American Honor Killings: Desire and Rage Among Men

by David McConnell

IN AMERICAN HONOR KILLINGS, straight and gay guys cross paths, and the result is murder. But what really happened? What role did hatred play? What about bullying and abuse? What were the men involved really like, and what was going on between them when the murder occurred? explores the truth behind squeamish reporting and uninformed political rants of the far right or fringe left. David McConnell, a New York-based novelist, researched cases from small-town Alabama to San Quentin's death row. The book recounts some of the most notorious crimes of our era.

BEGINNING IN 1999 and lasting until last year's conviction of a youth in Queens, New York, the book shows how some murderers think they're cleaning up society. Surprisingly, other killings feel almost preordained, not a matter of the victim's personality or actions so much as a twisted display of a young man's will to compete or dominate. We want to think these stories involve simple sexual conflict, either the killer's internal struggle over his own identity or a fatally miscalculated proposition. They're almost never that simple.

TOGETHER, THE CASES FORM A SECRET AMERICAN HISTORY of rage and desire. McConnell cuts through cant and political special pleading to turn these cases into enduring literature. In each story, victims, murderers, friends, and relatives come breathtakingly alive. The result is more soulful, more sensitive, more artful than the sort of "true crime" writing the book was modeled on. A wealth of new detail has been woven into old cases, while new cases are plumbed for the first time. The resulting stories play out exactly as they happened, an inexorable sequence of events--grisly, touching, disturbing, sometimes even with moments of levity.

Genres: Nonfiction, True Crime, Crime, History, LGBT, Sociology, Feminism

258 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 5, 2013

About the author

David McConnell has been writing and thinking about the written word his entire life. Self-taught, he created his own curriculum of ancient literature. His fictionalized memoir, The Firebrat, came out in 2003 and was nominated for a Violet Quill Award.
He is now working on a true crime non-fiction project entitled GAY PANIC: True Stories of Straight Men Who Kill Gay Men. He is also continuing a twenty-year project, an unfinished poem in an invented syllabic form, The Square.

McConnell was born in 1959 in Cleveland, Ohio, attended The Hawken School, Choate/Rosemary Hall, Shaker Heights High Schooland lasted a year at Columbia College in New York City.

While living in upstate New York, he published a literary magazine with Nora Wright, the poet Tory Dent and James Cheney.

Peripatetic for a while, McConnell lived in a white high rise overlooking Lake Erie, then sublet the painter Joe Brainard's Green Street loft in New York City, then moved to Hudson, New York, for a single year, then relocated to Paris, France, for five.

After returning to New York, he got a pilot's license and, for a short time, taught elementary math to prisoners on Riker's Island. He now lives with sometime Mississippi businessman Darrell Crawford in a West Chelsea townhouse where he has been the host of countless parties honoring his many literary friends and their works.

Read more about him at www.DavidMcConnell.com"

Reviews

[Richard Derus · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give 5 shuddering stars to AMERICAN HONOR KILLINGS at Shelf Inflicted (http://tinyurl.com/lyh4jzg). Discussing the high cost of delusion and the role of "moral" conviction; Akashic Books, this is a brave book to publish.

[Casey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A disturbing ebook with plenty of low-life behaviors. Not sure I'd recommend it, especially for a bedtime read. But it was hooky enough to get me to the end. In the daytime only.

[Jerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing, unusual insights, beautiful writing about a terrible subject. Not true crime stories, not validation of murder. A complex compendium of gay men murdered by the men that they loved and exploration of "gay panic" and how masculinity and rage are linked.

[Michelle Boyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

A true-crime book that examines several prominent murders that involved homosexual men who were killed by idiots that thought they had a right to kill gay men that came onto them.

McConnell begins by discussing the "gay panic" defense, which has roots all the way back to a paper in the 1920s that discussed "homosexual panic" (look up Edward J. Kempf's article if you're interested). Basically, this short-lived legal defense proposed that several men that attacked and killed homosexual men did so not because they were murderers, but because they had to do it to defend their own honor after gay men came on to them, or showed sexual interest in them. For awhile, many thought that this defense was used only by 'repressed homosexuals' but this was not the case.

The "Jenny Jones" case began on a popular television show (think Maury, Springer, Oprah, etc.) when a homosexual man came on the show to announce he had a crush on a heterosexual friend. Jon (the straight man) was so angry over the situation and its possible implications (that others might suddenly believe he was homosexual because another man had a crush on him) that he ended up killing his admirer.

McConnell also discusses the Williams Brothers, convicted of murdering a homosexual couple (1999). Matthew Williams professed that God told him to kill homosexuals, and/or that God's law is above man's laws... so killing homosexuals should be allowed. (What a disgusting human!). Ben (Tyler) Williams would later kill himself.

The Steve Domer, Brad Qualls, and Darrell Madden case is also discussed (2007). Darrell struggles with his homosexuality his entire life and ends up killing, once with Qualls (Steve Domer). It is a grotesque kind of murder where Domer was abducted, beaten, tortured (imho), and then killed.

The Katehis/Weber case is also discussed (2009). Katehis was a 16-year-0ld minor that on the side went on Craigslist and posted in the m4m section. He replied to an ad posted by Weber (who enjoyed suffocation play) and went to his home, where he then decided to murder him. Despite the brutality of the murder, Katehis was only given 25-to-life instead of the death sentence.

The book does a good job of shedding some light onto each of these cases, and discusses how certain groups of men (now murderers) believe they're entitled to kill homosexual men that show any interest in them. It is a type of honor killing, which I don't think McConnell actually delves into enough in his text. I would have preferred a deeper analysis of this. In fact, I very much expected a deeper analysis (the title kind of promised it, as does the book's back cover).

The stories/cases/crimes are all interesting and are definitely worth exploration. My issue is there is a lot of author commentary throughout the text and it would have been nice to see more factual evidence of certain things. While McConnell is not a journalist, I do often expect to have source material (citations, end notes, a bibliography, something!) at the end of true crime books. Here we don't get that so sometimes it is hard to interpret where information is coming from. I don't mind speculation by authors, but I expect to be able to tell what is their words and what belongs to documents, witnesses, interviewees, etc.

Overall, right in the middle. 3 stars.

[AMELIA O'REILLY · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beautiful style of writing and undoubtably a lot of effort went into this, but I’m unsure if it really accomplished what it set out to do. Investigating men who killed other men and used the “gay panic” defence, and discussing that as a form of “honor killing” seemed like an interesting subject to me (in terms of the psychology) but I’m not really sure if many of the cases discussed actually fit this narrative? The concluding chapter was beautiful, but a lovely conclusion that claims you said a lot of things throughout the book does not make it so. I would’ve loved a more in depth analysis of the link between rage, masculinity and the perception of others but it didn’t quite hit the mark.

[Tom Schulte · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hear my interview with the author on Podomatic.

McConnell takes from what would be called homosexual "hate crimes" or "gay panic" to an attempt to find how a distorted "honor" became the departure point to such violence. It seems an overt or possibly latent homosexuality is the commonality to the killers from the infamous Jenny Jones case which was a big deal up here in Michigan to John Katehis, part-time John, one-time killer. In the journey, McConnell admits to seeking "pure masculinity enraged". I am not sure if that is what he found, or if even he is, but I respect that in the annals of true crime assailed ("assay-led"?) the subject like an ardent researcher and truth-seeker.

[David Swatling · Rating 5 out of 5]

"If hatred can come before hating, murder can come before killing." Chilling nonfiction in the tradition of In Cold Blood. McConnell investigates several cases involving the murder of gay men between 1995 and 2007 in a brilliant mix of journalistic and literary prose. Although I have a problem with his appropriation of the title's term "honor killings" (even though he questions its use himself at the end of the book), the issues and perspectives he raises are often unexpected and always compelling. Some of the violence detailed is graphic, but the book never stoops to lurid sensationalism. It is a philosophical exploration of why men kill men in cases all too patently swept together these days within the increasingly ubiquitous heading of "hate crime."

[Karla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I learned quite a bit from this. By calling these murders of gay men honor killings, the author is making a connection between these killings and family murders that we are more familiar with from very traditional societies. He details a few different cases, which were very interesting. I think I would have liked more details about the big picture and more analysis of the causes from a sociology viewpoint.

[Bryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Literate true crime. Nancy Grace meets Eve Kosofsky Sedgewick.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Challenge 2018 - Book Riot: book of true crime. An interesting read about men who are worried for their "honor" of considered being gay and kill because of it. I remember the Jenny Jones case where a straight man is embarrassed when a gay friend admits his feelings for him on national television, the result being he kills the gay man. It seems that the author is trying to convince the read that the reason these men kill is because they question their own sexuality and need to prove they are not indeed gay. The graphic killings seem to be based in an inherent need to reassert themselves and "prove" their sexuality by killing what possibly could have been an object of desire initially. The "gay panic" defense seems to fall on deaf ears in most cases these days as defending ones honor does not merit homicide. I think that the disturbed psychosis of each killer must be analyzed and taken into consideration before the idea of sexuality be included. The book brought to light answers for the questions I had about each case, making me doubt I could sit on a jury and pronounce with "reasonable doubt" that the killers did it because of lost honor. They were killers, simply put, and need to be punished.

[Brandon Will · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to put this down partway through, it's so unpleasant. I almost didn't even pick it back up. In that time, I processed how important of a document this is. Living in more liberal areas for years (and not leaving the house as much since becoming my Mom's caregiver), I've been able to breathe in less of this specific dread. But this is a part of the queer experience: knowing some would take your life because of where your attractions lie. And it's still a harsh, real and felt everyday dread for so many. This book presents a number of cases, plainly yet grippingly, and doesn't so much draw conclusions as it draws overlapping realities and patterns.

I do wonder what a straight person would take away from this book, and hope that many read it.

[Lauren Salisbury · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to appreciate this book more than I did. There was something about the writing that I found unengaging and inaccessible. It felt like the narratives about each victim and assailant were bogged down in almost too much detail. I was so interested in McConnell's initial objective to understand or at the very least analyze where the motivation comes from for homicides like these, but I did not feel like the analysis came to fruition.

[Elbrozzie]

Vivid writing. So vivid that I had nightmares, BUT, aside from learning quite a bit about white supremacy, I was not at all clear what the author's thesis was. Felt like I was dragged through a chamber of horrors for reasons that were not in the least clear.

[R.J. Gilmour · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was intrigued by the title hoping that the book would be an analysis of men murdering other men in the name of homophobia. However, the book is more "true crime" than analysis as McConnell details the events of particular crimes while interviewing those involved. Sadly, this approach is more sensationalistic than informative.

[Gingy Gibson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting introduction to a number of cases, but the author's personal conjectures and opinions all too often bleed into the narrative.

[Rob Slaven · Rating 4 out of 5]

Firstly and foremost, I won this book in a drawing from LibraryThing. Despite the fact that I didn't pay a dime for it, I will give it a candid assessment below.

So this is the bit in which I traditionally summarize the plot, and I'll admit this book wasn't what I expected. When I hear the phrase "honor killings" I expect traditional murders to safeguard the reputation of the family. The murderous rampages described here are plain and simple hate crimes. This does nothing to diminish them or their importance, certainly, but reading this book I did have trouble correlating the title with the content. Our author describes at length, and with absolute candor, the act of killing because of prejudice against race, religion and primarily, sexual orientation. The work is an incisive view into the odious act of hating and destroying someone just because of the demographic into which they fall. Or, to put it more simply, these are the truly scary people with which we share society.

Evaluating this book, on the positive side the author has done us a great service. He's shielded us from nothing. No detail or nuance is hidden and his research is intimate and complete. We see these heinous acts from the inside of the killer's head and from the outside as viewed by the world in general.

On the negative side, I'll admit that I just couldn't carry on reading this whole thing. By the halfway point I felt that I'd fairly well "gotten the point" as it were. The killers are heartless bigots motivated by hate and fortified by misplaced religious beliefs. A hundred or so pages of that seemed sufficient. I didn't need more text to back up my support of the author as I was solidly and convinced from the beginning.

In summary, this book is a meticulously researched and insightful view into the mind of those that hate to the point of murder. If it suffers, it suffers only from the fact that I agree with it so vehemently and don't really need more examples to fortify my dislike for religious zealotry. An excellent work that I just couldn't finish because it resonated far too strongly.

PS: It is my endeavor to provide reviews that are succinct, honest, balanced and above all help the potential reader to answer the simple question, “Do I want to read this or not?” Any feedback you can provide about how you feel I have accomplished those goals (or not) is immensely appreciated.

[Steven · Rating 2 out of 5]

Along with several other readers, I can see the parallels between this book and Truman Capote's In Cold Blood. But whereas Capote's book did such a good job of exploring the lives and motivations of both victims and perpetrators, McConnell's book doesn't quite hit the mark.

McConnell does bring a novelist's eye (or maybe, in the context of this book, the eye of a short story writer) to these cases of gay men and their murderers, but the writing focuses way more on the criminals. McConnell wants to get at the motivations and find patterns, but the sense I got at the end was that it was all so senseless. Which I kind of knew getting into this. At the end, I didn't feel I'd learned much about these men.

At times, I thought McConnell spent too much time focusing on weird details (like the age of buildings) or made what seemed to me to be rather unkind personal comments about people's appearance. Also, the author seemed to enjoy corresponding with and being a part of these criminals'lives in a way that seemed overly lurid and sensational.

I've often commented on reviews that it's not fair to judge a work because it didn't meet my expectations. And this didn't. But I also didn't care for this book's tone. These are sad stories that need to be told, but perhaps in a more measured way.

[n · Rating 1 out of 5]

Note: Book really has 253 pages, so it annoys me that Goodreads hasn't fixed this.

I'd probably give this an actual 2.5 stars, but I can't honestly give it 3 on rounding. I'm really quite disappointed with it in relation to the subtitle. I expected a lot more conversation about how toxic masculinity leads to the sorts of murders that were addressed, but that was barely addressed. There was a lot of questionable elements that made it hard to read.

When he was discussing the murder of a might-be-gay boy, Steven "Scooby" Parrish, I felt there was something missing. He lacked the nuance about how there are even more difficulties for African-American (Black) boys because of the assumption that, within the community, they are supposed to be even more masculine; I have seen this addressed numerous times by people I follow on Twitter, talking about how much more difficult it is to be a queer person of colour because of the intersections. In specific, he needed to discuss this in ways that queer Black activists have been discussing for decades; he missed that opportunity.

I also found it discomforting that he referred to antisemitism as something only found in the middle class, which it isn't.

There are a lot of aspects of this book that I found troubling, honestly.

[T-bone · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure why this book was on my to read list - I had no clue what it was about until I got started. I assumed it would be about men killing women, but it turned out to be about men killing men, specifically, killing gay men, or at least men the murderers perceived to be gay. My qualifier about perceived gay men hints at the book's main point: that crimes typically grouped together as hate crimes, or gay panic crimes, or repressed gay man kills openly gay men crimes, are often more complex than the labels applied. I don't know much about murders of gay men, but I do know a weak argument when I see one - having put forward so many myself - and this is a pretty unremarkable argument. The author freely admits that the book doesn't have a thesis - he just wants to preserve the details of these crimes. In that case I think it may have been better to examine one case in detail instead of describing half a dozen or so murders in one reasonably short book. There is not enough detail to become truly invested in any one case and there are not enough cases to recognise similarities or patterns in the different crimes. In the end it seemed like a true crime short story collection. Still not a bad read for sad individuals like me who like to read about sex and violence.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very very interesting book about murders of men (perceived to be gay) by other men. The cases described by the author are fascinating.

McConnell doesn't go very far, however, in figuring out what the cases have in common and what that says about American culture, masculinity, etc. He says at the outset that he's not going to do that.

I think it would have been a stronger book if he'd gone out on a limb, formulated an argument and defended it - made this a book about something larger, instead of a collection of true crimes. He was almost there, but he didn't take that extra step. Nevertheless, worth reading.

[Alnora1227 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This a very odd, strangely compelling book that looks at several killings of gay men and gay couples by their heterosexual assassins. Through interviews and media resources the author researches the motivations behind the murders. He draws a troubling, though broad, connection between the killers' fear, be it real or imagined, that they might be thought of as gay and the killers' decisions to use guns as a form of retribution.

Each case study has it's own chapter and the varied perpetrators, mostly young men, mostly Caucasian, present a diverse group.

A deceptively slim volume that packs a larger punch and stays with you for a while.

[Patrick Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bone-chilling, important, and exquisitely written. You'll cringe because the stories are real, but McConnell is a master at showing us and commenting on what happened in a way that's both non-intrusive and expansive. If you liked IN COLD BLOOD (and who didn't?) and if you liked INTO THE WILD, you should read this book.

[Molly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I liked the premise of this book, however the presentation was crude. The writer too often offered his own opinion as to what a victim or suspect was thinking. Also, the style was at times childish and took me out of the flow of reading. McConnell offered his opinion on things often enough that I started to think more about what he thought than the actual content of the book.

[Marcos · Rating 3 out of 5]

An overall interesting book about the rage behind several killings involving victims and young perpetrators. I don't think that honor killing is the perfect term but its use is based on the idea that these men killed to honor not their families but masculinity or their twisted idea of what it is.

[Stacie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a fantastic read. A non-fiction book that's written in narrative style - it kept me reading to find out what happened in each of the shorter stories that make up the larger book.

[Sharon]

I don't like narrative non-fiction. I read as much as I could.... The cases were interesting, but I just don't like narrative non-fiction.