When Boys Become Boys: Development, Relationships, and Masculinity

by Judy Y. Chu, Carol Gilligan

Based on a two-year study that followed boys from pre-kindergarten through first grade, When Boys Become Boys offers a new way of thinking about boys’ development. Through focusing on a critical moment of transition in boys’ lives, Judy Y. Chu reveals boys’ early ability to be emotionally perceptive, articulate, and responsive in their relationships, and how these “feminine” qualities become less apparent as boys learn to prove that they are boys primarily by showing that they are not girls. Chu finds that behaviors typically viewed as “natural” for boys reflect an adaptation to cultures that require boys to be stoic, competitive, and aggressive if they are to be accepted as “real boys.” Yet even as boys begin to reap the social benefits of aligning with norms of masculine behavior, they pay a psychological and relational price for renouncing parts of their humanity. Chu documents boys’ perceptions of the obstacles they face and the pressures they feel to conform, showing that compliance with rules of masculinity is neither automatic nor inevitable. This accessible and engaging book provides insight into ways in which adults can foster boys’ healthy resistance and help them to access a broader range of options as they seek to connect with others while remaining true to themselves.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Sociology, Feminism, Gender

242 pages, Hardcover

First published June 6, 2014

Reviews

[Kitty]

Read this after hearing Judy Chu on the Your Parenting Mojo podcast. Such an interesting study! It makes so much sense that boys are gendered socially earlier than girls. It was a much more interesting book in my opinion because of the case studies. Rather than just say "this study said" to read the actual conversations with the boys was fascinating. As a parent, I hear a lot of gendering from other parents and I just don't understand how it's helpful to anyone. Hopefully the lack of expectations gender-wise for our kid will help protect him from some of the messages he receives in the world.

[Chris Sotelo]

It reads a little researchy, not a personal narrative of the study done by the author. However, as a boy who has wondered the question posed by many about the first real socialization, I felt so connected to the boys studied.

Emotional at times, seeing how people with personal development issues like myself can trace it back to those formative years.

[Ashley]

I was excited for this book, but it reads more as a dissertation or Master's thesis, with little helpful information for parents or teachers. Too much detail about the case study, and conversations and reflections took up too much volume which distracted from the main points, which were all outlined in the book summary succinctly. Read the summary, not the book, and get the same thing out of it.

[Jessica]

If you're not expecting it--this is an academic book. It's not really written for popular consumption (and if it was, it should have been better edited!) As is, it's compelling and interesting especially/mostly if you have a boy this age (pre-K). It's a warning about the hard work of blocking gender socialization and especially notes how parents and teachers can be, almost unwittingly, complicit. We need to protect our boys' relational capabilities, is her urgent call to action. If you're getting tactical about raising a different generation of boys, this is a good tool, but treat it like the classwork it is!

[Mills College Library]

305.23081 C55917 2014