How to Raise a Gentleman Revised and Updated: A Civilized Guide to Helping Your Son Through His Uncivilized Childhood

GentleManners Books

by Kay West

Somewhere amid the tangle of video game controllers and muddy sneakers, there’s a nice boy. And somewhere within that nice boy is a gentleman just waiting to emerge. For at least eighteen years, you’ll have the pleasure of coaxing him out, little by little. You’ll make sure he knows how to act at a formal dinner, and you’ll explain to him that answering a telephone should never involve the words “yeah” or “hang on.” And eventually, you’ll be confident that he can react maturely when his team loses in overtime or when he meets a girl he likes. He’ll know which fork to use, how to dress on an airplane, and when it’s appropriate to speak up for himself and others. Let Kay West guide you through his  transformation from boy to gentleman, and watch his young life flourish.  

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Reference, Self Help, Family

129 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2001

Reviews

[Zak Boston · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit light on instruction and a bit heavy on description, but entertaining and some quality advice throughout

In the modern age of men who are not gentlemen and women who are not ladies, this reminder of basic decorum is well put

Some highlights

Be consistent

Do not give in to temper tantrums
If the tantrum is public, take him to another room or outside
Do not respond with similar behavior, do not hit him to stop him from hitting
Do your best to not raise your voice in anger
If you lose your temper with your child, apologize
Accept apologies gracefully and quickly

Do not correct other children on their manners
Correct in private, celebrate in public

Do not promise rewards for good behavior, instead give a treat upon a successful episode

Give your son tasks and involve him in decisions to the degree he is physically or mentally able as soon as he is able and no sooner

Let your child know when a discussion has become a decision

Be a gracious loser and a generous winner
Do not respond to rudeness with rudeness

Give more than you are asked
Take less than you need
Leave a place nicer than you found it

[Mark McElreath · Rating 2 out of 5]

"How to Raise a Gentleman" points out what should be clear and accepted behavior for young men. From navigating sports fields to written correspondence, West covers key events and skills every young gentleman should seek to master. The work does feel redundant, as many of these lessons are universally understood, but in a day where common sense is not so common, it may be best that it is written down.

[Karisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

A thorough, humorous guide to raising gentlemen. My only beef is that the author only had one son! And when she wrote this, her son was still young, so the jury wasn't out yet on whether he'd become a gentleman or not. I think the book would've had more power if it had been written by a veteran mom who'd successfully raised several boys into gentlemen. This book captured the image of WHAT a young gentleman looks and acts like, but I was often frustrated wanting answers about HOW to make that happen. Agency is in play, unfortunately-- I could talk to my 3 boys until I'm blue in the face about what a gentleman does, but since that isn't their goal, they could care less.

[B-right · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a gentleman, I must thank the writer for putting together these honorable pieces.
When I started, I first taught it was a book meant for kids and not for grown up singles like me but have made me more a gentleman as I practice some few tips from it.
Am now on my way to getting 'how to raise a lady' since I will soon be a father.
Thank you Mrs. West.

[Trace · Rating 3 out of 5]

With my highlighter in hand, I've underlined lots of areas where I can see my son will need a bit more practice in.

I felt that this book was filled with examples of gentlemanly behaviors but a bit short on practical suggestions for practice and implementation... Still - I think it will prove to be useful to our family.

[Daryl Ngo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A manual that every adult needs to read because not only children could learn from this but adults too. Whether you're planning to be a parent or not, this is 101.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is largely helpful, if rather succinct, advice on raising a child to have good manners. To be honest, very little of it has to do with that child being male; it’s worthwhile for any human. It seems more relevant for a younger child, but it can still be helpful for any parent. West manages to keep all her talk and advice about proper manners grounded in real life.

[DaShannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book about etiquette and manners to impart to our sons. It includes information for toddlers as well as older sons. Dining, friends, girlfriends, culture, social interactions, sportsmanship, and lots of other areas are covered.

[Tuấn Ngô · Rating 5 out of 5]

To my son: read it, boy.

[Elena · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book on manners and comportment, this book goes into various topics such as teaching the basics (please, thank you, excuse me; using Sir, Miss, etc) to proper introductions, greetings, and leavings, to respectful behavior while in public areas, the ins and outs of playdates, sleepover, and birthday party manners, dining out, traveling, telephone manners, good sportsmanship, written correspondence (thank you cards), and temper tantrums. There are some helpful tips and overall good recommendations for training your son to be a respectful gentleman. I didn't get way too much out of it because most of the book included topics addressed in a similar book I read last fall (that I preferred to this one) called Connoisseur Kids by Jennifer Scott. I felt like that book was a bit more practical for the younger years that I find myself with my son and included a ton of fun activities to help teach the manners whereas this book just felt like a long, tedious list of dos and don'ts with a bit of a snobbish feel to it that rubbed me the wrong way at times.

Rating: G

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book with the impression that it would be a more in-depth look at teaching young boys the ways of being a gentleman, but realistically this book was very, very fundamental. For anyone who is interested in etiquette, even if only remotely, these fundamentals would have not only been taught already, but known. Therefore, this book may be best suited primarily for those who are incredibly new to etiquette and manners. I gave it three stars because much of my review is more subjective. Objectively, the layout of the book was disappointing. It reminded me of a spelling bee: each chapter summarizes it's points, then [briefly] elaborates them, then spells them out in bullets again at the end. Subjectively again? I think this book would serve better as a child's book, rather than as a parenting book.

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I couldn't tell at times if the author was trying to be funny or if she was just a little uptight about what she considered to be polite behavior. It was interesting to read though, and I learned a couple things that I didn't know before.

[Edy Gies · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was very instructiveand full of good ideas and information. The author came across as quite pretentious at times, but I still would recommend it to anyone looking for a comprehensive manners guide for young men.

[Samantha Penrose · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most everything in this book is fairly obvious, and essentially boils down to one simple rule; The Golden Rule.
Decent tips are offered to parents for helping your son maintain his gentlemanly behavior in especially tough situations, such as, waiting rooms, airplanes, restaurants, etc.

[Hope]

I haven't finished this yet. It's good so far.

[Lisa]

my parents gave me this for christmas, how bizarre, but i think i'll read it anyways.

[Cheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very comprehensive book. Well written, easy to read. Wish I would have had this for my boys not just my grandson!

[Lisa]

How To Raise A Gentleman A Civilized Guide To Helping Your Son Through His Uncivilized Childhood by Kay West (2001)

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will take any help I can get!

[Toyka]

Excellent ... must read for anyone desiring to raise a gentlemen.

[Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hooray! I'm already practicing 85-90% of this book. Perhaps we need to hand this out to parents of God awful kids. <3

[Razvan]

ok

[Dayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

Seems like common sense...sadly, it's not anymore. Really liked the bullet points at the end of each chapter outlining basic manners for a couple dozen social situations. I will revisit those!

[Jovan Johnson]

this book has inspire me read every book at school

[Brandon Benson]

Been reading for long time

[Amani]

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