Watch Your F*cking Language: How to swear effectively, explained in explicit detail and enhanced by numerous examples taken from everyday life

by Sterling Johnson

Let the squeamish beware!Watch Your F*cking Language takes a no-holds-barred approach to taboo words and expressions. It shows you how to use them to your advantage -- and have fun doing so. Building on the lessons learned in English as a Second F*cking Language, this book emphasizes traditional English swears as well as powerful (and hidden) expressions from other cultures and languages.Through numerous examples, it puts the real language of real people into context:FLOYD: I just heard a Dan Quayle speech. It was really f*cking confusing.RUBY: I just got back from a Mongolian cluster f*ck. It was really confusing f*cking.The name of the game is communication, and Watch Your F*cking Language shows readers how to hammer home their messages with confidence and gusto.Among its features:*Numerous examples of proper (and so-called improper) usage*An Idioms section that emphasizes the niceties of swearing*A "Need to Know, "Nice to Know," and "Forget It" system for identifying swear words*A Final F*cking Exam

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Reference, Language

113 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 3, 2004

About the author

Sterling Johnson--pseudonym of California writer Jeffrey Whitmore--is the author of the St. Martin's Press bestseller ENGLISH AS A SECOND F*CKING LANGUAGE ("Great f*cking book!"--Stephen King) and WATCH YOUR F*CKING LANGUAGE ("One of those rare smart and funny books."--Penn Jillette).

Whitmore is also the author of the 55-word classic "Bedtime Story" ("rather wonderful"--The Cambridge Introduction to Narrative, H. Porter Abbot).

He's a past member of the Writers Guild of America, West, and the San Jose (CA) Newspaper Guild. His cartoons (under the name "Roka") accompanied his weekly humor column in the Monterey Peninsula Herald.

For his novel DANGEROUS KNAVES, he drew on his Cold War service as a Public Information specialist for the 24th Infantry Division in Augsburg, Germany. The division was commanded by Maj. General Edwin A. Walker, whose military career was scuttled after he launched the infamous "Pro-Blue" troop-indoctrination program.

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were some nuggets of awesomeness throughout what was largely a mediocre - and relatively nasty - book. After having read his first book, I expected this one to expand in a good direction...i.e. creative and magnificent swearing. Well, it did expand, but mostly in areas related to crass & vulgar slang for various body parts and sexual acts. THAT might be "swearing," but I'm more inclined to call it nasty language. A good swear does not make you throw up a little in your mouth at the mental picture it creates. If done well, it is magnificent to the point of awe, and should rightly elicit a response of "WOW!" or utter speechlessness. The tripe that Sterling Johnson discusses in this book is for people who can do no better than parrot gross language about their anatomy and bodily functions.

This was (again) a great idea executed very poorly. It's base...and gross...and except for the occasional goodie, mostly definitely not funny. Especially...ESPECIALLY...if you have read the likes of Geoffrey Chaucer, Shakespeare, and myriad other phenomenal authors, whose awe-inspiring swears are worthy of any top ten list. Listen to George Carlin, a man who could swear with enviable ease. There are certainly others, but Sterling Johnson is most assuredly not among them.

[Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I guess I am a potty mouth because I know all these. 🤣

[Bryan Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

I teach English as a Second Language, and I'm not sure that this book would be appropriate for ESL students of any age/level - not because it's too dirty, but because it's clearly written by and for native speakers. There is very little guide to usage/context/grammar, and the jokes are made with native English speakers in mind, not learners. That being said, it's still a funny read, and it's interesting to see the regionalisms, and which words are still in use and which are anachronistic 20 years after its original publication.

[Zachariah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny at parts, other times I think it's made up, but enjoyable.

[Mel · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are so many lines worth quoting from this book, I just don't know where to start. I guess, I'll just share one of my favs (be forewarned, if you a lighthearted, or a pussy, this book is not for you):
*footnote: There are few women in the desert & camel fucking is common among traders who use the humped beasts to transport their wares. The practice has given rise to the following riddle:
Q: Why are camels called ships of the desert?
A: Because they are filled with merchant semen.

[Bill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good reference book for fiction writers or students researching a paper on language - particularly slang and colloquialism. This book concentrates more on usage than origins - and that's fine. I suspect the author wrote this to make a quick buck (cynic that I am) but I bought the book, read it, and spent the time to write this review. But, I didn't really learn anything I didn't already know from many years of drunken conversation in the corner bar...

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What did I learn from this book? I learned that sex toys are banned in Alabama. Interesting, because I used to live in Huntsville, Alabama where the opening of the first drive-through "romance" shop, Pleasures, made news.

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[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was okay. Interesting enough, but not a great work of literature or anything, obviously.

[Alexis · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny look into meanings of words and how in the blink of an eye you can go from sounding like a douche to sounding like a trailer trash goddess.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I kept this in my purse and read a few pages when I had some downtime. Very funny (just don't let little ones see the front cover due to the title)!

[Steve Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is basically a guide on how to swear effectively; I am from Essex, I require no lessons. Very funny though.

[Meena Rehana Somwaru · Rating 2 out of 5]

Funny book.