Supernatural Fanfic - Sam/Dean Not all of our scars are worn on the outside ...
This is a VERY DARK FIC, and if you are sensitive to issues of consent or to the psychological repercussions of rape and other sexual trauma, please hit the back button now. There IS a happy ending, but it is at the other end of a very long, very dark tunnel. Please be sure you want to make the journey before clicking ahead. Artpost: http://graphicinmotion.livejournal.co... Words:373,399 Complete
Re-read this epic for the second time, updated to 5 stars.
This is a lengthy extremely well written fanfic from leonidaslion. No typos, just beautiful prose and chock full of ANGST!! The story parallels the first two seasons of Supernatural written from Sam's perspective. At Stanford Sam lusts after his brother after watching a gay porno of Dean online. Following Jess's death, the brothers team up again but Dean carries a horrendous secret buried in his psyche. ' Things can't possibly get any worse. Except this is Dean, who seems to attract sorrow like the gleam of gold attracts magpies, and Sam can't shake the fear that it can get worse. It can actually get a lot worse.'
This was a time-share-slow-sipping-kind of read (it's uber-long) and one long-drawn-out angst-fest of bona-fide-estrogen-junky material.
So-pack and schedule your time accordingly-because not only is this an emo-drawn Sam & Dean (Supernatural) fanfic incestual love-story. It also combines the supernatural element of the show's episodes (which-I could have done w/o) So-if you don't watch the show or are even familiar with it..you're going to be more than a little lost and feeling some pain.
It's like a War & Piece never-ending-kind-of saga primarily comprising a chronological-running-tabulation of the show's episodes (fanfic-adapted). The blurb summarizes the basic premise of this particular fanfic story for the most part. Sam's (present tense) POV narrating his conflicting feelings and the emotive story line is convincingly well-done.
Be advised it contains traumatic and brutally violent content triggers of nonconsensual sexual material.
Surpisingly, the sexual content regarding the incest portion of Dean and Sam is not necessarily extreme or even explicitly abundant but more so illuminates a psychological-behavioral glimpse into an extremely dark and complicated subject matter. It's painstakingly portrayed and well-done.
Although, the complex erotic taboo component is exquisitely angst-ridden if not tediously drawn-out. The best part (for me) is the last 30% in which both Sam and Dean are compellingly-drawn true to their characteristic form. And..clearly, judging from above the dramatically intense emotional depth in which these characters are played, it's not surprising in the least they've generated such a following in response to their stunning complementary character chemistry.
The bulk of the content (not so much the incest)
And poor f'ing Sammy..this dude! The shit bestowed upon him for walking disaster purposes was intense and difficult to read over and over even more so than that of Dean (for me) and it's what compelled me to continue reading it to the end. My curiosity of Sam's dramatically-hopeless predicament (a predicament I suspect is far more common than many know) and how it all played out had to be satisfied.
My calibre e-reader claims that this one has 2367 pages and while I have no clue how much that is in normal reading devices - it still should be quite a lot into War and Peace rather than - quick, mindless porn, territory. And the base fact that I read this, and read this in 3 days doesn't let me to give it less than 4 stars.
But would I recommend this to you? It's hard to say so. And there is more than one reason behind that.
Well first, it's a fanfic - if you don't dig them - you are going to bury all my love or hate towards this one anyway.
Second - it's a Supernatural fanfic.
Third - it contains too many trigger warning for me to be comfortable to suggest anyone to read it. It's kinda the same deal as I have with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berserk_... - Do I think it's one of the greatest stories ever told? Yeah. Would I recommend it to you? If I'm not sure that you're just as big sick-fuck as I am - no. And if I did - recommendations would come with a heavy trigger and content warning.
The Bright Lights of Disturbia is worse.
If you are not comfortable reading incest, rape, a lot of violence, suicide and general mind fuck - you shouldn't bother starting this.
In general, I myself have some problems - esp. winchest in this case - and while I don't want to spoil - the reason while it was fine for me this time was the general aura that Sam is a sic fuck and should be locked away. And the more I read, the more I got the feeling that I am not supposed to sympathize with him, right til the end when a tale of darkness and fucked up power dynamics turned into something way too predictable - everyone shall be forgiven. There are things you don't get salvation over, ok?
And I belive that main problem behind all that is not the wish to please the reader but the thing I started this review with - the length of the work. When you are reading, you can basically feel the moment when author decides that this is fucking enough and the end should come sometime this century, please! In the name of wrapping everything up a good old time skip is used, some characters gets left hanging out to dry (John, I'm speaking about you. The day when I care about John Winchester is finally here, who would have thought that.)
Why 4 star then? Well, that's easy - I really fucking liked it. Until the end, I believed that I was reading one of the cleverest portrayals of rape and abuse, and Sam made a great unbelievable narrator. The way Dean reacted to everything was very Dean Winchester like ( which implies a great deal of denial and blaming himself.) Right until the moment when I started to feel like abuse is being used more to fetishise than to portray the tale, while everyone hadn't yet got a sudden lobotomy that had been left out - I had put this fic into he isle of glory. And I'm kinda sad about the ending making me glare at it so bad.
I'm sad about Berserk turning into - Go!Champion tale too. I guess it's just my fate to get superficially sweet endings to mud in the face stories.
I am horrible at writing reviews. Oni's review pulled me in. All those bright flashing lights with warnings...just screamed READ ME!
I almost passed on this story, just because of the length. Length doesn't usually faze me, but I didn't think a Fanfic story that LONG was going to be able to cut it. I was wrong. Once I started, I couldn't stop reading it.
I can't put into words how I feel about this story. Just that I loved it. Read Oni's review, for the most part, that just about covers it. If those bright flashing warning lights, pull you in, instead of repel you...then you're in for a heartbreaking, but beautiful ride.
Re-read 6/5/2016 A barely coherent recap for the second time around: - Still completely enthralled by, well, everything: strong, engaging opening and brutal, incredibly-written plot that delivers!. - Still utterly charmed by the perfect depiction and understanding of Dean's character - Still devastated by that particular voicemail, yup, that one - Still grateful for every light-hearted/cheerful moments because Lord knows, leoni does not dish them out freely Some new, yet centuries-late-to-the-party perspectives: - Sam appears almost like an unreliable narrator, as events are twisted and manipulated to his point of view - The ending, though forever appreciated for concluding on a god-has-mercy happy note, seems a bit rushed, and the writing quality did dip a mili-fraction Some wistful thinking: - Dean's viewpoints. I do prefer writings with multiple storytellers. - More fluff! 2,3 semi-cuddly chapters aren't going to balance 1000 pages of heartbreak! Verdict: 5 unchangeable stars
That is just sick! They're brothers. Brothers what the fuq
I'm assuming the author knows they're brothers because firstly, he's a Supernatural fan and second he's not stupid. But this is just awkward. Brothers having sex?
I'd still read it because I'm a masochist and I like Supernatural. I'll prepare myself a bucket.
Led to this by a strange link-trail of wikipedia, trope links, and recommendations. Would not normally read this because of the ship - this is the first one I've read of this particular subset, and a few times I had to stop for a few just because. But the story itself is astonishingly well-written, and worth reading to the end. Even though the end is quite far away.
I'm not a wincest fan, but I loved the hell out of this fic.
The portrayal of the brothers' dynamic was amazing and so spot on. 1000% accurate character portrayal (aside of the fact that I think Sam is canonically straight and is not crushing over his brother).
The writing is beyond words. This is art.
I cried several times and I think I will remember this story on my deathbed.