These included ideas on romantic relationships and work life which was unexpected but thoroughly enjoyed. A quick easy listen with good references from studies but not too bogged down with facts and citations. Enjoyed the blend of academic sources and the more casual interviews by the author.
Ps. I love my friends xoxo
Ps. I love my friends xoxo
February 6, 2024
This is the kind of thought provoking book that definitely made me stop and consider my own friendships and the wider place of friends in society and our conversations. Well written and well researched as well, it's a book I'll think about for awhile.
March 4, 2024
I <3 friends
January 1, 2025
Jan book club read! Read on the beach next to one of my besties - very fitting. Loved the discussion on the time required to create close friends
Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews