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8 Keys to Forgiveness
原谅与否是个人的选择,是个人依据不同处境所做出的决定,但每个人或多或少都会为是否原谅而有所挣扎,很多寻求答案的人不仅因为曾受到的伤害无法自拔,也因为他们没有能力或者拒绝原谅而承受痛苦。本书从心理学入手,帮助你以全新的观点思考这些两难境地,阐述原谅能够带给每个人的益处,厘清原谅为何对你的生命如此重要。原谅心理学先驱、美国威斯康辛大学教育心理学教授罗伯特·恩瑞特博士提供了丰富的案例和练习,带你走上原谅和自我原谅的治愈之旅。
- GenresSelf HelpPsychology
292 pages, Paperback
First published July 20, 2015
43 people are currently reading
97 people want to read
About the author
Robert D. Enright
11 books26 followersRobert D. Enright, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. He is the author of more than 80 publications and has been a leader in the scientific study of forgiveness and its effects since 1985. His work on the subject has appeared in Time, McCalls, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, and the Los Angeles Times. He has appeared on ABC s 20/20 NBC s Nightly News and many other television and radio shows.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
December 15, 2023
If we believe the purpose of our lives is to leave a legacy of love, then we need to overcome the anger, cruelty and indifference we inflict on others. But how do we achieve a state of joy when these atrocities are inflicted on us? This book is your guide. It contains 8 "keys" that will unlock (clarify) why forgiveness is a powerful and necessary component to living a happy and healthy life.
April 28, 2016
This book is full of life lessons. One of the many things society struggles with today is forgiveness. The act of apologizing has been passed down from many generations. This book explains that forgiveness is more than something than just an apology. In fact, the author clarifies that the act of forgiveness is more of necessity for oneself than for the person who committed the act. The reason for this is that one will continue to carry the burden of the act and it will affect all of the fields in ones life. Although the journey may be difficult, it's essential for ones well being and luxury in living a positive life.
September 11, 2024
Robert Enright and Everett Worthington are two of the largest names in forgiveness research. I believe Enright preceded Worthington by a few years, but both have contributed significantly to the psychological understanding of forgiveness and what sorts of things can help a person achieve it. Enright's model is known as the Process model, while Worthington has championed a REACH model. They have many similarities, but there are differences, as well. Both have many studies supporting their efficacy.
In this book, Enright begins analyzing the reasons why someone should consider forgiving those who have hurt them. He explains that there are personal benefits, but there are many other benefits, as well. Along the way, he brings up multiple times that forgiveness does not absolve the need for justice, nor does it equal reconciliation.
While Enright has used a Process model, he is not explicit in using it here. Instead, he leads the reader to focus on the injustice done, being specific, both about the offense and the feelings that have resulted from that offense. Then, he asks the reader to attempt to see the offender as having value because of their humanity. If one can get to the place where they have some level of empathy for the offender -- understanding their hurts and the ways in which they have suffered, that can add something to this. He is careful to point out that this is not about making the offender into a good person, but rather to understand them in such a way that is easier to forgive them.
From there, he asks the reader to try to find some meaning in their suffering. The point is not to say that the suffering is good, but rather that it has changed you in some way that ended up being beneficial.
From here, he moves to an attempt to forgive the offender. Finally, he finishes with a discussion of self-forgiveness and some arguments against it and why he feels like it is beneficial.
The book has many stories in it that illustrate the path of forgiveness and many exercises that a person can do in an attempt to gain forgiveness in his or her life. Enright would say that it is probably better to practice forgiveness with smaller hurts before you move to bigger offenses and that if a person feels significant emotional trauma, that it is best to attempt this journey accompanied by a therapist.
I found the book helpful. My actual rating is four and a half stars. Some parts of the book are repetitive (this is often the nature of psychology books -- people dealing with emotional trauma need to do the same things many times to achieve healing). I would also comment that I am not totally convinced by his chapter on self-forgiveness. I have read enough on it to understand the concept and I guess my fear is that some people use this as a path to avoid doing the hard work of confession and restitution that they need to travel if they are to really feel forgiveness. If you have done those tasks and have received another's forgiveness, then perhaps it is reasonable, but I think most people will feel more improvement from confessing their wrongs, asking for forgiveness, and attempting to restore what was lost.
I would add that the book is not written from a religious standpoint. Enright does mention religion in such a way as to say that most religions encourage some level of forgiveness and that if you are a believer, you should use this faith to help you walk this path, but he thinks there are plenty of non-religious reasons for attempting to reach forgiveness. I would agree, although as a Christian, I believe that this is one of the big messages of Jesus' ministry on earth.
Highly recommended for those who are attempting to forgive or for those who are walking beside others who are attempting to forgive. The path is not easy and this book makes it clear that it takes time and effort but the end results are worth it.
In this book, Enright begins analyzing the reasons why someone should consider forgiving those who have hurt them. He explains that there are personal benefits, but there are many other benefits, as well. Along the way, he brings up multiple times that forgiveness does not absolve the need for justice, nor does it equal reconciliation.
While Enright has used a Process model, he is not explicit in using it here. Instead, he leads the reader to focus on the injustice done, being specific, both about the offense and the feelings that have resulted from that offense. Then, he asks the reader to attempt to see the offender as having value because of their humanity. If one can get to the place where they have some level of empathy for the offender -- understanding their hurts and the ways in which they have suffered, that can add something to this. He is careful to point out that this is not about making the offender into a good person, but rather to understand them in such a way that is easier to forgive them.
From there, he asks the reader to try to find some meaning in their suffering. The point is not to say that the suffering is good, but rather that it has changed you in some way that ended up being beneficial.
From here, he moves to an attempt to forgive the offender. Finally, he finishes with a discussion of self-forgiveness and some arguments against it and why he feels like it is beneficial.
The book has many stories in it that illustrate the path of forgiveness and many exercises that a person can do in an attempt to gain forgiveness in his or her life. Enright would say that it is probably better to practice forgiveness with smaller hurts before you move to bigger offenses and that if a person feels significant emotional trauma, that it is best to attempt this journey accompanied by a therapist.
I found the book helpful. My actual rating is four and a half stars. Some parts of the book are repetitive (this is often the nature of psychology books -- people dealing with emotional trauma need to do the same things many times to achieve healing). I would also comment that I am not totally convinced by his chapter on self-forgiveness. I have read enough on it to understand the concept and I guess my fear is that some people use this as a path to avoid doing the hard work of confession and restitution that they need to travel if they are to really feel forgiveness. If you have done those tasks and have received another's forgiveness, then perhaps it is reasonable, but I think most people will feel more improvement from confessing their wrongs, asking for forgiveness, and attempting to restore what was lost.
I would add that the book is not written from a religious standpoint. Enright does mention religion in such a way as to say that most religions encourage some level of forgiveness and that if you are a believer, you should use this faith to help you walk this path, but he thinks there are plenty of non-religious reasons for attempting to reach forgiveness. I would agree, although as a Christian, I believe that this is one of the big messages of Jesus' ministry on earth.
Highly recommended for those who are attempting to forgive or for those who are walking beside others who are attempting to forgive. The path is not easy and this book makes it clear that it takes time and effort but the end results are worth it.
May 11, 2021
Though I view forgiveness from a faith perspective, Enright looks at it from the practical and scientific. For me. it was how they lined up that I found facinating. From a position of non-faith, Enright gives the reasons and the pathway to living a better life by forgiving. As he points out, forgiving is about helping you not the other person.
September 18, 2018
If you've ever wondered how forgiveness works or what to do with the emotional side of forgiveness this is the book you need to read. Not especially Christian but good in the psychological aspects.
December 31, 2019
I have learned some things from this book!
December 28, 2022
Some things are repetitive. Otherwise, I would give it a 5 stars. However, it’s a good book.
May 5, 2016
A useful and helpful book covering the subject of forgiveness from a variety of angles: arguments in favor of it (and responses to arguments against it); strategies and tactics related to making forgiveness a part of one's daily life, and for applying it to the deeper hurts that one has suffered; forgiving oneself (and why he should do it); etc.
Contains a large number of exercises, thought experiments, journaling inspirations, and reminders all intended to be worked carefully and over as much time as the reader would like, so the fact that it's a bit of a short book is no measure of how helpful it can be if one puts his mind to it.
Contains a large number of exercises, thought experiments, journaling inspirations, and reminders all intended to be worked carefully and over as much time as the reader would like, so the fact that it's a bit of a short book is no measure of how helpful it can be if one puts his mind to it.
October 19, 2015
Robert D. Enright8 Keys to Forgiveness will challenge you and maybe even change your life. The opening sentence to the book is: "Forgiveness can save your life." The author then goes on to show you how. The book's exercises to help you forgive are worth the effort. This is rehab for a broken heart. Very highly recommended.
July 15, 2020
Opened a new world
Enright takes a new approach using his decades of research and numerous books, publications and appearances to teach the way of forgiveness. Each of his previous books have used his protocol from clinical, self help/practical, and philosophical perspectives. He again wrote from another perspective totally different and none the less amazingly helpful to the reader.
Enright takes a new approach using his decades of research and numerous books, publications and appearances to teach the way of forgiveness. Each of his previous books have used his protocol from clinical, self help/practical, and philosophical perspectives. He again wrote from another perspective totally different and none the less amazingly helpful to the reader.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews