Geniile opuse. Introvertitii si extrovertitii care fac echipe exceptionale

by Jennifer B. Kahnweiler

Cartea Geniile Opuse este rezultatul documentarii mele extinse, cand am studiat nenumarate persoane faimoase sau mai putin faimoase introvertite si extrovertite, in cariera mea de trei decenii in consultanta, coaching si conferentiere. Vei descoperi de ce este atat de greu sa te evidentiezi in relatia cu persoane care nu seamana deloc cu tine. Vei descoperi cei cinci pasi esentiali pe care indivizii opusi, dar de succes, ii fac ca sa navigheze pe apele tulburi ale propriilor relatii. Vei descoperi si tu de ce sunt atat de importanti acesti cinci pasi, cum pot fi implementati si la ce solutii practice poti apela ca sa obtineti impreuna rezultate extraordinare. (...) Fiindca eu personal citesc doar foarte rar o carte din scoarta in scoarta, am incercat sa o fac cat mai usor de parcurs, dar si sa includ la sfarsitul fiecarui capitol mici rezumate si intrebari. In acest fel, poti citi doar ceea ce te intereseaza. Introducerea demareaza cu tema principala a persoanele cu temperament opus au succes mai mare cand inceteaza sa mai puna accentul pe diferentele lor si cand folosesc abordari care sa ii conduca catre rezultatele dorite. In capitolul 1, "Cine sunt aceste grupuri de doua persoane atat de nepotrivite?", vei afla care sunt punctele tari si cele slabe ale introvertitilor si extrovertitilor in momentul in care lucreaza impreuna. In capitolul 2, "Cum sa amesteci uleiul si apa", discutam despre genialitatea opusurilor care se atrag, un proces aflat la baza cartii de fata. Vei afla ca atat tu, cat si persoana opusa tie puteti "accepta ca sunteti diferiti", "sa renuntati la lupta", "sa puneti oamenii la locul potrivit", sa "treceti peste ceea ce nu va place" si sa invatati de ce "niciun individ nu poate oferi totul". - Dr. Jennifer B. Kahnweiler

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Business, Personal Development, Leadership, Audiobook, Communication

130 pages, Paperback

First published August 17, 2015

About the author

Jennifer B. Kahnweiler is an international speaker, executive coach and author who specializes in developing and coaching introverted leaders. She holds a doctorate in counseling and organizational development from Florida State University.

Her latest highly anticipated book, The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together (Berrett-Koehler, August 2015), offers a five-step process that will help introverts and extroverts understand and appreciate each other and work together to achieve more than they ever could on their own. Blending their two points of view allows both partners to see and act on things neither would have separately.

Her previous book, Quiet Influence: The Introvert's Guide to Making a Difference (Berrett-Koehler, April 2013), shows how introverts can harness their innate tendencies to make a real difference. As Kahnweiler proves in this book, introverts can be highly effective influencers when, instead of trying to act like extroverts they use their natural strengths. In a world where extroverts seem to rule, Kahnweiler shows readers how introverts can use their quiet influence to challenge the status quo, provoke new ways of thinking, effect change and inspire others to move forward.

As a learning and development professional working inside leading organizations such as General Electric Co., AT&T Inc., NASA and the national Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Jennifer deepened her knowledge and appreciation for introverts and through the course of this journey developed into an introvert expert. Through keynote speeches and seminars on the topic that include her characteristic humor, poignant stories and practical tools, she transfers the lessons introvert teach us across cultures. In recent years she has spoken to leaders in Vietnam, Spain, Japan, the UK and the Netherlands. Jennifer has also written articles about introverts in the workplace for Forbes, Bloomberg Business Week and The Wall Street Journal and has been quoted on the subject in over 50 international news media outlets.

Kahnweiler is a recipient of the 2012 Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation, The National Speaker’s Association’s highest earned credential and is a Board Certified Coach. She has also served on the board of the Berrett-Koehler Author’s Co-op and is currently on the board of the National Speakers Association of Georgia.

Reviews

[Andy Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jennifer Kahnweiler's book is a much needed reminder that the best results often arise from a partnership of opposites. She does a great job showing this reality with historical and contemporary examples. She also provides us with a five component model of valuing the other and together producing superior results to those we could have achieved on our own. It's as easy and memorable as ABCDE. She also gives practical advice on how to cultivate each component and work around common challenges at each level of our synergistic relationships. Highly recommend this book to introverts, extroverts and the ambiverts in between. This is a much needed tool for teams that want the best results and superior performance.

[K.n. Listman · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is extremely repetitive and tends to rely on emotional language to make the same points over and over again. It could have been one tenth its length and said everything in it. However, the author repeats unproven conclusions about introverts and extroverts, such as extroverts have higher energy, think faster, and come up with more ideas than introverts. All of which according to other research is not significantly related to extroversion.

This book is based on the study of a few anecdotal interviews with extrovert and introvert pairs that worked together rather than research. I found some of the instructions actually conflicted with the anecdotal information. For example, an introvert doesn't necessarily become more introverted under stress as the author asserts, and one of the stories actually describes an introvert showing more emotion (anger) when stressed.

[Becky B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kahnweiler writes a how-to book for business partners of opposite personalities of how to get the most out of their partnership.

I was a bit disappointed when I started reading this. It isn't exactly what I thought it was going to be. Since it was released after Quiet (a book I found fascinating) I thought it would share more depth in introvert/extrovert relations. There's pretty much no research shared, just tried and true patterns observed. I also somehow missed in descriptions that it was aimed primarily at business partners. I was thinking it was for any introverts/extroverts, and picked it up to read since I'm a solid introvert and my husband is an extrovert. To get to the point of falling in love and building a solid marriage, we've unknowingly already worked through most of the points in this book. Not that it wasn't reaffirming to see that we are doing things right. I do think it could be useful for me in the future as I oversee a student team of leaders, and going over some of the communication clues in this with a team of varying personalities that is forced to work together could help avoid potential misunderstandings. So if you work with teams or have coworkers who are of the opposite personality, this book could be helpful for avoiding misunderstandings and knowing how to use each person's strengths. I'm guessing most married couples of opposite personalities will have worked much of this stuff out on their own to get to the marriage spot, but those dating someone of the opposite personality could find it useful.

Notes on content: I think there was one mild swear word. No sexual content. No violence.

[John Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Those of us interested in leadership, learning, and human behavior have experienced a surge of interest and research around personality preferences and differences in recent times. A number of accomplished authors have written on the subject, with sharp focus on demolishing the myth that leaders are extroverts. Jennifer Kahnweiler is the latest and one of the most powerful voices reminding us that "different" does not equal "less than" or "better than", but that when we embrace, respect, and accept our differences, everyone can win for having done so.

The gist of this book is that both introverts and extroverts contribute value and inclusion provides wins for all involved. Neither style is exclusively better or worse for business, collaboration, or leadership, and each offers strengths and weaknesses, as does our attempts to play nice together, when we have different comfort zones. Chapter 8 is particularly useful, with solid reasons why collaborating across styles is good for business and a list of things to watch out for.

I always look at the index of a book first and I loved what I saw in the index for this book. Along with the expected personality-related concepts and terms are dozens of names and titles, reflecting the eclectic nature of her approach. In my opinion, this makes the book stronger ... when you go from Teddy Roosevelt to "I Love Lucy", Victor Borge, and Gracie Allen, with stops at Franklin and Eleanor, Paul McCartney, both Siskel and Ebert, and end up with Sheryl Sandberg, Susan Cain, and Mark Zuckerberg, to name just a very few, you have done some homework.

[Andrea Goeglein · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Genius of Opposites pretends to be a book about introverts and extroverts learning to appreciate and value the unique skills of the other so they can work together more productively.

I feel this book is really about developing compassion. The Genius of Opposites subtlety guides the reader to find ways to value their own, and others', way of being to achieve mutual goals. You may achieve outcome goals following the ABCDE Model developed in the book but the biggest goal achieved is raising the level respect you have for the way another thinks and contributes to your life. That is genius.

Side note: For those who use the DiSC™ Profile in their life and work as I do will find this book a great addition to your library. The ABCDE Model is easy to follow and can be adapted to work, social or intimate relationships.

[Brenda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Having experienced the misunderstandings that can arise between introverts and extroverts in the work place - I understand the premise for writing the book, and the intended outcome.

What turned me off from finishing the book, was the language used to describe the process the author recommends. "Accept the Alien", "Bring on the Battles", "Destroy the Dislike". That grates against other training I have participated in, where the focus is on eliminating personal conflict, and finding a collaborative approach. Listening skills are key, as is understanding the harm that can be done by using violence. Using words like "battles" and "destroy" introduces violence, which - in my opinion - brings more divisiveness, not less.

[Citrine · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's not that this book wasn't well written , it was just very basic . Written for someone who has never heard of the concept of introvert and extrovert . Perhaps an audience who is new to business management of relationships as well . Tons of examples to help the reader understand the difference between the two types .

I however , am familiar with the concept of introverts and extroverts , so the majority of the book felt like filler and could have been adequately reduced down to 2 chapters .

[Chip Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Understanding human relationships can be a lot like treasuring hunting. You are excited with discovery but the search can be an arduous challenge. The Genius of Opposites is your illustrated map for finding the treasure chest of personality insight. And, you will be delighted with what you will find inside!

[Karla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Straightforward book
Some decent suggestions on managing relationships with people
The end of the chapter questions spark through for personal actions
Not a bad read

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

When opposites attract, watch out for extraordinary results. Dr. Kahnweiler explores the whys and wherefores of successful opposite partners using ABCDE steps in a process she calls The Genius of Opposites. These are A) Accept the alien, B) Bring on the battles, C) Cast the character, D) Destroy the dislike and E) Each can't offer everything. You will see that there are many moving parts that form a "delicate dynamic" for these partners.

This process examines the strengths and weaknesses of partnerships. By doing so, relationships can become more vital and active with a focus on common goals rather than on the differences of each partner. And this allows the partnership, the whole of it, "to be greater than the sum of its parts."

A strength of Kahnweiler's approach is that in the review of each ABCDE step there is a section on the breakdowns that can occur and another section sharing solutions that can lead to greater success for the partners. This a short book and easy to understand and implement. For extraordinary results you and your opposites should learn your ABCDEs anew and become exemplars of the Genius of Opposites.

[Mart Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

So there's a quiz in this book to assess how well you work with your opposite. And I have to sheepishly admit that I scored in the lowest category, "Lots of room for improvement" (but just barely, so there's hope). Fortunately, in this quick read, Jennifer Kahnweiler shows us how introverts and extroverts can each each bring value to a project and enjoy coexisting. She cites examples of the known (Jobs and Wozniak) and not so known, which keeps it real. Even if you've read other books on the intro/extrovert subject, this gives practical tips on how to work together and underscores that very good things can happen when you do.

[Yvonna Graham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book in a Goodreads Giveaway. I found Dr. Kahnweiler's treatment of building winning teams by drawing on the strengths of both introverts and extroverts to be solid useful advice, especially for a corporate setting where people can be thrown together without much choice in the matter. Her point that great things come from introvert/extrovert pairings is true, and this book on how to work together would make a great manual for training managers to facilitate those positive outcomes.

[Richard Gombert · Rating 1 out of 5]

A disappointing book . A lot of feel good mumbo jumbo with no real substance.
I found it ironic that this book was trying to tell us how different people can strive to work together, and yet the book keeps reinforcing the us and them.
Two conflicting messages divide and work together.
If the author cannot agree on a course why write a self-help business book?
I was also amused by the subtle advertisement for other business books.

[Lance Willett · Rating 2 out of 5]

Short and maybe a bit simplified, it's an easy read and you can skim it in a few minutes. The basic idea is also common sense: learn from your differences, listen and talk a lot, work together, and share the credit for success and blame for failure.

If you can borrow from your library, you might get a bit out of the anecdotes, otherwise I'd say don't bother.

[Becky Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Jennifer's new book. It's full of practical advice and real life examples of introvert-extrovert pairs who have worked successfully together toward great results. It's helpful and easy to read. I highly recommend this book!

[Leandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked seeing the pairings of the famous introverts. That was fun.

I was hoping for more tools to help overcome some of the differences that arise day to day. There were tools but they seemed rather generic.

[Sara]

I was hoping for more

[Paula · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was ok. It doesn't say what her PhD is but I checked her LinkedIn and said her BA/Masters was in sociology & counselling and her PhD was in counselling. She says early in the book on page 2 that "relationships are most successful when opposites stop focusing on their differences and use approaches that move them toward results." I can agree with this. She focuses on the key opposite of those who are extroverts and those who are introverts. I think there is some value in that but also I feel like most people are in the middle, like how a Normal distribution looks like. I've only met a handful of people I thought were extreme introverts and a couple of extreme extroverts. Yes we do have a preference but most people are not extremes.

My other issue with these types of books is that no one person is identical so every person we meet, there will be some type of difference. To me it is necessary to have an attitude where we embrace our differences otherwise we would have no friends or alliances in life. I have introvert tendencies, however I can be with other introverts and find plenty of differences in how they think and see the world. We're all individuals so in every situation I will be encountering people who are different and it just makes sense to form alliances or at least be neutral. There are other opposites out there besides Introvert/Extrovert although yes I think it's a useful one to understand.

Her process for being in a partnership she uses the acronym ABCDE.
Accept the Alien
Bring on the Battles
Cast the Character
Destroy the Dislike
Each Can't Offer Everything

I think A, B, & E are pretty self explanatory. The Alien is basically the extrovert (if you are an introvert) or the introvert (if you are an extrovert). Battles means to not shy away from conflicts and embrace the differences. E is for realizing that no one can do it all alone. The E to me is just common sense. Like society basically is one large team with sub teams. No one is an island.

On page 67 she writes, "Cast the Character: Know each person's role in a scenario and cast them so that you bring out your opposite's best. Opposites share the credit no matter what role they take." Basically her point seems to be that even is someone isn't the star, that doesn't mean they didn't contribute to the group success. The examples she gave didn't seem to support this idea because it seems like the introverts are the ones doing all the work while the extroverts get all the glory. Introverts tend to not be glory hogs but extroverts are.

On page 83 she writes, "Destroy the Dislike: When you respect each other and act like friends you can talk openly and have fun." Basically her point is that if people have differences, they may tend to not like someone for that difference but she says to like them and welcome them. D seems redundant as that to me is what Accept the Alien is about. If we genuinely accept something, we are going to be open to it. May not like it but not liking something is not outright rejection.

The other thing that irked me was the author had her picture on the back of the book and she looked like a Stepford wife. She looked like a bird and the photo was rather creepy. This book was published in 2016. Her LinkedIn profile photo looks better so she doesn't have that creepy Stepford Bird Wife vibe going on. Note to Publishers: Pick appealing photos of the authors or don't use any at all.

[Mike Ely · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book about highlighting the opportunities for opposites to come together and bring out the best in the team. It could have used some more concrete examples on how to achieve this, trainings or exercises. There were plenty of examples when this worked, but not as many as to why or how this worked. Solid read though. I'll attempt to view and work with some of my coworkers in a different way and see if I can make it improve our team.

[Daniel E. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this book is targeted towards introvert and extrovert relationships in the workplace much of the information could be extended to i/e relationships outside of the office as well.

The books does a great job of celebrating the differences and dynamics of a thriving i/e combo as well as giving advice for i/e’s that may be struggling.

Recommended!

[Daniel Guglielmo · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m sure there is an audience out there that could benefit from reading this book, but it just wasn’t me. A little too introductory over the basic fact the opposites attract and can work great together - all set over a work/career atmosphere. Listen to an audio summarized copy, but still had a few nice takeaways.

[Timo Kataja · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty average. The basic ideas could have been summed up to 50 pages or so. The book is short but could just as well have been shorter, it falls to the same trap as so many American consultant books: Simple but good ideas get extended to try and fill enough pages for a book.

[Brittany Bernardi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super quick read. The writer has a habit of listing off examples that doesn't always feel helpful to illustrating the point, or feels repetitive. Does offer a helpful framework to look at work relationships through.

[Goutam Hebbar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Note: Read as summary.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is such a thing as too many examples.

[Robin Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent guide for learning to work with your opposite and creating the ultimate solutions.

[Tom · Rating 3 out of 5]

OK, but there are better books about introverts.

[LaBae · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

[Noor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good enough... Organised and structured but includes some repitition...

[Doodle · Rating 1 out of 5]

Correct but useless, stating the obvious.