This Force of Memory: A Surgeon's Experience with PTSD and Addiction

by Noah Paine

Doctors fix people, right? They might get their hands a little bloody in the process, but they get the job done. At least that's what we expect of them.

But what happens when a physician breaks or become ill? Can't they just fix themselves? Is it even possible? Once a physician becomes ill or mentally broken, are they done, lepers for life?

This Force of Memory chronicles the spiral of a surgeon into PTSD and eventual addiction. It is a memoir of a physician who becomes an addict after experiencing the horrors of medical error first hand.

For a surgeon trained in western medicine it is almost incomprehensible that the current/best addiction treatment programs have a "spiritual" basis. But they do. This Force of Memory explores the medical/spiritual paradox that is the essence of modern addiction treatment. It is the memoir of a surgeon who, to his own surprise, discovers a healing mechanism quite removed from the operating room.

Genres: Memoir, Medical, Self Help

261 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 18, 2012

Reviews

[Casey Timmerman · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is half quotes and grammatical errors, at least on the Kindle version. While the author does have some insights into addiction, this book feels very self-aggrandizing and repetitive. There are much better options to view the world of medicine and addiction. I only finished this book to leave a one star review.

[Nichole McCullough-Noble · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having suffered with addiction as well, this book brought to light a new perspective of this devastating disease that I had never even considered. It also gave me hope even though I am clean and sober at this time that I too can rewire my brain and stay in recovery for the rest of my life. Thank you Noah Paine for having the courage to share your journey with the world! I pray that it helps other addicts as it has helped me.

[M J · Rating 5 out of 5]

I agree with the Amazon reviews. This is not an easy read, but hits the genre of "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance." Expect to reconsider your thoughts on addiction. This is an excellent book for those trying to understand addiction--in themselves or a loved one.

[Ped · Rating 5 out of 5]

A read that takes time and thought. Disturbing to envision this happening to a surgeon, but I guess it can happen to anyone. The ending and insights about addiction and the recovery process are philosophically fascinating. A bold memoir.

[No · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not the usual "funny" disaster story of addiction. While disasterous enough, this book adds a lot of insight into addiction--and a thoughtful take on one's relationship with God. Worth slogging through. Don't expect an easy read.

[No · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not the usual "funny" disaster story of addiction. While disasterous enough, this book adds a lot of insight into addiction--and a thoughtful take on one's relationship with God. Worth slogging through. Don't expect an easy read.

[Ashley Rosebeary · Rating 2 out of 5]

So incredibly repetitive. Multiple times throughout the book I found myself screaming "just get on with it!!!!"

I enjoyed learning this man's story. It was a good book conceptually, but I couldn't get past the writing style and execution.

[wmjohn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not an easy read, but worth the pages. Insightful look into addition from a physician's perspective.

[Laura Cleinman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting theory

The author is a physician who has been addicted to substances. He explains the "wrong thinking" of the addict and tells his own story.