Unicorn Western: Full Saga

Unicorn Western #1-9

by Sean Platt

This 250,000-word "full saga" collection includes ALL NINE BOOKS in the Unicorn Western Series! Save over 60% versus buying the single volumes!

Cast out from the Magical Kingdom of The Realm and into the dying desert of the Sands beyond, Marshall Clint Gulliver and his unicorn Edward have finally found peace in the small and dusty town of Solace. But when both the fracturing worlds and Clint's bride-to-be are thrust into peril by an old foe, the gunslinger must come out of retirement and aim his seven-shooters at the dark magic and those who bring it. An epic quest hurls marshal and unicorn across the endless desert in pursuit of the dark rider Dharma Kold and his unicorn of a different color, where they must battle their way back toward The Realm to uncover the truth...and mayhap save the worlds that hang in the balance.

From the creators of Yesterday's Gone (Platt) and Fat Vampire (Truant) comes this reinvention of both the western genre and unicorn lore. Appropriate for adults, teens, and children, Unicorn Western is "Harry Potter without wizards but with gunslingers, talking unicorns, epic fights, and more turkey pie."

˃˃˃ "Wildly insane...Tons of fun...You'll fall in love."

Kathy Austin

˃˃˃ "I have no vested interest in your stupid unicorn story."

David W. Wright

˃˃˃ "Four and a half stars. Out of four and a half stars."

The Story Telling Podcast.

Get it now and save over 60% on the episodes!

Genres: Fantasy, Unicorns, Adventure, Fiction, Weird West, Westerns, Action

712 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 20, 2013

About the author

Sean loves writing books, even more than reading them. He is co-founder of Collective Inkwell and Realm & Sands imprints, writes for children under the name Guy Incognito, and has more than his share of nose.

Together with co-authors David Wright and Johnny B. Truant, Sean has written the series Yesterdays Gone, WhiteSpace, ForNevermore, Available Darkness, Dark Crossings, Unicorn Western, The Beam, Namaste, Robot Proletariat, Cursed, Greens, Space Shuttle, and Everyone Gets Divorced. He also co-wrote the how-to indie book, Write. Publish. Repeat.

With Collective Inkwell
Yesterday's Gone: Post Apocalyptic - LOST by way of The Stand
WhiteSpace: Paranoid thriller on fictitious Hamilton Island
ForNevermore: YA horror that reads nothing like YA Horror
Available Darkness: A new breed of vampire thriller
Dark Crossings: Short stories, killer endings

With 47North
Z 2134: The Walking Dead meets The Hunger Games
Monstrous: Beauty and the Beast meets The Punisher

With Realm & Sands
Unicorn Western: The best story to ever come from a stupid idea
The Beam: Smart sci-fi to make you wonder exactly who we are
Namaste: A revenge thriller like nothing you've ever read
Robot Proletariat: The revolution starts here
Cursed: The old werewolf legend turned upside down
Greens: Retail noir comedy
Space Shuttle: Over the top comedy with all your favorite sci-fi characters
Everyone Gets Divorced: Like "Always Sunny" and "How I Met Your Mother" had a baby on your Kindle

Sean lives in Austin, TX with his wife, daughter, and son.
Follow him on Twitter: http://twitter.com/seanplatt
 (say hi so he can follow you back!)

Reviews

[Ryan Kirk · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a book I really wanted to like. I'm a huge fan of the SPP podcast, and generally enjoy quite a bit of their writing as well. I knew this was the first collaboration between Sean and Johnny, but I was hopeful, because I did like the fat vampire series Johnny wrote.

To the point. First, I should mention that there was some pretty great stuff in this book.

1. It is original. I've never encountered unicorns and gunslingers in the same book, and the mash-up is pretty funny (for a while).
2. They aimed high. You'll hear them say on their podcast that the story got epic. I don't know if I'll give them epic - I think that term is used too often - but it does become a grand story near the end, and I'll give them points for that.
3. It is generally well-written. This is true of all of their material, so that shouldn't be surprising.

But, ultimately, I didn't like the series, as much as I wanted to. I feel like it was hard to pin down why, but here's what I've come up with after a few days of reflection:

1. Expectations. Being a mash-up is hard, because you're bringing two sets of expectations to a novel. Meeting both sets of expectations is challenging, and I don't think they made it in this series. Readers of western books definitely won't like it, but as a fantasy lover, I didn't find that I enjoyed it all that much. A grizzled gunslinger and a rude unicorn that poops rainbows might just be too genre-bending for me.
2. Originally written as nine stories. Fortunately, I read them all together, but I really don't think some of these stories would stand up on their own.
3. Tone. I think this book tries to be funny, meaningful, and "epic" all at the same time. Any of those are hard, and trying to do all three is near impossible. As a reader, it sometimes left me confused. Is this supposed to be funny? Am I supposed to be in suspense? Again, the authors aimed really high, and I don't think it worked for me.
4. Inside jokes. This is a personal pet peeve. I realize many people might like it, but it drives me off the wall. I'm an avid listener of all of the author's podcasts, and have read many of their other books, so I'm part of the "in" crowd when it comes to these jokes, and I still find them annoying.

Overall, I was torn. This could be a three-star book, but ultimately I felt that "It was ok" was a better sentiment.

[Demelza Carlton · Rating 5 out of 5]

If anyone had told me I'd love a book about a gunslinger who fires pink smoke while riding a unicorn, I'd have laughed...then found the first opportunity to Google said silly-sounding book. Oddly enough, that's how I picked up this one - but the recommendation came from one of the authors, after I'd read Fat Vampire.

I was told the first book of the series was free. It might be in the US, but it sure as Hell wasn't in the Australian Amazon store (a reflection on the retailer and not the authors, I'm sure). Yet there was this intriguing full saga version of the crazy unicorn tale...so I bought the whole set, figuring it was worth the gamble. After all, I'd first stumbled on Terry Pratchett's books in a similar way, been told about an equally silly concept, and I've consequently bought most of them. So I clicked my Kindle on to Unicorn Western 1 and started a very wild ride...

Intoxicating Fanta. A snarky unicorn who eats turkey pies. An epic journey where I have no idea what'll happen next - except that it'll involve something pink and sparkly emitted by a very manly unicorn. A flight of fantasy set in an American-West style setting that had me laughing...swearing...crying...and dying to know what happened next.

I'm still trying to work out whether the apple brew was alcoholic or not. I hope so - for that's what I recommend you grab a bottle of whilst you're reading this series.

Five stars. Worth every minute of my time reading it...and I will be on the lookout from more from both of these authors, both in the Unicorn universe and anywhere else they write fiction.

[Elizabeth Fraley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the whole series as a set. The writing is good, but my issue is that despite the focus on balance, women are not part of that. The only women in the series are tools — or, more accurately, resources — to be used.

[Ann Thomas · Rating 2 out of 5]

I already love much of these authors' books so I thought I would give this a try. Their writing is just as good, but the story is not to my taste.

[Lucy Takeda · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, my rating actually got up to 3 rather than 2.5. Things actually started making sense. Something happened beyond Clint wandering through a dusty setting.

[Cal Bowen · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF - Did Not Finish
These guys know their craft, but knowing how to write and writing something enjoyable are two separate entities.
The concept is interesting, but the execution is lacking. A western set in a Fantasy world should be wonderful and awesome, but this came off as childish and silly, and not at all as cool and interesting as I had hoped.
Better luck on my next attempt at their works.

[Warren Bluhm · Rating 5 out of 5]

It began as a laugh among friends. It has evolved into a nine-novella epic with the promise of two more epics to come. The story of how Unicorn Western came to be is almost as much fun as the actual story.

Sean Platt and Johnny B. Truant are two-thirds of a podcasting team that meets weekly to talk about writing and self-publishing. One day the other third, David W. Wright, took exception to Platt’s stated desire to write a western someday. Too much trouble, too much research needed to make it authentic – for example, do you know what color was the smoke from those old six-shooters? Hilarity ensued.

The solution to Wright’s objection: Put a unicorn in the story. That way when people question what appears to be an unrealistic detail, you can respond that this isn’t the real Earth: “If we’ve filled the world with unicorns, I’d say we can do anything we want!”

A few short months later, the joke is a series of novellas available as ebooks separately or in ebook and print as Unicorn Western: Full Saga – a sprawling tale of magic and prairie justice that spans decades and pays homage to at least nine films along the way. (Because I need an occasional break from electronic screens, I opted for the 690-page book.) There are plenty of in-jokes and winks that will bring a knowing smile or a laugh-out-loud to people familiar with the films and The Self-Publishing Podcast – my favorites are the prophetic owls – but the story creates a mythology all its own and stands up as a rousing yarn despite its goofy origins.

This is not Atlas Shrugged or even Lord of the Rings – the main thing it has in common with those works of literature is its length – but the payoff is definitely worth the long ride; the authors entertain and make you care along the way. Unicorn Western is the reader’s equivalent of a summer blockbuster movie, well worth the time invested and leaving you with anticipation of the sequel(s).

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Books 1-9: Other reviewers already summarize the plot very well, and mention the long stretches that are repetitive and boring. One reviewer suggested taking breaks between sections so the story stays fresher, which is probably a good idea for some readers. But as I'm an impatient reader, I read the whole thing over a week or so. From the beginning, I felt like the writers had thrown the story together in a sort of witch's cauldron of other writings/screenplays without even trying to hide them, e.g. Stephen King's Dark Tower series (for the main gunslinger); The Wizard of Oz (for the Realm architecture and bliss-seeking, xenophobic residents); Robot Proletariat (for the "thinking machines"); one character who reminded me of Star Trek episodes where a new character outgrows his/her limited body and must evolve into an everywhere-ness; Clint Eastwood's gnarly, snarly archetypes in standard Westerns, episodes that echo the unending soul-sucking darkness of G.R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones books), and perhaps even The Librarian series with Noah Wyle for fanciful, swashbuckling-style battles between good and evil. It's like they took all those stories and threw them into a blender, hit pulse a few times, and then put them back together into a new arrangement.

These are a mostly successful blend of characters I already know and enjoy, so I continued reading the nine-part series to the end. But the storyline wasn't tight enough, and by the time I finally got to the end, it didn't feel that satisfying. For me, Sean Platt and Johnny B. Truant's episodic style of publishing doesn't really work. If I were to take big breaks between episodes, too many details would be forgotten, and I'd have to reread the previous sections anyway. So I read as much as possible all at once. The series is entertaining, but would have benefitted from a more brutal editing process.

[Leslie Langtry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear readers – sometimes I have to scramble to find good fixin’s for my monthly humor post here at Book End Babes. But this time, why a durngunned book just fell into my lap! I was browsin’ the latest offerin’s when I stumbled upon UNICORN WESTERN!

Well, I purt near fell outta my pink recliner! How could I NOT read a book that has both a black-hatted Marshal who rides a snowy white, magical unicorn named Edward? I think y’all can see I had no choice.

So here’s the plan – a crusty Marshal is waitin’ to git himself hitched to his love, Mai, and retire from bein’ a lawman, when word comes that the bad guys are fixin’ to come a’shootin’ into town! The Marshal calls his trusty, sarcastic magical unicorn to help him gun down the baddies and save the day.

Edward is a bit of an ass – which is why I took a’likin’ to him immediately. No matter how dusty the trail is – Edward remains snowy white. He can heal his partner with pink sparks that come out of his horn, saving his life over and over. And he never fails with a biting quip. Just don’t never call him a horse.

I LOVED this book. I also LOVED the subsequent books, UNICORN WESTERN 2, UNICORN WESTERN 3 & UNICORN WESTERN 4. Each one is ’bout a hunnerd pages or you can buy the omnibus – a fancy word for ‘all the books together.’ AND the first one is free! Now you have no choice.

I loved the books even more when I read that the authors (Johnny B. Truant & Sean Platt) were told by their editor that they couldn’t write a Western without doing tons of research. “I’ll bet we can if we put a unicorn in it,” was their reply.

How can a gal argue with that? READ UNICORN WESTERN!

-Leslie Langtry

[Michael Ronn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read all 9 books in this saga in about 2 weeks, which is pretty fast considering this is a 250K word saga. Where to start? This is such an excellent idea, executed perfectly. The world of the Realm and Sands is realized beautifully, and there are so many great descriptions and lines that help bring it to life.

Clint is a likeable character, reminiscent of Clint Eastwood's characters in the Sergio Leone movies, but talkative and way nicer. Edward was a lot of fun, too, and I thought he reminded me of Mr. Ed, but much funnier.

The first book starts off a bit slow, but books 2,3,4, and 5 are so incredibly amazing that they're worth it. I do think that the series lost steam after #5 and it never quite got it back. I thought that the books were pretty formulaic, and while this wasn't a problem in the earlier books, it made the last few books harder to get through. But that's just my personal opinion and others might not agree. I also felt that the last few books were drawn out a bit, and I was eager to get to the final battle already.

I think that the series probably could have been shorter. Nine books is a lot (plus Genesis and Apocalypse), and while the books are addicting, I'm not crazy about committing myself to that many books in a series. Again, personal preference. Some may not take issue with this.

I highly recommend the series to anyone who likes westerns, fantasies, parodies, and everything in between. You won't be disappointed. I just wish there was an audiobook to go with it so I could listen to the series again in the future.

[Xavier Granville · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clint and Edward are your typical hardened gunslinger and unicorn duo, both taking each day one at time in the harsh 'Sands' after being cast out of the magical and unreachable 'Realm'.

Through the next nine books, the reader follows Clint and Edwards' adventures across a lushly crafted world that vaguely mirrors our own at times.

Through the rough Sands, past the horrors of the Dinosaur Missouri, over Elf Meadows, and eventually back to the mythical Realm, Clint and Edward travel in search of Clint's lost love, Mai, and in the process uncover a horrible plot that threatens the very fabric of the Universe.

Unicorn Western is not only a book that appeals to children and to adults, but it manages to transcend age by being the right amount of silly, the right amount of serious, and the right amount of awesomeness to make it a needed purchase and a required read for anyone looking for a magical world to be transported to where nothing is quite as it seems.

[Ellie Julio · Rating 5 out of 5]

You expect a book with a title like "Unicorn Western" to be funny, maybe even hokey. And it's certainly that throughout, drawing from every canonical western you've ever seen and throwing in deadpan nods to the audience every chapter.

What you don't expect is to have your heart strings pulled until you cry by the plight of a weathered gunslinger searching for his lost love. You don't expect to share in the confusion and pain and joy so strongly. And you certainly don't expect unicorns to be such magical jerks.

At nearly 700 pages, the full saga can seem daunting, but Truant and Platt do a masterful job of walking that fine line between information and action, plot and character, keeping you in the loop of the story without boring you. It moves along at a heady clip but manages not to lose you, either.

Pink gunsmoke. Joelsongs. Unicorns. The apocalypse. What more could you want from a western?

[Demelza Carlton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Much like the first book in the series, this last opens into action and gallops through the same way until the end.

The epic battle was far more epic than any other in the series - but so I'd expect. It even had me in tears - real tears, not just damp eyes - at one point, for there are always sacrifices to be made and I don't have to like them. And where would an epic fantasy battle be without some mystical bits that confuse everyone until the end?

Yes, I loved this book and five stars was an easy decision to make.

Hey, I've ridden this particularly grumpy unicorn through nine books of this series - I'd have left him behind long ago if I didn't like Truant and Platt's story. And if I didn't have a soft spot for unicorns...even snarky ones like Edward.

A brilliant ending to this chapter of the series.

[Emily Craven · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this 'saga'. What a brilliant cross in genres and at all times highly entertaining. In the end, the reason why I didn't give a higher rating is because I think the format didn't work for me at times. The saga was written in an episodic fashion and if I had read it that way with books in between I think I would have found the diversions in plot and the pace much more enjoyable. But reading all 9 'episodes' back to back meant I was essentially reading a one book plot arc over a page length of what would normally be two books. Read as one 'book' it made some of the main events in each section seem unnessisary and long winded. Which is unfair I feel to the spirit of the series and the truly entertaining characters and plot twists. So my recommendation would be, if you're going to buy the whole saga, break up your reading of it with other books for a more rewarding read

[Blaine Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the series...it started out as a joke, and became pretty serious as time went on. You can still find a lot of inside jokes if you are fans of their podcasts but it all reads as pretty straight even without the "insider" knowledge (and I'm sure there are plenty of jokes that went right over my head despite being a fan of BOU and SPP.)

The Realm wasn't quite what I was expecting it to be and didn't suck me in during the last few books, but it was still an interesting way to conclude the series that felt pretty satisfying. I'm looking forward to Unicorn Genesis and Unicorn Apocalypse just to see where the story came from and where it's going, but this certainly works as a standalone work. (If 9 books can be considered "stand-alone"...)

[Kat Lim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This series is one of the best $5 I have ever spent on a book. I was lucky enough to find it on sale and picked it up because I have a soft spot for westerns and believe unicorns make everything better.

The humor is well done. I wasn't familiar with the authors ahead of time, so I'm sure there are some inside jokes I missed, but overall the tone is light and enjoyable without being over the top.

I did find the series to be a bit uneven. Books 1 through 3 set up the story well. As mentioned while I was reading, Book 4 is amazing - a real emotional arc that carries you through the next volumes until it sucker punches you again at the end of Book 7. I found Book 8 and the first half of Book 9 dragged a bit, but it was worth sticking it out for an overall satisfying conclusion.

[S. Wideman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, I loved this series. I got it because of the hokey premise (I mean, seriously, a western with unicorn!), and I wasn't disappointed. We follow Marshall Clint (who I pictured as Clint Eastwood, because who else can carry on the grit needed for the character) and his faithful unicorn, Edward, as they travel across the Sands to save Clint's lady-love. The book is hilarious with several jokes and situations that made me laugh. The story was splendidly told, the characters evolved through the book, and the history of the Realm and the Sands was expertly told. I really loved this book series and was so glad I got it.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book, and just couldn't put it down until I'd finished the whole thing.
First of all the characters are very well written, and I feel like Clint, the rugged Marshall and Edward, the surly unicorn, have become friends that I love to spend time with. The episodic nature of the saga works well, with each 'book' having it's own season story arc, with an overall story arc for the saga as a whole, which worked really well in my view.
It made me laugh, it made me sad, and left me eager to read the prequel and spend more time in the world of Realm & Sands with Clint and Edward.

[Drae Box · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading Unicorn Western because Sean and Johnny talk about it a lot on their podcast (but not in a bad way). I was intrigued, so I grabbed the full copy on Kobo. Absolutely loved it! Lots of action and adventure spurring me on to read the next episode. Struggled a little through episode 8 (if it wasn't that one, it was 7).

Definitely would recommend grabbing this is you want to immerse yourself into a complicated but wonderful world, with a story you just have to get to the end of!

[Keith Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sean Platt has a remarkable imagination and I love his sense of humor. This is something that is too often missing in much of today's fantasy and science fiction. His stories are also very well-imagined and the characters are well-developed and simply hilarious. My only criticism would be that it does get a little thick toward the end and a bit hard to follow because so much is going on that it can be a bit hard to keep track. But overall these books are just a joy to read and I will definitely be reading anything else I can find from this author.

[Dan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have thought about stopping reading this book for a while. I got half way through and am bored. They lead you on with the main story of Clint never quiet getting to catch the main bad guy. Then you encounter the formula of "move to a new place, introduce a new bad guy, destroy new bad guy, almost catch the real bad guy and then you start the next section." There were truly some funny parts in it that made me laugh out loud. However, the ride is not worth nearly 700 pages of tedium.

[Jeremiah Kleckner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every couple of years, an idea comes along that is so stupid that it is bound to make its creator(s) filthy rich. Unicorn Western carries the same brilliant mixture of completely unrelated elements as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Toxic Avengers, or Robocop while also telling a story that is methodically paced and engaging.

[Jo Osborne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love these books, they are fantastic and I will now move on to the prequel!

I thoroughly enjoyed riding through the sands with Clint, Edward and the friends that they picked up along the way as they travelled over the sands and through villages looking for friends, enemies and magic.

A recommended read for all ages.

[Kelly Chrysler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, first off I got the first book in this series for free, and right away I was hooked. At the end of it, I couldn't wait to continue to read, so I went and purchased the whole 9 book set, and was it ever worth it! This author has a knack to keep you entertained with action, or humor...just a delightful experience...

[Garrett Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly, highly recommended. This entire saga thrilled and entertained from start to finish, and I'd recommend it to anyone from pre-teen to adult. An utterly fantastic, engaging tale, with extremely likable and relatable characters (yes, even though Edward the Unicorn is a total jerk).

[Annette Rand · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable read, and I'll probably look for more books by these authors in the future. I'm not a huge western fan, but I do enjoy fantasy worlds and this ticked enough boxes to make it enjoyable.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Weird, funny, moving and surprisingly dark at times. Read it if the title sounds awesome to you.

[Veronica Whited · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strong first half, weak second half/ending.

[Luminita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read. Very unpredictable and at the same time very "familiar" in a way. I couldn't put it down until I finished reding it. Totally loved it!

[KarenLee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful!

I absolutely loved this saga and will immediately read the prequels. It was a fantasy that both involved by brain and my funny bone. What more could you ask for?