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BDSM Basics for Beginners - A Guide for Dominants and Submissives Starting to Explore the Lifestyle

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You have been drawn to the world of BDSM, but searching for one book to give you an overview of both Dominance and Submission. This book provides you with descriptions of all roles, different BDSM relationships, commonly used terms, guidelines for roles and responsibilities, and much more. After reading this book, you should have a well rounded foundation to start your journey further into the ever changing world that is known as BDSM.

103 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 13, 2013

67 people are currently reading
756 people want to read

About the author

Michelle Fegatofi

6 books90 followers
Michelle has been in and around the BDSM Lifestyle for over 20 years as a submissive/slave. She mentors and advises new people, as well as writes educational books and blogs on different subjects from a submissive point of view. She shares her own life experiences and incites in hopes of inspiring others.

Find her on many social media sites at:

about.me/michellefegatofi

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5 stars
45 (40%)
4 stars
34 (30%)
3 stars
22 (19%)
2 stars
8 (7%)
1 star
2 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
Profile Image for Kit.
348 reviews251 followers
January 13, 2017
More reviews at Li'l Kit’s Reviews.

Writing: ★★★★★
Story: N/A
Characters: N/A

Overall rating: 5.0

Even though I've been in the lifestyle for almost 6 years, I decided to pick this book up and give it a read. One never stops learning, right?!

I found a lot of useful information, things that I've done in the past that aren't followed so much anymore, but I'd like to re-incorporate into our lives. This was a nice, and much needed "refresher" course.

The book is well written, with a lot of great advice, no matter how new you are to the lifestyle or how long you've been *in* the lifestyle.

If you're curious about the lifestyle, this is one of the best to read, and learn from. It's exactly as the title says... BDSM Basics for Beginners it's a guide to learn from and get your footing.

I also have this book in paperback, and have gifted it to several new submissives I've met along the way. I've used it to get answers to some of the more basic questions that pop up from time to time.

I've followed Michelle's blog, BDSM Unveiled for a while now, and have even used her blog and books as educational topics for newer submissives that come on to my Master's and my board, The Erogenous Zone.

I highly recommend this book, and her other books, including her blog, to anyone that is interested in delving into this wonderful lifestyle! It's a great book to sit and just read, and to refer back to as needed.
Profile Image for Alisha Martin.
1 review1 follower
August 4, 2013
Great advice and upbeat messages. Beautifully told. Nicely written. Gave me a lot to think about (in a positive way). I bought the book after reading your blog: most of those articles you wrote on your blog, were the very questions I had and discussed with my Dom prior to entering into a relationship with him. Love this book! Worth every dollar spent. I don't dislike anything in it. Thank you for taking the time to write it: I want to know more and can't wait for the next.
Profile Image for LaGina.
2,040 reviews41 followers
January 21, 2014
I really loved this book. As someone new to the life style and wanting to learn more so I have a better idea of what i was walking int. The author is as sweet as can be and is on facebook and will give in depth answer if you ask. Thank you for writing this Michelle.
2 reviews
June 25, 2024
Very one-sided, and definitely not for true beginners, they would be just confused. It is very, very subjectively written, which is not bad if you are looking for information how being a sub can feel, but I really wouldn't call it 'A Guide for Dominants and Submissives'. It is heavily centered on 24/7 M/s from sub perspective and absolutely vague about early stages of that. It can be an 'oh yeah, that would be nice to have' kind of realisation book for some, but it inevitably rises the question 'How to get there?' without really explaining that, and that's not how a guide should work (in my opinion).

In Czech it also has intro by a Czech sexologist who, frankly speaking, wrote it in a way that negates the positive vibe this book has in itself, lying a parallel between human and animal behaviour in most unfortunate way. Don't be dissuaded by that.
18 reviews
November 2, 2021
filled with red flags and false info about submission

When someone writes about how to be a “true submissive,” that’s a huge red flag. The writer keeps going down the rabbit hole claiming things like “being a slave is the deepest kind of submission” which is utter bullshit. There is really only info on M/s dynamics and she skips most kinks while repeating others. Her understanding of different types of dynamics seems very limited, and I would definitely not recommend that beginners read this book to get an understanding of what a kink lifestyle is really like.
Profile Image for Shivam Shaw.
3 reviews
September 13, 2022
Its a very enlightning book for someone craving out there to know how huge is this small word "BDSM" Since its not possible for me to buy it from an offline store in india for some obvious reasons though i came across by reading pdf from the internet When i started this Pdf Usually i am done with 5 pages per day but this was so cathchy that it barely took me 5 days to cover all the topic ...
Profile Image for Gene.
781 reviews8 followers
July 31, 2021
Simple things, but then everything starts that way doesn't it? Not a bad book if interested at all.
Profile Image for Orpheus.
164 reviews
October 24, 2021
jako dobra knjiga prva nonfiction za mene jako puno razmisljanja ima
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Roko K.
21 reviews1 follower
August 12, 2023
Seems to be thoroughly taught out overview of what a bdsm play and realationship is.(no play techniques) very practical advice. [1st Listen trough.]
Profile Image for Andi.
432 reviews11 followers
September 29, 2016
Delivers exactly as advertised in the title. A perfect starting point for someone new to BDSM. I think it provides a great foundation in a quick, concise, easy to read and understand manner. This is a really good place to start if you have a strong desire to truly understand BDSM rather than going in blind. But as the title says this is truly just the basics and will not be enough knowledge on its own. My only critism would be it needs editing. Lots of simple and easy to spot mistakes.
Profile Image for Sheera.
182 reviews
January 2, 2016
I have mixed thoughts/feelings. There was some interesting information and some things that I didn't like or agree with its presentation. Overall, I'd say it was an okay read.
Profile Image for Pavla.
71 reviews6 followers
Read
October 25, 2016
Zajímavé, ale inspirovat se nebudu. :D
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews

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