The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative – A Practical Elimination Communication Guide for Responsive Parenting and Happier Infants

by Christine Gross-Loh

Imagine infants free from painful diaper rash, new parenthood without thousands of dollars wasted in diapering costs, toilet training that is natural and noncoercive, and, most important, happier babies and parents As Christine Gross-Loh reveals in her progressive, enlightening book, all this is possible and more. Infants are born with the ability to communicate their need to "go," just as they communicate hunger or sleepiness. Gross-Loh, a mother of two children who were diaper-free at eighteen and fifteen months, uses the tenets of "elimination communication," or EC, to teach parents how to identify and respond to their baby or toddler's natural cues. Unlike the all-or-nothing approach of some parenting books, The Diaper-Free Baby addresses three categories of full-time, part-time, and occasional EC'ers. Parents can practice EC as much or as little as fits their family and lifestyle. A support group within a book, The Diaper-Free Baby also includes inspiring testimonials throughout every chapter. Parents who have successfully practiced EC identify common struggles, share experiences and problem-solving tips, and provide encouragement for those new to the technique. Their motivational stories together with Gross-Loh's practical advice will appeal to all parents interested in a fresh alternative to traditional toilet training.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family, Childrens, Health, Reference

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Ricki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here's my conclusion after reading several potty-training books. I think that no matter what you do, there is a very good chance that potty-training is going to be a long time commitment and huge hassle. You can do the work in the beginning (EC, from birth to possibly only up to a year), the middle (early potty-training, from 6mo to 2 years), or the end (after 2 years). With my twins, I waited until the end, because people told me to "wait until they're ready" and basically they would train themselves. Well, the kids are a few months away from 3, it's been a mess of toddler power struggles, and they still aren't really potty-trained yet (one of them is still peeing her pants regularly). At this point it's obviously a mental problem rather than one of physical readiness, which is a bit aggravating because they have proved they CAN do it and for some reason now just won't.

But obviously it's an individual choice to decide when a person wants to put in the work of potty-training. Therefore, here are my recommendations:

If you have a new baby and are intrigued by the idea of EC, I recommend:
Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer - makes elimination communication sound very appealing, although a heavy up-front commitment.
The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative by Christine Gross-Loh - Explains that even doing EC part-time can show great benefits, and gives stress-free, practical ways to make EC fit into your busy life.

If you are interested in early potty-training and avoiding toddler power-struggles, I recommend:
Diaper-Free Before 3: The Healthier Way to Toilet Train and Help Your Child Out of Diapers Sooner by Jill M. Lekovic. I appreciated the scientific studies and medical evidence that supports early potty-training. I actually think this might be the easiest way and it's what I'm doing with kid #3. If it works for my newest bub, I will start giving this book out at baby showers, with the caveat that the author is totally wrong about cloth diapers. (She knows that cloth diapers with natural fibers such as cotton against baby's bum are conducive to early potty-training because baby will feel the wetness when peeing. However, she still advises against cloth diapers because she thinks they're a big pain and don't really help the environment—when in fact they aren't a big deal and hugely save the environment AND a ton of money.) But besides that, this book is crammed with good stuff and it's my fave.

If your kid is already 2 or over, I recommend:
Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki. This book described my toddler twins to an absolute T and really helped me. I wish I'd discovered it six months earlier than I did. It's very funny and for my children at least it was eerily accurate. Huge recommendation to anyone starting with a toddler—read this ASAP!

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who's already hooked on cloth diapers, I sort of stumbled upon elimination communication (or EC or infant potty learning or whatever you want to call it) by accident while visiting some cloth diaper-friendly online forums. I found the idea intuitive and interesting, and so did the hubbs. This book is great because it breaks down each infant development stage (newborn, middle infancy, toddlerhood, etc) for toilet hygiene based on whether you're interested in full-time, part-time, or occasional EC. Encouraging, concise, and full of great stories of success from other parents, this is a great book for any parent interested in expanding their horizons of communication and care for their babies.

Disclaimer: It is NOT a "toilet training" help book and in no way makes the method of ECing out to be about potty training. The basis of the book is communicating needs—just like a baby will "cue" when it's hungry, almost all babies "cue" when they need to go to the bathroom. Why not put a baby over a toilet if you know they're going to poop instead of waiting to clean up the sometimes explosive aftermath?

[Michael Clark · Rating 3 out of 5]

My wife insisted I read it well before we ever have a baby. I think it covers all the bases and describes well what "diaper-free baby" means.

You know, one of the major criticisms I might have is the very title of "Diaper Free Baby". I prefer the subtitle "Natural Toilet Training" because I feel like that more closely aligns with what is actually going on here.

Anyway, I read through the newborn and toddler sections thoroughly and found it to be pretty complete. I am not one to find quotes from successful users overly compelling, but I suppose that works for some folks. However, I do find the appeals to logic convincing--e.g. the explanation that this is how things are done in many non-Western nations already and how historically humans have toiled trained.

I also liked the parts that explained how to get others in your life on board with the philosophy. To me, convincing grandparents and other close people to understand why you're doing it and what it is can be difficult, so some guidance there was great.

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmmm...definitely intriguing but not too sure that I'm going to apply it. The concept is that humans are not programmed to soil themselves but we teach our babies to use the bathroom in their pants and hang out in it until we change them, so that when we start potty training them at 2 1/2 or 3, we are having to teach them not to go to the bathroom in their pants although they've been doing that their whole lives. The book teaches you to be in tune with your child's bathroom schedule/routine and to know the signs she gives when she is going. Then you cue the child with a sound and sign so that eventually, when you put the child on the potty and cue them, they will go. It focuses on communicating with your child and knowing her signs just like you know her signs for being hungry or tired. It is not focused on getting your child out of diapers at a world-record age. Also, it discusses how in many cultures around the world, babies don't use diapers and are potty trained at a very young age. Interesting concept, as I said.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really helpful and readable book that gives a nice overview of what’s needed to start elimination communication with your baby. Using the advice here and some online community help I haven’t changed a poopy diaper in two months and at the time of writing this my son is 8 months old. We started when he was about 5 months.

It’s pretty cool to be able to keep him fresh and clean, and I’m sure I’ll look back to this book for assistance as he gets older and our situation changes.

[Catherine Shank · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t read this book last time, but I read the other EC books. This one was great. Easy to comprehend and the refresher I needed.

[Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

A little preliminary research to see if I can huff it as a crunchy mom! Really enjoyed learning about this method, even if it doesn’t end up working for us.

[Dawn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some intriguing concepts, but it could have been a lot shorter. As in pamphlet-sized.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book doesn't break new ground, but it does lay it down gently for the uninitiated. If you've never heard of Infant Potty Training or Elimination Communication, this book is a great introduction for you. If you're curious about how you might go about trying it for yourself, this book is encouraging and full of helpful hints, tips, and lists of where to get or make the few essentials (a potty, training pants or baby panties, etc). There is a subtle humor in the book and none of the alarmist or conspiracy-frightened about it. If I were asked by someone to recommend a book about EC to a total stranger, this would be it. If I wanted to recommend a book about EC to someone who was convinced conventional diapering was not helping their child, I would suggest another...

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is 99% fluff. It has enough content to support a single blog post, and the rest is all useless rambling and parent testimonial after parent testimonial.

I read this book because I had an 18 month old (who doesn't really speak yet) peeing all over my house, and someone suggested that elimination communication was a wonderful, respectful way to help young toddlers and even babies learn to use the toilet. It's more like clicker training your dog, though.

The one thing I got out of the book was they do give a few physical signs that indicate your child may need to poop or pee, and that at least helped me some with our peeing plight.

Still, would not recommend it. You can find that information for free on google with a little bit of digging (I know, I did).

[Emilia P · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a friend who is doing EC and though I do not have anywhere near the discipline to do so exclusively myself, this book did a really nice thing by saying "hey, you can do this part-time like, even once a day, if you want! or less!" and also "hey, if you screw up sometimes its not a huge deal" and "this is about communication with your child, not about Training per se." So in general, I liked Gross-Loh's approach to parenting philosophy -- like, don't beat yourself up about it or try to do it perfectly, but hey? isn't this fairly logical? Aren't Indian grandmas on to something? Indeed. Maybe I will attempt this a little more with hypothetical infant #2.

[Lindley Walter-smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated that, unlike many parenting books, this isn't all-or-nothing. Gross-Lo provides three tracks to EC and a number of starting points, from never using a nappy from birth to giving a toddler some nappy free time and cueing once in a while. It's gentle, encouraging and nonjudgmental.

My major criticism is that, like most single theme parenting books, it stretches a little content a long, long way. It's heavily padded with anecdotes, true or invented. The information on baby wearing also promotes cross body slings while failing to warn of their dangers.

[Margaret Heller · Rating 3 out of 5]

Zero intention of making a lifestyle of this, but some very good ideas for a realistic approach to introducing baby to standard toileting practices. Throughout history and in many other countries (including China and India) the methods discussed in this book are standard practice, and the American way of doing things is the aberration. This is the lightweight offering in this genre, and you literally could not pay me to read one of the thicker tomes on this subject.

[B Zimp · Rating 3 out of 5]

A detailed text on teaching Elimination Communication. Yep, these are the people that have their babies use the toilet (just like the rest of the non-developed world). Written in a very compelling way that explain techniques, history, and problem-solving in a very non-judgmental way. My kids are a bit old for most of the recommendations, but it was still an informative read that offers ideas for early potty-trainers.

[Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a GREAT EC book. Parenting is so hard, I thought EC would be another thing that was impossible with an actual baby. But the author is great about showing how any steps are good steps and it's all about communication, not about results. I plan on continuing to use cloth diapers and I feel like there's still so much I learned from this book. I hope even awareness will make toilet learning easier, whenever it ends up happening for us.

[Mia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Offers good info for getting started from birth up to 18 months, but doesn’t discuss how to reach “completion” (potty trained). Glosses over potty pauses like they’ll fix themselves. Potty pauses and completion are literally one combined chapter.

[Sanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m glad I found this book instead of shilling out a lot of money for what seems to be the leading source for elimination communication how-to. Having only heard about it briefly as something a friend of mine did before she passed away, I was intrigued and wanted to know more. The underlying takeaway in this book, amid all of the super helpful guidance, is that Elimination Communication is all about building communication with and responding to your baby about their basic need to eliminate just like you do with hunger, comfort, and sleep. It is not primarily about your child achieving toilet training early. Throughout the book, I became more convinced of the value of that communication with my soon-to-arrive baby.

Christine Gross-Loh set out to create a guide that would be helpful to parents of all levels of commitment, whether just curious or wanting to practice Elimination Communication occasionally, part-time, or full time. The Diaper Free Baby absolutely achieves that goal with a supportive, informative tone.

Gross-Loh writes to parents who work and have their child in daycare or with a nanny as well as parents who are with their child most of the day. She also wrote to people who are starting EC at any point of their child’s development.

The first few chapters are some basic information about what EC is and beginning tips and tools. Then, The Diaper Free Baby has a thoughtfully laid out middle section where each chapter addresses a certain age range. She reiterates enough that you can skip to whichever chapter applies to you right now and learn everything you need to know to start elimination communication right where you’re at. It’s also easy to read all the way through if youre learning about EC ahead of time want to gain a broad understanding of what is to come on your elimination communication journey.

Overall, the Diaper Free Baby is a thorough guide on Elimination Communication that I enjoyed reading from beginning to end.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paul and I are trying this potty technique, elimination communication (EC) with our baby. So far, it's going pretty well.

We're hoping that taking our baby to the toilet will mean early potty training, but I recognize that the book specifically says that's not the point--communication with your baby before they can speak their needs is the point.

The book gets one star knocked off because about half of the content is quotes from other parents who are all like "we were skeptical or so-and-so was skeptical because of this and that, but then we tried EC and it was great."

Overall, though, I think it's a great idea, and I like the encouragement that you can just try it sometimes--that anything at all helps to maintain your baby's mental connection between the feelings in their body and using the toilet.

So, we're just trying by giving her opportunities ("pottytunities") to go, and hoping we catch most of her poops. Makes clean up way easier so far.

We also don't let her go totally "diaper-free," but have a cloth diapering service for now, which helps. Supposedly cloth diapers still feel wetter than disposables to a baby, so it helps them not to lose the connection between their brain and the sensation of going to the bathroom.

Hey, at least it's something to do when you're stuck at home with a baby during a global pandemic.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned about elimination communication (EC) from a fellow new mother on Instagram, and the idea intrigued me, so I decided to look into it and learn more about it. I was surprised to learn about infants using the toilet and wondered if I could do the same with my child. My curiosity about infants born with the innate desire not to soil themselves gave me the incentive to give it a try, figuring it could not hurt. The concept did seem to explain why she would wet herself during diaper changes, so why not offer her the use of the toilet instead of letting her make a mess? After a few attempts, my daughter did use the toilet at 2 1/2 weeks, and I think we were both caught off-guard! Since I already cloth diaper, EC is something I can easily incorporate because it will allow her to maintain her bodily awareness that may otherwise be lost using disposable diapers, according to Gross-Loh. Gross-Loh does a good job explaining what to do to get into EC at various stages of infancy or toddlerhood, although it does get a bit repetitive, along with reading the anecdotes from EC parents. Still, I would recommend this book to any parent or other caregiver who wants to be more in tune with their child and potentially rely less on any type of diapering.

[Katarzyna Balutowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read cover to cover to get the full understanding of what she is teaching. Do not skip to your babies age like I did. I missed a lot. It isn't bad book and it has a lot of advice. Yet more then half the book is quotes from encouraging parents and somehow I did not feel encouraged. I felt mostly like a failure because I did not understand what cues my kid could have or how timing worked. My kid does not go at the same time every day nor do I get a lovely display of pre-eliminatiom messages. All I get is the I am pooping face and the look a puddle face. It wasn't till I really finished the book that I realized this method is not for children 18 months and up even though they have a section for children one year of age. There are no examples of children learning at that stage. Plenty of examples of children mastering the skill at that point! So I will save this method for future children because it makes a lot of sense to me. Just wish they were clear about what they mean by a one year old...

[Karla Vann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been interested in practicing EC with our baby since my best friend started it with her son. This book gave me enough information to feel confident in starting when my son is born. It’s actually not a very complicated idea or method, which is a criticism of the book itself—it could have been half the length if repetitive quotes from parents were omitted (tbh I started skipping over these sections about 1/2 way through which made for a much more pleasant reading experience). I also just skimmed the chapters for older kids, and generally feel like the book was repetitive and could have been much shorter (or condensed into like 6-7 blog posts lol). Overall, I’m excited to implement EC because it really does seem like another natural process for my baby that I’ll have to learn, just like sleeping and feeding, and truly any reduction in the amount of diapers we have to use feels like a win.

[mraziyen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gives all around advice on practicing elimination communication with your baby. I first heard about EC on social media and was so intrigued because I didn’t even know it was possible for a baby to go to the potty! Since I didn’t know much about EC, I wanted to read a book that could give guidance on how to start this with my then 8 month old baby. The book gave me a lot of confidence to start EC with my 9 month old baby and he pretty much reliably poops in his potty once a day and pees in it several times a day!

The reason why I give this book 3 stars is because there is just so much fluff! I didn’t care to read the small excerpts on parents’ experiences with EC in every chapter. I also thought that the book could’ve further expanded on how to graduate your baby to being diaper free.

All in all, the book is a good introduction to EC but perhaps there are other books that do a better job presenting this practice.

[Betty Macdonald Saudemont · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review took me a few days to ponder. Why? Because this book was pretty life changing to me and I wanted to do it justice! ⁣
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If you’ve never heard of infant potty training or elimination communication I highly recommend this book. The author hasn’t got an all-or-nothing approach. She thoroughly explains that anyone can implement EC into their life and that the benefits completely outweigh the negatives.⁣
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I was mind blown by how logical and natural this whole approach is. You know when you find a lifestyle or philosophy and you tell yourself “This makes so much sense to me!” Or “This aligns so much with my world view!” Well this book was exactly like that for me. It also saddened me greatly to realise how far out of touch we have become with our bodies and their function! ⁣
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I am so looking forward to trying this technique with my firstborn and see where it leads us.⁣

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did EC with my first kiddo and it was a serious game-changer for potty training later on. If you want to have a deep connection with and better understanding of your child, elimination communication is fantastic for that.
This is the first time I've actually read a book about EC and I think the author does an excellent job in being positive and encouraging about all aspects of the process. This book also eases any guilt one may have about challenges we come across.
If you want to read all of them, there are plenty of parents' experiences throughout describing what they've been through. I found it too tedious to read most of those, but I'm sure it's helpful for many.
Still a great book for educating and getting any parent on-track for successful EC-ing.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I found this book when I was pregnant with my first

The first 25% of the book was captivating and I couldn’t put it down. As you keep reading, there is a lot of repeat information (which some people might like) so for that 4 stars instead of 5. The information is very useful and I’m going to try these techniques on my two toddlers. I so wish I had discovered this early on in my motherhood journey. All expecting mothers should look into this so they know they have more options.

[Carina Duffy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was curious about EC and finally decided to try when my third was born, but I found a hard time finding a straightforward guide until this book - I really enjoyed the way this book is written and laid out - it breaks down early pottying for each stage of infancy and gives a lot of grace and examples of how people do this. I still found it difficult to implement in some of the different stages but because the author is so reasonable in her approach I never felt bad or hopeless when it wasn't working. If you're curious about early pottying/EC this is a great place to start!

[Tabitha Cronk · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a single chapter of this book to convince me that EC (elimination communication) is just as simple and normal as learning your baby’s cues for hunger or tiredness, and to give me the courage to try it for myself. The book is balanced between detailed testimonials and insight from parents, and practical suggestions on EC for each developmental stage. I loved how the book emphasized that practicing this to any degree is valuable, whether it’s full time or extremely part time. I’ll be returning to it as a reference over the next few years as I put it into practice.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt like the author was my cheerleader in trying EC! She offers lots of advice for all stages and ages. I have an older mobile baby that I’d like to start trying this with, but am still concerned about the time and feasibility. I would totally recommend this book to someone who was interested in tying EC, but not your average parent. I kinda think most people think I’m crazy for even reading this.

[Shhhh... Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this way back when I was quite intrigued by the idea of my child just potty training himself.(This really does happen with some precocious, fastidious - both elements must be present - babies.) I remember liking it. But alas, my baby sat happily on the potty - even pooped! - from 4 to 8 months, listening to all of his books as we hung out amid the shower steam, and then as soon as he could - he started throwing his plastic throne across the apartment. We stopped soon with this after.

[Koalaj · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do like the idea of EC and diaper free, but I think with all the information the internet provides these days, from blogs to YouTube videos, this book doesn't add anything new.
The black and white pictures in it look like they are from the 80s and some experiences of parents that are printed sound a little cult like.

Still there are some great tips and what I liked most is that there is no pressure on you. The tone of the book is try it out as convenient as it is possible for you.