Glad No Matter What: Transforming Loss and Change into Gift and Opportunity

by SARK

Though SARK has empowered millions to live their creative dreams, manage their businesses, and savor personal connections, the deaths of her mother and cat and the end of a treasured relationship tested her ability to walk her talk. But as Glad No Matter What shows, she journeyed through the spirals and layers of grief and loss and emerged stronger and more whole. In this inspiring book, she shares the insights she found along the way — practical strategies we can all use to cultivate profound, positive transformation through, rather than despite, life’s inevitable travails.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Spirituality, Personal Growth, Inspirational, Personal Development

242 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 1, 2010

About the author

SARK (a.k.a. Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) is an American author and illustrator of self-help books. Five of her sixteen books have been national bestsellers, and she has sold more than two million copies of her books.

Reviews

[Jeff Maziarek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before reading this book I have to admit that I didn't know SARK from shinola, despite the fact that she has sold millions of books. I am so impressed with this work because not only is she exceptionally creative, she's also refreshingly authentic in her writing. Unlike so many self-help/spiritual growth authors who tend to position themselves on some pulpit of superiority (i.e., I've got it all solved), SARK openly admits there are times when she herself backslides into less than optimal feelings and behaviors. The truth is I just loved her candor, and more importantly, after experiencing the death of my three closest friends this year I found great value in the many innovative and practical transformative tools that she shares in this book.

Now that I've finished reading it, I must admit I feel dumbfounded as to why I'd never come across SARK's work in the past, as it truly is fabulous in so many respects. Based on the quality of this book, I'll definitely be considering other titles she's written.

Here's one of many excellent passages in "Glad No Matter What":

"If we do not allow ourselves to feel or express our emotions, they will get larger or louder of may go into our bodies and present themselves as some kind of medical condition. Feelings are meant to be in motion. E-Motion. Feelings are made to be expressed. You've probably heard: "If you can feel it, you can heal it." And this is true - yet many try to stop feeling before the healing takes place, especially if it seems like a "bad" or difficult feeling."

[Janet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Last year when I ordered this for my library, I was a bit put off by the artsy~balloony colorful text and pictures. For some reason this year, just now, I LOVE IT. This book spoke to me easily and fluidly. Her common sense yet heartfelt suggestions for lifting yourself up and beyond whatever you're going through were highlighted by that colorful text and those whimsical pictures. I have suggested this book to several friends who are also "going through" something (aren't we all?!) and will do so again, I'm sure. I've even called the author's "inspiration line" and was pleasantly met by what sounded like the gentle, happy voice of a good friend.

[Cherie Palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been reading SARK for 30 years, and she is always quirky and original. I like how she introduces you to books and thoughts of others.

[Halsted Bernard · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was my first exposure to SARK's writing, aside from her posters. It was a gift from a former co-worker as I left my job at the San Francisco Public Library. At the time, I didn't feel very gracious about the transition, and so it has taken me a while to finish reading this.

"Glad No Matter What" is primarily a book about the type of loss and change that surrounds the death of a loved one, but I could apply some of it to the loss and change I am currently experiencing as I transition to my new home. SARK's unbridled enthusiasm and good nature bursts from every page, and it is difficult not to be cheered by her multicolored scrawls.

My favorite portion of her book was about her "emotional GPS" and how she notices negative thought patterns and reactions as she is having them, then tells herself "recalculating" as she finds a new "emotional route". I chuckled over this, and then gave it some thought. Sometimes I feel very guilty about my negative responses to things while feeling helpless to change them. But with the emotional GPS idea, I can recalculate negative reactions into less negative responses.

I admit to skimming over some parts that were simply too spiritual for my tastes, but I remain an admirer of SARK as a creative force and a positive influence in a cynical world.

[Salem · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's SARK - you can guess what to expect. But if you're willing to put aside your cynical mind, the healing can happen. I also like her use of lists of other resources - other books, other websites, other thinking and perspectives. There's a great series of personal stories at the end too - some takes on loss that aren't just about people dealing with death. Bankruptcy is discussed, for example. Altogether, good stuff, though, I know, I know, you may want to use a book cover when reading it on the bus.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the perfect book for someone who has gone through a crushing loss like heartbreak and is grieving the relationship and person he or she loved. I have felt so centered and cared for while reading this. I wish I owned my own copy.

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I mostly enjoyed the content of this book. Refreshingly honest and candid regarding loss, living with joy no matter the situation, and and the gifts one can find even in the midst of grief, Glad No Matter What did also periodically delve way too far into the “woo woo” for my taste. In addition, the handwritten, colorful, artistic pages of the book actually detracted from my reading experience because I had some trouble deciphering S.A.R.K’s handwriting.
Much of the book contains sensible advice, but some of the testimonials near the end should have been cut (particularly the one by the man who left his wife and family during their multiple medical crises in order to pursue an “exciting” work opportunity: ridiculously selfish behavior from an awful man).
3-3.5 stars

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am really enjoying SARK's books about Transformation. I have read a few and this one deals with Loss, the feelings that never seem to go away, grieving, and loss of different kinds. She explains that one must stay with the feeling and not force it to go away. It is important so that you can make the changes as you are ready to transform, at your speed. You need to love yourself, and seek help or be with a dear family member, or friend and pour out your feelings. She also explains What to say and do, as well as NOT for someone who is grieving. It is a beautiful book of finding joy and gladness, and includes others whom she encountered along her way of healing.

[Elizabeth Hoffmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book full of little exercises to heighten your emotional awareness. SARK brings gratitude to all of living's experiences. It's sad and happy, with many personal insights as well. I felt like I was reading a well organized interactive gratitude journal. I would recommend it for anyone struggling to find some grounding in an uncertain situation or crisis in their life.

[▫️Ron S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the ultimate SARK book. Your right brain will roll in catnip, your left brain will make you reread and write your own reference table of contents. This is the life workbook you’ve looked for. Thank you SARK.

[Baley Petersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved SARK ever since I was exposed to my mom's boy of Succulent Wild Women as a teenager. This particular volume is focused on grief and how to proceed WITH grief rather than against it. SARK continues to give us permission to feel our feelings and make something better from them.

[Madelyne! · Rating 4 out of 5]

SARK is always great

[Shevonne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read almost all the Sark books, and I love them. I don’t know what I was expecting from this one. The reason I got the book was to get some pointers on how to deal with the grief I feel from my sister’s passing. It hasn’t gotten better, and I was trying to find some ways to stop feeling so miserable. Even though Sark’s book has a few strategies on dealing with grief, they are things that won’t do much for me. Maybe for someone else, the tips will help them. For someone who is big on goal setting, half of the book didn’t help. I did get some thoughts on being more positive. I read “The Good Earth,” but it’s great to be reminded to not be so negative all the time. In doing this, Sark’s book did help remind me to do that.

In life, I know there are different kind of losses, and that is what Sark wrote about. However, I felt that the feeling of loss due to someone dear to your heart passing was a very tiny section in the book. I learned more about her love relationship ending than her parents’ or cat’s passing away. For me, love relationships come and go, and I have dealt with the loss of love (actually, very recently). You cry, you deal, and you move on. However, my sister’s death is 100 times worse than losing the love of my life. I wanted to read more about that. You know that your ex-lover is living and living his life. He still has a chance to be happy, find the person for him, and live his life to the fullest (and I hope that one day he does just that. I hope he realizes that he has so much going for him, so he shouldn’t be moping around. I hope he realizes that he is a very special person, and not “shit” as he thinks he is). However, your loved one, who has passed away, doesn’t get that chance in this world with you there with her.

I don’t think that death is the end, and I agree with Sark on that. It is the ending of being with your loved ones though. I think that everyone creates their own heaven, or I hope that they do. For me, heaven is like in the movie “What Dreams May Come” or the book “The Lovely Bones.” You are in your own perfect world, and sometimes you cross heavens with your loved ones. It’s just that though; crossing paths. It isn’t being with them all the time, talking to them all the time, and thinking about them all the time. In a way, this makes me sad.

It’s a good book, but not what I expected.

[Tristy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not ashamed at all to say that I adore SARK and have all her books. This one holds up with all the rest and yet also has a deep sadness that is not reflected in her other publications. I appreciate her raw openness in this one and yet, there is a hurried and rushed quality to it. SARK writes all her books by hand - literally, it's written in her own handwriting with colorful pens and bright, cheery drawings. This book follows in the same vein, and yet even her handwriting is cramped and hurried. I've never had to stumble over her writing - trying to decipher what a particular word says - but in this book, I had trouble on many pages. She shares openly that at the time of the writing of this book, her mother had died, as well as her beloved cat and she had a major love break-up. She also was extremely ill and it reflects in the scatteredness of her writing style as well as the layout of the book. She says that we should choose a word and go to that chapter. I chose "Grief" because that was what I was feeling, but that whole section was about death of a loved one, which was not what my grief was about at all. I think there should have been a bit more guidance for the reader - again, a sense of hurry and rush when you just want to sink in and enjoy. And yet, it is still unabashedly SARK and therefore delightful and incredibly helpful.

[Tami · Rating 3 out of 5]

Glad No Matter What was not the book I expected. I saw the title and the author’s name (SARK) then flipped through the text and saw the odd coloured font. My assumption was that this was a book written by chronically ill children about their experiences, perhaps for the benefit of a children’s charity. It was not.

SARK is a clever acronym of the author’s name- Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy. The book contains her reflections about life particularly the lessons she learns with the death of her parents and her cat. Although there is useful information within the text, I found the font hard on my eyes. I saw no real purpose for the difference in font other than to grab attention in order to sell more books.

[Skostal · Rating 4 out of 5]

SARK is the happiest, most productive humanist I know. She has suffered more, and yet is undaunted in her optimism, her quest for good health, her drive to give the gifts of mercy and grace, which she has received so gloriously, so abundantly. She is wise, compassionate and patient. Please, if this is your first SARK book, know she has suffered more than most of us, and comes by her optimism by great personal sacrifice. Take the time to look at the body of her work. Take her work, despite her sunny illustrations, seriously. Here is a scout who knows the perils of the trail ahead, and the trail behind. A wonderful addition to the saints that pray for our survival.

[Kami Tilby · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up from the library with little expectation that it would be helpful. At the least it provided some distraction during some difficult weeks. At best it did have some interesting ideas for working through grief and loss that may or may not be helpful depending on how determined a reader is to follow through. I found the handwritten cutesy look interesting at first, then it just got irritating to have to figure out what a word said because the handwriting isn't always clear or precise. Interesting and engaging in a I-can't-sleep-what-can-I-do-to-distract-myself sort of way.

[Olivia Arrow · Rating 4 out of 5]

This really helped me during this difficult time I'm living through. She's like a ray of sunshine in a dark world. She helped me see things differently and gave me hope when I can barely imagine such a thing. I also really liked that at the end of each chapter she gave all these website and book referrals, leading me to more goodness. And I love that the whole thing is hand written in vibrant colors. It makes a difference. The world needs more people like SARK!

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the back cover: "This is not a book about feeling glad when you don't - how annoying. This is a book about finding and living from the glad parts in all of your feelings."

Longer, a bit chewier, and maybe less lighthearted than many of SARK's books? This one is about grief, change, and loss--and also hope and rejuvenation.

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some interesting viewpoints that I enjoyed reading and pondering. It's a fun read with all of the color and formatting and personal handwriting. I liked her concept of living in the middle, and the part about micro movement wheels of delight. Micro movements are like ignition devices, and lead to huge results and substantial growth. Tiny baby steps really make a difference.

[Cari · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has helped me process the loss of two close friends (one a cousin) who took their lives, one three weeks ago and the other a little over a year ago. It is a good book to give to someone you may know or get for yourself if there has been overwhelming loss in your life.

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely better than some of her early books, when she was a marketing machine and I had lost all faith. Although there are some rather mental things in this one (including parallel universes and talking animals) I still quite enjoyed it.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oshy recommended this to me. I read three minutes and thought hell yes. This is powerful storytelling and transformational work on emotional and mental health outlined with exercises, diagrams, and ideas. Thanks SARK.

[Sondra · Rating 5 out of 5]

SARK is really ridiculous sometimes (singing Amazing Grace at the DMV??), yet honest, wise, and open at the same time. I'm so glad a friend sent me this book just when I needed it. I'm going to keep reading it over and over until I loan it to a friend and hope it transforms him or her the same way!

[MyOnly · Rating 2 out of 5]

The most helpful part was the 2 pages where she lists things to say to grieving people instead of the usual overworked and tired things we always say. The rest was ok, but this was not my favorite Sark book.

[Athenameilahn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Repetitive and confusingly organized. I normally like Sark's quirk of handwriting instead of font, but in this book it was often hard to read. I will say the central message of seeing the positivity in everything is worth being reminded of.

[Becca · Rating 3 out of 5]

SARK just knows how to give you a kick in the pants.

[Sunny Days · Rating 5 out of 5]

so helpful for me right now. and LURVE the colourful writing and fun font

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I read it after my grandfather passed away & I found that it made me feel better. I love Sark. :)

[Jenni · Rating 4 out of 5]

A genuine and sometimes even practical conversation about dealing with loss and the changes that feel like loss. I'm surprised at how well I liked this book. It reached me where I am right now.