When Boys Become Boys: Development, Relationships, and Masculinity

by Judy Y. Chu, Carol Gilligan

When Judy Y. Chu first encountered the four-year-old boys we meet in this book, they were experiencing a social initiation into boyhood. They were initially astute in picking up on other people’s emotions, emotionally present in their relationships, and competent in their navigation of the human social world. However, the boys gradually appeared less perceptive, articulate, and responsive, and became more guarded and subdued in their relationships as they learned to prove that they are boys primarily by showing that they are not girls.



Based on a two-year study of boys aged four to six, When Boys Become Boys offers a new way of thinking about boys’ development. Chu finds that behaviors typically viewed as “natural” for boys reflect an adaptation to cultures that require boys to be emotionally stoic, competitive, and aggressive if they are to be accepted as “real boys.” Yet even as boys begin to reap the social benefits of aligning with norms of masculine behavior, they pay a psychological and relational price for hiding parts of their authentic selves.



Through documenting boys’ perceptions of the obstacles they face and the pressures they feel to conform, and showing that their compliance with norms of masculine behavior is neither automatic nor inevitable, this accessible and engaging book provides insight into ways in which adults can foster boys’ healthy resistance and help them to access a broader range of options for expressing themselves.





Judy Y. Chu is Affiliated Faculty in the Program in Human Biology at Stanford University and co-editor of Adolescent Boys: Exploring Diverse Cultures of Boyhood (NYU Press 2004).



Carol Gilligan is University Professor of Applied Psychology and the Humanities at New York University. She is the author or editor of many books, including In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development and Joining the Resistance.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Sociology, Feminism, Gender

242 pages, Paperback

First published June 6, 2014

Reviews

[Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this after hearing Judy Chu on the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. Such an interesting study! It makes so much sense that boys are gendered socially earlier than girls. It was a much more interesting book in my opinion because of the case studies. Rather than just say "this study said" to read the actual conversations with the boys was fascinating. As a parent, I hear a lot of gendering from other parents and I just don't understand how it's helpful to anyone. Hopefully the lack of expectations gender-wise for our kid will help protect him from some of the messages he receives in the world.

[Chris Sotelo · Rating 4 out of 5]

It reads a little researchy, not a personal narrative of the study done by the author. However, as a boy who has wondered the question posed by many about the first real socialization, I felt so connected to the boys studied.

Emotional at times, seeing how people with personal development issues like myself can trace it back to those formative years.

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was excited for this book, but it reads more as a dissertation or Master's thesis, with little helpful information for parents or teachers. Too much detail about the case study, and conversations and reflections took up too much volume which distracted from the main points, which were all outlined in the book summary succinctly. Read the summary, not the book, and get the same thing out of it.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're not expecting it--this is an academic book. It's not really written for popular consumption (and if it was, it should have been better edited!) As is, it's compelling and interesting especially/mostly if you have a boy this age (pre-K). It's a warning about the hard work of blocking gender socialization and especially notes how parents and teachers can be, almost unwittingly, complicit. We need to protect our boys' relational capabilities, is her urgent call to action. If you're getting tactical about raising a different generation of boys, this is a good tool, but treat it like the classwork it is!

[Mills College Library]

305.23081 C55917 2014