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435 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 7, 2014




One mistake.
That's all it took.
One fuckin', stupid, childish, dumb mistake.


"Here, everyone knows my story and has decided I'm trash."
"Except me," she said.
"Saying that he'd cute is like saying that it's dark at night."

Tall, over six foot, ripped, and with sandy-blond hair that was just a bit too long, tats running down both arms to his elbows, cheekbones you could file your nails on, and lips that were just perfect for biting.

A lot can happen in six seconds.
Your whole life can change in a heartbeat.
"I really want to kiss you right now."

"You've turned Mikey's death into a life sentence - for all you - for Paul, for Jordan. You turned them into lifers."



"I love you, Torrey Delaney. You don't have to say it back to me, but I love you. I didn't believe life was worth living until I met you. I'm so, so happy I was wrong."



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“Here, everyone knows my story and has decided I’m trash.” “Except me,” she said.Jordan is the town pariah. No one talks to him or looks at him unless they are harassing him. Torrey’s mother is the only one who would give him a job to meet his parole requirements, and that is only because it was the ‘Christian thing’ to do. Even his own parent’s hardly speak to him. But Torrey is different. So different. She wants to know him, gets him to open up. Torrey needs someone in her life too. They both fill that spot for one another.
“I like talkin’ about it with you. It’s just a little strange for me. I feel like you’re a dream and I’ll wake up and find my life really is total shit after all.”
When I was with her, for the first time in a long while, I didn’t feel judged. I couldn’t figure out why, but she seemed to accept me for who I was. Not that I knew what that meant anymore, but she made me feel alive.
“I love you.” I said. “What we have, you and me, it’s what I thought love should be, but I’d stopped believing it existed.”









“I didn’t believe life was worth living ‘til I met you.”
“What would it do to a person, living day in and day out surrounded by nothing but memories and hatred?”
“I wouldn’t want a guy like me spending time with my daughter either.”
“In prison I’d kept to myself; out here, I didn’t know what the boundaries were anymore. It was a game of life where I didn’t know the rules and couldn’t work them out— and I was losing. Big time.”
“If I could, I’d take you somewhere real upscale. There’d be a starched white cloth on the table, napkins folded into fancy shapes, and candles all around us. I’d order champagne and the best food on the menu. We’d eat and laugh and talk, and I’d take you dancin’ till dawn. Then I’d lay you down on soft sheets and love you till the sun was high in the sky.”
“…the only thing I’d miss if I went back now would be you.”

“Maybe we'll both have to be bad together.” he whispered against my hair.
“Works for me.” I said.
'So I'd ended up calling Mom for the first time in six years and taking up her offer of a room in Smallbutt, Nowheresville, on the gulf coast of Texas.'
'Jordan was vulnerable, and he didn't need me making his life any harder.'
'In prison I'd kept to myself; out here, I didn't know what the boundaries were anymore. It was a game of life where I didn't know the rules and couldn't work them out – and I was losing. Big time.'
'I'd never met a person who needed a friend more.'
'She was so fucking fearless; she'd charge hell with a bucket of iced water.'
“Well? How do I look?”
Beautiful. Gorgeous. Sexy. Off limits.
“Um, Fine.” I managed to squeeze out. She raised her eyebrows.
“You smooth talking stud. I can see that I'm going to have to watch myself with you.”
She seemed to be staring into the distance, but I guess she must have noticed my condition after all, because she said in a conversational tone, “If you want to use the bathroom to jack off, better do it now because I’m going to take a shower in a minute.”
I nearly swallowed my tongue, and I’m sure my jaw was pretty darn close to dropping on the floor.
“Excuse me?” I managed to cough out.
She turned an amused face toward me.
“You just look a little uncomfortable there, cowboy. I thought you might need some relief.”





”It was hard to make plans for what I wanted to do with my life when I didn’t deserve to have any… I guess my punishment was to carry on living.”
“Don’t it bother you? Sittin’ here with … with someone like me?”
“I’d say it bothers you more than it bothers me.”
“Yeah, it bothers me.”
”Well? How do I look?”
Beautiful. Gorgeous. Sexy. Off limits.
“Um, fine,” I managed to squeeze out.
She raised her eyebrows. “You smooth talking stud. I can see that I’m going to have to watch myself with you.”
“This is real good, Torrey,”
“I know. I’m the perfect woman: I can cook and I drive a cool car.”
“You are,” he said, quietly. “You’re perfect.”
His mood was serious as I looked over at him in surprise. “Um, thanks. I was joking actually. I’m a complete bitch most of the time and have gazillions of annoying habits.”
“I wasn’t jokin’,” he said, holding my gaze. “I’m just so fuckin’ grateful that you’re here.” He took a deep breath. “And I really want to kiss you right now.”
“Fast, slow, hard, soft— I want it all with you, Torrey. I cain’t imagine not wantin’ you. Ever.”
Through and through, Jordan was an intriguing mix of contradictions: his hard body, his soft lips; his serious, sensible nature; his wild and passionate side; the scary, prison demeanor he could switch on; his gentle soul.
"I won’t stand by and let you self destruct out of some twisted sense of … justice … or atonement. If you can’t move on, I don’t see that we can have a future.”
“I didn’t believe life was worth living ‘til I met you. I’m so, so happy I was wrong.”

It was fascinating watching him work, he was so competent and in charge. It offered another glimmer of the person he used to be, and the person I hoped he could be again.
I realized what she'd seen: me kneeling with my head nearly in Jordan's lap. She'd obviously sprinted to the wrong conclusion.
"Jeez, Mom, really? Did you think I was blowing him right here on your sofa?"
Her face went an even darker shade of red, and behind me Jordan sounded like he was choking.
Mom uttered a few mangled vowels then almost ran to the kitchen, mumbling about making coffee.
“You’re an angel,” he said, softly. “My guardian angel.”
“Jordan was an intriguing mix of contradictions: his hard body, his soft lips; his serious, sensible nature; his wild and passionate side; the scary, prison demeanor he could switch on; his gentle soul.”
“It was hard and shocking, coarse and crude. Utterly unrefined and utterly thrilling. His roar as he came was loud and certain.
We collapsed onto the bed, his weight on top of me, his hot breath searing my neck.
I felt his dick twitch inside me and I whimpered.”
There were days when I wished they’d lock me away forever, because that’s what I deserved. For reasons I didn’t understand, life had given me a second chance, and that was hard to deal with. I had no clue how to live anymore.
“Here, everyone knows my story and has decided I’m trash.”
“Except me,”…
“Yeah, but that’s because you don’t know me.”
Her eyes don’t flinch.
“You want me to leave you alone?”
…
“No, I don’t want you to leave me alone.”
… “Good”.
When I was with her, for the first time in a long while, I didn’t feel judged. I couldn’t figure out why, but she seemed to accept me for who I was. Not that I knew what that meant anymore, but she made me feel alive.
“I’m just so fuckin’ grateful that you’re here.” He took a deep breath. “And I really want to kiss you right now.”
“It’s okay, Jordan. You’re safe with me.”
“I want you with me – all of you. It’s not just fuckin’. Not for me, not with you. I know you think it’s because I haven’t slept with a woman in a long time, but it’s not. It’s because it’s you, and I meant it when I said I wanted to make love to you.”
I was stunned by his little speech.
“Let me make love to you, Torrey Delaney,” he said, his voice tender and almost pleading.
“It’s not just that you accept me for who I am. You make me want to be more than I thought I could ever be.”
And Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is greater than I can bear.”




"“Sure, you’ve got issues. Who doesn’t? You’re normal, Jordan. Your past is just a bit more colorful.” She arched an eyebrow. “You’re not that special.”"
"Just because Mom had assumed I was being my usual sluttish self. Okay, so I’d hooked up with quite a number of guys in the couple of weeks I’d been here, but did she really think I’d do a guy on her sofa in the middle of the day? Scratch that, because the answer was obviously ‘yes’.
"This woman. What she did to me. I felt as if I’d been in a dark cave for years and she was the sun exploding around me. She’d stripped away every layer of skin and poured her kindness and compassion into my body, healing me from the inside out."
"I’m not going to let him suffer anymore. What you do with your lives is up to you, but Jordan deserves better than that. And I’ll spend the rest of my life with him, making sure he knows he’s loved and forgiven.”"
""I love you, Torrey Delaney. You don’t have to say it back to me, but I love you. I didn’t believe life was worth living ‘til I met you. I’m so, so happy I was wrong.”"








For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God; so turn, and live.
~Ezekiel~
Drama. Angst. Tragedy. Heartbreak.
Passion. Compassion. Evolution. Love.