Sleep Well, Take Risks, Squish the Peas: Secrets from the Science of Toddlers for a Happier, More Successful Way of Life

by Hasan Merali

Toddlers hold the secrets to having more fun and living a fulfilling life. These are secrets we once knew and ones that a Harvard-trained physician can help us rediscover.

Terrible twos, temper tantrums, and grocery store meltdowns are usually the first things that come to mind when people think of toddlers. But pediatric emergency medicine physician and researcher Dr. Hasan Merali has long thought toddlers are among the best people in our society and adults could do well to learn from them. These extraordinary youngsters can be impulsive, yes, but with this comes a remarkable ability to take risks and ask questions—two qualities that can help us enjoy life more. Toddlers act kindly toward strangers, are eager to work with others to solve problems, and demonstrate extraordinary dedication and perseverance. These are all traits that many of us aspire to have in order to improve both our personal and professional lives.

To unpack this behavior, Dr. Merali includes many humorous examples from his experience as a pediatrician and father, but the core lessons are drawn from two decades worth of fascinating and surprising studies in child psychology and development. Merali connects these studies to research about adults to create the first book to offer adults important lessons that can be gleaned from toddlers. Toddlers can teach you many things, including how



Sleep Well Take Risks, Squish the Peas shows us how toddlers bring out the best in humanity and how we can, too. It’s a whole new way of looking at and learning from toddlers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Self Help

320 pages, Paperback

Published March 19, 2024

About the author

Hasan Merali, MD, MPH is an associate professor in the Department of Pediatrics, Division of Pediatric Emergency Medicine at McMaster Children’s Hospital in Hamilton, Ontario. He received his medical degree from Harvard Medical School and Master of Public Health degree from Johns Hopkins University. His research focuses on child injury prevention in low- and middle-income countries. He has published more than twenty-five peer-reviewed journal articles and his writing has been featured in Science, The Boston Globe, NBC, CBC, and Popular Science. Dr. Merali lives in Oakville, Ontario with his wife and their toddler daughter.

Reviews

[Jillian B · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book argues that in order to live happier, more successful lives, we should try to emulate toddlers. That’s right, toddlers. As in the tiny person in your home currently throwing a tantrum because their shirt is the wrong colour. But the author is surprisingly persuasive, and his arguments are actually backed up by research.

For instance, toddlers are more naturally attuned to hunger and fullness signals than the rest of us. When they’re no longer hungry, they will stop eating rather than try to clear their plate. That’s actually a good model to follow when it comes to being healthy! And though parents may be exhausted by the amount of times their toddler says no, setting boundaries is an important skill many of us lose in adulthood.

This was a super interesting read about the intuitive wisdom of toddlers. It will give you empathy for the toddlers in your life and encourage you to listen to your own inner child.

[Natasha Walli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Usually when you think about the life of a toddler, you imagine tantrums, terrible twos, picky eaters and sleepers, right? Did you know that we can learn a lot from toddlers, who Dr. Merali, a Harvard-trained physician and child health researcher, argues that toddlers are experts at self-regulation and their habits and behaviours could help adults better their own wellbeing.

In his book “Sleep Well, Take Risks, Squish the Peas” Dr. Merali uses extensive research, real-life examples, and humour to help us understand just how much we can learn from toddlers. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, and although the research was grounded in sound academics, Dr. Merali wrote this book in a way that is relatable and oh so very fun! My favourite learnings were:

- Saying noooo -my nephew is currently in his no stage! While sometimes it can feel impolite, it’s really asserting one’s own autonomy, something us adults need to reclaim!

- Learning through laughter and play- toddlers are always laughing, making friends and laughing some more

- Toddlers and racial bias- it was interesting to read about the research around while toddlers do indeed see race, they are still kind and help other

It was a special treat to hear nuggets about Dr. Merali’s own toddler, Arya. Full disclosure, I am very fortunate to know Dr. Merali and his family personally and I call them friends. They are an incredible family and have done a great job with Arya. Since finishing this book, I’ve found myself making connections back to it in my interactions with toddlers, especially my nephew Shah.

Don’t take my word for it. I give this book 5🌟 s but so do a lot of other people. Since its release, Dr. Merali has been on national and international media sharing his research and promoting his book to eager audiences. This book has received accolades, and I am not at all surprised.

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[Lisa Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

So this book explains how we can learn from toddlers so we can have better lives. There are so many studies, such as how toddlers help each other even without reward, even if they have already helped someone and gotten no reward.
The lessons are basic like that: be helpful, laugh, be overconfident. And my favorite part was the references that I followed up on. For instance, there was a study you can look up on YouTube and watch toddlers being helpful. There is a cool Ted talk about power poses. Anyone reading this who has time should check out the citations.
Thanks so much to NetGalley for letting me read this

[Melissa P. · Rating 4 out of 5]

🛌 Won in a giveaway 🫛

This book is very interesting and I loved the title. It's very true that most children are not afraid to ask questions or look silly/playful. When we get older, some of us lose this. I liked the comparisons and when they talked about the studies/experiments they did in order to analyze the differences. Maybe some of us would be happier if we just played more or acted silly once in a while. I know I do 😊. While I definitely enjoyed this book, it started getting a little repetitive toward the end. I only took one star off though and I am really glad that I read this. I would recommend. Thank you to the author, Hasan Merali, MD, Health Communications Inc. and Goodreads for my free copy. Happy reading! 👩‍👦

[Jiani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Evergreen Leadership Wisdom from Unexpected Places

"Sleep Well, Take Risks, Squish the Peas: Secrets from the Toddlers" offers a thoughtful look at how the behaviors of toddlers can inform adult creativity, teamwork, and leadership.

The author draws interesting connections between how toddlers play and how adults can benefit from embracing a more playful mindset. By referencing research from psychologists like René Proyer and Michael Tomasello, the book highlights the importance of play in fostering creativity and innovation, and beyond.

One of the key takeaways is that toddlers exemplify essential teamwork qualities such as resilience, clear communication, and inclusivity—traits that can enhance adult collaboration in professional settings. The book provides practical strategies for leaders to cultivate a playful team culture, including incorporating improv exercises and allowing time for unstructured activities.

Overall, Hasan encourages readers to rethink their approach to work by learning from the natural curiosity and creativity of toddlers. It's a refreshing reminder that valuable lessons can come from unexpected places.

[Woo Jeong · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe that Dr. Merali’s book is a refreshing and heartwarming reminder that we have already learned the best lessons of our life during our earliest years. What makes this book even better is the way he draws on research, humor, and personal insight to show us the way of living of toddlers that many adults have forgotten. Each chapter invites us to take a step back and reflect on how we can integrate the good old habits we had as a toddler. This can be done very easily with the help of the friendly, down-to-earth voice that the book talks to the readers. One thing that I was reminded of is to break character from a stern, serious adult, and play hard. Personally, I consider that the best part of the book is how Dr. Merali gently nudges us to make small changes in our daily lives rather than offering rigid, boring advice. This book is definitely a must read that I would recommend to anyone who would like to have a refresher of the unconscious toddler that we all once embodied.

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having been a toddler, raised toddlers, and now luckily enough interacting with a new set of toddlers in the family, I thought this book was fascinating. Dr. Merali pulls from decades of research involving hundreds of thousands of participants from all over the world (toddlers and adults) to identify key areas of toddler behaviors that could serve adults well were they to adapt them to the grown-up world. He infuses these studies with humor and humanity and makes a great case for paying attention to the little humans in our life. Highly recommended to anyone currently raising toddlers, interacting with toddlers or who was ever a toddler themselves! Thanks to Dr. Merali and HCI books for letting me read this.

[Katie Ryder · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic book! We can learn so much from toddlers. They emulate us to learn, but we need to go back to our basics and emulate them.

The author lists a lot of points about the way toddler's behave which can be beneficial to us as adults. For instance, having more confidence, being risk takers, being intuitive eaters, setting boundaries, being extremely aware of details and surroundings, and most of all having the curiosity to explore and question things in order to learn.

It was a great read and I learned how I can better help my toddler grow and develop by letting go of some of my adult tendencies and letting him lead the way.

[Gayle Parker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I attended a McMaster alumni author talk by Hasan Merali, a pediatrician at McMaster. I was intrigued by the premise of his book on how we can learn from Toddlers to a live happier and more successful way of life. This book has not only given great insights on how to relate to Paisley but also how to infuse some of her joy into my life.

[EmelineB · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very fun book. It sometimes takes too broad brushes to paint research results' implications for our lives. But it's a very efficient way to help parents understand their toddlers and embrace that part of life. The summaries of "toddlers' teachings" at the end of each chapter oscillate between being way too generic and useful advice.

[Shannon S-V · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book brings a smile to your face every page as you join Dr Merali in his joyful exploration of the lives of toddlers. He reminds us that their ability to say “NO!” Is a gift not a detractor, and that we have so much to learn from generosity and sense of wonder. Beautifully researched, it nonetheless reads like a story—perfect for bedtime winding down, another lesson from toddlers!!

[Sonia · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title says it all. This was a fascinating look into the world of toddlers. The premise is that they are excellent human beings with much to teach to adults. Recommended for all those who have toddlers in their lives, you will thank me.

[Sinead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just a really lovely book

[Bijan Teja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very well written and insightful! Lots of practical ideas backed by research, very enjoyable to listen to (I purchased the audiobook).

[Christian Gould · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of great actionable advice and a great new positive perspective on kids with plenty of studies to back his ideas. Despite all of the studies referenced, it is still easy to digest.

[Rebecca Sherman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected it to be more playful. Still a good read.

[Amber PhD · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved every moment of this book! Dr. Hasan Merali showed up at the perfect moment in my life when I was beginning my inner child work. In order to connect with our inner child, we must first understand their needs, dreams, fears, and passions. We also need to embrace their wonder, joy, authenticity, and sense of play. Sleep Well, Take Risks, Squish the Peas is a playful and informative guidebook for doing exactly that. I’m gifting a copy to my therapist!